# You shouldn't have to tell someone this is a bad idea. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 14, 2020, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-someone-this-is-a-bad-idea/847913 "2020-02-14T00:58:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2020, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-someone-this-is-a-bad-idea/847913/21 "2020-02-14T02:50:29Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > When working criminal cases, you are often exposed to graphic autopsy or accident scene photos, but he said the pictures from this case were the worst thing he’d ever seen. On _ **Forensic Files** _, this would be called “a sign of rage.” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2020, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-someone-this-is-a-bad-idea/847913/22 "2020-02-14T03:10:59Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > I wonder if she’s claiming self infliction to protect somebody. > > It doesn’t sound like something a woman would normally be into. Missed this… yes it is being investigated. ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2020, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-someone-this-is-a-bad-idea/847913/23 "2020-02-14T03:20:35Z")
Huh, I guess guns really are penis substitutes. Next we’ll see a case of a woman getting run over by a fancy sports car while using is as a penis substitute. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2020, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-someone-this-is-a-bad-idea/847913/24 "2020-02-14T03:24:45Z")
I’m not sure if it was true or not but I read an alleged case once where a guy injected cocaine into his penis and developed gangrene and had not only his penis but both his legs amputated. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2020, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-someone-this-is-a-bad-idea/847913/25 "2020-02-14T03:33:50Z")
…They found her vagina in North Carolina… ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2020, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-someone-this-is-a-bad-idea/847913/26 "2020-02-14T03:44:51Z")
… and bits of her tits in Dallas. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2020, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-someone-this-is-a-bad-idea/847913/27 "2020-02-14T03:46:41Z")
And then there was the young girl named Jill… ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2020, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-someone-this-is-a-bad-idea/847913/28 "2020-02-14T04:07:28Z")
There was a young girl named Alice Who used a gun as a phallus And when she got hot She heard a loud shot And now poor Alice… yeah I’ve got nothing here. Maybe Deloris, Mulva? ---
**Author:** ![Leviosaurus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Leviosaurus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leviosaurus)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2020, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-someone-this-is-a-bad-idea/847913/29 "2020-02-14T04:09:10Z")
I saw an interview with Bill Lawrence (showrunner for **Scrubs**.) He had some friends who had gone through med school and were doing their residencies. He’d get together and drink with them, and he couldn’t get over how hilarious their stories were. That’s how he came up with the idea for the show. Some of the early stories were straight from his friends. ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2020, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-someone-this-is-a-bad-idea/847913/30 "2020-02-14T04:22:01Z")
There was an Okie named Alice. Who used a gun as a phallus And when she got hot She heard a loud shot And now her clit is in Dallas Am I spending way too much time trying to scrub this picture out of my brain with an attempt at humor? ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2020, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-someone-this-is-a-bad-idea/847913/31 "2020-02-14T04:26:31Z")
> [@Spud](#): > > There was an Okie named Alice. > Who used a gun as a phallus > And when she got hot > She heard a loud shot > And now her clit is in Dallas Good one! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2020, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-someone-this-is-a-bad-idea/847913/32 "2020-02-14T04:28:38Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > I wonder if she’s claiming self infliction to protect somebody. > > It doesn’t sound like something a woman would normally be into. > [@Spud](#): > > Missed this… yes it is being investigated. Good! because honestly, that sounds more plausible than “she used a loaded gun as a dildo”. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2020, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-someone-this-is-a-bad-idea/847913/33 "2020-02-14T04:46:47Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > Good! because honestly, that sounds more plausible than “she used a loaded gun as a dildo”. Target practice? :dubious: 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2020, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-someone-this-is-a-bad-idea/847913/34 "2020-02-14T05:08:42Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > … and bits of her tits in Dallas. 😃 Doesn’t scan. It’s “And part of her anus in Dallas.” ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2020, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-someone-this-is-a-bad-idea/847913/35 "2020-02-14T05:57:31Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > And then there was the young girl named Jill… Who used a dynamite stick for a thrill… They found her vagina in North Carolina and bits of her tits in Brazil ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2020, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-someone-this-is-a-bad-idea/847913/36 "2020-02-14T05:58:53Z")
One of my first calls I got sent to alone as a new Deputy in the early 80’s was a medical incident. A womans boyfriend drank himself limp. So he started giving it to her with an empty glass beer bottle. But the pumping motion caused a vacuum along with some kind of involuntary muscle spasm and the bottle got stuck in her 'gina with only about 1 inch of the bottle sticking out, the rest up inside her. There were marks on her inner thigh from his knee, indicating he braced himself as he tried furiously to pull it out. When I and paramedics arrived she was on her back on the floor screaming at him that he didn’t even make her cum. Massive doses of muscle relaxers and sedatives didn’t help. She had to go into surgery and they had to get air into the bottle to get it out. Then there are the numerous choke and stroke (auto erotic asphyxiation) deaths I’ve responded to. People have really messed themselves up trying to get off. But I’ve yet to be at one where a lady shot her bean off. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2020, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-someone-this-is-a-bad-idea/847913/37 "2020-02-14T07:18:22Z")
> [@Spud](#): > > There was a young girl named Alice > Who used a gun as a phallus > And when she got hot > She heard a loud shot > And now poor Alice… …seems much more callus? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2020, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-someone-this-is-a-bad-idea/847913/38 "2020-02-14T08:36:55Z")
Was she listening to “Happiness Is a Warm Gun”? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2020, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-someone-this-is-a-bad-idea/847913/39 "2020-02-14T08:57:20Z")
> [@pkbites](#): > > One of my first calls I got sent to alone as a new Deputy in the early 80’s was a medical incident. > > A womans boyfriend drank himself limp. So he started giving it to her with an empty glass beer bottle. But the pumping motion caused a vacuum along with some kind of involuntary muscle spasm and the bottle got stuck in her 'gina with only about 1 inch of the bottle sticking out, the rest up inside her. > There were marks on her inner thigh from his knee, indicating he braced himself as he tried furiously to pull it out. When I and paramedics arrived she was on her back on the floor screaming at him that he didn’t even make her cum. Massive doses of muscle relaxers and sedatives didn’t help. She had to go into surgery and they had to get air into the bottle to get it out. > > Then there are the numerous choke and stroke (auto erotic asphyxiation) deaths I’ve responded to. People have really messed themselves up trying to get off. But I’ve yet to be at one where a lady shot her bean off. :eek: Awwww! Bean is a cute name for it. ---
**Author:** ![Fugazi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f08c70/32.png) [@Fugazi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fugazi)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2020, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-someone-this-is-a-bad-idea/847913/40 "2020-02-14T11:13:43Z")
It was an honest mistake. She just got the saying… This is my rifle This is my gun This ones for fighting This ones for fun A little backward. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-someone-this-is-a-bad-idea/847913.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-shouldnt-have-to-tell-someone-this-is-a-bad-idea/847913.md?page=3)