# You wanna kick MY ass? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 31, 2008, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414 "2008-10-31T12:57:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2008, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/81 "2008-11-01T03:27:25Z")
> [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > but “hey bub the line’s over here” would get a mild disinterested “oh”. That’s an interesting point. . . not that you intended to make it. But ‘hey bub, the line’s over here’ seems to me less offensive than ‘the line’s over here, bub’ The first sounds like you’re just addressing the person (albeit not in the nicest term) but the second one sounds more like XXXXX, idiot/jerk/ass. Of course, it’s all in the intonation and context, but I don’t think it’s about the word bub. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2008, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/82 "2008-11-01T03:30:38Z")
Probably no one else who carries concealed has noticed it, but I personally am a whole lot more calm and polite when I’m carrying than not. Things like queue-jumping, assholes on mobile phones, and other jackassery really doesn’t make me grit my teeth like it used to. Even when driving, the “bad boyz” with their backwards baseball caps and primered Accords with fart-pipe that cut in front of me only make me smile. In fact, I firmly believe that my CCW lowers my mean blood pressure and reduces the chance of stroke and heart attack. I don’t know why - part of me says it’s because I know I can defend myself, and I don’t need to feel threatened. Some large male can explode for no good reason and threaten to “teach me a lesson” in the line at Wal-Mart all he wants, but if I step outside and he starts to follow me to my car and be threatening, he’ll soon discover that no, he is so not going to win this one. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2008, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/83 "2008-11-01T03:33:17Z")
> [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](#): > > That’s an interesting point. . . not that you intended to make it. > > But ‘hey bub, the line’s over here’ seems to me less offensive than ‘the line’s over here, bub’ > > The first sounds like you’re just addressing the person (albeit not in the nicest term) but the second one sounds more like XXXXX, idiot/jerk/ass. > > Of course, it’s all in the intonation and context, but I don’t think it’s about the word bub. I’m like an an unintentional fountain of wisdom and wit for you lately. ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2008, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/84 "2008-11-01T03:44:01Z")
> [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > I’m like an an unintentional fountain of wisdom and wit for you lately. 😃 You crack me up, bub! ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2008, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/85 "2008-11-01T04:03:51Z")
“Bub” may not be outright insulting, but it’s certainly disrespectful. He overreacted, but you gave him an excuse to do so. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2008, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/86 "2008-11-01T05:20:46Z")
The “bub” really wasn’t necessary. Maybe if you were a detective using your best fast talkin’ nasal voice in a 1940s film noir, ir might work, but not really in the real world. ---
**Author:** ![KarmaComa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e36b37/32.png) [@KarmaComa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarmaComa)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2008, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/87 "2008-11-01T12:02:28Z")
OP, you’re the one who comes off sounding like the bigger asshole, as far as I see it. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2008, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/88 "2008-11-01T12:26:47Z")
> [@Una\_Persson](#): > > Probably no one else who carries concealed has noticed it, but I personally am a whole lot more calm and polite when I’m carrying than not. Things like queue-jumping, assholes on mobile phones, and other jackassery really doesn’t make me grit my teeth like it used to. Even when driving, the “bad boyz” with their backwards baseball caps and primered Accords with fart-pipe that cut in front of me only make me smile. In fact, I firmly believe that my CCW lowers my mean blood pressure and reduces the chance of stroke and heart attack. > > I don’t know why - part of me says it’s because I know I can defend myself, and I don’t need to feel threatened. Some large male can explode for no good reason and threaten to “teach me a lesson” in the line at Wal-Mart all he wants, but if I step outside and he starts to follow me to my car and be threatening, he’ll soon discover that no, he is so not going to win this one. What if they attack before you can get your hand on it? And then take it off you? A potential beating has turned into a possible shooting. Do you practice a ‘quick draw’ technique, and are you absolutely confident in it? ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2008, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/89 "2008-11-01T12:55:49Z")
> [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](#): > > I hate it when people speak gobblydegook. Translation please. (It’s a really awesome species of Army Ant) ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2008, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/90 "2008-11-01T16:28:37Z")
> [@Una\_Persson](#): > > I don’t know why - part of me says it’s because I know I can defend myself, and I don’t need to feel threatened. Most folks who train fighting experience the same thing. Well, lots of guys go through an immature phase where they are eager to “show off” what they have learned. But just about all of the fighters I know who had been at it for a while would go to incredible lengths to avoid a fight. One time I saw one guy - an awesome fighter - take a solid shot from some drunk bozo and walk away as the guy called him a coward. I said, “Well done,” and he said, “Hell, you tag me better than that in sparring!” The more confident you are in your ability, the less you feel a need to prove it, and the sillier macho posturing appears. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2008, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/91 "2008-11-01T17:03:52Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > What if they attack before you can get your hand on it? And then take it off you? A potential beating has turned into a possible shooting. Do you practice a ‘quick draw’ technique, and are you absolutely confident in it? What if she can shoot laser beams from her eyes? What about that, huh? What if she has a bee cannon concealed in her shirtsleeve? What if your uncle had been plumbed a bit differently? Would he have been your aunt? ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2008, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/92 "2008-11-01T19:29:53Z")
> [@Max\_Torque](#): > > I love the, “I’m gonna kick your ass later” people. > > Oh, no! Not “later”! That’s so much worse than, say, “right now”! Please have my card, call my secretary in the morning and she will schedule you for the earliest available ass kicking slot. Have a great day. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2008, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/93 "2008-11-01T21:17:05Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > What if she can shoot laser beams from her eyes? What about that, huh? What if she has a bee cannon concealed in her shirtsleeve? What if your uncle had been plumbed a bit differently? Would he have been your aunt? What if you had a valid objection? Would you be able to raise it from beneath the weight of your snark? ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2008, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/94 "2008-11-02T02:56:19Z")
> [@E-Sabbath](#): > > (It’s a really awesome species of Army Ant) Ooooh. OK, got it. Thanks. Now, everything is making so much more sense. I wondered what he was on about before. > [@Jaglavak](#): > > The appropriate response is to make their lives as difficult as possible. > [@Jaglavak](#): > > The self appointed Lords of the Universe _will_ casually step on your face until you put a stop to it. And unfortunately we’ve got a bumper crop of them. It’s not nice but it is reality. We all deal with it in our own way. When you read it like an ant is talking, it makes so much more sense. Soo, who let the ants in? Where’s the spray?! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2008, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/95 "2008-11-02T05:16:38Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > I honestly don’t see what’s unpleastant about “bub.” > > Maybe it’s a New England thing. Cheif, bub, mac, junior, cap’n, pally … they’re all practically terms of endearment up here. Yeah, maybe it is. Male toddlers up here get called Bub by their daddies sometimes. I don’t think it’s too much of an insult in these parts. ---
**Author:** ![EpicNonsense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c37758/32.png) [@EpicNonsense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EpicNonsense)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2008, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/96 "2008-11-02T05:51:32Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > Yeah, maybe it is. Male toddlers up here get called Bub by their daddies sometimes. I don’t think it’s too much of an insult in these parts. Calling someone a “Bub” is just being a smart-ass, which is why he took it offensively. ESPECIALLY if you emphasize on the nickname… Actually, ending a statement with any form of nickname is a smart-ass move. “The line’s over there, PAL” “The line’s over there, MR” “The line’s over there, PEANUT” Okay, the last one was stupid, but you get the point. They all have the same message, as innocent as they may seem. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2008, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/97 "2008-11-02T11:33:16Z")
Well, I’d suggest growing a few extra layers of skin if you ever come to Boston. ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2008, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/98 "2008-11-02T12:14:07Z")
“Hi handsome //wink - wink // want to get in behind me.” Escalates to “BAT” Next comes “CHAINSAW” On to the “GUN” department Gets a … “TREADMILL” ???:D:D:D:D:D:D ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2008, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/99 "2008-11-02T14:36:42Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > What if they attack before you can get your hand on it? And then take it off you? A potential beating has turned into a possible shooting. Do you practice a ‘quick draw’ technique, and are you absolutely confident in it? I’m not going to address those points in the BBQ Pit; I suggest you ask a question in GQ if you want honest and substantive answers from others. My point is when you feel confident in your ability to defend yourself, you can take the occasional slings and arrows of upset people much more in stride, and not have to escalate situations in a destructive feedback loop my getting defensive from feeling threatened. **Dinsdale** is correct - it could be because you’re armed, because you’re trained in a real martial art, you’re just a big happy lummox of a guy, or just because you’re “armed” with a positive attitude and faith in things going right. Since I have none of the last three, I have to rely on the first. As I said, this works great when I’m driving - it used to be I had an instinctive response when someone aggressively cut me off in traffic or waved a gesture at me - it was to respond with anger back, to feel threatened and to get aggressive back. To meet their aggression with aggression. When I’m carrying in the car, I just say to myself “whatever, just don’t be hitting my car” and I ignore them. And in the store, waiting in line, I can look at some 20-something blustering and sputtering and puffing out his chest like a Prairie Chicken, stinking of “Axe” and human desperation, and just say “hey dude, calm down, life’s too short. You go ahead and cut in line if that’s what you need to do to make it through the day.” The first and best way to win a fight is not to have one in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![Jolly\_Roger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/91b2a8/32.png) [@Jolly\_Roger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jolly_Roger)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2008, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414/100 "2008-11-02T20:18:24Z")
> [@Don\_t\_Call\_Me\_Shirley](#): > > 1. “Bub” is not an insult. > 2. There are a lot of crazy mother fuckers out there, with overdeveloped senses of “honor,” who take any perceived sign of disrespect as a personal challenge, and feel that if they do not respond with overwhelming violence, they have allowed themselves to be “disrespected” and are therefore “not a man.” I hear the exact same story dozens of times a week, and it always contains the exact same elements: > 3. He was disrespecting me; > 4. He called me Bub/talked to my girlfriend/spilled beer on my shoe/bumped into me; > 5. I feel like I’m a man, and I deserve respect (for some reason I’ve noticed they always put the “I feel like” in front of "I’m a man, which I think is pretty funny); > 6. What was I supposed to do? > > For this reason, I find it’s usually best to avoid calling strangers anything that could set them off. And I find the OP’s reliance on the “aces” up his “sleeve” amusing and incredibly naive, as these types of people often have “guns” up their “sleeves,” and if the OP isn’t careful, he is going to end up using some of his “medical supplies” that he carries to apply a “tourniquet” to his “aorta.” Bub is not an insult. I will admit that I always call strangers Mister Miss or Missus Sir or Ma’am But thats mostly being used to it from the military. Plus I expect people to address me in aay that I would like so I do the same. but someone calling me “Bub” in that context wouldn’t set me off at all. I had a terrible day once while recruiting…well, all of the days there were pretty bad, but this was a spectacular day in shittiness. I got home very late and when i was passing through the gate at Ft. Dix (with my partner SGT G in the car) there was a moron in front of me that driving at about 5 mph. I lost it and illegally went around them on the shoulder and pulled up the gate. I was wrong, i know it, and the MPs at the gate saw it and knew it. They were letting me in the gate when one of the said “you know, passing that other car was completely illegal.” I replied “Yes, I know, I was wrong…look, I’m tired…its almost midnight and I had a really bad day.I’m sorry. I just want to go home.” The MP was willing to let it fly when his fat ass National Guard partner chimed in “We all have bad days, buddy…” That set me off. I was willing to take the verbal warning, but the fact that he called me ‘buddy’ and the way he said it…well, I uncharacteristically lost my cool. "Buddy? Listen corporal, I didn’t ask you about your opinion. I admitted i was wrong, but it was outside of the gate, so you really can’t give me a ticket. and in the future, you’ll address me as “sergeant” and stand at parade rest when doing it. Do not address me as your “buddy’ again…Clear?” In retrospect, the corporal probably could have gotten away with it. I was pushing the boundaries of general military respect and order, but like the guy the OP talked about I just took it as an insult in being addressed that way. I felt bad about it a half hour later. on a normal day i would not even have registered it enough to be angry. maybe the guy in the OP’s story just had a really crappy day. Its no excuse to threaten him, of course, but it happens. We all have times when we’re in a craptacular mood and little things set us off. My carpool partner that was in the car was shocked. he’d never seen me pull rank on anyone, and i rarely do. I told him later it was the way he said it, not the words in themselves. Thats why I make it an effort to speak to people with a measure of respect. It costs me nothing if they have not disrespected me…and it usually gains their respect. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-kick-my-ass/470414.md?page=6)