# You run head long into a Wolverine. What do you do? Could you take him/her? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 24, 2005, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-run-head-long-into-a-wolverine-what-do-you-do-could-you-take-him-her/318467 "2005-08-24T18:46:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![flamingbananas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f4b2a3/32.png) [@flamingbananas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flamingbananas)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-run-head-long-into-a-wolverine-what-do-you-do-could-you-take-him-her/318467/21 "2005-08-24T21:42:17Z")
If they’re anything like the Wolfos in The Legend of Zelda: Orcarina of Time, some well used sword play will take em down in a jiffy. If you don’t have the Master Sword, however, you’re out of luck. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-run-head-long-into-a-wolverine-what-do-you-do-could-you-take-him-her/318467/22 "2005-08-24T21:44:30Z")
Serious answer: Tote some [BEAR SPRAY](http://www.udap.com/). ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-run-head-long-into-a-wolverine-what-do-you-do-could-you-take-him-her/318467/23 "2005-08-24T21:45:38Z")
my friend Chad’s-all-purpose-crisis-answer works too: Pass out. Hope for the best. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-run-head-long-into-a-wolverine-what-do-you-do-could-you-take-him-her/318467/24 "2005-08-24T21:47:18Z")
> [@Finagle](#): > > Dude, you willingly carry an extra 11 pounds of weight with you when you go hiking? That’s pretty hardcore. A softball bat only weighs 30 ounces or so, and anything I couldn’t fight off with one of those is going to have me for lunch no matter what. Yep, I sure do. I’ve used it several times to fend off boars, snakes, etc. It’s in my Blazer all the time, ready to go. ---
**Author:** ![DougC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@DougC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DougC)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-run-head-long-into-a-wolverine-what-do-you-do-could-you-take-him-her/318467/25 "2005-08-24T22:21:39Z")
- - - Wolverines will steal food from _bears_. I’d guess a pit bull in that fight would get taken to pieces pretty quick. … - I have heard that Wolverines are generally very reclusive, but if you run into a momma with babies, all bets are off. What season do females deliver young? ~ ---
**Author:** ![Ludy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Ludy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludy)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-run-head-long-into-a-wolverine-what-do-you-do-could-you-take-him-her/318467/26 "2005-08-24T22:35:27Z")
IMHO dont worry about the wolverines, chances are good you wont see them. Worry about the elk, they are everywhere, big, and mean. when I was living in Banff it was very common for a tourist to think thet elk are just like deer and dont mind if you get close for a picture. Them things are pissy, and I wouldnt want to see their antlers up close and personal. It was not uncommon to hear about an elk chasing a person down main street. Now if they are that close in town limits, you can see em that close on the trails too. Although whenever I see an elk I think of how a friend of mine watched from his front window and elk come along and eat up a string of his christmas lights off a tree in the front yard. Yes they were on at the time, and I dont want to think about how that felt on the way out. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Ludy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Ludy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludy)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-run-head-long-into-a-wolverine-what-do-you-do-could-you-take-him-her/318467/27 "2005-08-24T22:36:39Z")
It makes me smile, I like to think it was the same one that ate my jack-o-lanturn at halloween. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2005, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-run-head-long-into-a-wolverine-what-do-you-do-could-you-take-him-her/318467/28 "2005-08-25T01:31:28Z")
I’ve seen a pair in the wilderness from a highly respectful distance of 400-500 yards, in New Mexico’s Pecos Wilderness (where they officially aren’t supposed to be, but others have seen them there too), running over and in and around the rocks of a mountain rockfall on the face (north? east? don’t recall) of the Truchas Peaks. From that distance they seem like playful critters, bounding and pouncing. Looked like they had some small game cornered in the rocks and were periodically taking a leap at it or them. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2005, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-run-head-long-into-a-wolverine-what-do-you-do-could-you-take-him-her/318467/29 "2005-08-25T01:40:55Z")
Jennifer Grey - yes. Patrick Swayze - probably not. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![KlondikeGeoff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3e96dc/32.png) [@KlondikeGeoff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KlondikeGeoff)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2005, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-run-head-long-into-a-wolverine-what-do-you-do-could-you-take-him-her/318467/30 "2005-08-25T01:42:18Z")
Enough good answers from other posters to indicate to you that these are one, mean animal. Pound for pound, about the toughest, nastiest critter around. Don’t mess with 'em! One interesting side fact: their fur is the only type that will not frost up when you breath on it, hence is popular to trim parka hoods. When I was mushing dog teams out of Fairbanks back in '46-'47, had a beautiful pair of wolverine mittens, which my daughter now has to this day. When it got really cold (-60 or so F.), just burying my face in these mitts warmed it up nicely. I always said a prayer for the souls of the guys who provided that wonderful fur. Klondike ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2005, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-run-head-long-into-a-wolverine-what-do-you-do-could-you-take-him-her/318467/31 "2005-08-25T02:26:16Z")
> [@Snowboarder Bo](#): > > Yep, I sure do. I’ve used it several times to fend off boars, snakes, etc. It’s in my Blazer all the time, ready to go. OK, if you say that’s what it weighs, I believe you. Just that I tried holding a 10 lb dumbell like it was a walking stick and I personally doubt that I could walk around the block carrying it like that. Might build strong muscles, but I’ll stick with my aluminum hiking stick. ---
**Author:** ![Hunter\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/50afbb/32.png) [@Hunter\_Hawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hunter_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2005, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-run-head-long-into-a-wolverine-what-do-you-do-could-you-take-him-her/318467/32 "2005-08-25T03:09:39Z")
I’ll second the comment that you should be concerned about the elk. I believe their mating season is in the fall, which makes them more aggressive. The last time I was up in Banff for a conference, it was that time of year, and I ended up getting chased down the street for a ways by an irritated elk. Re if you run into a wolverine that wants to hurt you: You’re fucked. Remember that these things are basically giant weasels, and they’re _really_ strong. I knew people who raised mink, and they said that when a mink got pissed at them, it was all one of them could do to hold the thing down–and bear in mind that these were big, strapping farm boys. Picture an animal that has about the same size-to-strength ratio, but scale it up by a factor of twenty. Another example from [here](http://web.idirect.com/~hland/sh/an011.htm): > [@](#): > > AS a proof of their amazing strength, there was one at Churchill some years since, that overset the greatest part of a large pile of wood (containing a whole Winter’s firing, that measured upwards of seventy yards round) to get at some provisions that had been hid there by the Company’s servants, when going to the Factory to spend the Christmas holidays. This animal had been lurking about in the neighbourhood of their tent for some weeks, and had committed many depredations on the game caught in their traps; but the Wolverine was too cunning to take a trap himself. The people knowing the mischievous disposition of those animals, took (as they thought) the most effectual method to secure their provisions, and accordingly placed them on top of the wood-pile, little thinking that the Wolverine would find them out; but to their great surprise, when they returned to their tent, they found the pile of wood in the state already mentioned, though some of the trees that composed it were as much as two men could carry. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2005, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-run-head-long-into-a-wolverine-what-do-you-do-could-you-take-him-her/318467/33 "2005-08-25T03:19:01Z")
> [@Finagle](#): > > OK, if you say that’s what it weighs, I believe you. Just that I tried holding a 10 lb dumbell like it was a walking stick and I personally doubt that I could walk around the block carrying it like that. Might build strong muscles, but I’ll stick with my aluminum hiking stick. I just weighed it. It’s about 6 pounds. It’s 6 feet 6 1/2 inches tall, about a 3" diameter at the base and about 4 1/2" diameter at 6 feet up. Keep in mind I’m 6’ 4", 200#. I work out every day, lifting weights, running, cycling. It’s really nothing to heft this sucker all day long, even when I carry a 70 pound pack, which is my norm for back country trips. I’m frequently alone, so I have to carry all my own gear & food. I also carry a big knife and if appropriate, a machete. (If I take the machete, I don’t take the stick tho.) I was a bit off on the weight initially, I admit. But I know what my pack weighs because I weigh myself before and after every trip. First me, then me with pack. When I’m done I weigh me with pack, then just me. Started doing it years ago to check my calorie consumption and make sure I was eating enough on the trail. And yeah, I drill holes in everything I can. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2005, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-run-head-long-into-a-wolverine-what-do-you-do-could-you-take-him-her/318467/34 "2005-08-25T03:30:39Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Jennifer Grey - yes. Patrick Swayze - probably not. 😃 Jennifer Grey AND Lea Thompson wrestling in the mud for the right to be my love puppet! (I loved _Red Dawn_.) ---
**Author:** ![xbuckeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9e8a1a/32.png) [@xbuckeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xbuckeye)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2005, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-run-head-long-into-a-wolverine-what-do-you-do-could-you-take-him-her/318467/35 "2005-08-25T11:56:13Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > I would take off my Ohio State shirt and run for my life… I’ve always heard that if you pay them for the pizza delivery, they’ll leave you alone. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2005, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-run-head-long-into-a-wolverine-what-do-you-do-could-you-take-him-her/318467/36 "2005-08-25T13:26:36Z")
A couple of days after I had to scare that wolverine off with a shotgun blast, we came across another, this time from the vantage of our helicopter. The previous one had been dark coated and probably weighed somewhere around 60 to 70 lbs (a very uneducated guess). This one had an almost blonde coat and was decidedly bigger, probably somewher in the neighborhood of 80 lbs. Thing was the gnarly beast was trying to take down a moose calf, much to the objection of the moose’s mother. We circled for awhile and watched the drama unfold, the wolverine circling around and trying to get to the calf while the mother tried to stay between them and stomp or antler the menace, all of them seemingly oblivious to our presence. I’ll tell you what… like elk, moose are freakin’ huge and they could kill a human instantly. Any animal willing to take on a pissed off momma moose is one bad assed creature that I want absolutely nothing to do with. Thank goodness they’re not known to normally be agressive toward us human folk. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2005, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-run-head-long-into-a-wolverine-what-do-you-do-could-you-take-him-her/318467/37 "2005-08-25T13:40:28Z")
Let me clarify that… the mother would make gestures towards the wolverine with a lowered head. I don’t remember her actually having a rack, it was more that she was swiping at him with her head instead of actually trying to impale him, that and stomp and kick. I’ve often wondered what the outcome was as that wolverine seemed awfully persistent. ---
**Author:** ![Grelby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a5b964/32.png) [@Grelby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grelby)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2005, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-run-head-long-into-a-wolverine-what-do-you-do-could-you-take-him-her/318467/38 "2005-08-25T14:06:24Z")
> [@Phlosphr](#): > > \slightly sexually dimorphic for a female.\ :dubious: Meaning that they are bigger or smaller? My advice: never tangle with anything bigger than a squirrel unless you have a large and heavy weapon near to hand. And if it’s a black squirrel, don’t fuck with it! Those bastards are _mean_. ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2005, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-run-head-long-into-a-wolverine-what-do-you-do-could-you-take-him-her/318467/39 "2005-08-25T14:12:01Z")
So how would a wolverine stack up against a badger? ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2005, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-run-head-long-into-a-wolverine-what-do-you-do-could-you-take-him-her/318467/40 "2005-08-25T14:22:56Z")
> [@picker](#): > > So how would a wolverine stack up against a badger? A giant wooden badger? Like I said earlier, I never heard of wolverines in Banff, but it seems that they are in the park. [Woverines in Banff](http://www.pc.gc.ca/pn-np/ab/banff/natcul/natcul15_E.asp), however, they are few in numbers and well spread out. I would venture to guess that the more popular hiking area are going to be safe. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-run-head-long-into-a-wolverine-what-do-you-do-could-you-take-him-her/318467.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-run-head-long-into-a-wolverine-what-do-you-do-could-you-take-him-her/318467.md?page=3)