Well, spears and crude pole arms were peasant solutions to dealing with knights (rather than cheese knives or hatchets). So who am I to second guess some peasant?
Of course, they were dealing with mounted, armored knights and not some angry guy running at you to punch you to death, I’m combining my answers: A trebuchet loaded with pole arms. Like a big pole arm rain-of-death shotgun 
Sure, though a lot more of those peasants died than the knights, and my guess is that most SDMB members aren’t nearly as fit as the average peasant. 
I was thinking of a spear or maybe a staff, since I have some training with a staff and a spear is just a staff with a pointy end, and certainly that would be my second choice, but I think the cross bow is something that really anyone can use without a lot of training and is pretty intuitive…you basically point it at the target, pull a lever and there you go. If you miss, well, you could use it as a club I guess or throw it at the knight and run (or, if you are smart, fire it from ambush when he’s sleeping at night, giving you much better odds on running and hiding if you miss).
I think that most or all of us responding to this thread would be dead meat if it came down to a real fight, regardless, so for me I’ll take my one crossbow shot as better odds.
Did you mean this Claymore or the Braveheart kind?
Seriously though. Weren’t most knights just some rich jerk who could afford armor and a sword and an entourage of squires, pages and men at arms? What’s so hard about smashing this guy’s head in with any of those weapons?
Even a knight that wasn’t all that proficiently trained is still a way better fighter than me with any weapon. I’ll also go for you sending me a montypythonesque “old peasant lady” disguise and running away as fast as I can.
I know what foxglove and monkshood look like, is there any of that around? I’m going with crossbow at short range, followed by running away.
If I’ve got the opportunity I see no point in relying solely on steel vs. flesh. Absent plant toxins, a generous smear of readily available (and, regrettably, copious) human excrement will augment the wound. My neck being wrung forthwith, my principle regret will be my inability to witness the festering death in store for the unreasonable cuckold.
I chose the short sword, with which I will proceed to flail around embarassingly, likely eviscerating myself in the process, hopefully either sending the knight into paroxysms of incapacitating laughter, or making him realize that I’m too far beneath his honor to kill.
That, or I’ll fake a heart attack. Or maybe actually get one.
I’m a reasonably attractive woman and have all of my teeth, a good arse and nice skin.
I’ll just have to hope that he’s only recently returned from the crusades and lonely, and offer him some ale.
Poisoned ale.
I always carry some poison when going through theoretical timey-wimey holes.
And that poor Lucrezia got blamed for everything.
I wouldn’t want the crossbow. Loading would take too long, and I could miss. And even if I don’t miss, I could hit a non-vital area. And even if I hit a vital area he might be alive long enough to take us both out. It just doesn’t cut it with one shot.
Even more with the bow - the skill required is just too great. Unless you are quite skilled with the bow, what stops him from dropping to the ground whenever you loose your arrow?
Any sort of polearm would be out for me too - this guy is quick and used to battle. If he gets his hands on it who’s in control?
Warhammer/axes - they are too heavy. He could just stay out of your range and tire you out before killing you.
I’d feel most comfortable with a sword, a light one with some reach. Most likely the falchion sword. A claymore would be too heavy and a short short might put him too close. Plus, if he tries to grab the thing he will get cut up instead.
What are the differences between the broadsword, claymore, greatsword, longsword and zweihander?
2 handed:
Zweihänder - guess what that means. Often associated with the Renaissance batshit-insane Landsknecht and Doppelsöldner mercenary troops.
Greatsword - vague term for a big sword.
Claymore - either large, 2 handed, cross hilt sword, or smaller basket-hilt sword, depending on your definition.
Longsword - your typical knight sword (I think that the official definition. In games it might be 1 handed).
2 or 1 handed:
Bastard sword - depending on mood.
1 handed:
Arming or knight('s) sword - typical knight sword.
Broadsword - typical basket hilt sword that isn’t skinny like a rapier. Better at cutting. In fantasy, may be a more knightly sword.
And the others mentioned are pretty different, like falchion is a hacking blade.
A broadsword and longsword are usually hand and a half weapons (it varies…some are used and even meant to be two hand swords, but mostly they were hand and a half), while a claymore (a claidheamh-mòr) is basically a ‘greatsword’ in Scotland, or a two handed weapon. The zweihander is basically the same thing…it’s German for ‘two hander’, and is a two handed greatsword. Here are some images if that helps:
Broadsword (you can see this encompasses a bunch of different cultures and styles), claymore, and zweihander.
Sounds like my best bet is to take off the shirt.
I’ll pick one, just to complete the pole. But I couldn’t fight my way out of a wet paper bag. Even if I managed to win, I don’t think my circumstances would be improved by the addition of a dead body to the area.
Wow. Cause spermicidal lube would probably do.
This. Handicapped female. I can however shoot a crossbow and I have the nous to hold fire until he is very close to decrease the chance of missing.
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A rich jerk who’s in pretty good fighting shape from practicing the art of beating the shit out of other rich jerks. He would be used to dealing with pain as well as effectively dishing it out. Both are important in physically competitive situations and hand-to-hand fighting. Gladiators, vikings, knights, and rugby players would all have a higher-than-average pain threshold.
I voted for “flanged mace”, assuming it was a 12" to 24" hard wood handle, 10" to 20" chain, and a heavy iron, spiked ball (morning star) on the end. Besides being more than adequate to break knees, elbows, shoulders, and skulls, it’s difficult to prevent the morning star part from swinging around the edges of shields and raised forearms. A single blow to the chest or spine will ruin your whole day. Probably your last day. :eek:
Solo combat only. Not my first choice if I was fighting as part of a team.
Not poisonous, though it can cause some numbing of…
…oh wait. We’re not really talking about poison, are we?
You’re thinking of a flail, which was the next option up.
The flanged mace is basically a club with metal fins or ridges around the head. The flanges make it much more effective at bashing in armor, and they don’t do skulls any favors, either.
I originally missed the “unarmored” part, but I’ll keep my answer. I’ll bring a Warhammer… 40k yeeeaaaah! Space Marine to the rescue.
I was thinking less mjolnir (more of a short handled maul it looks) and more like this. Shouldn’t be more than a few pounds, a google suggests.
I assume that this is a flanged mace. For most people, a flail (or nunchaku) would be the single worst idea.
The advantage of things like axes and falchions is that they are easier/cheaper for untrained soldiers/peasant armies to use, no?
