# You say vagina, I say vu-vulva **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 4, 2008, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-vagina-i-say-vu-vulva/475634 "2008-12-04T04:39:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2008, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-vagina-i-say-vu-vulva/475634/81 "2008-12-04T21:27:14Z")
> [@Monstera\_deliciosa](#): > > And in Bette Midler’s Mermaid stage routine, part of the lyrics were: > > “The question before us, > Is where the hell is her clitoris?” Another use of the “cli-TOR-is” pronunciation in song is the Stranglers’ “Peaches” (album version–the single substitutes the word “bikini,” which actually makes much more sense in context). Meanwhile, I always wondered how they got away with [this](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0029864/) back in 1938. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2008, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-vagina-i-say-vu-vulva/475634/82 "2008-12-04T21:35:18Z")
> [@DaphneBlack](#): > > clitorides > > cli-TOR-uh-deez Aw darn. I was hoping it was like a carnival attraction: clit-O-rides! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/858c86/32.png) [@Mame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mame)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2008, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-vagina-i-say-vu-vulva/475634/83 "2008-12-04T22:13:46Z")
Can I just say I have NEVER understood “vagina” to mean external crotch area? It sure isn’t used that way here. Yanno, when the US press was talking about Britney flashing her vagina, I couldn’t understand how she had managed to get her legs that far apart when getting out of a car!! Could we go back to fighting ignorance, not readjusting the English language to support ignorance? And just to play nice, the slang term here for the pubic area is [“Map of Tassie”](http://images.google.com.au/images?client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-GB:official&channel=s&hl=en&q=map+of+tassie&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&resnum=1&ct=title)🙂 ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2008, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-vagina-i-say-vu-vulva/475634/84 "2008-12-04T22:18:20Z")
> [@Enola\_Gay](#): > > I’m starting to think the OP is my mother. She was stickler for proper anatomical terminology. While everyone else’s mom had a baby in her tummy…my mom had a baby in her **uterus**. And other little girls always went tinkle or peepee, while at my house we\*\* urinated\*\*. All the other kids had a belly button. Not me, I had an **umbilicus**. I’m still trying to block out this painful aspect of my childhood… But did you guys have a “water heater” or maybe even a “hot water tank”? Because if you had a “hot water heater” you can now finally nail her persnikity ass ! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2008, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-vagina-i-say-vu-vulva/475634/85 "2008-12-04T22:20:07Z")
> [@5-4-Fighting](#): > > Are you saying you’d trample someone just to get to the goods? > > I am so going to hell. Brings the phrase cock blocking to a whole nother (retail) level! And we won’t even bring up the wholesale scenario 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![CircleofWillis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/54ee81/32.png) [@CircleofWillis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CircleofWillis)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2008, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-vagina-i-say-vu-vulva/475634/86 "2008-12-04T23:20:56Z")
> [@Ichini\_Sanshigo](#): > > The correct plural is “clitorpods”. 😉 I always preferred cliterati… ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2008, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-vagina-i-say-vu-vulva/475634/87 "2008-12-04T23:28:38Z")
That sounds more like a cult of people who are associated with the clitoris ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2008, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-vagina-i-say-vu-vulva/475634/88 "2008-12-05T00:35:32Z")
> [@Enola\_Gay](#): > > I’m starting to think the OP is my mother. She was stickler for proper anatomical terminology. While everyone else’s mom had a baby in her tummy…my mom had a baby in her **uterus**. And other little girls always went tinkle or peepee, while at my house we\*\* urinated\*\*. All the other kids had a belly button. Not me, I had an **umbilicus**. I’m still trying to block out this painful aspect of my childhood… See, the uterus thing I can see, because you’re teaching a kid a medical term early on, and clearing up any confusion about why the baby is in the same place as your salad ends up. Not that you would have become one of them, but this is probably the reason we have people on the internet asking if they can get pragnat from giving a blowjob. But the others? They’re just accepted slang. I personally don’t like “peepee” or “tinkle,” and would have encouraged “pee,” but each to his own. Did she allow any slang, or even euphemisms? Could you say that Uncle Charlie passed on, or did you have to say he achieved a state of mortem (mortus?) due to his heart stopping and his brain not receiving the oxygen necessary from his blood? There’s correct, and then there’s pedantic. Part of fitting into society is learning the things that are socially acceptable. If you want to defy those later it’s one thing, but having a kid do things that would actively separate her from her peers seems needlessly cruel. That being said, one of my teachers in HS was married to a doctor, and their son didn’t poo, he went BM (bowel movement-- never mind that she’s teaching medical terminology at the expense of grammar). I thought this was adorable, but I’d be willing to bet that when he hit kindergarten, he started making poop jokes with the rest of the kids. > [@Chicken\_Fingers](#): > > I cringe when people refer to the female genitals as the vagina. It’s just one part of the whole shebang. You don’t refer to your mouth as your tongue or your penis as your urethra. No, but I’d be willing to bet you refer to the epididymis, vas deferens, efferent ductules, and scrotum (note: I had to look up 2/4 of these names) as balls (or if you want to be more clinical about it, testes). > [@](#): > > It seems fairly recent (last ten or twenty years?) that people started using vagina as the general term. I have no idea when people started calling the terms I listed above “balls.” But the point is that it’s pretty well accepted at this point, and unless you’re in a setting where it’s important to make the distinction I don’t see why the accepted slang shouldn’t be passable. > [@](#): > > I teach my kids to say vulva to refer to the external girly bits. They also learn the other basic part names early on. And I think that’s admirable. Honestly. People should know the correct terminology for and definitions of what they’re saying. I for one actually had the terms reversed before seeing this thread, and thought that the vulva was inside and the vagina the outer part. Ignorance fought. And it’s heaps better than having them only use slang or euphemisms (depending on the age, of course) for it (“Mom, I just don’t feel fresh ‘down there,’” or having your 5-yr-old say"My pussy hurts"). However, recognize that everyone engages in certain slang to fit in with societal convention. Also recognize that language is dynamic. If you refuse to use slang to refer to certain things, why is it acceptable in other cases (and if you use no slang, that’s a whole 'nother can of worms)? > [@Wile\_E](#): > > I usually use the word vulva, especially at work but then the client corrects me and says vagina, but I continue to call it the vulva. They usually relent when the doctor comes in and refers to it as a vulva but they probably still go tell their friends that the vet tech doesn’t know the proper name for their dog’s hoo-ha. Now this I can get behind. It’s a medical setting, you’re talking about one specific thing and using the clinical terminology for it. Good for you for fighting ignorance, even if the clods probably resent you when the MD uses the correct term for it. > [@](#): > > Vulva sounds too much like Volvo or Uvula and you don’t want to confuse a vulva with a car or the thing that hangs down in the back of your throat. But if you can’t separate uvula from vulva, how will you know when you score a goal during tonsil hockey? ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2008, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-vagina-i-say-vu-vulva/475634/89 "2008-12-05T03:38:17Z")
Well, just after he was potty-trained, my son informed me that “girls have a flat penis.” Flat penis. Works for me! 😉 > [@Chicken\_Fingers](#): > > It seems fairly recent (last ten or twenty years?) that people started using vagina as the general term. Nope. I’m 37, and we were definitely taught that the name for the area is “vagina.” > [@WhyNot](#): > > No, more like, “My stomach hurts,” while clutching the area of the abdomen near the intestines. “Stomach” has come to mean “abdomen”, not just “the pouch that churns the bolus and adds acid.” Vagina’s not quite slang, it just means one thing to laypeople and a different thing to anatomists. Interestingly, in the Victorian era, “stomach” had a much broader meaning. It wasn’t polite for ladies to refer to their own body parts, even when consulting a doctor. They frequently referred to everything from their shoulders to their knees as their stomach. “Stomach problems” could be anything from chest pains to a case of the crabs. This made medical diagnosis very difficult, but there wasn’t a whole lot that doctors could do for you in those days anyway. And for what it’s worth, if you want to make it clear that you are talking about the vagina itself rather than the whole area, you can just say “vaginal canal.” ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2008, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-vagina-i-say-vu-vulva/475634/90 "2008-12-05T03:42:45Z")
At least kids are getting taught something. My dad (a religious whackjob) and his wife decided not to teach their other kids (they got married when I was 21 and had five more kids together) _any_ name for their genitals. They don’t say “butt” or “fart” in their house either. It’s “bottom” and “flitter” as the other two are Bad Words. Anyway, because those are Bad Body Parts that No Child Needs to Know About they decided just to ignore them and let the kids come up with their own terms for them if they ever needed to refer to it. The kids ended up calling it their “pottier” which is about the most fucking retarded thing I’ve ever heard. Those kids aren’t going to have _aaaaaany_ issues when they grow up. Of course not. ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2008, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-vagina-i-say-vu-vulva/475634/91 "2008-12-05T04:29:06Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > At least kids are getting taught something. My dad (a religious whackjob) and his wife decided not to teach their other kids (they got married when I was 21 and had five more kids together) _any_ name for their genitals. They don’t say “butt” or “fart” in their house either. It’s “bottom” and “flitter” as the other two are Bad Words. Anyway, because those are Bad Body Parts that No Child Needs to Know About they decided just to ignore them and let the kids come up with their own terms for them if they ever needed to refer to it. The kids ended up calling it their “pottier” which is about the most fucking retarded thing I’ve ever heard. > > Those kids aren’t going to have _aaaaaany_ issues when they grow up. Of course not. Bookstore Guy: Well, we have _Everybody Poops_. Peter Griffin: See, we’re Catholic. Bookstore Guy: Oh, you want You’re a _Naughty Baby and that’s Concentrated Evil Coming Out of You_. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2008, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-vagina-i-say-vu-vulva/475634/92 "2008-12-05T04:48:52Z")
exactly. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2008, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-vagina-i-say-vu-vulva/475634/93 "2008-12-05T04:48:56Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > That sounds more like a cult of people who are associated with the clitoris Interestingly enough my friend’s brewpub hosted the local lesbian association this evening. Not that I’m saying that they should change their group’s name to the Cliterati, but… there’s at least a bowling team name in there somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2008, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-vagina-i-say-vu-vulva/475634/94 "2008-12-05T05:05:12Z")
“Excuse me, but do you happen to sell such a thing as a ‘vag badger’?” ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2008, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-vagina-i-say-vu-vulva/475634/95 "2008-12-05T05:31:35Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > Growing up, I was taught to call it “The Chasm Of Infinite Sorrow”. Is that weird? Not only weird, but truly sad. Did you get over that hurdle to a decent relationship? ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2008, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-vagina-i-say-vu-vulva/475634/96 "2008-12-05T09:36:11Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > Is this the proper plural? I’d have expected something more fun like “clitorii”. I prefer “clitorides” myself, but “clitorises” is apparently acceptable to some people. “Vagina” is also a botanical term, really means “sheath-like structure,” & probably was not meant as a term for the whole by the anatomists. But there’s sort of a second (folk?) etymology going on, wherein the male has a “gladius” & the female a “vagina.” In that both reductive & euphemistic way of thinking, it seems to make sense. But it’s like Freud thinking the vagina should become the seat of orgasm–missing what is for what you think it should be. As for not wanting to use a nasty word, I think “box” or “cooch” might work better than resorting to the Latin. Box is just box. Cooch isn’t a descriptive metaphor (Og those are annoying) nor a common cussword–& it’s uncommon enough to just sound quaint to most people. ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2008, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-vagina-i-say-vu-vulva/475634/97 "2008-12-05T09:58:31Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > As for not wanting to use a nasty word, I think “box” or “cooch” might work better than resorting to the Latin. Box is just box. Cooch isn’t a descriptive metaphor (Og those are annoying) nor a common cussword–& it’s uncommon enough to just sound quaint to most people. Always been partial to “chach” myself. ---
**Author:** ![chorpler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chorpler/32/2888_2.png) [@chorpler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chorpler)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2008, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-vagina-i-say-vu-vulva/475634/98 "2008-12-05T12:45:29Z")
> [@Monstera\_deliciosa](#): > > Here’s a brief synopsis of the episode. Jerry can’t remember the name of the woman he has just begun dating. In order to trick her into telling him her name, he tells her about being teased as a child for being named “Jerome,” and asks her if she was ever teased about her name. She says yes, because her name rhymes with a female body part, but doesn’t actually say her name, or the body part. The next day Jerry and his friends try to come up with the name, and think up all sorts of silly things including “Mulva.” > > Jerry and the woman have another date, during which she realizes he doesn’t remember her name. Insulted, she storms out, and Jerry has a :smack: moment when he finally remembers her name is Dolores. As I said in my previous post “clitoris” is implied. The way I remember it, he never KNEW her name. He didn’t remember that it was Dolores, he just figured it out. She showed up again in another episode, and they kept calling her Dolores repeatedly to her face while referring to her as Mulva when she wasn’t around. ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2008, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-vagina-i-say-vu-vulva/475634/99 "2008-12-05T13:05:37Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > Well, just after he was potty-trained, my son informed me that “girls have a flat penis.” Flat penis. Works for me! 😉 My niece once referred to it as her “front butt.” My sister was amused, but choked back the giggles and told her that part wasn’t her butt. DN then protested, “But it’s got little cheeks!” Now, how can you argue with that? ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2008, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-vagina-i-say-vu-vulva/475634/100 "2008-12-05T13:45:34Z")
My daughter used to call it her “buttgina”. I guess she was wrong in more ways than one. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-vagina-i-say-vu-vulva/475634.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-vagina-i-say-vu-vulva/475634.md?page=6)