# You Owe It To Yourself To Be Watching Most Of The Onion Videos **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 15, 2010, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-owe-it-to-yourself-to-be-watching-most-of-the-onion-videos/529132 "2010-02-15T23:25:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Huerta88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/82dd89/32.png) [@Huerta88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Huerta88)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-owe-it-to-yourself-to-be-watching-most-of-the-onion-videos/529132/21 "2010-02-17T21:16:22Z")
> [@Waenara](#): > > [Crime Reporter: Man Had Sex With Wife Thousands of Times Before Killing Her](http://www.theonion.com/content/video/crime_reporter_man_had_sex_with) Reporter: “Did you ever hear any noises from the house?” Neighbor: “Well, sometimes I’d hear the radio.” [cut to reporter nodding sagely, with voiceover]: To cover up the screaming. ---
**Author:** ![CaveMike](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cavemike/32/16379_2.png) [@CaveMike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaveMike)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2010, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-owe-it-to-yourself-to-be-watching-most-of-the-onion-videos/529132/22 "2010-02-18T17:44:16Z")
> [@Huerta88](#): > > Reporter: “Did you ever hear any noises from the house?” > Neighbor: “Well, sometimes I’d hear the radio.” > [cut to reporter nodding sagely, with voiceover]: To cover up the screaming. It’s a great clip. Is it the same reporter that linked the warehouse fire to a sex crime? And of course anything with Biden is pure Au. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2010, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-owe-it-to-yourself-to-be-watching-most-of-the-onion-videos/529132/23 "2010-02-18T17:58:31Z")
Hard to top these: [Gymnast Shawn Johnson Put To Sleep After Breaking Leg](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMsLg4jqlJw) [Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I2OObOM3R_U) [Software Indicates Missing Child Likely A Prostitute By Now](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjp5jxzbDWg) ---
**Author:** ![Sehmket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Sehmket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sehmket)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2010, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-owe-it-to-yourself-to-be-watching-most-of-the-onion-videos/529132/24 "2010-02-18T18:11:10Z")
I’m terrible with HTML, so I’ll post my fav this way: > **[The Onion | America's Finest News Source.](https://www.theonion.com/)** > > The Onion brings you all of the latest news, stories, photos, videos and more from America's finest news source. It’s become quite the catchphrase in our group of friends, as in, “Why are you adding so much chili powder to the nacho dip? You’re ruining it.” “If we ruin a nacho dip, we will build a NEW nacho dip.” ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2010, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-owe-it-to-yourself-to-be-watching-most-of-the-onion-videos/529132/25 "2010-02-19T20:59:44Z")
Brand new clip: [Report: Baby Skull Jewelry May Be Linked To Violence](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKccr8g1xCU) ---
**Author:** ![CrimeThink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90db22/32.png) [@CrimeThink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrimeThink)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2010, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-owe-it-to-yourself-to-be-watching-most-of-the-onion-videos/529132/26 "2010-02-19T21:12:46Z")
I especially love the black lady yelling absurd comments on the fake panelist discussion segment’s. Example from one of my favorites: [http://www.theonion.com/content/video/in\_the\_know\_should\_the\_government](http://www.theonion.com/content/video/in_the_know_should_the_government) ---
**Author:** ![Quercus\_alba](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quercus_alba/32/4061_2.png) [@Quercus\_alba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus_alba)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2010, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-owe-it-to-yourself-to-be-watching-most-of-the-onion-videos/529132/27 "2010-02-20T03:52:54Z")
[Despondex](http://www.theonion.com/content/video/fda_approves_depressant_drug_for) ---
**Author:** ![CaveMike](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cavemike/32/16379_2.png) [@CaveMike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaveMike)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2010, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-owe-it-to-yourself-to-be-watching-most-of-the-onion-videos/529132/28 "2010-02-20T04:20:18Z")
“If you love America, you throw money in its hole.” ---
**Author:** ![Waenara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@Waenara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waenara)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2010, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-owe-it-to-yourself-to-be-watching-most-of-the-onion-videos/529132/29 "2010-02-20T06:47:18Z")
> [@CrimeThink](#): > > I especially love the black lady yelling absurd comments on the fake panelist discussion segment’s. [Should We Be Doing More To Reduce The Graphic Violence In Our Dreams?](http://www.theonion.com/content/video/should_we_be_doing_more_to_reduce) BL = black lady OC = other commentator OC: Statistics show that dream inspired violence _is_ on the rise. BL: My dreams are _so_ violent, I stopped sleeping _months_ ago. OC: When was the last time you actually slept? BL: Get those motherfucking spiders off of me!! [commentators gradually look away] [hilarity continues further on in the video] ---
**Author:** ![Terraplane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@Terraplane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terraplane)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2010, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-owe-it-to-yourself-to-be-watching-most-of-the-onion-videos/529132/30 "2010-02-20T08:18:23Z")
This one is by far my favorite. So many others are good, but this is just perfect in every possible way. [Franz Kafka International.](http://www.theonion.com/content/video/pragues_franz_kafka_international) ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2010, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-owe-it-to-yourself-to-be-watching-most-of-the-onion-videos/529132/31 "2010-02-20T17:48:52Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > This just in: > > [New Law Would Ban Marriages Between People Who Don’t Love Each Other](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVeGUSGkhfw) I just watched that and thought it was a) fucking hilarious and b) such a perfect parody. Topped off brilliantly by “Up next, Shia Leboeuf has just signed a deal with Paramount to ruin another one of your childhood memories”. ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-owe-it-to-yourself-to-be-watching-most-of-the-onion-videos/529132/32 "2010-02-20T17:56:28Z")
And just watched [Victim in fatal car accident tragically not Glenn Beck](http://www.theonion.com/content/video/victim_in_fatal_car_accident). Classic. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2010, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-owe-it-to-yourself-to-be-watching-most-of-the-onion-videos/529132/33 "2010-02-20T18:09:58Z")
A must-see 7:11 appetite whetter: [Cannucciari Onion News Network Reel](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEyoprQZlrk) More like 5 minutes. last two are blank. ---
**Author:** ![Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2010, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-owe-it-to-yourself-to-be-watching-most-of-the-onion-videos/529132/34 "2010-02-20T18:57:25Z")
> [@Illuminatiprimus](#): > > And just watched [Victim in fatal car accident tragically not Glenn Beck](http://www.theonion.com/content/video/victim_in_fatal_car_accident). Classic. Hahaha. ---
**Author:** ![Kyrie\_Eleison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kyrie_eleison/32/7682_2.png) [@Kyrie\_Eleison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyrie_Eleison)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2010, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-owe-it-to-yourself-to-be-watching-most-of-the-onion-videos/529132/35 "2010-02-20T19:06:27Z")
Personal favorite: [Ninja Parade](http://www.theonion.com/content/video/ninja_parade_slips_through_town) ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-owe-it-to-yourself-to-be-watching-most-of-the-onion-videos/529132/36 "2010-03-02T22:23:51Z")
Di-di-di-dip… **Breaking News** [Obama Caught Lip-Syncing Speech](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCyPAaubENE&feature=sub) ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2010, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-owe-it-to-yourself-to-be-watching-most-of-the-onion-videos/529132/37 "2010-03-14T16:38:06Z")
One that’s bound to be ranked among the top 10: [Boys Tragic Death Could Have Happened To Any Family With 20-Foot Pet Python](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=he6O9nZ3CZs&feature=sub) ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2010, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-owe-it-to-yourself-to-be-watching-most-of-the-onion-videos/529132/38 "2010-03-14T20:45:21Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > One that’s bound to be ranked among the top 10: [Boys Tragic Death Could Have Happened To Any Family With 20-Foot Pet Python](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=he6O9nZ3CZs&feature=sub) “I just think what if I had checked on them before I went out shopping and to the movies”. :D:D:D ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2010, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-owe-it-to-yourself-to-be-watching-most-of-the-onion-videos/529132/39 "2010-03-28T12:52:35Z")
[Newsroom / Stouffers To Include Suicide Prevention Tips On Single Serve Microwavable Meals](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0f6N0ypfJoU) Gotta be in the Top 10 anyway. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2010, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-owe-it-to-yourself-to-be-watching-most-of-the-onion-videos/529132/40 "2010-03-28T13:42:58Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > [Still my favorite.](http://www.theonion.com/content/video/sony_releases_new_stupid_piece_of) Absolutely. For those of you who need a bit more content, the title is “Sony Releases New Peice Of Shit That Doesn’t Fucking Work.” Anyone who has ever bought a peice of AV equipment will understand. Incidentally, did the producers of the movie “Greenberg” spent their entire budget on buying ads from the Onion thereby leaving nothing for anyone to edit a decent trailer? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-owe-it-to-yourself-to-be-watching-most-of-the-onion-videos/529132.md?page=1)