# You sir are DISGUSTING! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 13, 2003, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-disgusting/148232 "2003-01-13T02:53:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-disgusting/148232/81 "2003-01-13T18:39:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by **Doghouse Reilly** \* > Sounds to me like **Mighty\_Girl’s** past heartbreak led her to try to set up a clinically controlled environment where she could obtain physical satisfaction but never, ever expose her fragile spirit to the emotional messiness of a “relationship”. Bullshit. Read my posts again. I said many times that he received EXACTLY what he asked for. I didn’t SET UP anything, I know it’s hard to believe but two adults can agree to basically anything. In this case was that I shouldn’t and he shouldn’t expect the other to fall in love (which usually precludes the wedding, 2.5 children and house with a pickett fence). He wasn’t willing and I was glad. I valued his friendship more than I valued his skills as lover. I could have lived perfectly well without the latter. I enjoyed his company, his wit, humor, in general what makes friends friends. I would have been willing to keep the friendship had he being honest. My best friend is a married man with a family (we never had sex) but he is my friend despite being with another woman (wife). It is not an entirely irrational proposition that I can be friends with a man that is attached to another woman. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-disgusting/148232/82 "2003-01-13T19:23:53Z")
What **Bricker** said. I really don’t get the shit being heaped on **Mighty\_Girl** in this thread. If she had posted the exact same situation, but referred to the guy as her boyfriend, she wouldn’t have gotten any of this. I’ve known many, many couples who both knew on some level that they were never going to get married or stay together long term, but just liked having someone to hang out and have sex with. The only difference here is that **Mighty\_Girl** and her guy spelled it out. His fucking around was just as wrong as if they had called each other boyfriend and girlfriend. She’s not mad that their relationship ended, but that it ended this way – he could have broken up with her like an adult, but instead he chose to cheat. Not cool. **Mighty\_Girl** , I’m sorry your friend behaved the way he did. He, like many of the participants in this thread, obviously had a hard time understanding that just because you weren’t in a traditional romantic relationship didn’t absolve him of considering your feelings. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-disgusting/148232/83 "2003-01-13T19:26:04Z")
For some reason, C.S. Lewis’s famous quote comes to mind: “We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honour and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and bid the geldings be fruitful.” To that we might add, “we burn the passion out of the most intimate expression of faithfulness, and then expect the recipients to be faithful”. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-disgusting/148232/84 "2003-01-13T19:46:42Z")
**techchick68** : Women are just as likely to cheat as men. I think your opinion is tainted by past experience. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-disgusting/148232/85 "2003-01-13T19:57:30Z")
Mighty\_Girl, do you know if he had protected sex with the other woman? If so, would you still be pissed? ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-disgusting/148232/86 "2003-01-13T20:12:19Z")
Wow, a hypothetical scenario. I hate them, my imagination doesn’t go so far. Let’s see. I know they had sex, but I didn’t get to see if he bagged it before sticking it in Chick no. 2. The only way to know is asking him. He denies having stuck it in Chick no 2, so there you go. I will never know, but based on the fact that I was the one always insisting in condoms (at the beginning I did) chances are that Mr. Irresponsible did not use them. But yes, I would still be pissed. Because it is not about sex, it is about being honest to your friends. I don’t know how I could stress it more, I don’t love the guy romantically, he was my friend, I though I was his friend (he’s good at pretending I guess), so in his book it is either OK to pretend to be friends or is OK to lie to friends even knowing that there will be NO CONSEQUENCES WHATSOEVER if telling the truth (other than not sticking it in **MG** again. ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-disgusting/148232/87 "2003-01-13T20:29:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mighty\_Girl \* > \*\*Yes, and that is that you were slower to make the connection than I was. I have known for weeks that you post on that MB. \*\* Outfoxed by a lady – should have known :smack: > [@](#): > > \*\*When you’re a woman, 32 yo, in a Latin country and you’ve only had 2 very long relationships in you life your family hears wedding bells any time they see a man (even if gay) standing next to you. Not funny, believe me. \*\* You know, I’d forgotten exactly how sexist Latin society really was. But since my return, I keep getting crash courses on how to act like a Chauvinist pig and get away with it from all kinds of sources – including the MB we’ve alluded to. Amazing stuff; feels like I’ve traveled back in time. So yes, I think I can empathize with your position. Takes twice the woman here to do the things and live the way women elsewhere have been doing for decades. Just don’t despair, sounds like you have a pretty good head on your shoulders. Might as well use it to put this latest episode in perspective as well. Then again, I am sure you knew that as well. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-disgusting/148232/88 "2003-01-13T20:39:38Z")
On the bright side: now we can planning a Santo Domingo Doperfest. There are two of us now. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-disgusting/148232/89 "2003-01-13T20:53:48Z")
Let me know with enough lead time, and perhaps Mrs. Bricker and I can attend! 🙂 We may be there last week of July. - Rick ---
**Author:** ![MelCthefirst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eada6e/32.png) [@MelCthefirst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MelCthefirst)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-disgusting/148232/90 "2003-01-13T21:28:34Z")
Mighty\_girl - how would you have liked him to have ended your sexual relationship because he wanted to have sex with someone else? And if he had told you that he wanted to have sex with someone else before the event, how would you have felt? Would you have remained friends? ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-disgusting/148232/91 "2003-01-13T21:30:20Z")
MG, I know it wasn’t about sex, but I thought it was about safety/health concerns mostly. I mean, if he’s not compromising your health, and you don’t have a romantic thing, would it really be a big deal? (Okay, the fact that he lied sucks- of course.) Maybe he thought you were falling in love with him (not important if you didn’t…we’re talking perception here) and didn’t want to hurt you. Granted, not a good plan, to lie to someone, but maybe that’s how it went in his head. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-disgusting/148232/92 "2003-01-13T21:33:47Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **MelCthefirst** _ > And if he had told you that he wanted to have sex with someone else before the event, how would you have felt? Would you have remained friends? I must have said YES to that question at least 10 times in this thread. His friendship was more important than his dick to me. Willing dicks are 0.10 apiece around here. Good, loyal and honest friends are a rare commodity anywhere. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **Bricker** _ > Let me know with enough lead time, and perhaps Mrs. Bricker and I can attend! We may be there last week of July. Cool, keep me posted. My email is available through my profile. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-disgusting/148232/93 "2003-01-13T21:51:13Z")
**Mighty\_Girl** : With regard to this guy you just dumped: Do you believe you deserve better? ---
**Author:** ![EasyPhil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e47c2d/32.png) [@EasyPhil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EasyPhil)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-disgusting/148232/94 "2003-01-13T21:58:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crafter\_Man \* > \*\ ***Mighty\_Girl** : > > With regard to this guy you just dumped: Do you believe you deserve better? \*\* I didn’t get the impression she was looking for better, it was more like stealth and convenience for the soul. Can it be classified as dumping, when she didn’t even have a relationship with him? Or maybe he dumped her? I don’t profess to know just asking. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-disgusting/148232/95 "2003-01-13T22:04:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crafter\_Man \* > Do you believe you deserve better? What fucking stupid question is that? Better than what? ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-disgusting/148232/96 "2003-01-13T22:07:23Z")
One thing makes me curious. I could have read your OP incorrectly, but it seemed that this had been a relationship of long standing, yes? both the friendship and the sexual relationship, correct? and that you’d both promised to be sexually faithful w/in the context of the relationship. But you’d only the most recent time had unprotected sex? If I misread that, then never mind. But, if I didn’t, then, what led you to have protected sex for this length of time **then** have unprotected? ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-disgusting/148232/97 "2003-01-13T22:09:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mighty\_Girl \* > \*\*What fucking stupid question is that? Better than what? \*\* Um, better than _him_. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-disgusting/148232/98 "2003-01-13T22:13:44Z")
EVERYBODY deserves better than having a dishonest person for a friend… except dishonest people that is. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-disgusting/148232/99 "2003-01-13T22:27:20Z")
Even people who are dishonest with themselves? ---
**Author:** ![EasyPhil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e47c2d/32.png) [@EasyPhil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EasyPhil)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-disgusting/148232/100 "2003-01-13T22:31:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Doghouse Reilly \* > \*\*Even people who are dishonest with themselves? \*\* She’s making an exception for that. People that are dishonest with themself deserves their dishonest self. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-disgusting/148232.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-sir-are-disgusting/148232.md?page=6)