# You theiving cunt **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 25, 2005, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-theiving-cunt/301043 "2005-04-25T16:40:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-theiving-cunt/301043/161 "2005-04-27T21:01:05Z")
And **Maureen** , I should point out that the only reason I haven’t given you a royal round of “attagirls” is that most other folks have. You did not only the right thing, but a difficult thing. I wish more people would stand up for what they believe in. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-theiving-cunt/301043/162 "2005-04-27T21:08:58Z")
**Maureen** , you absolutely should’ve stuck your nose into things. You’re a manager: managers get paid the big bucks to deal with problems. The file clerk doesn’t get paid the big bucks to deal with these things. And he definitely isn’t getting paid to learn a life lesson. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-theiving-cunt/301043/163 "2005-04-27T21:09:14Z")
Sh, no. I don’t require all my hangers on to worship at my feet. You could always offer me a Mercedes for oral sex… ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-theiving-cunt/301043/164 "2005-04-27T21:11:11Z")
Done. The offer that is. You’ll get the Benz right after that other part. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-theiving-cunt/301043/165 "2005-04-27T21:15:08Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > Done. The offer that is. You’ll get the Benz right after that other part. “Benz”? Is that what the kids are calling it these days? ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-theiving-cunt/301043/166 "2005-04-27T22:17:14Z")
> [@Pedro](#): > > I repeat what I said… “If I go rob a bank and **have a car accident on the way there and end up in the hospital instead** , I can’t be charged with bank robbery.” Notice specifically that I didn’t say anything about written notes which would prove a criminal intent. That is true as far as it goes, but you can be charged with _attempted_ bank robbery. From what I recall from my criminal law class long ago, attempt is when a person with intent to commit a crime takes an action toward committing the crime. By intending to rob the bank and starting to drive there, you’ve completed the crime of attempted bank robbery, even though outside circumstances thwarted you before you could complete the bank robbery. Here we had what seems to be an attempted misappropriation of the boom box. Joan took the box and put it under her desk with the intent to coerce Elliot into trading it to her, and then announced her intent to the other employees. **Maureen** (Joan’s supervisor) heard what was going on and took the box directly to Elliot, thwarting the attempted conversion. Joan sought to do something over the line and was thwarted before she could. If this was where it had stopped, the situation was probably ambiguous enough that there would have been little cause for most people to make a formal report over it. There was always the possibility that Joan could have given Elliot the box without an offer, or have offered to swap in a non-coercive way. However, what makes this egregious is that after she was thwarted, she exploded that “her” box had been taken, an unmistakable admission that she believed that she had already acquired the box, not that she was holding it for a potential trade. That, combined with her reaction with Maureen’s boss was simply unacceptable. ---
**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-theiving-cunt/301043/167 "2005-04-27T22:50:19Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > **Pedro** , do yourself a favor here. Go back to lurking. Ouch! That hurts! I don’t think I care to do that. It’s fine by me if you all disagree. I stand by everything I said. Of course Joan was unethical and a bitch. I simpathise with Elliot and, again, I think Maureen deserves praise for helping him keep his boombox. Try to understand that I repudiate in the strongest terms possible Joan’s behaviour. Nothing I said so far indicates otherwise. Moving on… I just expressed an opinion about how I think the situation could have been handled better by Maureen. That’s my only point of contention, if you want to call it that. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-theiving-cunt/301043/168 "2005-04-27T22:59:04Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > **Pedro** , do yourself a favor here. Go back to lurking. That’s a little unfair. By all means, if you think he’s spouting bullshit, tell him so. But i think this board benefits from having more voices, not fewer, and that asking people not to participate in the conversation just because you don’t like what they say is counterproductive. ---
**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-theiving-cunt/301043/169 "2005-04-27T23:03:15Z")
> [@Maus Magill](#): > > Why should he have to insist to claim something that is rightfully his? He shouldn’t have, and that’s exactly when it would have been appropriate to intervene on his behalf. ---
**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-theiving-cunt/301043/170 "2005-04-27T23:14:40Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > Not supposed intentions. Stated intentions. There is a world of difference. According to the OP, Joan didn’t state her intentions, it was Maureen’s conjecture. Her conjecture was true. It doesn’t change the validity of my argument, because of what you said. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-theiving-cunt/301043/171 "2005-04-27T23:17:54Z")
If I found out that my coworker had, unasked, snuck the raffle prize I’d won from under another coworker’s desk, and that the thieving coworker had subsequently launched a huge hissy-fit at her; well, that’d make me kind of uncomfortable. If, however, I found out that my coworkers had known about the theft, had had ample opportunity to reclaim my stuff without confrontation and give it back to me, but did nothing, leaving me to deal with the coworker’s hissy-fit myself, I’d be even more uncomfortable. ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-theiving-cunt/301043/172 "2005-04-27T23:18:12Z")
No **Pedro** , the OP was told by somone Joan had DIRECTLY told her plans to. So yes, she knew Joan’s stated intentions via a reliable witness. ---
**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-theiving-cunt/301043/173 "2005-04-27T23:24:30Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > Well, then, how about the note she put on his monitor? Not “Hey, you won! I took your boombox for safekeeping” but “Come see me Monday.” Like she had something to discuss with him. That’s not proof of anything. She could have wanted to make a surprise, or just usually write really curt notes. > [@](#): > > I can see what you’re saying, and that you’re not defending Joan and her intentions, but do you think that if **Maureen** had sent Elliot over to refuse a trade with Joan, that there’d have been any less drama? “You don’t want my gift certificate? But- but- you already HAVE a boom box! It’s not FAIR!” This is a woman who’s flinging accusations of sexual impropriety in the office, over a fuckin boom box. At 17, the kid doesn’t need to deal with a psycho like that. > > It sounds like **Maureen** knows Joan pretty well, and how she would react. It doesn’t matter what any random smart person might have said to make Maureen look bad for filching the boom box; in this case it only matters that it wouldn’t have occurred to Joan (and obviously didn’t) that she wouldn’t necessarily appear to be in the wrong if she didn’t admit she never intended to give it to Elliot. Thanks, I appreciate that you understood what I meant. If it were me I’d rather not take the boombox before any inappropriate behaviour has occured but your points are well taken. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-theiving-cunt/301043/174 "2005-04-27T23:25:15Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > That’s a little unfair. By all means, if you think he’s spouting bullshit, tell him so. But i think this board benefits from having more voices, not fewer, and that asking people not to participate in the conversation just because you don’t like what they say is counterproductive. :rolleyes: Way to jump to conlcusions there. I was pointing out to **Pedro** that his line of argument is a dead end. ---
**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-theiving-cunt/301043/175 "2005-04-27T23:26:39Z")
> [@Zabali\_Clawbane](#): > > No **Pedro** , the OP was told by somone Joan had DIRECTLY told her plans to. So yes, she knew Joan’s stated intentions via a reliable witness. Where does it say that? If that’s the case I withdraw my objections and apologize for the misunderstanding. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-theiving-cunt/301043/176 "2005-04-27T23:28:30Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > If I found out that my coworker had, unasked, snuck the raffle prize I’d won from under another coworker’s desk, and that the thieving coworker had subsequently launched a huge hissy-fit at her; well, that’d make me kind of uncomfortable. > > If, however, I found out that my coworkers had known about the theft, had had ample opportunity to reclaim my stuff without confrontation and give it back to me, but did nothing, leaving me to deal with the coworker’s hissy-fit myself, I’d be even more uncomfortable. Something like that did happen to a poster here. Christmas before last, I think it was. He (I’m pretty sure it was a he) was at the Christmas party, but had to leave to work third shift. In his absence, the raffle drawing took place, and he won $500(?). A co-worker claimed it. Not on his behalf; he claimed it outright. Even though the guy who won had no choice in not being there for the drawing. But it was all good, because the co-worker spent some of the money on a painting for our fellow Doper. What a saint! :smack: IIRC, the Doper was reluctant to pursue this, because he feared the rest of the staff would think he was having a hissy-fit. At the time, I wasn’t sure, but if the co-worker was clear about his intention to keep the money rather than pass it on to the winner, and the others didn’t question this, then yeah, they probably would have. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-theiving-cunt/301043/177 "2005-04-27T23:36:42Z")
> [@Pedro](#): > > Where does it say that? If that’s the case I withdraw my objections and apologize for the misunderstanding. > [@Me](#): > > Well. The day ends, and one of my coworkers tells me “So. Did you see what Joan did?” I’m a little scared to ask what, as this woman is drama waiting to happen. I say “nooo…” and wait for it. > > Joan picked up Elliott’s boom box and offered to carry it upstairs for him. His manager says fine, thanks, that’d be great. Does she do this? Yes and no. She carries it upstairs. And puts it under her desk! And leaves a note on Elliott’s monitor: “Come see me Monday.” Why, you ask? Well, see, she’s upset. She only won a $20 gift cert from Best Buy. She didn’t feel that was enough. So she is going to give Elliott the option of taking either the boom box or the gift cert. Because, you see, he already has a boom box. And, she doesn’t. That was Joan’s justification to my coworker. She only got a “lousy $20 gift card to Best Buy,” and Elliott, a kid who already had a boombox, got another one “he didn’t need.” It was not something I made up out of the blue. Really. And, she relayed that she would “take it upstairs for him” to his supervisor. Not to me. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-theiving-cunt/301043/178 "2005-04-27T23:37:15Z")
> [@](#): > > **Maureen** : And people with the exact same disability who accept it and incorproate it into their lives and do their best to adjust. These people are generally more successful, have fewer difficulties doing their work and generally go through less meds (although I have no hard numbers to back that up; it’s my personal observation.). It all comes down to who you were before you became disabled, and who you want to be and are willing to work to be now. Just like people without a disability. **Maureen** , you handled this situation well. As I’ve said, I think that Joan needs to be out the door. I have no doubt that you do your job well and have earned your position of authority in the workplace. Mentally ill people never have the “exact same disability.” Just as there are different kinds of cancer that affect different parts of the body and different individuals react in different ways, so it is with mental illness. Different people have different kinds of clinical depression. And within those different kinds of clinical depression, different people respond to different kinds of medication in different combinations at different levels for different periods of time. It is **not** just a matter of who “accepts” it and who doesn’t. If people take fewer medications, maybe it’s because their mental illness is not as severe. That’s just one hypothesis. It’s not like we _choose_ to be mentally ill. Those of us who have been hospitalized have been given _some_ training in appropriate behaviors – assertiveness as opposed to aggressiveness, non-manipulative behaviors, etc. So we are expected to be responsible, _as best we can_, for our behaviors. But that varies a lot from individual to individual. So while I can understand suspending her or firing her and I can understand not liking her or her actions, and I can understand anyone who sees her as an asshole, I can’t quite get my mind around why people expect her to be able to control the symptoms of her illness by having a better attitude when the organ in the body which controls attitude adjustment is what is 'broken." ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-theiving-cunt/301043/179 "2005-04-27T23:40:50Z")
No, no, **Zoe**. I’m so sorry for the misunderstanding. When I said “the same disability,” I meant, I have seen people who share the same disability (as in, both people have lost a limb, or both people suffer from the same mental disorder) yet handle it differently. ---
**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-theiving-cunt/301043/180 "2005-04-27T23:49:02Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > That was Joan’s justification to my coworker. She only got a “lousy $20 gift card to Best Buy,” and Elliott, a kid who already had a boombox, got another one “he didn’t need.” It was not something I made up out of the blue. Really. And, she relayed that she would “take it upstairs for him” to his supervisor. Not to me. I didn’t realise that was something Joan actually said and that your coworker relayed to you. I shouldn’t be too surprised about it after reading about the other meltdowns. I’m sorry I misinterpreted your OP. That makes a lot more sense. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-theiving-cunt/301043.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-theiving-cunt/301043.md?page=10)