# You spot an "alien" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 12, 2015, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-spot-an-alien/709593 "2015-01-12T03:08:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-spot-an-alien/709593/21 "2015-01-12T16:12:02Z")
I’d make sure my house is locked up and try to ignore it until it went away. Then I’d pretend I didn’t see anything. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-spot-an-alien/709593/22 "2015-01-12T16:12:40Z")
1st thought - too much spicy food before bed, I’m dreaming. 2nd thought - if I’m not dreaming no one is ever going to believe me and nothing good would come of trying, for me nor the alien. 3rd thought - capture or kill (for proof), but it probably possesses superior weaponry and intelligence meaning I would likely be the one to end up captured or killed. Solution -go back to bed. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-spot-an-alien/709593/23 "2015-01-12T16:13:59Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > I walk out, kiss and embrace it, and declare my undying love. So, Di-Fool is, like, some weird, self-fulfilling suicide prophesy? 🙂 Hopefully, I figure a way to capture it alive. Failing that, shoot it. And I’m posting on the net and contacting the media before contacting any government agencies. Not that I’m a CT nutter or anything but a little healthy paranoia never hurt anyone. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-spot-an-alien/709593/24 "2015-01-12T16:16:37Z")
Any alien that could reach us has sufficient technology that they could go undetected if they wanted. The fact that I’m seeing it means that it wants me to, which suggests that it wants to communicate with me in some way. So I would attempt to oblige it. While also attempting to get as many pictures/videos of it as I could, of course. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-spot-an-alien/709593/25 "2015-01-12T16:47:21Z")
> [@Namkcalb](#): > > Ringing the authorities makes sense, but I’m not sure what they’d believe. Make up a story that fits your area. “It looks really weird. Maybe the right size to be a bear but it looks the wrong color. Do you think that might mean it has rabies? I think it’s trying to get into my neighbor’s house - the ones with the new baby.” That’ll get the cops out there. They’ll understand later that you couldn’t properly identify an alien. ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-spot-an-alien/709593/26 "2015-01-12T17:58:22Z")
With all those legs I’d be heating up the deep fryer! Then I’d have to decide,. 308 or will a 9mm be adequate? ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-spot-an-alien/709593/27 "2015-01-12T18:22:51Z")
> [@GaryM](#): > > … Then I’d have to decide,. 308 or will a 9mm be adequate? It’s an Alien fer gosh sake! Nuke it from orbit; it’s the only … ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-spot-an-alien/709593/28 "2015-01-12T18:39:32Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Any alien that could reach us has sufficient technology that they could go undetected if they wanted. The fact that I’m seeing it means that it wants me to, which suggests that it wants to communicate with me in some way. So I would attempt to oblige it. It may mean that it is hungry. Are you familiar with duck decoys? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-spot-an-alien/709593/29 "2015-01-12T19:15:56Z")
He’s reading a cookbook! ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-spot-an-alien/709593/30 "2015-01-12T23:24:15Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > I walk out, kiss and embrace it, and declare my undying love. Kirk!!! > [@G0sp3l](#): > > Hopefully, I figure a way to capture it alive. Failing that, shoot it. And I’m posting on the net and contacting the media before contacting any government agencies. Not that I’m a CT nutter or anything but a little healthy paranoia never hurt anyone. I think capturing it might be taken the way, but if it goes berzerk and you end up capturing it, showing it this [100% truthful video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wIVzG0p9U4) should get it to play nice. > [@dracoi](#): > > That’ll get the cops out there. They’ll understand later that you couldn’t properly identify an alien. Smart thinking… besides, the more people who see it, the more likely this won’t be forgotten. > [@Jragon](#): > > Counterpoint: Hugs! Hugging might be seen as aggressive. I’d show it my hands are empty, then get my phone with a slideshow of people and human things. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Kane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Kane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Kane)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2015, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-spot-an-alien/709593/31 "2015-01-12T23:37:27Z")
I think I’d just most probably assume I’ve lost my mind. Or I’d give it some peanut butter and play some Led Zeppelin to it. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2015, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-spot-an-alien/709593/32 "2015-01-13T00:15:15Z")
> [@G0sp3l](#): > > So, Di-Fool is, like, some weird, self-fulfilling suicide prophesy? John DiFool was an anti-hero in Jodorowski-and-Giraud’s _The Incal_. I remember his best line as, “_I don’t want to die, and I certainly don’t want to suffer_”, when faced with dismemberment by the cardioclaw. So, yeah, expect him to take questionable risks. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2015, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-spot-an-alien/709593/33 "2015-01-13T01:59:57Z")
Yep. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2015, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-spot-an-alien/709593/34 "2015-01-13T06:19:10Z")
> [@Namkcalb](#): > > Hugging might be seen as aggressive. I’d show it my hands are empty which it will interpret as you exposing your third set of external genitalia at it, the gravest insult in the Inner Core systems… …by which I mean, you really can’t tell with an alien. Best hope it’s _really_ intelligent. ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2015, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-spot-an-alien/709593/35 "2015-01-13T08:19:16Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > which it will interpret as you exposing your third set of external genitalia at it, the gravest insult in the Inner Core systems… The stupid alien can’t count, I’m exposing both my third and my fourth set.🙂 Seriously though, I’m not certain I’ll not totally freak out, take my trousers off and do a handstand, clapping a weird rhythm with my feet whilst extending something towards them. Maybe I should practice hand walking in the offchance we aren’t alone in this universe. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2015, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-spot-an-alien/709593/36 "2015-01-13T08:28:21Z")
I’m British, so I offer it a cup of tea. Unless I see it emerge from a cylinder to hot to touch, then I cough on it and run. ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2015, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-spot-an-alien/709593/37 "2015-01-13T08:46:14Z")
> [@Mr.Kobayashi](#): > > I’m British, so I offer it a cup of tea. Unless I see it emerge from a cylinder to hot to touch, then I cough on it and run. I’d cough on it, then ask Cameron to name the new aircraft carrier HMS Thunderchild. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2015, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-spot-an-alien/709593/38 "2015-01-13T11:52:29Z")
> [@Namkcalb](#): > > I’d cough on it, then ask Cameron to name the new aircraft carrier HMS Thunderchild. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2015, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-spot-an-alien/709593/39 "2015-01-13T16:21:04Z")
I think I would probably stare at it silently, watching for nervous modesty moves. If I were to reach for my camera, it would surely flit away. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2015, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-spot-an-alien/709593/40 "2015-01-13T16:27:17Z")
> [@Mr.Kobayashi](#): > > I’m British, so I offer it a cup of tea. Unless I see it emerge from a cylinder to hot to touch, then I cough on it and run. I’d have expected a Brit to grab a towel and head to pub. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-spot-an-alien/709593.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-spot-an-alien/709593.md?page=3)