# You wanna kick MY ass? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 31, 2008, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414 "2008-10-31T12:57:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/1 "2008-10-31T12:57:31Z")
I had to flip a coin regarding posting this in The Pit or MPSIMS, and The Pit lost. The reason is this pitting borders on being recreational in nature. I went to the local WallyWorld yesterday to drop off some prescriptions. A mundane and unexciting everyday task. Ever so HIPAA compliant, WallyWorld clearly marks where people should line up for the drop off window, with the next in line person being roughly 15 feet from the window. Both windows are busy, but there’s no one else waiting. I dutifully get in line at the proper place like good sheeple are supposed to. Oh, and one of the two drop off windows closes. About halfway through what turns out to be a five minute wait, some guy walks up and gets in line behind the old lady who is taking too much time at the open window. I had been line jumped the previous week while waiting to pay for gasoline, and I wasn’t about to let it happen again. “The line is behind me, Bub.” The guy looks up at me, at first confused, then torked off. “What did you say?” “I said, the line is behind me.” “What did you call me?” 😕 “That would be Bub.” :dubious: I don’t know about him or the rest of you, but where I come from, on a ten scale of aggressive language, where calling someone ‘buddy’, ‘pal’, ‘chum’, or ‘hey you’ is a 1, and ‘Motherfucker’ with inserted ethnic slur is a 10, ‘Bub’ rates a 2. He cops an officious tone to his voice. “I don’t like being addressed in that manner!” I replied, “And I won’t tolerate someone line jumping me.” “I wasn’t line jumping…”, and he follows up with a string of profanity and, “I ought to kick your ass!” About that time, the window opens up, and I went to conduct my business, leaving him to stew where he stood. He verbally threatened me in line, but I was much more amused by the absurdity of the situation than becoming enraged, so I decided that I’m mess with him on the way out. When I was done with the pharmacy clerk, I turned to him, saw the daggers coming from his eyes, and gave him a scrunched faced grin, pissing him off even more. With the words “You better wait for me, asshole!” still ringing in my ears, I flipped him off and walked away without looking back. Since I put this in The Pit, I’ll add an obligatory mild rant. I called you ‘Bub’, not cheesedick, nor asshole, nor shit-for-brains, or even ‘douchebag’. You were the one being the jerk, and now you want to take a swing at me because I had the gumption to call you on your jerk behavior in a public place and I embarrassed you. Well tough titty. I bet 3rd grade recess was hell for you, too. You need to pick your fights better. We may be of similar height and weight, but I’m ten years younger and in a lot better shape, and I have a few aces up my sleeve that give me the advantage. You better give me the name of your next of kin and the hospital you want to be transported to before you take that first swing there, Bub. I’ll have to open that can of whoopass on you in self defense, and then I’d have to treat your injuries because I’m an EMT. Bub, you ain’t worth the effort or the medical supplies I carry. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/2 "2008-10-31T13:03:46Z")
You talkin to me, Bub? Nice rant, Bobbio. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mongo\_Ponton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Mongo\_Ponton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mongo_Ponton)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/3 "2008-10-31T13:08:27Z")
Any guy that wants you to wait to fight while he drops off his prescription needs "a ass beatin’ ". Prolly getting hormones. ---
**Author:** ![Sublata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7cd45c/32.png) [@Sublata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublata)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/4 "2008-10-31T13:11:18Z")
Let’s hope his prescription was for some Valium. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/5 "2008-10-31T13:12:53Z")
Glad you got that off your chest. Hope you feel better. (Not being sarcastic; I know what it feels like.) The times I’ve had something similar said to me, it’s always been from somebody who had no rational reason to be angry with me. A man almost ran over me with his truck while I was walking in a crosswalk with a green pedestrian light. I hit his truck in the side with my briefcase as he passed; that’s how close it was. He screeched to a halt, jumped out and got in my face. Him: I oughta call the police! Me: Please do; you just almost ran over a pedestrian. Him: I oughta beat your ass! Me: You’re welcome to try. (Long pause.) Me: I haven’t got all day. (Long pause. _Exeunt._) ETA: Reminds me of one of my favorite movie lines, spoken by a pool-hall redneck who thinks Liam Neeson is about to beat him up, and says rather pathetically: “It don’t got to be an ass-whoopin’!” ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/6 "2008-10-31T13:14:36Z")
I once had a water heater dump water all over my apartment. Actually, it happened 3 times. The 3 time I went to the rental office and demanded to take it higher-up. He asked me if there were any other issues that weren’t being addressed. I said something like: Hey buddy, don’t you think water trashing my place 3 times is enough? He paused and said: You don’t have to call me buddy. As if that were a bad word. I counted to ten and then said, quite calmly: I’m sorry that I called you buddy. But if \*that \*word offends you, your head is going to explode with the rest of the words I have for you. Now I have an appointment with a lawyer at noon and you damn-well better give me a fucking reason not to go, asshole. They replaced my water heater before noon. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/7 "2008-10-31T13:26:57Z")
My vote goes towards you were both being idiots. The correct thing to say is “Excuse me sir the line is over here.” There is no proof to indicate he was line jumping intentialy. This whole bit about you being ten years younger and having a few aces up your sleeve is stupid as well. I mean really, nobody gives a shit. It doesn’t make me respect you any more just because you’re young and might know a few karate moves. You sound like an adolesent. Grow up bub. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/8 "2008-10-31T13:27:40Z")
I call bullshit. You coulda simply said, **“The line forms behind me”** and omitted the **“bub.”** Or - heavens forbid - you could have started with, **“Excuse me…”** But you chose to express your comment in a manner that was intended to piss him off. Yeah - there just isn’t enough unpleasantness in the world - no reason you should pass up the opportunity to add to it! There is the _chance_ that the other guy was simply mistaken, and did not know where the line ended. As for you, there is no chance other than that you intended to be a dick. Congratulations - you succeeded! The fact that you could have been even MORE of a dick does not render your behavior other than dickish. And for some reason you consider yourself justified because you consider yourself to be a badass. You - not the other guy - provoked, and then chose to escalate, that situation. Well played, asshole. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/9 "2008-10-31T13:36:54Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > This whole bit about you being ten years younger and having a few aces up your sleeve is stupid as well. I mean really, nobody gives a shit. It doesn’t make me respect you any more just because you’re young and might know a few karate moves. The actual encounter ended where I flipped him off and walked away. The rant is a summary of all the thoughts running around inside my head that were never said out loud. Get a grip, Mac. ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/10 "2008-10-31T13:38:07Z")
**Shakes** and **Dinsdale** got the right of it, **VBob.** From what you say in the OP, it sounds like you were Jerk First. I’ve handled similar situations nonconfrontationally with a polite “Ahem,” and a smile. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/11 "2008-10-31T13:46:53Z")
I always thought that “Bub” was a bit confrontational. And flipping someone off is childish. IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/12 "2008-10-31T13:49:17Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > The actual encounter ended where I flipped him off and walked away. The rant is a summary of all the thoughts running around inside my head that were never said out loud. > > Get a grip, Mac. I get that. The fact that you feel the need to post it here seems to imply that YOU think you’re worthy of respect simply because of that. It doesn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/13 "2008-10-31T13:51:13Z")
I’ll stand-up for the bubster. No he wasn’t Polly Purebread, but I don’t see anything wrong with what **VunderBob** said. Had I been the inadvertent line-jumper, I’d probably have replied, “Oops. Sorry about that, chief.” Being called “bub” is no call for threats of violence. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/14 "2008-10-31T13:54:01Z")
I agree that “bub” isn’t necessarily confrontational. It isn’t quite pleasant, though. Still, no call for him to threaten to kick your ass! ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/15 "2008-10-31T13:56:34Z")
> [@Rebo](#): > > I agree that “bub” isn’t necessarily confrontational. It isn’t quite pleasant, though. Still, no call for him to threaten to kick your ass! I honestly don’t see what’s unpleastant about “bub.” Maybe it’s a New England thing. Cheif, bub, mac, junior, cap’n, pally … they’re all practically terms of endearment up here. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/16 "2008-10-31T13:59:47Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > I honestly don’t see what’s unpleastant about “bub.” > > Maybe it’s a New England thing. Might be. But the OP acknowledges that he considers “bub” to rank, albeit at the low end - of his “aggressive language scale.” So he intended to be mildly aggressive. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/17 "2008-10-31T13:59:59Z")
After being told that I’d better wait for him, I would have went to sporting goods, picked up a bat and proceeded to checkout, being sure to pass him on the way. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/18 "2008-10-31T14:18:46Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > After being told that I’d better wait for him, I would have went to sporting goods, picked up a bat and proceeded to checkout, being sure to pass him on the way. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![mischievous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mischievous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mischievous)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/19 "2008-10-31T14:26:48Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > **Shakes** and **Dinsdale** got the right of it, **VBob.** From what you say in the OP, it sounds like you were Jerk First. > > I’ve handled similar situations nonconfrontationally with a polite “Ahem,” and a smile. Seriously. If I was addressed in a similar manner after innocently getting in the wrong line, I’d respond aggressively, too. Being weak and female, I wouldn’t threaten to kick your ass, but you’re pretty much guaranteed an insulting comment at that point. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/20 "2008-10-31T14:40:17Z")
I love the, “I’m gonna kick your ass later” people. Oh, no! Not “later”! That’s so much worse than, say, “right now”! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414.md?page=2)