# You think YOU'VE been to a titty bar? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 7, 2004, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-think-youve-been-to-a-titty-bar/263511 "2004-09-07T17:53:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2004, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-think-youve-been-to-a-titty-bar/263511/1 "2004-09-07T17:53:06Z")
[Link](http://news.excite.com/odd/article/id/349763%7Coddlyenough%7C09-07-2004::09:48%7Creuters.html) > [@](#): > > MBABANE (Reuters) - Swaziland’s King Mswati, sub-Saharan Africa’s last absolute monarch, has chosen a 16-year-old beauty queen as his 13th wife following a ceremony at which 20,000 bare-breasted maidens danced in his honor. There are still places in the world like this, outside of Utah? ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2004, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-think-youve-been-to-a-titty-bar/263511/2 "2004-09-07T18:02:28Z")
They were _maidens_ so your comparison to the LDS community in Utah doesn’t hold even if polygamy were still widely practiced there. Disregarding that though, so long as they weren’t forced, what’s the big deal? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2004, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-think-youve-been-to-a-titty-bar/263511/3 "2004-09-07T18:07:20Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > so long as they weren’t forced, what’s the big deal? What, 20,000 bare-breasted babes dancing in one place isn’t a big deal?? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Moto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2004, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-think-youve-been-to-a-titty-bar/263511/4 "2004-09-07T18:09:03Z")
What can I tell you, **Trunk**? I’ve been to places where human life seems terribly cheap. And though cultural differences may make it impolite to say so, much of this should be rejected as objectively wrong. Is it right for a teenaged girl to me married off, willingly or not, to a corrupt king? I don’t think so. I also don’t think it’s right for other teenaged girls to be turning tricks in filthy South American bars for $4 a turn. I think any of these girls would willingly trade this for middle class drudgery in Utah, your wiseassed remarks notwithstanding. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2004, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-think-youve-been-to-a-titty-bar/263511/5 "2004-09-07T18:17:55Z")
$4??? You got gypped. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2004, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-think-youve-been-to-a-titty-bar/263511/6 "2004-09-07T18:19:06Z")
Even given the history of the LDS folk, somehow, when I think of Utah, neither titties nor polygyny comes to mind. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2004, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-think-youve-been-to-a-titty-bar/263511/7 "2004-09-07T18:28:58Z")
Yeah, the OP is kind of confusing. Are we supposed to be (a) outraged that a 16 year old girl is getting married, (b) outraged that (possibly younger than is considered “legal” in most countries, and maybe even Swaziland) “maidens” were dancing topless, or © titillated that there were 40,000 naked breasts in one place? “Can somebody please tell me if we’re supposed to be enjoying this???”–Bloom County and if the answer is (b) or ©, when the _heck_ did that ever happen in Utah? ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2004, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-think-youve-been-to-a-titty-bar/263511/8 "2004-09-07T18:33:53Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > What, 20,000 bare-breasted babes dancing in one place isn’t a big deal?? After a certain point, I imagine it would get rather boring, much like porn does after you’ve sated your appetite. Less is sometimes more. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2004, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-think-youve-been-to-a-titty-bar/263511/9 "2004-09-07T18:41:24Z")
> [@](#): > > You think YOU’VE been to a titty bar? > > * * * > > Link > > Quote: > MBABANE (Reuters) - Swaziland’s King Mswati, sub-Saharan Africa’s last absolute monarch, has chosen a 16-year-old beauty queen as his 13th wife following a ceremony at which 20,000 bare-breasted maidens danced in his honor. > There are still places in the world like this, outside of Utah? I spent four years in Utah. I can swear that you cannot get legal bare breasts in a Utah “titty bar”. It’s true that there are lots of attractive maidens in Utah, even in the technical sense, but the odds of getting even 0.001% of them to dance bare-breasted at once is virtually zero. So your comparison makes no sense. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2004, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-think-youve-been-to-a-titty-bar/263511/10 "2004-09-07T18:47:51Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Yeah, the OP is kind of confusing. Are we supposed to be > > (a) outraged that a 16 year old girl is getting married, > (b) outraged that (possibly younger than is considered “legal” in most countries, and maybe even Swaziland) “maidens” were dancing topless, or > (c) titillated that there were 40,000 naked breasts in one place? > > “Can somebody please tell me if we’re supposed to be enjoying this???”–Bloom County > > and if the answer is (b) or (c), when the heck did that ever happen in Utah? a) Outraged at nothing. Not the pit. b) Laughing uproariously at my hilarious comparison of the polygamy aspect to Utah. Uproariously. c) Slightly tickled at the thought of 20,000(!) topless dancing girls. (.)(.) ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2004, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-think-youve-been-to-a-titty-bar/263511/11 "2004-09-07T19:02:24Z")
Considering Swaziland is only 3% European, those should be brown, not pink. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2004, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-think-youve-been-to-a-titty-bar/263511/12 "2004-09-07T19:07:50Z")
(**[size=14].**)( **.** )[/size] x 20,000 ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2004, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-think-youve-been-to-a-titty-bar/263511/13 "2004-09-07T19:19:41Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > Considering Swaziland is only 3% European, those should be brown, not pink. So, 1,200 pink ones and 38,800 brown ones? I’m not sure why, but this whole thing has gotten a certain (bastardized) line from a Procul Harum song stuck in my head. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2004, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-think-youve-been-to-a-titty-bar/263511/14 "2004-09-07T19:20:17Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > a) Outraged at nothing. Not the pit. > > b) Laughing uproariously at my hilarious comparison of the polygamy aspect to Utah. Uproariously. > > c) Slightly tickled at the thought of 20,000(!) topless dancing girls. Ah. It’s funny, then. I see. Thanks for clearing that up. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2004, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-think-youve-been-to-a-titty-bar/263511/15 "2004-09-07T19:26:06Z")
Hey, wait! You hijacked my (b)! Mine was about being outraged about possible topless teens, but yours was about making a joking connection to polygamy! That’s… that’s… misrepresentation, that’s what it is! I’m outraged. Or amused. I get them confused a lot. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2004, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-think-youve-been-to-a-titty-bar/263511/16 "2004-09-07T20:53:18Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > So, 1,200 pink ones and 38,800 brown ones? > > I’m not sure why, but this whole thing has gotten a certain (bastardized) line from a Procul Harum song stuck in my head. Well, to be really pedantic, those 1,200 European breasts wouldn’t neccesarily be pink either but I think we’re reaching critical nitpicking mass here. Too much more and the thread will implode, sucking the SDMB, VBulletin, and the 'net as a whole into the newly formed abyss. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2004, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-think-youve-been-to-a-titty-bar/263511/17 "2004-09-07T21:13:03Z")
\*\* (.)(.) (.)(.) (.)(.) (.)(.) (.)(.) (.)(.) (.)(.) (.)(.) (.)(.) (.)(.) (.)(.) \*\* I like tiny titties. Plus, I edited down for sanity’s sake ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2004, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-think-youve-been-to-a-titty-bar/263511/18 "2004-09-07T21:39:34Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > There are still places in the world like this, outside of Utah? I went to a tittie bar in Utah (the night before my cousin’s wedding) and all the girls were wearing pasties on their nipples, so, bad comparison. ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2004, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-think-youve-been-to-a-titty-bar/263511/19 "2004-09-07T23:25:45Z")
In the OP, I believe **Trunk** was referring to Utah’s “tradition” of Mormon polygamy and NOT Utah’s reputation for topless bars. I want a show of hands: how many entered this thread because you thought it might have a link to a photo? (I know I did.) And on a more serious note, Mr Moto did mention that on a worldwide scale, women are not treated that well. Personally, I think “the King” (I’m not bothering to find his name again) is a supreme asshole !!! What a jerk. In a country with limited economic resources, the article mentioned that the royal lifestyle was quite a burden on their treasury. AND this jerk is refusing to institute democratic reforms into his country. (Yeah, why spread all the fun around when it can all be spent on one selfish jerk). Lincoln and Kennedy get shot and yet _ **this** _ guy stays alive !!! And as I’ve said so ofen, it’s time once again for my medication. ---
**Author:** ![Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krisfer_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2004, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-think-youve-been-to-a-titty-bar/263511/20 "2004-09-08T01:54:53Z")
As a native Utahn_waves to Cal_ I won’t even go into the polygamy thing… other than to say umm yeah sure we do that all the time we just hide it when you heathen are looking. 😃 As far as devil’s advocate goes, sounds rather like a sweet gig being in a royal harem in a third world country: food, clothing, health care, won’t be worn out by hard labor or dead prematurely from constant pregnancy… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-think-youve-been-to-a-titty-bar/263511.md?page=2)