# You, sir, are a fucking idiot! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 29, 2001, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-a-fucking-idiot/90245 "2001-10-29T05:59:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2001, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-a-fucking-idiot/90245/1 "2001-10-29T05:59:30Z")
How do I begin? Do I begin by describing all the times my friend the loser has had the opportunity to sleep with women, but hasn’t taken it? Or do I describe his latest fuck up? I don’t know. I mean, how do I explain a guy who has only had sex with prostitutes and has never, ever had sex with someone he loves? Tonight, at dinner, he was telling me how his co-workers introduced him to a gal, who, quite frankly, sounds like she’d be perfect for him. But he doesn’t want anything to do with her! Why? Because her tattoo and nipple piercings clash with his idea of what a woman should be like :rolleyes: ! I even told him he shouldn’t worry about her tattoo since its on her ass and he wouldn’t want to do it doggie style, so he’d never have to look at it! His response, “Yeah, I didn’t really care for that the time I tried it.” Christ, man, you’re pathetic. You never discussed that with me before, and yet I know that you don’t like it! Ya think that maybe this should tell you something? Like maybe, you ought to listen to me? No, of course not. You see that as an opportunity to bash me because I haven’t been laid in almost two years. (Not that I haven’t had the opportunity, mind you, but she wasn’t on the pill and was allergic to latex, so I settled for fingering her since I wasn’t sure that I’d be able to do coitus interuptus and I didn’t want to risk fathering a child with a gal who might flake out on me [as she later did].) You stupid, fuck! You say sex is a commodity (and thus justifying the fact that you’ve **always** paid for it,whilest I never have!), and yet you bitch and moan because you don’t have a girlfriend! Here’s a hint: _ **Don’t treat sex as a commodity and you might get a girlfriend!!** _ You’ve had more opportunities to be in a serious relationship than I have, but you’ve never taken any of them! Why? Because the gals haven’t lived up to your perfect ideal (that no woman will ever be able to)! God! If I only had the opportunities that you’ve had! I wouldn’t be 32 and still single, dammit! You bitch that you don’t like the women around here (Which I can agree with to some extent.), and now you’re talking about buying a house! When I say, “Why the fuck do you want to buy a house here when you admit that you can’t stand the women in Nashville?” You say, “Well, other than that, I like it here.” :rolleyes: Jesus, dude! If you can’t stand the women here, then why the hell stay here? Damn! If I could afford to move, don’t you think I would? I might not have better luck somewhere else, but at least I’d be willing to give it a shot! You, on the other hand, are more than happy to rollover and play dead. You’re pathetic. ---
**Author:** ![JonScribe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3be4f8/32.png) [@JonScribe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JonScribe)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2001, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-a-fucking-idiot/90245/2 "2001-10-29T06:15:19Z")
Hey, why stick some poor gal with this loser. Let him carry on by himself. ---
**Author:** ![DPWhite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d26b3c/32.png) [@DPWhite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPWhite)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2001, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-a-fucking-idiot/90245/3 "2001-10-29T06:40:42Z")
Dude, gentlemen do not discuss the intimate details of their lives with other men. And your complaints are why. Get together and talk football (or whatever) not women. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2001, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-a-fucking-idiot/90245/4 "2001-10-29T06:54:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DPWhite \* > \*\*Dude, gentlemen do not discuss the intimate details of their lives with other men. And your complaints are why. Get together and talk football (or whatever) not women. \*\* No one ever called me a “gentleman”, and both he and I hate football. And, to be honest, when I’ve made a comment about his sex life to him, its almost always been a WAG on my part that turned out to be right. (And I didn’t tell him about what happened with the gal I mentioned in this post.) And **JonScribe** , my hope is that he’ll get a clue and stop whining about not having a girlfriend. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2001, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-a-fucking-idiot/90245/5 "2001-10-29T06:55:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DPWhite \* > \*\*Dude, gentlemen do not discuss the intimate details of their lives with other men. And your complaints are why. Get together and talk football (or whatever) not women. \*\* Gentlemen don’t refer to each other as ‘dude’, either. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2001, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-a-fucking-idiot/90245/6 "2001-10-29T14:06:38Z")
…how about some details? > [@](#): > > (Not that I haven’t had the opportunity, mind you, but she wasn’t on the pill and was allergic to latex, so I settled for fingering her since I wasn’t sure that I’d be able to do coitus interuptus and I didn’t want to risk fathering a child with a gal who might flake out on me [as she later did].) TMI Alert! His dick is not your problem. You’ll drop dead of a heart attack if you sit around worrying about where he is or is not putting it. Move on. End of story. Zette ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-a-fucking-idiot/90245/7 "2001-10-31T05:02:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zette \* > \*\*…how about some details? > > > [@](#): > > > > (Not that I haven’t had the opportunity, mind you, but she wasn’t on the pill and was allergic to latex, so I settled for fingering her since I wasn’t sure that I’d be able to do coitus interuptus and I didn’t want to risk fathering a child with a gal who might flake out on me [as she later did].) > > TMI Alert! > His dick is not your problem. You’ll drop dead of a heart attack if you sit around worrying about where he is or is not putting it. Move on. End of story. > > Zette \*\* **Zette** , then why’d you quote the whole thing? Actually, I wouldn’t give a shit about what he did with his dick, but he constantly whines about not getting laid. I could respect the guy for not wanting to ask that gal out if he had the balls to ask out other gals he was interested in, but he doesn’t. He comes up with all these lame ass excuses. Hell, tonight, he was saying that I should find him a date! Christ! Why should I? He wouldn’t bother to ask her out if I did find him one, even if she was his type! How do I know this? Because we used to eat at this Japanese place where he had the hots for the hostess, and she **told** him that she’d be more than willing to screw his little brains out! Did he ask her out? Nope! Why? Because he’s a craven little coward! ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-a-fucking-idiot/90245/8 "2001-10-31T05:29:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tuckerfan \* > \*\* > No one ever called me a “gentleman”, and both he and I hate football. \*\* **Tuckerfan** , I admire your chutzpah. 😃 **DPWhite** , women are miles ahead of us in the social order precisely because men have adheared to outmoded sterotypes like the one you mention, while women have left them _far_ behind. ---
**Author:** ![Reeder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-a-fucking-idiot/90245/9 "2001-10-31T06:00:18Z")
The female gender talk about men to compare… The male gender talk about women to brag… Thus is the way of our species. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-a-fucking-idiot/90245/10 "2001-10-31T06:06:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Reeder \* > \*\*The female gender talk about men to compare… > > The male gender talk about women to brag… > > Thus is the way of our species. \*\* Yeah, but there are exceptions, as I’ve known women to brag about the number of men they’ve slept with. ---
**Author:** ![Bossk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7feea3/32.png) [@Bossk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bossk)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-a-fucking-idiot/90245/11 "2001-10-31T06:42:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tuckerfan \* > > \*\*Tonight, at dinner, he was telling me how his co-workers introduced him to a gal, who, quite frankly, sounds like she’d be perfect for him. But he doesn’t want anything to do with her! Why? Because her tattoo and nipple piercings clash with his idea of what a woman should be like! I even told him he shouldn’t worry about her tattoo since its on her ass \*\* Oh yeah, she sounds like someone to bring home to mom. Believe it or not, there’s a percentage of the population of men around that don’t want a serious relationship with a woman who looks like a Hells Angel’s chew toy. They have a standard of what an ideal mate should be, and it sounds like Nips ain’t it. Big whoop. ---
**Author:** ![Slip\_Mahoney](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Slip\_Mahoney](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slip_Mahoney)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-a-fucking-idiot/90245/12 "2001-10-31T08:20:21Z")
A Hell’s Angel chew toy? Now _that’s_ funny! 🙂