# You say you are a christian - I say you nead to grow up **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 13, 2002, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-you-are-a-christian-i-say-you-nead-to-grow-up/97955 "2002-03-13T00:44:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2012, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-you-are-a-christian-i-say-you-nead-to-grow-up/97955/141 "2012-03-14T23:47:17Z")
I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there have only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?" ``` Og replied, "The times when you have seen only one set of footprints, is when Og smashed you." ``` ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2012, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-you-are-a-christian-i-say-you-nead-to-grow-up/97955/142 "2012-03-14T23:50:38Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > In the Boris Karloff “The Mummy” he takes off his bandages and, from that point, looks and acts pretty much like a normal (if more than slightly creepy) guy… > > Maybe all those ointments that Joseph of Arimathea paid for were really exotic and mystical unguents that began an external mummification process! And, who knows, late at night, before rolling the stone in place to seal the tomb, some of the workmen lingered and removed the bodily organs. Did anyone, on that first Easter morning, search the cave for canopic jars? > > Now, I’m not saying this is the way it has to be… But can anyone prove it isn’t true? Because, y’know, by the rules of this thread, they have to! Hmm. Any known, even reputed, cases of mummification occurring within about 36 hours, tops? And your workmen have to start after sundown on Good Friday, by which time it’s already the Sabbath and it should be a huge no-no to be touching a dead body. Then in Luke 24:43 Jesus is alleged to have eaten broiled fish, for which he presumably needs at least some of his internal organs to be intact and functioning. Sorry, I know we need to be open-minded here but your theory has a few issues. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-you-are-a-christian-i-say-you-nead-to-grow-up/97955/143 "2012-03-15T00:17:05Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Hmm. Any known, even reputed, cases of mummification occurring within about 36 hours, tops? And your workmen have to start after sundown on Good Friday, by which time it’s already the Sabbath and it should be a huge no-no to be touching a dead body. Then in Luke 24:43 Jesus is alleged to have eaten broiled fish, for which he presumably needs at least some of his internal organs to be intact and functioning. Sorry, I know we need to be open-minded here but your theory has a few issues. 😃 Looks like it takes a food dehydrator somewhere on the order of three days to make jerky. Maybe the tomb formed some sort of natural jerky maker. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-you-are-a-christian-i-say-you-nead-to-grow-up/97955/144 "2012-03-15T01:08:09Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > No, that was the En Roy Emit. > (I’ll wait) Nem, brother. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-you-are-a-christian-i-say-you-nead-to-grow-up/97955/145 "2012-03-15T01:16:29Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > . . . by which time it’s already the Sabbath and it should be a huge no-no to be touching a dead body. . . . Well, yeah, for Jews. But these are men of a new faith, resurrectionists with a concrete plan, men willing to get their hands dirty to provide their Lord with eternal life… > [@](#): > > Then in Luke 24:43 Jesus is alleged to have eaten broiled fish, for which he presumably needs at least some of his internal organs to be intact and functioning. Sorry, I know we need to be open-minded here but your theory has a few issues. 😃 Um… Er… Ooh! I gottit! They were fish summoned, as were the fishes and loaves at Cana, via miraculous multiplication, and thus, when eaten, just as mysteriously return to the stuff of their origin. You don’t digest miraculous fish, any more than you digest the Body of Christ when taken in the eucharist. You know how they say, “Don’t chew the baby Jesus?” Well, don’t metabolize him, either! (And thus, the person taking sustenance in this miraculous fashion, unlike myself, can never be said to be full of s—!) ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-you-are-a-christian-i-say-you-nead-to-grow-up/97955/146 "2012-03-15T02:13:46Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > Nem, brother. tah eh lle? mm ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-you-are-a-christian-i-say-you-nead-to-grow-up/97955/147 "2012-03-15T02:33:45Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > I have noticed that during > the most trying periods of my life > there have only been one > set of footprints in the sand. > Why, when I needed you most, > you have not been there for me?" > > ``` > Og replied, > "The times when you have > seen only one set of footprints, > is when Og smashed you." > > ``` “I was wearing snowshoes, foolish mortal.” ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-you-are-a-christian-i-say-you-nead-to-grow-up/97955/148 "2012-03-15T03:04:01Z")
When I was in basic training, at Ft. Jackson, SC, back in 1974, my drill sergeant was named Ogg. Sgt. Carol Ogg. But since she spelled her name with two g’s she must have been part of a schismatic sect, not one of Og’s real children. (And as a side note, I really wish I could find out where she is and let her know I still remember her.) ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-you-are-a-christian-i-say-you-nead-to-grow-up/97955/149 "2012-03-15T03:10:53Z")
Come to think of it I had an instructor during my stint in business school with a last name of Ogg once upon a time. She was awesome, akshuly. ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-you-are-a-christian-i-say-you-nead-to-grow-up/97955/150 "2012-03-15T03:51:29Z")
Absolutely agreed with the OP 100%. Whenever I hear anyone talk about anything religious, I hear their voices turn to toddler voices, like, “Gud wuves ooo! Es ee dus! My gud’ll get ya!” Fucking babies. Fucking untrustworthy people. I firmly believe people who are devout should NOT be allowed to vote. Just pray. Jeebus promised you. Right? I also believe if you have ANY religious faith, you’re not allowed to run for any type of political office. To be more blunt, when you get to high school, it should be very apparent that you don’t believe in a god, especially a fucking murderous one such as yahweh or allah. Instead, you should realize that you like THE IDEA of there being a superpower on your side no matter what you do. I seriously have never met a true believer-- except once in a hospital. He was a schizo-retard with a 75 IQ. What believers have to realize is simply that the god YOU believe in is NOT who anyone else believes in when you sit in the pews with fashion-clad dummies every Saturday or Sunday. Raze every church in the US and make them schools, hospitals or parking lots. Even a half-full parking lot brings anyone more joy than a fucking church will. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGauss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karlgauss/32/3713_2.png) [@KarlGauss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGauss)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-you-are-a-christian-i-say-you-nead-to-grow-up/97955/151 "2012-03-15T03:53:27Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > Advice: Keep your mouth shut for the next, oh, ten or fifteen years, . . . **Jake** , I don’t think he was referring to you. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-you-are-a-christian-i-say-you-nead-to-grow-up/97955/152 "2012-03-15T04:05:21Z")
> [@johnpost](#): > > jake could have been in this from the start and he just has a real slow internet connection or maybe his computer was thrashing the hard drive and finally executed the process. Maybe Jake just got out of doing ten years in Joliet. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-you-are-a-christian-i-say-you-nead-to-grow-up/97955/153 "2012-03-15T07:50:47Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > When I was in basic training, at Ft. Jackson, SC, back in 1974, my drill sergeant was named Ogg. Sgt. Carol Ogg. > > But since she spelled her name with two g’s she must have been part of a schismatic sect, not one of Og’s real children. > > (And as a side note, I really wish I could find out where she is and let her know I still remember her.) Schismatic sect? No, she was a [witch](http://wiki.lspace.org/wiki/Nanny_Ogg)! ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-you-are-a-christian-i-say-you-nead-to-grow-up/97955/154 "2012-03-15T10:59:36Z")
> [@Locrian](#): > > Absolutely agreed with the OP 100%. > > Whenever I hear anyone talk about anything religious, I hear their voices turn to toddler voices, like, “Gud wuves ooo! Es ee dus! My gud’ll get ya!” > > Fucking babies. Fucking untrustworthy people. I firmly believe people who are devout should NOT be allowed to vote. Just pray. Jeebus promised you. Right? I also believe if you have ANY religious faith, you’re not allowed to run for any type of political office. > > To be more blunt, when you get to high school, it should be very apparent that you don’t believe in a god, especially a fucking murderous one such as yahweh or allah. Instead, you should realize that you like THE IDEA of there being a superpower on your side no matter what you do. > > I seriously have never met a true believer-- except once in a hospital. He was a schizo-retard with a 75 IQ. What believers have to realize is simply that the god YOU believe in is NOT who anyone else believes in when you sit in the pews with fashion-clad dummies every Saturday or Sunday. > > Raze every church in the US and make them schools, hospitals or parking lots. Even a half-full parking lot brings anyone more joy than a fucking church will. “It’s the Circle og Life…” ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-you-are-a-christian-i-say-you-nead-to-grow-up/97955/155 "2012-03-15T12:19:41Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > When I was in basic training, at Ft. Jackson, SC, back in 1974, my drill sergeant was named Ogg. Sgt. Carol Ogg. > > But since she spelled her name with two g’s she must have been part of a schismatic sect, not one of Og’s real children. > > (And as a side note, I really wish I could find out where she is and let her know I still remember her.) She may be living down the street from **Cat Whisperer**. > [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I find Ogg frequently; I pass Ogg’s house on my walks - Don and (Linda, I think) Ogg. You\* think \*it’s Linda. Could it be Carol? Og works in mysterious but smashing ways. ---
**Author:** ![Gukumatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/74df32/32.png) [@Gukumatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gukumatz)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2012, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-you-are-a-christian-i-say-you-nead-to-grow-up/97955/156 "2012-03-16T01:50:33Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > “It’s the Circle og Life…” Wait, that’s not a circle! That’s a roundhouse ki– END OF LINE ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2012, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-you-are-a-christian-i-say-you-nead-to-grow-up/97955/157 "2012-03-16T17:11:59Z")
> [@Jake](#): > > \ “And can you prove he wasn’t?” > Zev, one cannot prove a negative. The onus is on you. I’m intensely curious… How did you stumble upon this thread? ---
**Author:** ![gus28](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6de8d8/32.png) [@gus28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gus28)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2012, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-you-are-a-christian-i-say-you-nead-to-grow-up/97955/158 "2012-03-16T17:27:27Z")
Who would win if Og fought a hurricane? Wait… The hurricanes’s name is Og. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2012, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-you-are-a-christian-i-say-you-nead-to-grow-up/97955/159 "2012-03-17T04:01:56Z")
> [@Wheelz](#): > > She may be living down the street from **Cat Whisperer**. > > You\* think \*it’s Linda. Could it be Carol? > > Og works in mysterious but smashing ways. I walked past there again today - it’s {wait for it} GAYE! That’s right, folks; Ogg is Gaye! ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2012, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-you-are-a-christian-i-say-you-nead-to-grow-up/97955/160 "2012-03-17T05:58:43Z")
> [@Meatros](#): > > I’m intensely curious… > > How did you stumble upon this thread? Og stuck out foot. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-you-are-a-christian-i-say-you-nead-to-grow-up/97955.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-say-you-are-a-christian-i-say-you-nead-to-grow-up/97955.md?page=9)