# You see a heavily pregnant woman smoking - what do you do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 28, 2011, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-see-a-heavily-pregnant-woman-smoking-what-do-you-do/576258 "2011-03-28T14:20:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Grapefruit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@Grapefruit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grapefruit)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-see-a-heavily-pregnant-woman-smoking-what-do-you-do/576258/41 "2011-03-28T18:19:47Z")
I’d rip the cigarette from her hand and put it to her face, while screaming “How do you like them smokes now?!?!” Nah. Like others who have replied, I’d just mind my own business. Interestingly, a friend of mine tried to stir up some gossip by telling me she bumped into a former friend (I’d had a falling out with her a few years back) who is now heavily pregnant and pushing a toddler in a stroller and Miss (Mrs?) Preggers was chain smoking while they stopped to chat. When said friend told me about it, she was all “OMG, can you BUH-LEEEVE the trashiness of it? No wonder you stopped being friends with her!” It was obviously supposed to trigger some of my “Oh gee, stupid bitch is still a stupid bitch” reflex, but all I could do was shrug and say “Glad I didn’t have to see that.” ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-see-a-heavily-pregnant-woman-smoking-what-do-you-do/576258/42 "2011-03-28T18:37:37Z")
Even without the added drama that **Whynot** ’s friend is going through - my OB advised me to cut down gradually over the course of my pregnacy rather than quit outright when I discovered that I was pregnant. This was over 20 years ago, but she said the same thing - that the stress of quitting was sometimes worse than actually smoking and that I should do what I could but not to worry about doing more. I found out I was pregnant at 3 months and I had cut down to nothing at about 6 months. Apparently that was too fast since my darling boy was almost 10lbs. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![MostlyClueless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@MostlyClueless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MostlyClueless)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-see-a-heavily-pregnant-woman-smoking-what-do-you-do/576258/43 "2011-03-28T18:38:50Z")
It’s good old Darwin at work. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-see-a-heavily-pregnant-woman-smoking-what-do-you-do/576258/44 "2011-03-28T18:46:02Z")
In the US, I’d mind my own business. In the Balkans (where the OP is)…I don’t know, it would depend on the person and how well I knew them. People there don’t have as many scruples about telling strangers what to do there as Americans. Smoking really is omnipresent there, and people don’t seem to take the health risks very seriously. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-see-a-heavily-pregnant-woman-smoking-what-do-you-do/576258/45 "2011-03-28T18:58:30Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Offer her extra cigarettes. I’m in favor of most things that reduce population. > [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Wouldn’t it be easier to go up to people, stroke their cheeks, and whisper, “Impotent”? > [@Nawth\_Chucka](#): > > If I send you a hefty check with a list of names and addresses, will you do this for me? And video it for all of mankind to enjoy? Not sure that would do any good. **ZPG Zealot** is the Roma, not **Freudian Slit**. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-see-a-heavily-pregnant-woman-smoking-what-do-you-do/576258/46 "2011-03-28T19:08:30Z")
> [@Lorski](#): > > My mom smoked the whole time she was pregnant with me and my brother, we came out just fine. No health problems at all. \ When I say things like that to people in real life, I usually give a twitch or two at the same time. 🙂 > [@JThunder](#): > > I might give her a look, but I’d stop short of glaring. > > FTR, I did the same thing yesterday, when I saw this guy filling up his gas tank. He stuck the nozzle into his car, then climbed back into the driver’s seat, apparently oblivious to the dangers of [static discharge](http://www.hatladies.org/driving_tips.htm). I didn’t personally confront him, but I did find myself frowning in his direction. I’m touchy about people trying to blow me up in gas stations, too. > [@stpauler](#): > > I’d ask her if the [jackhammers were bothering her.](http://snopes.com/photos/signs/pregnant.asp) Darn you! Darn you to heck! I came in here to say, I just think of this picture and chuckle to myself. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-see-a-heavily-pregnant-woman-smoking-what-do-you-do/576258/47 "2011-03-28T19:17:04Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Not sure that would do any good. **ZPG Zealot** is the Roma, not **Freudian Slit**. But **ZPG Zealot** won’t know what to do with My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic toys! ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-see-a-heavily-pregnant-woman-smoking-what-do-you-do/576258/48 "2011-03-28T20:02:21Z")
Every kid who’s screwed up prenatally by his or her mother’s ingestion of toxins represents less competition for the kids I want to see succeed. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-see-a-heavily-pregnant-woman-smoking-what-do-you-do/576258/49 "2011-03-28T20:08:13Z")
> [@Moonlitherial](#): > > Even without the added drama that **Whynot** ’s friend is going through - my OB advised me to cut down gradually over the course of my pregnacy rather than quit outright when I discovered that I was pregnant. I realize my verbs were all mixed up there. Just to be clear, that fetus is now 13 years old. Shockingly enough, no deformities or disabilities from his very extraordinary uterine experiences, and a whopping 9+ pounds at birth. They were very, very lucky. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-see-a-heavily-pregnant-woman-smoking-what-do-you-do/576258/50 "2011-03-28T20:20:01Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Just to be clear, that fetus is now 13 years old. Now, _that_ is a long gestation period. Elephants only go two years. Some sharks more than three years. Nowhere near 13 though. ---
**Author:** ![sugar\_and\_spice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e8c25b/32.png) [@sugar\_and\_spice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugar_and_spice)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-see-a-heavily-pregnant-woman-smoking-what-do-you-do/576258/51 "2011-03-28T20:22:44Z")
> [@spark240](#): > > The following is not a criticism of any respondent here. My first thought in response to the OP is also the _no action/feel bad_ option that is leading. But… > > I’m not sure how common knowledge of smoking’s in utero damage _really_ is. Yes, everyone has heard that smoking is bad for you. Probably most everyone has heard that smoking during pregnancy is extra bad. But I wonder how many of us, or how many disadvantaged women, would actually be able to name very many–or any–of the specific effects. I just looked it up and there were several things mentioned that were new to me. I think if that’s your reasoning (general “you”, I get that you’re just sharing ideas here), and you feel compeled to step in to help the babies of strangers, then you can donate or give your time to the Y or Planned Parenthood or some other non-profit that works with pregnant women. Even if you just “Like” them on facebook, it’s probably going to do more good in the long run then agitating a pregnant woman whose medical history you know nothing about. ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-see-a-heavily-pregnant-woman-smoking-what-do-you-do/576258/52 "2011-03-28T20:32:45Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > “Do you smoke?” “Yes.” > > “DON’T STOP!” bellowed the OB. Yes, I heard it with my own ears. He adamantly did \*\*not \*\*want her to stop smoking during her pregnancy, lest the stress of one more drug withdrawal lead her to start the other stuff again. > You just never know what someone’s doctor has told her, or why. MYOB This is similar to what happened with a close friend of mine. Her partner had some sort of manic upswing combined with an affair, and my friend ended up homeless at 8 weeks pregnant. She lived with my husband and me until the baby was six months old. In any case, she was under so much stress with the abrupt end of her marriage and subsequent headgames from her (I try not to judge, but f’ing crazy) partner that her OB/GYN told her to just keep it under five cigs a day. That didn’t stop some busybody confronting her outside of Target and making her cry, though. ---
**Author:** ![Ludy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Ludy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludy)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-see-a-heavily-pregnant-woman-smoking-what-do-you-do/576258/53 "2011-03-28T20:47:57Z")
**WhyNot’s** story reminded me of something a friend of mine told me when I was pregnant. I was shocked at the huge list of no-no’s for pregnant women and I am one of those women who are pretty relaxed about most things. I try to learn why things are not recommended and them make up my own mind. I was at a friends bridal shower when I was about seven months pregnant, and I made myself a drink. Some of the people there were shocked, but then my friend came to my aide. She is a doctor and said that the most important part of development is the first trimester, and anyways crack addicts have healthy babies all the time. One drink is not going to hurt anything. I wouldn’t say anything. You don’t know if thats her first cigarette in weeks. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-see-a-heavily-pregnant-woman-smoking-what-do-you-do/576258/54 "2011-03-28T20:58:28Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Offer her extra cigarettes. I’m in favor of most things that reduce population. What forms of population reduction do you oppose? ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-see-a-heavily-pregnant-woman-smoking-what-do-you-do/576258/55 "2011-03-28T21:16:11Z")
Other - I would try to mentally calculate how much it’s costing Medicaid, and thus me. ---
**Author:** ![Apollyon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/apollyon/32/4238_2.png) [@Apollyon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apollyon)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-see-a-heavily-pregnant-woman-smoking-what-do-you-do/576258/56 "2011-03-28T21:28:26Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > I’m a huge fan of “unless someone asks your opinion, mind your own goddamn business about what they do to their body and how they raise their children.” Nicely put. > [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > I’m in favor of most things that reduce population. Who would have thunk it? 🙂 (Name / post combo). Voted do nothing… but I do have a fantasy of carrying a water pistol and soaking smokers… any smokers, pregnant or not… just to extinguish the flames you understand. 😛 (No, I wouldn’t do it… but I’m allowed to dream). ---
**Author:** ![horsetech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dec6dc/32.png) [@horsetech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/horsetech)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2011, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-see-a-heavily-pregnant-woman-smoking-what-do-you-do/576258/57 "2011-03-29T01:00:10Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > I think “Cigarettes hurt babies” is my favorite. But I can’t believe they left off “Cigarettes make puppies feel bad.” Every time you light up while pregnant, God kills a kitten. TBH, it may be irrational, but I worry more about the kid growing up being constantly exposed to secondhand smoke than I worry about the pregnancy. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2011, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-see-a-heavily-pregnant-woman-smoking-what-do-you-do/576258/58 "2011-03-29T01:05:59Z")
> [@stpauler](#): > > I’d ask her if the [jackhammers were bothering her.](http://snopes.com/photos/signs/pregnant.asp) That is priceless. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2011, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-see-a-heavily-pregnant-woman-smoking-what-do-you-do/576258/59 "2011-03-29T01:07:59Z")
> [@Ludy](#): > > I was shocked at the huge list of no-no’s for pregnant women and I am one of those women who are pretty relaxed about most things. I try to learn why things are not recommended and them make up my own mind. I was at a friends bridal shower when I was about seven months pregnant, and I made myself a drink. Some of the people there were shocked, but then my friend came to my aide. She is a doctor and said that the most important part of development is the first trimester, and anyways crack addicts have healthy babies all the time. One drink is not going to hurt anything. When I found out that not only were certain kinds of fish out but so where deli meats and soft cheeses, I realized that either I was going to cheat when/if I ever got pregnant. Or go crazy. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2011, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-see-a-heavily-pregnant-woman-smoking-what-do-you-do/576258/60 "2011-03-29T01:29:58Z")
> [@Ludy](#): > > **WhyNot’s** story reminded me of something a friend of mine told me when I was pregnant. > > I was shocked at the huge list of no-no’s for pregnant women and I am one of those women who are pretty relaxed about most things. I try to learn why things are not recommended and them make up my own mind. I was at a friends bridal shower when I was about seven months pregnant, and I made myself a drink. Some of the people there were shocked, but then my friend came to my aide. She is a doctor and said that the most important part of development is the first trimester, and anyways crack addicts have healthy babies all the time. One drink is not going to hurt anything. > > I wouldn’t say anything. You don’t know if thats her first cigarette in weeks. I had anxiety attacks late in pregnancy. And I called my OB. They were horrible. He said something like “I’d never tell you to drink during pregnancy, but we used to tell women who went through this to have a glass of wine. I will tell you that we have hundreds of years of experience showing us light drinking doesn’t mean FAS, and that any anti anxiety drugs I could give you haven’t been tested as safe for pregnancy.” (That study on light drinking - there was on with the same results when my daughter was gestating - she is 11 now.) Similarly, while smoking during pregnancy isn’t great, my mother, my husband’s mother, the vast majority of my girlfriend’s mothers, my aunts…almost everyone who gestated in the mid 1960s-mid 1970s smoked through there pregnancy. It might have not been ideal, but most of us really don’t show a lot of ill effects. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-see-a-heavily-pregnant-woman-smoking-what-do-you-do/576258.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-see-a-heavily-pregnant-woman-smoking-what-do-you-do/576258.md?page=4)