I would go immediately to the biggest and baddest law firm in the area and have an ironclad legal document drawn up with how much each relative was to get, and that if anything were to happen to me it all goes to some charity.
I would also put a clause in about kidnappings, blackmail, etc.
Once that was in place, legally speaking, then I’d tell the family.
I’d split it 50-50 with my sister who would immediately divide her share with her kids and grand kids. With the 50% I would keep, I’d buy a very good friend a new house and then I would sit back and gloat while rubbing myself all over with new $100.00 bills. I don’t think I would even buy a new car; I’ve got everything I need and I don’t expect to live that much longer anyway. When I’m D & G my sister’s kids will get whatever is left.
I would put myself on the front page of all local newspapers.
I would wait for the letters asking for cash to start rolling in.
I would stamp them all with my new stamp and return them to the senders:
FUCK YOU!
Lady, I like your style 
I would tell my wife, obviously, but nobody else until I had the money in my hot little hands. Then we tell our financial guy, and he invests it for us. Then I tell the kids, and my family.
I would probably quit my job after a decent interval - a month or so after the first dividend check comes in. I wouldn’t tell them why - just that I decided to retire, and found myself in a position to be able to do so.
Requests for money are met with a polite “No thank you”. If they ask for a reason, it’s “Sorry, no”.
I have a relative who went thru something like this. Not winning the lottery, but coming into a large cash windfall suddenly which was a matter of public knowledge. Everybody was coming out of the woodwork and sniffing around for a piece of it.
Regards,
Shodan
your house/apartment would be broken into before you received the first letter.
My wife, then an attorney. Maybe an attorney first depending on timing.
Great plan!
Additionally, we have already worked out the scenario - I would tell everyone that my SO inherited a large sum of money from his great aunt (no mention of amount) and thus when anyone asked me for money, I would say it is really “his” and that I can’t very well just parcel it out.
He would say the same to his family and friends, with me being the recipient of the large sum of money from my great aunt.
Sure, people would notice the large house and newer cars, but other than that, they don’t need to know any more.
Most immediate family members will get gifts of cash in a lump sum, one will get a new home (in my name until I die so she cannot mortgage it and lose it in a year), a few will get monthly payments so they cannot blow it in a wild weekend, and one lazy, deadbeat cousin of the SO who will be the first to call us will get the good news/bad news: We will give you TRIPLE what you actually EARN for the next ten years - but show us the IRS tax statement of earnings each year. (This person has hardly worked a day in their life, despite a great education and no physical or mental disabilities.) We figure even a minimum wage job, plus triple the wage, might be an incentive to actually do something for once.
I would tell Mr. Dox (the dog), cause he can keep a secret.
I’d tell the wife and the cats, and that’s about it. After I contacted a good tax guy and an investment firm that specializes in such things, I’d cash in the ticket in the name of a faceless trust. The trust would then buy us a new house or three, all outfitted the way we like. Then at the end of the current school year I’d just retire and vanish.
Then the fun starts…a few scholarship funds for kids of friends, a nice chunk to the local animal shelter, stuff like that. Family doesn’t get told squat. $10 million gets stashed overseas as “emergency funds,” out of reach of both my investment firm and Uncle Sam. That way I can live well if forced to leave the country, and I can also afford to have anybody who mismanages or embezzles from me killed.
Yeah, and they’d take your Fuck You stamp, too.
mmm
But of course, you no longer live in your pre-lottery residence. Instead, a small tribe of underfed adult male chimpanzees are kept there, in an inner room whose door only opens after one enters the outer room, and after the automatic motion-detecting steel door without a handle drops down from a recess in the ceiling.
My favorite lottery dream plan is to hire a minion to answer my phone and creatively reject requests for cash. I think the job interview process would be a hoot!
But first you make them endure some kind of bizarre, potentially humiliating interviewing process, right?
Exactly the OPPOSITE. They have the power. They just need to prove they’re evil enough to use it.
Sample interview questions:
Your mother calls and asks for a loan. Please describe your rejection process.
You are to call and preemptively reject one religious organization per day. Please tell me who would be the first, why and how you would reject them.
If it’s my choice who to tell, my husband and I are the only ones who would know the truth. We’d have to tell family and a few close friends something to explain why we’re suddenly able to buy a nice house and make large gifts to family members who need it, though. We might say we won a much smaller lottery, or I could spend a couple years pretending to start my own small business (which I’ve always wanted to do) that does shockingly well. I figure that’d only be half a lie, since managing that kind of a windfall would be a job in its own right.
I’m told that it’s best to stop and think for a few months before making any major life changes after getting a windfall, so that’d lend itself to the ‘starting a business of my own’ fiction. I’d spend a few months talking about this little business I’m trying to get going, eventually leave my day job to go at it full time, and a bit after that go looking for a house “since I’ve done well enough to have a down payment now”. No-one needs to know that I paid cash for it. A couple years later I can start paying off mortgages, paying for college, setting up retirement funds, etc. for some people, and swear each of them to secrecy (since I don’t really have money to do this for everyone… yeah right). My family’s pretty good at keeping their mouths shut, especially when it comes to money, so I think it’d work well. I’d set up a trust for my cousin with Down’s Syndrome, and I doubt his parents would keep that entirely under wraps, so people might connect the dots and figure I’m doing better than I’m telling anyone. Most of my family share the mindset that it’s rude to flaunt wealth, though, so they’d actually be sympathetic to my cover-up.
In my area I believe lottery winners must disclose their name and hometown, though. If everyone knows, that changes the picture considerably. I’ll definitely wait as long as I can to claim it, and spend my time putting together a financial and legal team and considering what I want the rest of my life to look like. I’d give work enough notice to hire and train someone before I head out. I’d throw a MASSIVE going-away party, which will hopefully be enough to make people feel like they’ve gotten some benefit from my windfall and cut down on the amount of bad feelings. Then I’ll move to my own gated compound with security, and do my best to live a quasi-normal life. Pleas for money would be redirected to my investment team, who would be hired for their ability to investigate the truth of the matter and say no as necessary.
If you tell one person you might as well tell everyone. There is no way they will keep it a secret.
Have a trust redeem the ticket. This will hopefully avoid the random strangers approaching you for cash along with all the other lottery winners.
I tell no one, get a lawyer, collect the money, set up a trust to handle the money, and then become the guy that people in later years asky “hey, remember Bo? Whatever happened to him?”
I wouldn’t quit my job–I work for a charitable organization and would donate a lot as I believe in what we are doing–but I’d definitely hire a secretary. Share the love.
The vast majority, in fact, would go into trusts for my and my boss’ salaries and programs in our non-profit. Then a college fund for the kids and buy a nice house. That would take care of most, if not all of it. If I have a salary for life (not exorbitant) and own a house I don’t need the rest of it and am happy to share.
Even if I didn’t work for a charity I’d probably do something similar. Set up some kind of trust for living expenses and donate the rest.
Oh, and whom to tell and how? First boss and our board, and my family. Beyond that who cares?
I’d quit work immediately after hiring a financial manager and being given the “OK” from them. I probably wouldn’t explain why or give 2 weeks’ notice, because I don’t want to be bothered. Hopefully the people I work with wouldn’t figure it out and beg me for money before I was long-gone. Although it might be hard to resist the urge to gloat on the way out the door. 
Then I’d move to Oregon, where I’ve always wanted to live, and rent a fabulous penthouse while looking for a house to buy. And then, to notify people, I’d start sending them checks. I’d send my mom and sister a few million each, at least. Other friends and family members I like would get checks from 50-500k (depending how much I like them). Anyone I don’t like gets a check for 1 penny.
Once I get my mansion picked out and get moved in and the place is furnished, I’m turning an entire floor into a no-kill cat shelter.