# You only get three wishes, and you cant wish for more...Did I find a loop hole? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 7, 2003, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-only-get-three-wishes-and-you-cant-wish-for-more-did-i-find-a-loop-hole/206092 "2003-10-07T16:45:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2003, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-only-get-three-wishes-and-you-cant-wish-for-more-did-i-find-a-loop-hole/206092/21 "2003-10-07T23:50:57Z")
> [@](#): > > I wish I had all the powers of “Q”, I was expecting him to suddenly be worth 10 points at scrabble… Anyway, can anyone think of rules that limit three wishes’ power reasonably? Everything I can think of either allows you to become effectively omnipotent, allows the genie to screw you over arbitrarily, or leaves it to the discretion of the genie. ---
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-only-get-three-wishes-and-you-cant-wish-for-more-did-i-find-a-loop-hole/206092/22 "2003-10-08T00:22:44Z")
Metawishes are the way to go: I wish for the granting of my wishes without the side effects or specific implementations granted by a malolevent genie. ---
**Author:** ![Netbrian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71e660/32.png) [@Netbrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Netbrian)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-only-get-three-wishes-and-you-cant-wish-for-more-did-i-find-a-loop-hole/206092/23 "2003-10-08T01:12:10Z")
Actually, I don’t always even use it for its wish depending on the game I’ve played. If I’m playing a combat character with limited access to magic mapping, I very often will WANT that permanent lightsource, especially during the early game and the end game. Brian, whom has ascended S and V. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-only-get-three-wishes-and-you-cant-wish-for-more-did-i-find-a-loop-hole/206092/24 "2003-10-08T04:38:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by robertliguori \* > \*\*Metawishes are the way to go: > I wish for the granting of my wishes without the side effects or specific implementations granted by a malolevent genie. \*\* But it’s ok for side effects or specific implementations granted by a benevolent genie? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-only-get-three-wishes-and-you-cant-wish-for-more-did-i-find-a-loop-hole/206092/25 "2003-10-08T05:20:35Z")
I might wish to always have access to a fresh bottle of wish-granting genie. I call it “The Gift of _Deus ex Machina_.” Any time I’m in a bind, I’d be able to look around and find a bottle housing a grateful-for-release djinn. ---
**Author:** ![JasonFin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/4af34b/32.png) [@JasonFin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JasonFin)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-only-get-three-wishes-and-you-cant-wish-for-more-did-i-find-a-loop-hole/206092/26 "2003-10-08T05:39:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shade \* > \*\*Anyway, can anyone think of rules that limit three wishes’ power reasonably? Everything I can think of either allows you to become effectively omnipotent, allows the genie to screw you over arbitrarily, or leaves it to the discretion of the genie. \*\* I dunno. You could include the provision that the wishes come with a mystical and unreplenishable power source equal to, say, an octillion (10^27) ergs. That’s about as much power as the USA uses in a year, or the mass-equivalent (by E=mc^2) of around a ton. When the power is gone, no more magical stuff happens, though any physical changes you’ve made to things would remain in effect. This has the side-effect of encouraging prudent use of wishes. If you want to kill germs or divert bullets you can keep going for millennia, but if you want to start turning mountains to gold you’ll burn through it pretty damn fast. ---
**Author:** ![cletus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@cletus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cletus)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-only-get-three-wishes-and-you-cant-wish-for-more-did-i-find-a-loop-hole/206092/27 "2003-10-08T07:46:49Z")
I wish I didn’t need any wishes. ---
**Author:** ![j\_sum1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8baadc/32.png) [@j\_sum1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j_sum1)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-only-get-three-wishes-and-you-cant-wish-for-more-did-i-find-a-loop-hole/206092/28 "2003-10-08T08:21:49Z")
The answer is obvious and well documented. Wish Three _I wish for your freedom_. Now, if you used the first two wishes wisely you have omnipotent friend for life. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-only-get-three-wishes-and-you-cant-wish-for-more-did-i-find-a-loop-hole/206092/29 "2003-10-08T09:07:09Z")
“I wish for another lamp-with-genie.” You can make that your second or third wish. Repeat wish with each new genie, as is neccesary. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-only-get-three-wishes-and-you-cant-wish-for-more-did-i-find-a-loop-hole/206092/30 "2003-10-08T11:49:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Janx \* > \*\*Weeble and Bob’s cat’s breath smells like a “1920’s style death _PIE_”, and all are belong to us, Opal! > \*\* Woohoo! I’m in someone’s sig! I’d wish that I’d encounter another get-three-wishes situation at regular one year intervals for the rest of my life. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-only-get-three-wishes-and-you-cant-wish-for-more-did-i-find-a-loop-hole/206092/31 "2003-10-08T15:18:46Z")
Since the standard statement of the clause generally seems to be “I will grant you three wishes, and you may not wish for more wishes”, you simply use your last wish to ask for _two_ additional wishes. Note that two is not more than three. This buys you one extra wish at a time, at least until the Plot forces you to use two wishes in quick succession. Assuming the genie slaps me in the face for that and says, “No!”… Wish 1) I wish for the ability to work any magic that I’ve heard or read of, except for wish magic. Wish 2) I wish to be immune to any side effects of magic use that I consider harmful including, but not limited to, damnation, rapid aging, and a tendency to wear pointy hats. Wish 3) I wish for all material requirements for my magic to be waived, thus eliminating the need for, say, a 20-foot cube of unobtainium each time I want to cast my “Massage Feet” cantrip. I would use the resulting power for the good of myself and others–mostly others, unless they piss me off. Then they can find their own &@\*# genie. ---
**Author:** ![Svt4Him](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@Svt4Him](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Svt4Him)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-only-get-three-wishes-and-you-cant-wish-for-more-did-i-find-a-loop-hole/206092/32 "2003-10-08T15:39:49Z")
Then one day, with all your power, you’ll be tired, and think to yourself “Wouldn’t it be great if I could just sleep forever?” and poof, we’d never see you again. ---
**Author:** ![Janx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Janx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Janx)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-only-get-three-wishes-and-you-cant-wish-for-more-did-i-find-a-loop-hole/206092/33 "2003-10-08T15:49:50Z")
I have decided to re-think my position on the matter, and after much thought I decided to go with the Saturday Night Live Christmas wish because I think it covers all the pitfalls listed above. [deep reverberating god-like voice] \*\*\* ALL ENCOMPASSING POWER OVER EVERYTHING IN THE UNIVERSE \*\*\* [/deep reverberating god-like voice] Yeah Genie! I got yer wishes - _right here_! \*\* Scuba\_Ben \*\* wrote… (and similar from others) > [@](#): > > YASD: quothz-Tou-Oth-Hum-Neu, died in the Dungeons of Doom on level 21. Died by becoming nonexisten So what the hell happened? Its like I was throwing rocks at an RPGer’s nest and they all just came out of the wood work. Is there some type of D&D/RPG which involves female genies? (Possessed, no doubt, of large grapefruit-like breasts (to paraphrase some of Cecil’s comments on the matter ) and wishes? I never played any. Did it sound like I was playing one? \*\* quothz \*\* wrote… > [@](#): > > I expect you’d overflow the stack and the dungeon would collapse, ending your game. Here lies Janx, he died of stack overflow…sheesh. \*\* Vlad Dracul \*\* wrote… > [@](#): > > I wish for a magical talisman that will grant any and all wishes I thought of something along these lines, not having it implanted though - yuggy. I nixed the Idea because I’d louse the durn thing some how or another. I cant manage to keep a pair of sun glasses, imagine a “magical talisman”. \*\* ResIpsaLoquitor \*\* wrote… > [@](#): > > For my first wish, I wish that the limitation on ‘wishing for more wishes’ were removed This really rubs my nose in it. I thought I was clever, I thought I was smart, I thought I was really on my way to wish loop hole stardom, then comes along someone like \*\* ResIpsaLoquitor \*\* with such a amazingly simple plan, it just makes me want to go back to bed! \*\* Johnny Bravo \*\* wrote… > [@](#): > > _poof_ You just got turned into an invulnerable steel statue of a baby, forced to relive your entire life again and again for eternity. > Sucks to be you. Oh man! I haven’t laughed that hard in _weeks_ (notice how I did not blow my beverage all over the screen/key board). Where did you come up with this stuff **Johnny** , you are obviously one evil bastard. I’m glad you wouldn’t be my genie, I can almost here your cackling, banshee like laughter in the background now. (wouldn’t _that_ just make a damn fine sig line?) \*\* JasonFin \*\* wrote… > [@](#): > > You could include the provision that the wishes come with a mystical and unreplenishable power source equal to, say, an octillion (10^27) ergs. That’s about as much power as the USA uses in a year, or the mass-equivalent (by E=mc^2) of around a ton. See, where are you going to come across wishes like this, (or people who make wishes like this), except the on SDMB. [hijack] \*\* OpalCat \*\* wrote… > [@](#): > > Woohoo! I’m in someone’s sig! I know you don’t know me, even though I visit your web site 30 - 40 times a day, subscribe to your news letter, am on your ya-hool list, mention you in my tag line, do vanity searches of your user name on the SDMB every day and am watching you through my binoculars right this very moment. Will you be my friend. [/by-jack] ---
**Author:** ![clayton\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@clayton\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clayton_e)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-only-get-three-wishes-and-you-cant-wish-for-more-did-i-find-a-loop-hole/206092/34 "2003-10-08T16:05:47Z")
I wish for a cheese sandwich… just because. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-only-get-three-wishes-and-you-cant-wish-for-more-did-i-find-a-loop-hole/206092/35 "2003-10-08T16:21:07Z")
Wish? Did somebody say wish? Mekka lekka hai, mekka heinie ho! Long live Jambi! ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-only-get-three-wishes-and-you-cant-wish-for-more-did-i-find-a-loop-hole/206092/36 "2003-10-08T19:37:19Z")
I think my wishes are rather more modest: 1 - Wish for life-long good health. 2 - Wish to always have enough money to be the 1000th wealthiest person in the world. (You want enough to live very well, but be beneath the radar). 3 - Wish to live to at least 70 Terran years. And never wish for the freedom of the genie: it can be a trap to ensnare the wisher as the new genie. ---
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-only-get-three-wishes-and-you-cant-wish-for-more-did-i-find-a-loop-hole/206092/37 "2003-10-08T20:21:48Z")
Here’s a nice one: I wish that you will suffer eternal, unending, irrervisable, and all-around really nasty torment should you grant my wishes in a manner that either I do not approve leaves me in a condition that I would not approve of before making my wishes. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-only-get-three-wishes-and-you-cant-wish-for-more-did-i-find-a-loop-hole/206092/38 "2003-10-09T01:33:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by robertliguori \* > \*\*Here’s a nice one: I wish that you will suffer eternal, unending, irrervisable, and all-around really nasty torment should you grant my wishes in a manner that either I do not approve leaves me in a condition that I would not approve of before making my wishes. \*\* A genie would have no problem agreeing to that. What do you think his forced servitude is? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Super\_Gnat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Super\_Gnat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Super_Gnat)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-only-get-three-wishes-and-you-cant-wish-for-more-did-i-find-a-loop-hole/206092/39 "2003-10-09T02:10:45Z")
If I ever did find a genie, all of my wishes would be contracts, effective upon signing, that had been vetted by several lawyers and DMs for loopholes. For example: Upon the signing of this contract I will hereby officially wish for a bank account at [Bank] containing 5 million US dollars. The conditions are as follows: a. The money in the account will be accessible to me. I and only I will know the password to the account, and I will be able to withdraw or deposit money freely. b. The money will be my money. The 5 million dollars will be the amount after any necessary taxes. The money will not have been taken from any other person. x\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ I expect someone to come and poke holes in this, since it has not in fact been vetted by several people; indeed, I whipped it up on the spot. It’s sort of sad that I’ve thought this through before. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-only-get-three-wishes-and-you-cant-wish-for-more-did-i-find-a-loop-hole/206092/40 "2003-10-09T02:24:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Janx \* > \*\* I know you don’t know me, even though I visit your web site 30 - 40 times a day, subscribe to your news letter, am on your ya-hool list, mention you in my tag line, do vanity searches of your user name on the SDMB every day and am watching you through my binoculars right this very moment. > > Will you be my friend. > > [/by-jack] \*\* :eek: _pulls towel around tighter_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-only-get-three-wishes-and-you-cant-wish-for-more-did-i-find-a-loop-hole/206092.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-only-get-three-wishes-and-you-cant-wish-for-more-did-i-find-a-loop-hole/206092.md?page=3)