# You-Solve-It Mafia Game **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [December 11, 2007, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-solve-it-mafia-game/429636 "2007-12-11T18:21:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 65
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2008, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-solve-it-mafia-game/429636/1281 "2008-01-25T20:06:02Z")
[QUOTE=faithfool] I thought we couldn’t talk once the day is over or just not after ‘night’ has fallen? [/QUOTE] We can talk, we just can’t discuss game strategy. Sorry, **Diomedes**. :: looks ruefully at scumdar :: I guess this thing isn’t worth a damn. I can has drink? ---
**Author:** ![NAF1138](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naf1138/32/3245_2.png) [@NAF1138](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NAF1138)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2008, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-solve-it-mafia-game/429636/1282 "2008-01-25T20:06:32Z")
[QUOTE=faithfool] I thought we couldn’t talk once the day is over or just not after ‘night’ has fallen? [/QUOTE] You can talk, you just can’t say anything. In other games there has been a lot of “Night time chatter” usually faux drinking at the bar. In this game…well you are a quiet bunch in general in this game. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2008, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-solve-it-mafia-game/429636/1283 "2008-01-25T20:10:09Z")
Never mind. I’m going to bed. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2008, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-solve-it-mafia-game/429636/1284 "2008-01-25T20:11:24Z")
Ah, thanks **Hazel** and **NAF**. Sorry **Dio**. ☹ Goes to show we’ve both been wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d9b06d/32.png) [@Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boozahol_Squid_P.I)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2008, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-solve-it-mafia-game/429636/1285 "2008-01-25T20:18:30Z")
Screw all you guys! And double nuts to the Ungruntled ones of you! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2008, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-solve-it-mafia-game/429636/1286 "2008-01-26T02:37:36Z")
I think you mean, you guys still _can’t_ edit, **Dio**. 😛 I was bored enough today to re-read the Cult of Sekham mafia game. It was when I lost my mafia virginity. :: nostalgic sigh :: It’s funny when you re-read those threads and think, whoa, people need to chill - it’s just a game! But then when you’re actually playing the game there comes a point where you’re seeing red and typing out DON’T call me a LIAR you BASTARD PIECE OF SCUM GAAAARGHGSDKMVSKIDJF\*&$%!!!11!111!1 (Even if you yourself ARE scum; it’s amazing how indignant people get over the truth sometimes, heh.) I suppose we’ve been pretty tame in comparison to previous games. I mean, last time around we had people drunk and dancing in cages during the Night. Now everyone just goes to bed. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2008, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-solve-it-mafia-game/429636/1287 "2008-01-26T03:03:04Z")
[QUOTE=HazelNutCoffee] I mean, last time around we had people drunk and dancing in cages during the Night. Now everyone just goes to bed. :dubious: [/QUOTE] Arright…I’ll handle this. :sets up trampoline overlooking vat of jello-n-rum: ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2008, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-solve-it-mafia-game/429636/1288 "2008-01-26T03:07:36Z")
:::sploosh!::: ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2008, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-solve-it-mafia-game/429636/1289 "2008-01-26T08:13:56Z")
Ick! It’s all sticky! ---
**Author:** ![dotchan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@dotchan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dotchan)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2008, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-solve-it-mafia-game/429636/1290 "2008-01-26T21:53:21Z")
(Bumping from the Peanut Gallery) I could sing Air Supply… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2008, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-solve-it-mafia-game/429636/1291 "2008-01-27T03:24:42Z")
[QUOTE=Hockey Monkey] :::sploosh!::: [/QUOTE] Mmm, [Porn Jelly](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeff_Murdock#Porn_Jelly). Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d9b06d/32.png) [@Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boozahol_Squid_P.I)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2008, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-solve-it-mafia-game/429636/1292 "2008-01-27T05:41:22Z")
[QUOTE=Mtgman] Mmm, [Porn Jelly](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeff_Murdock#Porn_Jelly). Enjoy, Steven [/QUOTE] I think I’ve said this before but… I almost never “Enjoy” the things you post. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![NAF1138](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naf1138/32/3245_2.png) [@NAF1138](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NAF1138)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2008, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-solve-it-mafia-game/429636/1293 "2008-01-27T19:44:54Z")
ok, it looks like everyone is ready but me. I have to run a quickisk errand and then I should be able to start the Day. Hopefully I can get things rolling by 2pm pacific time. Thanks for your patience. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2008, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-solve-it-mafia-game/429636/1294 "2008-01-27T19:45:41Z")
Just as a note… I’ll be gone for the next week, but hopefully I’ll be able to check in every night. Hope that doesn’t cause a hardship for anyone. Have a good one y’all. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2008, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-solve-it-mafia-game/429636/1295 "2008-01-27T20:56:57Z")
[QUOTE=NAF1138] ok, it looks like everyone is ready but me. I have to run a quickisk errand and then I should be able to start the Day. Hopefully I can get things rolling by 2pm pacific time. Thanks for your patience. [/QUOTE] And in the meantime… You really didn’t need to see this again. You were there, you know every detail intimately. Still, the vision flooded into your eyes and overwhelmed your senses. > [@](#): > > The CEO would be proud. Teamwork, he had said, was the key to survival here. At the dusk of the fifth Day since his departure, something must have smiled down on you. > > The team gathered around **Diomedes** in the central courtyard. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, he looked from face to face, searching for pity, or succor. He found nothing. Everyone was certain he was either a murderer or was part of the conspiracy to commit mass murder. Or, if certain members were not certain, they had agreed to this course of action and were bound to see it through, no matter what it did to the stock price, or their pension plan. > > **HazelNutCoffee** stepped up and began the execution, with harsh words for the condemmed. “You know, a Limited Liability Partnership is a chickenshit way of doing things. Either own your decisions, or be a silent investor. This nonsense about trying to have it both ways is just cowardly.” With those biting comments still ringing in everyone’s ears, she reached to her belt and unfastened it, drawing it slowly from around her waist until it hung from her outstretched hand like a wide strap of pure malice. Once, twice, thrice she slashed it diagonally across whatever part of **Diomedes** she could reach. Her eyes were cold, but her mouth held a hint of a smile, as she continued to strike him. > > “Oh God,” cried **Diomedes** , “why are you doing this, I’m innocent, I swear!” > > No mercy was in the team that day however. **brewha** took up where **HazelNutCoffee** had left off. A conflicted soul, yet determined to do what was right for the team, regardless of the cost. He took **Diomedes** by the collar, ignoring the rapidly swelling welts from the lashing, and marched **Diomedes** straight over to the iron pier above the tallest drop. A grip of adamant held the condemmed as he tetered near the precipice. “Confess,” was all **brewha** said. “I’m innocent!” came the cry from **Diomedes’** tormented lips. In reply **brewha** turned and thrust him back into the waiting group. A low stone bench caused **Diomedes** to fall and strike his head, opening a bloody rent in the back of his skull. He staggered to his feet and looked for a respite from his agony. > > **sachertorte** stopped **Diomedes** as he staggered back into the group, with suprisingly gentle hands. “We just want the nightmare to end **Diomedes** ,” he said reasonably. A reasonableness given lie by the action which accompanied the words. As **sachertorte** spoke, he twisted **Diomedes’** necktie, cruelly compressing the carteroid arteries and cutting off **Diomedes’** breath. A quick pivot and yank and **sachertorte** had flung the victim further into the group, who stood waiting to administer justice. > > **Hawkeyeop** stood his ground until the last second, as **Diomedes** , propelled fiercely by **sachertorte** , came straight at him. At the last possible moment he sidestepped, but left his foot in **Diomedes’** path. **Diomedes** tripped and fell, face first into the embers of the council fire they had built to decide who to execute that day. Hot coals seared his hands and chest, burning his flesh, and igniting his soul patch. As he gasped for air the sparks flew up into his mouth and nose, burning, burning, burning. **Hawkeyeop** watched him burn and was unmoved. > > Unable to speak, unwilling to continue to seek pity where there was none, **Diomedes** gathered his strength and fled towards the martial arts studio. The squishing of his feet in his wet shoes was eerily loud when constrasted with the silent menace of his executioners. > > **Pleonast** was in no hurry. The wet footprints(all the left foot) would lead him straight to **Diomedes**. He stalked his prey remorselessly. He had no grand plans to salvage this situation, but he could not ignore the danger **Diomedes** presented, nor the mandate of the team. As he reached the door to the studio he wrinkled his nose in disgust. He could never abide posers, and since **Diomedes** had loaded himself down with every weapon he could get his burning hands on, he looked like a walking weapon rack. **Pleonast** did not even have to dodge the throwing stars. **Diomedes** had no training or natural aptitude for the martial arts. In fact, he had already cut himself a large gash on his left thigh with a wakizashi, the fabric of his pants was sticking to his leg with a combination of blood and urine. **Pleonast** calmly picked up a throwing star and threw it casually, with deadly intent. **Diomedes** threw himself to one side to avoid the missile weapon, but staggered due to his wounded leg and heavily encumbered body. Most of his weapons clattered to the ground and his legs became entangled with a bokken he had discarded during his mad rush to arm himself. Another fall saw one of the throwing stars he had hastily tied to himself pierce his right bicep. > > **Diomedes** knew this was the end of his hopes for armed resistance. He threw as many weapons as he could at **Pleonast** and ran again. > > **Rysto** was waiting for him. With ruthless efficiency befitting a man seeking strong performance reviews, **Rysto** set about bringing punishment to the convicted man. Fingernails raked across the welts from his lashing. The tie was ripped from his neck. The burns on his face were gouged and places where his clothing was burned were ripped open to expose more flesh to the bitter cold. The entire left pant leg, soaking in blood and bodily wastes was ripped away, exposing the wounds and wet skin. **Diomedes** flopped on his stomach and twisted and turned like an earthworm cought out in the sunlight, with no shelter in sight. > > **Hal Briston** called **Rysto** away for a coffee break. **Hal Briston** , the mild-mannered, gentle soul, had had enough. Enough of the terror every night. Enough of wondering if he would wake up in the morning. Enough of constantly writing and re-writing his final letters to his family. Enough of the same old boring conversation over and over in the neighboring cubicles, and now it was time for someone to pay. **Diomedes** thought **Rysto** was brutal, but nothing prepared him for **Hal Briston’s** onslaught. **Hal Briston** , himself, was well prepared, with his camera on repeat burst mode on a nearby tripod. Only such a setting could capture the savage uppercuts which rocked **Diomedes** repeatedly, causing a whiplash effect all up and down his body. A series of hammering blows left **Diomedes** stunned and coughing up blood on the cold ground. > > **faithfool** knelt beside **Diomedes** , and calmly broke his nose with one open-palm strike. “You’ve had worse than that coming for a very long time,” she said. She stood unhurriedly and kicked him in the ribs, feeling the bones bend and break at the end of each blow. > > **zuma** focused his anger and shook off most of the effects of his early start on the evening’s drinking to contribute to the group’s effort. He rolled **Diomedes** over onto his hands and knees and barked “crawl!” **Diomedes** struggled, clearly favoring his right arm and left leg. Whenever he slipped in blood or tears, **zuma** was right there to yank up on the back of his waistband, sending ripples through his injured ribs and bringing bright red blood to each cough. “i take no pleausre in this” **zuma** said, as he reached down and tore **Diomedes’** left ear from the side of his head and left the misshapen cartiledge to hang free. With one final, savage kick to **Diomedes** backside, as he crawled through the courtyard, **zuma** stepped away. > > **Hockey Monkey** ended it with one swift movement. A stiletto heel driven through **Diomedes’** right temple stopped his wriggling immediately. He never saw it coming. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2008, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-solve-it-mafia-game/429636/1296 "2008-01-27T20:58:41Z")
… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2008, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-solve-it-mafia-game/429636/1297 "2008-01-27T21:02:51Z")
wha? ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2008, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-solve-it-mafia-game/429636/1298 "2008-01-27T21:05:27Z")
Lynch victims get death scenes too. Most have chosen not to do so, or like **mhaye** done something perfunctory, but **Diomedes** specifically asked for something, spectacular… Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2008, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-solve-it-mafia-game/429636/1299 "2008-01-27T21:32:10Z")
Well spectacular it was! ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2008, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-solve-it-mafia-game/429636/1300 "2008-01-27T21:34:38Z")
Nitpick - I prefer using birch switches to belts. 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-solve-it-mafia-game/429636.md?page=64) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-solve-it-mafia-game/429636.md?page=66)