# You Want Me to Stick That Thing WHERE??? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 8, 2001, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-me-to-stick-that-thing-where/64768 "2001-05-08T14:59:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2001, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-me-to-stick-that-thing-where/64768/1 "2001-05-08T14:59:01Z")
So Dr. Albracht, D.O., prescribes Flonase® for my **extreme** case of nasal congestion. Hooray!, I’m thinking. Finally some relief! So I get the script filled and head home. I open up the box, and there I see it. The bottle has a plastic tip, about half an inch in diameter and about an inch long. **Oh my God it’s an enema!** :eek: Oh, wait. _reads directions_ Oh, OK. It’s not an enema. No, it’s worse. I’m supposed to stick that thing into my nose! :eek: Ooh, this is weird. I’m supposed to stick this little plastic hoopajoo up my nose and squirt. EEEeeeeeewwwwwww! So, I’m litterally quivering as I stick the tip up my schnozz. It takes every last bit of gumption for me to finally press the little button. Gah! :shudder: On the upside, Flonase® leaves your nose smelling of lilacs. ---
**Author:** ![Xerxes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/d2c977/32.png) [@Xerxes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xerxes)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2001, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-me-to-stick-that-thing-where/64768/2 "2001-05-08T15:12:01Z")
But am I the only one who is envious of the parallel-universe version of myself who’s just read your post in which you state that you _didn’t_ read the instructions and thereby squirted 4 ounces of the industrial-strength equivalent of horse liniment up your ass? Einstein be damned. If I listen hard enough I can just about hear me laughing… ---
**Author:** ![troub](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troub/32/14802_2.png) [@troub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/troub)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2001, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-me-to-stick-that-thing-where/64768/3 "2001-05-08T18:04:42Z")
I don’t think you’re completely alone, Xerxes. Do you continue the view into the parallel-universe (as I do) all the way to the point where, after having used it improperly, and it doesn’t work, rastahomie goes back and actually reads the directions? Then, a horrible decision must be made: go back to the doctor and tell him what you did, or, clean it up and use it per the directions 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2001, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-me-to-stick-that-thing-where/64768/4 "2001-05-08T18:17:01Z")
Great, now they caught me laughing. Guess I’d better get back to work. Thanks a lot, Xerxes. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2001, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-me-to-stick-that-thing-where/64768/5 "2001-05-08T23:56:29Z")
flonase good, lilacs weird. ---
**Author:** ![absoul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@absoul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/absoul)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2001, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-me-to-stick-that-thing-where/64768/6 "2001-05-09T00:03:18Z")
Always, always read the label of ANYTHING you are about to squirt into an orifice. A couple of months ago I had a horrible head cold and remembered I had a nasal squirt decongestant thinger in my medicine cabinet. After insertion, a hearty squeeze, and a strange burning sensation I realized I was holding a bottle of ear wax remover. :eek: Always, always, always read the label. Those damn bottles look exactly the same, I swear it! ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2001, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-me-to-stick-that-thing-where/64768/7 "2001-05-09T00:15:16Z")
I dont know about the rest of you… but the title of this thread gave me a WICKED flashback! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Xerxes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/d2c977/32.png) [@Xerxes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xerxes)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2001, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-me-to-stick-that-thing-where/64768/8 "2001-05-09T13:26:49Z")
troub said… > [@](#): > > Do you continue the view into the parallel-universe (as I do) all the way to the point where, after having used it improperly, and it doesn’t work, rastahomie goes back and actually reads the directions? Then, a horrible decision must be made: go back to the doctor and tell him what you did, or, clean it up and use it per the directions I do **now** 😃 Kellibelli followed with… > [@](#): > > I dont know about the rest of you… but the title of this thread gave me a WICKED flashback! Ok, the assembled SDMBers need to know… (we promise it won’t go any further [sup]it’s not like this board’s **public** or anything, right?[/sup]) ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2001, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-me-to-stick-that-thing-where/64768/9 "2001-05-09T13:45:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Xerxes \* > Kellibelli followed with… > > > [@](#): > > > > I dont know about the rest of you… but the title of this thread gave me a WICKED flashback! > > Ok, the assembled SDMBers need to know… (we promise it won’t go any further [sup]it’s not like this board’s **public** or anything, right?[/sup]) \*\* former poster Satan and his then gf Heather had a thread about him…ummmm…having…ummm… \ strap on/dildo \ inserted…ummmm “there” (in Satan, that is…) ---
**Author:** ![Xerxes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/d2c977/32.png) [@Xerxes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xerxes)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2001, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-me-to-stick-that-thing-where/64768/10 "2001-05-09T13:52:11Z")
Ouch! :eek: That’s brought tears to my eyes [sub]and not in a _good_ way…[/sub] Do we have a smiley for involuntary sphincter-clench? ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2001, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-me-to-stick-that-thing-where/64768/11 "2001-05-09T14:01:39Z")
**Xerxes** , I included it in a [“Classics”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=65668) thread a while ago. It’s the one titled [“Sticking things in surprising places”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=15773) Note **Czarcasm** s warning, though: > [@](#): > > Link to them, read them enjoy them, but please do NOT respond to them. And yes, **Kelli** , that was the first thing I thought of 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Xerxes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/d2c977/32.png) [@Xerxes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xerxes)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2001, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-me-to-stick-that-thing-where/64768/12 "2001-05-09T14:08:22Z")
Gee thanks, thinksnow. I was going to do some work this afternoon but I’ve got **no** chance now. I’m hooked, I tell ya. I’m off to the classics thread and if I’m not back by teatime, have someone come looking… [sub]Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2001, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-me-to-stick-that-thing-where/64768/13 "2001-05-09T14:13:10Z")
Glad to help. [sub]I mean, really, if I’m not working at work, why should anyone else?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Xerxes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/d2c977/32.png) [@Xerxes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xerxes)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2001, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-me-to-stick-that-thing-where/64768/14 "2001-05-09T14:17:18Z")
Sheeit! Just read the ‘Funny things people have said’ thread. Oh. My. God. Classic. I have a feeling I’m going to rather enjoy the rest of the afternoon… 😃