# You see a heavily pregnant woman smoking - what do you do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 28, 2011, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-see-a-heavily-pregnant-woman-smoking-what-do-you-do/576258 "2011-03-28T14:20:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2011, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-see-a-heavily-pregnant-woman-smoking-what-do-you-do/576258/123 "2011-04-01T14:04:20Z")
> [@acsenray](#): > > No one who smokes doesn’t know it’s dangerous. It’s written on the packet. And if you’re in England, the warning labels look [like](http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/6968580.stm) [this](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tobacco_packaging_warning_messages#United_Kingdom). So, when you say you’re merely trying to be helpful and informative, I don’t believe you. Exactly. You’re not “helping”, you’re lecturing, and if you want to be a self-righteous busybody, the least you can do is own it. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2011, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-see-a-heavily-pregnant-woman-smoking-what-do-you-do/576258/124 "2011-04-01T14:16:17Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I find it baffling that you consider the level of public awareness of bean toxicity equal to that of the risks of smoking. Well fortunately I don’t think this, and haven’t asserted as such. All I’ve said is that there is a chance that a person might not be aware that smoking has more effects than just leading to a low birth weight. If you guys dispute this, then go ahead and ask some people “What specific effects can smoking have on a developing embryo, besides low weight at birth?” and see how many correct answers you get. > [@acsenray](#): > > It’s not a cultural thing. In fact, the general perception is that Americans are far more willing to engage in conversation with strangers than British people are. OK, but that’s not what I meant. I meant whether there’s a weird idea of what “rudeness” is, where it’s not based on intent, words or actions. Like: > [@Dangerosa](#): > > (Its also rude to start a conversation with a woman because you think she’s hot. Unless you are in a place where the purpose is to pick up the opposite sex.) WTF? I can only hope that **Dangerosa** is assuming I mean sitting next to a woman uninvited and saying something like “Hey, I can tell you want me. Let’s get to it!” When of course I mean just trying to _find out_ if she is friendly and wants to talk by politely asking some sort of context-specific question. …Or maybe I’ll just dive in with a compliment. It’s a strange world where I’d feel “Oh I can’t talk to her because I’m not in a specifically designated pick-up zone”. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2011, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-see-a-heavily-pregnant-woman-smoking-what-do-you-do/576258/125 "2011-04-01T14:34:31Z")
> [@Mijin](#): > > WTF? > I can only hope that **Dangerosa** is assuming I mean sitting next to a woman uninvited and saying something like “Hey, I can tell you want me. Let’s get to it!” > > When of course I mean just trying to _find out_ if she is friendly and wants to talk by politely asking some sort of context-specific question. > > …Or maybe I’ll just dive in with a compliment. It’s a strange world where I’d feel “Oh I can’t talk to her because I’m not in a specifically designated pick-up zone”. No, I mean that when you see a hot woman in a grocery store, you cannot approach her to find out if she is friendly merely because she is hot - well, again, you can, but its rude. You can make small talk with strangers - say on an airplane, or even in line in a grocery store - if you are aware of the subtle and not so subtle “go away” signals. Sometimes, such small talk leads to lasting friendship (or a quickie). But if your motivation for small talk is “she is hot” that’s skeevy. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2011, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-see-a-heavily-pregnant-woman-smoking-what-do-you-do/576258/126 "2011-04-02T14:53:22Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > No, I mean that when you see a hot woman in a grocery store, you cannot approach her to find out if she is friendly merely because she is hot - well, again, you can, but its rude. You can make small talk with strangers - say on an airplane, or even in line in a grocery store - if you are aware of the subtle and not so subtle “go away” signals. Sometimes, such small talk leads to lasting friendship (or a quickie). But if your motivation for small talk is “she is hot” that’s skeevy. So it’s ok to try to make small talk with anyone at any time _except_ if I’m attracted to them? Because being attracted to someone that I find attractive is skeevy? And since my _motivation_ for speaking to someone attractive is “skeevy” (which I take to be creepy?), that makes the action _rude_? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-see-a-heavily-pregnant-woman-smoking-what-do-you-do/576258.md?page=6)