# You wanna know something? It's a Fact . . . **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 8, 2006, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-know-something-its-a-fact/347537 "2006-03-08T14:39:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-know-something-its-a-fact/347537/41 "2006-03-09T12:47:58Z")
I must get Manservant Hecubus to research this. ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-know-something-its-a-fact/347537/42 "2006-03-09T14:04:36Z")
Have you seen my pen? ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-know-something-its-a-fact/347537/43 "2006-03-09T14:23:45Z")
Oh I see our problem! The “It’s a Fact” Girl’s name is Hu! She’s Chinese, so I can see your confusion. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-know-something-its-a-fact/347537/44 "2006-03-09T14:40:29Z")
“I LOVE money. Who here loves money?” “12 videos, over six hours each, of how to save time…” (I loved those fake infomercials!) “I’m Scott. The Queer.” ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-know-something-its-a-fact/347537/45 "2006-03-09T15:09:34Z")
“Maybe you’ll be the lucky viewer who gets to touch Paul Bellini!” ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-know-something-its-a-fact/347537/46 "2006-03-09T15:17:02Z")
I once shot a man, just to watch him die. Then I got distracted, and I missed it. Some friends tried to describe it to me, but it just wasn’t the same. ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-know-something-its-a-fact/347537/47 "2006-03-09T16:09:57Z")
Sorry for causing all that cancer. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-know-something-its-a-fact/347537/48 "2006-03-09T16:15:53Z")
I need a lover. ---
**Author:** ![meow\_meow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@meow\_meow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meow_meow)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-know-something-its-a-fact/347537/49 "2006-03-09T16:33:00Z")
> [@The Scrivener](#): > > Maybe she was just Dave Foley in drag. He was always the most convincing one… :dubious: > BTW, I’m _smashing your head_! “CRUSHING” your head. Ho dee oten doten day, ho dee oten day oh, ho dee oten doten day, fattening up our tapeworms! ---
**Author:** ![Raygun99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Raygun99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raygun99)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-know-something-its-a-fact/347537/50 "2006-03-09T16:44:57Z")
Thank you, I’m Jerry Sizzler, and this is my sister… Jerry Sizzler! ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-know-something-its-a-fact/347537/51 "2006-03-09T17:14:14Z")
Hey, everybody, look at me! Hey-hey-hey! Well, the line’s thinning out. Gotta go. ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-know-something-its-a-fact/347537/52 "2006-03-09T17:22:01Z")
I saw a great movie last night. It was on the late show. It was – um, uh, what was is called? It’s a classic. It’s, uh…oh, I hate this. I hate it when this happen. ---
**Author:** ![\_Deep\_F\_ied](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/7cd45c/32.png) [@\_Deep\_F\_ied](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Deep_F_ied)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-know-something-its-a-fact/347537/53 "2006-03-09T17:46:05Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > Mark McKinney had funny? “Chicken Lady loves life!!” ---
**Author:** ![\_Deep\_F\_ied](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/7cd45c/32.png) [@\_Deep\_F\_ied](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Deep_F_ied)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-know-something-its-a-fact/347537/54 "2006-03-09T17:56:29Z")
> [@meow meow](#): > > “CRUSHING” your head. And don’t forget the battle with the “face pincher”. P.S.- Sorry for the redundency **Larry** , I really should read the whole thread before posting. ---
**Author:** ![want2know](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@want2know](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/want2know)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-know-something-its-a-fact/347537/55 "2006-03-09T18:19:59Z")
> [@Amaranta](#): > > Hey guys? Guys? > > If my head was made out of veal, which it is not, but if it was, how much would it be worth? > (Side note the first - when I worked in a grocery store with a KITH-loving boss, we did a little research and figured my head would be worth about $200. But I don’t think I’ll sell. > > Side note the second - this question is a great ice-breaker in awkward social situations, right up there with “Who would win in a fight, a dog or a monkey?” and "Okay, but who would win in a fight between a shark and a bear? If it was in outer space?) Sorry, **bienville** , but the “It’s a fact” girl was meant to be with **Gavin** : “Did you know that if your mother dies, and you tell the bus driver, you can ride the bus for free?” Damn you all, now I gotta go buy the DVD collections! EVIL! EVIL! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-know-something-its-a-fact/347537/56 "2006-03-09T18:22:57Z")
> [@Gadarene](#): > > I saw a great movie last night. It was on the late show. It was – um, uh, what was is called? It’s a classic. It’s, uh…oh, I hate this. I hate it when this happen. Citizen Kane. Cit-cit-cit-citizen Kane! ---
**Author:** ![Amaranta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Amaranta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amaranta)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-know-something-its-a-fact/347537/57 "2006-03-09T18:25:42Z")
> [@NurseCarmen](#): > > Citizen Kane. Cit-cit-cit-citizen Kane! No, that’s not it. It was \*like \*that, but… dammit, I just can’t think of it. ---
**Author:** ![Gordon\_Urquhart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@Gordon\_Urquhart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gordon_Urquhart)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-know-something-its-a-fact/347537/58 "2006-03-09T18:29:47Z")
Hey, Lopez. ---
**Author:** ![\_Deep\_F\_ied](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/7cd45c/32.png) [@\_Deep\_F\_ied](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Deep_F_ied)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-know-something-its-a-fact/347537/59 "2006-03-09T18:31:53Z")
“It was my wheel. What did you think I wouldn’t need it?!?” I can’t remember the exact quote but I love the “Daddy drank” sketch where the son gives him tap shoes for his birthday. “I could kill you in your sleep” ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Macphisto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Ms\_Macphisto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Macphisto)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-know-something-its-a-fact/347537/60 "2006-03-09T18:34:15Z")
> [@Amaranta](#): > > No, that’s not it. It was \*like \*that, but… dammit, I just can’t think of it. You know what you need? You need a mortician. You need a mortician! YOU NEED A MORTICIAN!!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-know-something-its-a-fact/347537.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wanna-know-something-its-a-fact/347537.md?page=4)