# You want my boobs? You can have them! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 26, 2003, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-my-boobs-you-can-have-them/184429 "2003-06-26T02:11:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-my-boobs-you-can-have-them/184429/1 "2003-06-26T02:11:07Z")
I swear, as soon as I get the money, I’m going in for a reduction. After 13 years of being cursed with a D cup I’m finally going to save up enough money to go get a doctor to take me down to a B cup or heck…even an A cup. Long have I fantasized about this…since middle school when I was the only girl in gym who really had any ‘jugs’ worth talking about. When I looked like Dolly Parton compared to their relatively flat young chests. I long for the day when I can run down to the mailbox bra-less and not get a black eye (or a sore back from the bouncing). I dream nightly about what it would be like to be able to run about bra-less and not have to worry about the sagging or the stretchmarks. I know a lot of women say “Gee I wish I had giant boobs like yours…oooh I am SO envious!” They have no idea I envy their small chests as much as they envy my huge one. I did not ask for these ‘melons’…oh no. Thanks to the wonders of human genetics, I inherited them from my mother and grandmother, both D cups themselves (and with my grandmother a DDD now that she is old and they sag to her knees so she needs something that big to contain them). I would love for once…for once I’d like to go into a store and not have to buy a bra with a cup so big you could use it as either a stewpot or a parasail. I would like to be small-chested. Yeah…I know in this day and age that’s practically a crime but I don’t care anymore. I want to be boob-less. These ‘knockers’ have caused me nuttin but trouble. 🙂 IDBB ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-my-boobs-you-can-have-them/184429/2 "2003-06-26T02:13:40Z")
I am just here because someone said ‘boobs’ ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-my-boobs-you-can-have-them/184429/3 "2003-06-26T02:17:16Z")
I knew you would be, **Lobsang!**. 😃 You just can’t stay away when somebody says ‘boobs’ can you? IDBB ---
**Author:** ![Cosmopolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/94ad74/32.png) [@Cosmopolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmopolitan)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-my-boobs-you-can-have-them/184429/4 "2003-06-26T02:17:22Z")
> [@](#): > > I would love for once…for once I’d like to go into a store and not have to buy a bra with a cup so big you could use it as either a stewpot or a parasail. Now _that_, I can relate to! 😃 …Although, I kinda like my jugs. I mean, I don’t have to run with them, so they’re a little less hassle - works out well. But yeah, I can relate to the “Holy \_\_\_\_, these bra cups are _huge_!” thing. And that’s when you can find’em in your size. Ah, the perils of a big bosom. (Not to mention the issue of horny Dopers asking you for cites when you mention your boobage! 😛 ) ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-my-boobs-you-can-have-them/184429/5 "2003-06-26T02:18:11Z")
I’d like to be small-chested too, **IDBB**. I don’t think it’s a crime. And my breasts are pretty averagely sized, too (36C). Eh, no one is ever really happy with their bodies. ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-my-boobs-you-can-have-them/184429/6 "2003-06-26T02:22:57Z")
**Cosmo** –that’s why I usually end up at…(of all places)Big Lots,a white trash chain that carries TONS of bras in my size thank god.🙂 **Kyla** –this is the ONE part of my body I have been consistently unhappy with ever since the arrival of the Massive Evil Jugs from Outer Mongolian Space.😃 It’s almost impossible to find a ‘nice’ dress (for the ocassions when I simply must buy them, which is thankfully far and few between) that fits on the top because I have a huge chest and it’s either waaaay to tight on top and fits around the middle and bottom OR looks like a tent on me just so I can find something that fits on top.🙂 IDBB ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-my-boobs-you-can-have-them/184429/7 "2003-06-26T02:37:32Z")
I like big butts. ---
**Author:** ![Rabid\_Squirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Rabid\_Squirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rabid_Squirrel)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-my-boobs-you-can-have-them/184429/8 "2003-06-26T02:39:35Z")
[Pokes head in through door] Boobies? Oh. Nevermind [Heads out] I’ve heard that back problems can crop up too. Is that true? ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-my-boobs-you-can-have-them/184429/9 "2003-06-26T02:40:33Z")
Ok, since nobody else has said it yet… Cite please. Hey, it had to be said. ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-my-boobs-you-can-have-them/184429/10 "2003-06-26T02:43:14Z")
I’ll give you a cite if and when I ever allow the monstrosties that lie just below my chin and above my belly button to ever be photographed. 🙂 Or when my scanner gets working again and I can scan in the tag from my bra.😃 IDBB ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-my-boobs-you-can-have-them/184429/11 "2003-06-26T02:44:36Z")
**Rabid** –this is true. I think that my giant boobage (in addition to other things) is the cause of SOME of my back problems. IDBB ---
**Author:** ![thi6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e99b99/32.png) [@thi6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thi6)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-my-boobs-you-can-have-them/184429/12 "2003-06-26T02:49:58Z")
Big Lots has bras that might actually fit me? A Big Lots just opened here recently, I’ll have to take a look. Finding a bra the right size AND style has been a major pain. I even went to Lane Bryant to get sized, where I was told I was a cup size bigger (and a band size smaller) than I thought. Amazingly, none of the bras in my ‘actual’ size fit me as well as what I’ve been buying all along. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-my-boobs-you-can-have-them/184429/13 "2003-06-26T02:50:16Z")
Do you have health insurance? Many policies will cover reduction surgery if they really are causing you pain. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Blunty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@Captain\_Blunty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Blunty)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-my-boobs-you-can-have-them/184429/14 "2003-06-26T02:50:16Z")
**IDBB** , I hear you, _loud_ and clear. I am a 14E cup (in Australian sizing) and I have to get my bras custom made. It costs me _$137_ Australian per bra! This is an unfortunate genetic thing. My grandmother has huge breasts, my cousins have huge breasts (when they were pregnant, their breasts ended up bigger than thier heads!), and I’m huge breasted. Unfortuantely again, we have the hips and bottoms to match, and my waist is _three sizes smaller_ than my hips! Besides getting my bras custom made, I have to get all my pants tailored. So basically, a $75 pair of jeans ends up costing me $160! I could have gotten a breast reduction three times over with the money I have to spend on clothes! And I totally hear you about the dresses. The dresses that fit my breasts and butt either look like a circus tent on me, or are so fitted they make me look like a go- go dancer! ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-my-boobs-you-can-have-them/184429/15 "2003-06-26T02:56:08Z")
Thou art goddesses. Thanks for the mammaries. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-my-boobs-you-can-have-them/184429/16 "2003-06-26T03:10:59Z")
Just be glad you’re not a lady elephant shrew. They got six! ---
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-my-boobs-you-can-have-them/184429/17 "2003-06-26T03:12:16Z")
[What we would do](http://thejar.keenspace.com/d/20020819.html) [if we actually did take **IDBB’s** breasts.](http://thejar.keenspace.com/d/20020823.html) ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-my-boobs-you-can-have-them/184429/18 "2003-06-26T03:24:59Z")
You know, **IDBB** , if you really are serious about reducing the boobage, it’s not that difficult. Takes a bit of hoop-jumping with the insurance company, and normally they have to be able to remove at least a pound from _each_ breast, so it’s definitely for the mammarily challenged. But it might be well worth it. Every woman I know, and I mean _every_ woman I know, who’s gone through it, including my daughter and SIL, only wish they’d done it sooner. Just don’t let 'em take you down to, as my daughter’s surgeon so tastefully said, “two fried eggs.” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-my-boobs-you-can-have-them/184429/19 "2003-06-26T03:28:56Z")
**Muad** –I haven’t researched as to whether our current insurance would do breast-reduction surgery as a medical necessity. I’m thinking they wouldn’t but I dunno for sure. It’s worth looking into. And also…for the linkies…ROTFLMAO:D **Blunty** –I feel your pain. No really. Right around the small of my back every day. 🙂 **thi** –that’s where I buy mine and granted, they ain’t the prettiest bras in the world. More like old-lady bras is like it but they all seem to have the industrial strength elastic a nd wire and stuff to hold my gals in place. IDBB ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-my-boobs-you-can-have-them/184429/20 "2003-06-26T03:29:22Z")
You know what they say…“everything’s bigger in Texas” 😃 I was raised on a farm, so if you ever need a hand hauling them melons just holler. (just kidding…okay) On a more serious note: IIRC, I read somewhere that daily breast massages were beneficial in breast reduction.:dubious: I don’t know about that guy, sounds like he’s had one shot of tequila too many. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-my-boobs-you-can-have-them/184429.md?page=2)