# "You shook my hand -- and you looked me square in the eye." Asshole Army Ad. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 15, 2006, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shook-my-hand-and-you-looked-me-square-in-the-eye-asshole-army-ad/352768 "2006-04-15T08:19:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![scotandrsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@scotandrsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotandrsn)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2006, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shook-my-hand-and-you-looked-me-square-in-the-eye-asshole-army-ad/352768/41 "2006-04-15T16:34:27Z")
[QUOTE=Jonathan Chance] I’m relatively certain drinking Budweiser won’t make supermodels suck my weenie, either. I don’t see you complaining about that. [/QUOTE] Can you tell me when that ad will be on? ::Looks for TiVo remote:: I too fail to see the positive message in the specific ad mentioned in the OP. When your criteria for assessing your child’s progress in becoming an upstanding member of society is a superficial act that you can train a dog to do in an afternoon, there’s something screwed up in the relationship right there. I don’t even think it’s an ad that is trying to market to either the kids or the parents. It’s merely image-building propaganda, like when there are prime-time TV ads for Raytheon or the aluminum industry or others that don’t sell direct to the public, that are simply there to give the impression of how great they are. While this is a recruiting ad, it’s more of a “don’t forget what a positive part of society we are” ad. If it were to honestly lay out its motives, the dad’s full line would be something like: “Gee son, when I saw you in those Polaroids on the news applying electrical current to the genitals of that unaccused inmate, I worried that the military was turning you into a psychopath. But now, when you come home and look me in the eye and shake my hand just like the salesman at the used car lot, I know you’re a fine, upstanding, trustworthy young man. I’m proud of you! \” My neighbor’s kid, the one who yelled at and hit his parents, and burned and blew things up in the back yard for the hell of it, and had the cops called on him I don’t know how many times, just got back from two years in the Air Force. Hasn’t changed a bit, at least not in any way that is unattributable to being two years older anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2006, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shook-my-hand-and-you-looked-me-square-in-the-eye-asshole-army-ad/352768/42 "2006-04-15T16:48:06Z")
My son joined the Air Force two years ago as a bright but sullen, noncommunicative, mumbling teenager. In a few short weeks they transformed him into a young man who stands up straight, speaks up loud and clear and politely, and has the self-confidence he totally lacked before going in. And his chances of getting sent off to war? Basically zero at this point; in his career field, they ask for volunteers and thus far have far, far more volunteers than they need. (He is _not_ one of the volunteers, I hasten to add – he’s not gotten _that_ indoctrinated!) So he’s spending his four years safe and well-provided for, and will come out with all those college benefits. Just like they promised. The ad the OP complained about is actually quite representative for a _lot_ of kids who go into the miilitary with no self-confidence and come out of basic training far more confident, self-assured, and polite than they went in. I don’t think it’s unrealistic at all. I watched it happen to my own son, so I know it’s quite possible. And my hubby, his stepdad, also likes this ad because it so accurately portrays what happened to Young Tiger. So to me, it says: Join the military and acquire self-confidence. What’s wrong with that? They go out of their way to teach self-confidence to those who are lacking in it. They teach courtesy, which includes things like shaking someone’s hand. I’m not saying that 100% of the kids who go in acquire all of those things, but a significant enough number do that they have every right to claim that as a benefit of service. It’s not all death and destruction, you know. The military does have very positive effects on a lot of peoples’ lives. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2006, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shook-my-hand-and-you-looked-me-square-in-the-eye-asshole-army-ad/352768/43 "2006-04-15T17:12:10Z")
Ok, I’m going to do it again…I’ve only done it once or twice, I consider it bad form But I have to respond to the OP even though I haven’t read the rest of the thread. God that commercial bothers me. His 18 year old son can’t shake his hand and look him in the eye? What did he do to that poor kid? I don’t think about joining the army. I think about what that kid had to put up with to be raised like that. I was thinking about starting a pit thread about it myself. Ok, now I’ll go read the rest of the thread. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2006, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shook-my-hand-and-you-looked-me-square-in-the-eye-asshole-army-ad/352768/44 "2006-04-15T17:13:28Z")
[QUOTE=Mama Tiger] MySo to me, it says: Join the military and acquire self-confidence. What’s wrong with that? They go out of their way to teach self-confidence to those who are lacking in it. They teach courtesy, which includes things like shaking someone’s hand. [/QUOTE] I would think with your own Dad you could maybe hug him or something. Shaking hands is for meeting people at business meetings or parties. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2006, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shook-my-hand-and-you-looked-me-square-in-the-eye-asshole-army-ad/352768/45 "2006-04-15T17:18:53Z")
[QUOTE=TheLoadedDog] The Royal Marines are fucking hard cases and I shit myself just thinking about them. [/QUOTE] The son of my parents’ neighbour is one. Their other slogan is, “You’re not good enough.” And the change in him from before to after is remarkable. He did the final tab with a broken foot, then got septecemia before he could pass out. He recovered and passed out. I know a number of ex-RMs at work too. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2006, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shook-my-hand-and-you-looked-me-square-in-the-eye-asshole-army-ad/352768/46 "2006-04-15T17:21:17Z")
[QUOTE=Bryan Ekers] There were several such ads. One involved a man in civilian dress working his way through a maze filled with traps and making his saving throw over and over, then zapping into a uniform at the end; another involved a bunch of medieval characters (including an armored mounted knight) going at it on a giant chessboard. The knight clobbers two or three enemy pieces and works his way to the enemy king, who surrenders, and the knight’s broadsword and armor transform into a Mameluke and dress uniform. The whole thing was, I thought, a direct lift from the old video-game _Battlechess_. Kinda nifty, though. [/QUOTE] I loved that game! I remember going to the great trouble of arranging it so that a pawn was the checkmating piece, because I wanted to see that specific bit of animation. The game had a bug, though – it was confused by multiple check. For instance, if I put the king in check with my rook, and by moving that rook I also put the king in a discovered check with my bishop, the computer would show the “I’m thinking” icon for a spell, then return control to me without having made a move. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2006, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shook-my-hand-and-you-looked-me-square-in-the-eye-asshole-army-ad/352768/47 "2006-04-15T17:30:54Z")
[QUOTE=RickJay] I would think with your own Dad you could maybe hug him or something. Shaking hands is for meeting people at business meetings or parties. [/QUOTE] I don’t disagree; but I also have known men who would never, ever hug their dad, or any other man, for that matter. Shaking hands is still an accepted way of greeting another person, so if the kid looks his dad in the eye and shakes his hand, it’s still better than a mumbled, “Hey,” while looking at his feet or some such. Which is really not that uncommon in teenagers, even ones who have been taught courteous behavior. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2006, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shook-my-hand-and-you-looked-me-square-in-the-eye-asshole-army-ad/352768/48 "2006-04-15T17:34:29Z")
I’ve seen the ad a number of times(The Army and Navy get a lot of commerical airplay in my area). This ad never bothered me. To me, the dad is saying “You have an air of confidence you never had before” or “You’ve matured”. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2006, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shook-my-hand-and-you-looked-me-square-in-the-eye-asshole-army-ad/352768/49 "2006-04-15T17:48:48Z")
[QUOTE=Dewey Finn] Maybe in New Zealand the army recruiting ads _look_ like computer games, but here in the US, the army actually _uses_ a [computer game](http://www.americasarmy.com/) as a recruiting tool. [/QUOTE] I’ll say this much, the training mode is pretty realistic seemings and well thought out. Want to be a sniper? Finish basic rifle training, then go to sniper training. Want to be special forces? Do some airborne training, and then that incredibly hard survival course. My problem with the game is that the people who play it don’t actually work as a team and still do that bunny hopping shit. At least not when I played. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2006, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shook-my-hand-and-you-looked-me-square-in-the-eye-asshole-army-ad/352768/50 "2006-04-15T17:55:29Z")
[QUOTE=Snooooopy] I loved that game! I remember going to the great trouble of arranging it so that a pawn was the checkmating piece, because I wanted to see that specific bit of animation. The game had a bug, though – it was confused by multiple check. For instance, if I put the king in check with my rook, and by moving that rook I also put the king in a discovered check with my bishop, the computer would show the “I’m thinking” icon for a spell, then return control to me without having made a move. [/QUOTE] Could you then capture the king? Sweet! ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2006, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shook-my-hand-and-you-looked-me-square-in-the-eye-asshole-army-ad/352768/51 "2006-04-15T18:01:22Z")
[QUOTE=Ludovic] Could you then capture the king? Sweet! [/QUOTE] Actually, I didn’t think to do that. When the computer returned control to me, I moved my queen or something to put the king in triple check. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2006, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shook-my-hand-and-you-looked-me-square-in-the-eye-asshole-army-ad/352768/52 "2006-04-15T18:18:59Z")
[QUOTE=TheLoadedDog] I believe the defence forces have a right to advertise. If you’re going to come down hard on them for over stepping boundaries, then you’ll need to come down hard on 99.9% of the other advertisers. [/QUOTE] This does happen. It’s called an Advertising Standards Authority, where people complain if they have a righteous beef about ads. If the beef is genuine, and not just a droning whine from the corner of a darkened room somewhere, the ad makers are told to desist. Works well here. I imagine they have something similar in your patch. Ads for the military that go all Tomb Raider don’t bother me. But the references here to computer game-style ads in the US are interesting. Predictable, really, given the immense popularity of gaming. Great marketing tool, that. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2006, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shook-my-hand-and-you-looked-me-square-in-the-eye-asshole-army-ad/352768/53 "2006-04-15T18:33:37Z")
[QUOTE=ParentalAdvisory] I like the recent one for the Air Force, where the kid is strolling down the streat, and casually helps the cop with his laptop that crashed… and the miracle cure is to press F8 on bootup to get into Safe Mode. Works evertime! Then the scene switches to the kid in a fast paced computer enviroment on a jumbo jet. “We’ve been waiting for you.” Laugh out fucking loud (deserved the entire spelling), give me a fucking break. I was getting into safe mode in the fucking 8th grade. Where’s my jumbo jet, damnit? Who’s writing these stupid commericals? Probably the kid they took in because he knew how to get into safe mode to fix their MS Movie Maker software. [/QUOTE] What got me about that ad is that the kid was supposed to be understood as a computer genius who’s also down with his crew on the street corner. When the cop says, “there he is,” you think they’re going to arrest him. But it turns out they just need his help because he’s both a genius and a tough street kid. They ought to just have footage from _Good Will Hunting_ for Christ sakes. ---
**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2006, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shook-my-hand-and-you-looked-me-square-in-the-eye-asshole-army-ad/352768/54 "2006-04-15T18:47:35Z")
[QUOTE=mhendo] It’s interesting to contrast the commercial discussed in the OP with one of the other Army recruiting ads. The one we’ve been discussing here is obviously supoposed to portray some beefy, mid-western farm family, real salt-of-the-earth Americans. And, for this family, the Army apparently serves as a way for the kid to become a man in the eyes of his father. But of course, we all know that black kids don’t have fathers. :rolleyes: So the commercial the Army ran at the same time portrayed a black kid talking to his mother about how the Army will pay for college, and how it’s time for him to be the man around the house. [/QUOTE] I’m not exactly convinced that this is a racial thing in marketing. While it’s a good possibility, it could also be a coincidence that the one used to pander to minorities did not have a father. It could also be that it was an entire coincidence that the kid was black, but that is unfortunatly highly unlikely. If you want to see the most egregious example of racial pandering in commercials recently, look at the recent Dodge Charger commercials. Two ads ran around the same time, depending on your area. In one, a handsome white fellow is driving down the road in a Charger, blowing past this pretty white chick. An EXACT same commercial, down to the outfits, color of car, sets, expressions, everything was played at the same time, except the handsome white man was a handsome black fellow, and the pretty white chick was black. Really was a WTF moment for myself. They couldn’t have done white male/black female or black male/white female, they had to do all white or all black. Bizarre, and obviously racial. ---
**Author:** ![shamrock227](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@shamrock227](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shamrock227)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2006, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shook-my-hand-and-you-looked-me-square-in-the-eye-asshole-army-ad/352768/55 "2006-04-15T19:42:14Z")
[QUOTE=mhendo] … But of course, we all know that black kids don’t have fathers. :rolleyes: So the commercial the Army ran at the same time portrayed a black kid talking to his mother about how the Army will pay for college, and how it’s time for him to be the man around the house. [/QUOTE] I’ve seen this one about a million times – I’m pretty sure he says “It’s time for me to be a man.” A small, but distinct, difference. > [@RickJay](#): > > I would think with your own Dad you could maybe hug him or something. Shaking hands is for meeting people at business meetings or parties This is always my exact reaction when I see this commercial (then again, I’m a woman - maybe that’s the difference?) ---
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2006, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shook-my-hand-and-you-looked-me-square-in-the-eye-asshole-army-ad/352768/56 "2006-04-15T21:33:46Z")
“And after a while, you can work on points for style. Like the club tie, **and the firm handshake, A certain look in the eye** and an easy smile. You have to be trusted by the people that you lie to, So that when they turn their backs on you, You’ll get the chance to put the knife in.” - Pink Floyd ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2006, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shook-my-hand-and-you-looked-me-square-in-the-eye-asshole-army-ad/352768/57 "2006-04-15T21:51:11Z")
[QUOTE=Ludovic] Could you then capture the king? Sweet! [/QUOTE] Yeah, but then you have to put him on trial, which is a real bitch. ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2006, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shook-my-hand-and-you-looked-me-square-in-the-eye-asshole-army-ad/352768/58 "2006-04-15T21:53:42Z")
I remember Burt Reynolds about twenty years ago saying that where he came from, you never felt like you were really a man until your father died. Maybe it’s a southern thing? Feeling like a man after joining the military is a big step up from waiting for your dad to kick the bucket, if nothing else. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2006, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shook-my-hand-and-you-looked-me-square-in-the-eye-asshole-army-ad/352768/59 "2006-04-15T22:07:35Z")
I am sure that this ad will work well for a lot of the population but it sure did annoy me too. When I see my Dad we give each other a huge hug. If I shook his hand and looked him in the eye he would be hurt and insulted. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2006, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shook-my-hand-and-you-looked-me-square-in-the-eye-asshole-army-ad/352768/60 "2006-04-15T22:07:52Z")
[QUOTE=CynicalGabe] What kind of dumbass delinquent was this kid before that shaking your dad’s hand is something to be proud of? I share the OPs general opinion. I hate all of the military recruiting ads. [/QUOTE] I mostly agree, but even I see some exceptions, like the one where a US Marine fights against a lava monster. (learning CGI here 🙂 ) However, I agree with this: [QUOTE=Ice Wolf] If your ads are using real actors, be grateful. If they start to look like a computer game – worry [/QUOTE] A son of one of my in-laws was training to be a Green Beret, I asked him recently if he ever considered the Marines, he replied: “No way! We call them ‘bullet catchers’!” :eek: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shook-my-hand-and-you-looked-me-square-in-the-eye-asshole-army-ad/352768.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shook-my-hand-and-you-looked-me-square-in-the-eye-asshole-army-ad/352768.md?page=4)