# You want to do something really nice for your spouse: What do you do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 13, 2010, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-do-something-really-nice-for-your-spouse-what-do-you-do/553603 "2010-09-13T13:51:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-do-something-really-nice-for-your-spouse-what-do-you-do/553603/1 "2010-09-13T13:51:25Z")
Let’s say that hypothetically, your spouse has done something really pretty amazing for you. It’s not something that you can exactly reciprocate, so that’s not an option, but you do want to do something really special and nice to express your gratitude. In your particular situation, what would you do? Or, alternately, as the spouse deserving of gratitude, what would you appreciate? (Making a derogatory reference here about the inevitable “steak and a blowjob” responses isn’t going to stop anyone from making such references, is it?) ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-do-something-really-nice-for-your-spouse-what-do-you-do/553603/2 "2010-09-13T14:14:01Z")
I hate to say it, but I’d just make him a meatloaf. He really really really likes meatloaf, but I seldom make it because I find it labor intensive. We have steak all the time because it’s easy, so it’s not a big deal. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-do-something-really-nice-for-your-spouse-what-do-you-do/553603/3 "2010-09-13T14:18:09Z")
Stop beating him temporarily. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-do-something-really-nice-for-your-spouse-what-do-you-do/553603/4 "2010-09-13T14:20:48Z")
Clean the house, get rid of the kids for an evening, and have a nekkid party. Seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-do-something-really-nice-for-your-spouse-what-do-you-do/553603/5 "2010-09-13T14:49:29Z")
As he calls it, “get freaky”. Sorry but that’s the truth. He likes it when I bake him a cake too. ---
**Author:** ![sachertorte](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sachertorte/32/3727_2.png) [@sachertorte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sachertorte)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-do-something-really-nice-for-your-spouse-what-do-you-do/553603/6 "2010-09-13T14:56:46Z")
I gave my husband a massage yesterday. He didn’t do anything special for it though. ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-do-something-really-nice-for-your-spouse-what-do-you-do/553603/7 "2010-09-13T14:58:26Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Stop beating him temporarily. The beatings will continue until morale improves! ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-do-something-really-nice-for-your-spouse-what-do-you-do/553603/8 "2010-09-13T15:00:58Z")
Get him a bacon cheeseburger. In fact, since you mentioned it, I owe Mr. Horseshoe a lil’ somethin’ for putting up with me this weekend, and that was specifically what he asked for when I left this morning: for me to bring home a bacon chzburger for lunch. He’ll get it, too. Maybe a malt to go with it, though that would be mostly for me. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-do-something-really-nice-for-your-spouse-what-do-you-do/553603/9 "2010-09-13T15:02:24Z")
Bah. I’m nice to the extent of my abilities _every_ day. I guess if I wanted to strain myself, I could put the cap back on the toothpaste. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-do-something-really-nice-for-your-spouse-what-do-you-do/553603/10 "2010-09-13T15:57:49Z")
My partner “has done something really pretty amazing for me” just by being my partner. But if I really want to express my gratitude, I’ll take him to either Paris or Vienna or Barcelona or Nice. He goes to Europe all the time on business, but rarely with me, for pleasure. ---
**Author:** ![Shecky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85e7bf/32.png) [@Shecky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shecky)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-do-something-really-nice-for-your-spouse-what-do-you-do/553603/11 "2010-09-13T16:05:59Z")
I’ve: 1. Taken her on a trip and had a maid service come in to scrub the house. She’s a clean freak. 2. Delivered flowers to her work with a dirty note. 3. Taken her for a couples massage. I absolutely hate getting massages, but didn’t tell her. Most recently, I congratulated her on finding a good job by giving her a new laptop. It’s not something she knew she wanted. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-do-something-really-nice-for-your-spouse-what-do-you-do/553603/12 "2010-09-13T16:28:53Z")
I could either 1. give him a massage, 2. let him sleep late on a couple weekends by taking the toddler upstairs with me; 3. tell him he can buy that new electronics/gaming gizmo NOW. You know, the gizmo he has been jonesing for months over and has been planning to buy months from now. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-do-something-really-nice-for-your-spouse-what-do-you-do/553603/13 "2010-09-13T16:33:09Z")
Often I will give him a foot rub before bed if he has been especially wonderful. Sometimes I will find a new restaurant that looks like it would appeal to him and we will go there for dinner. Occasionally I will find something he wanted (video game or book or something small) and surprise him with that kind of thing. ---
**Author:** ![otternell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecc23a/32.png) [@otternell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/otternell)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-do-something-really-nice-for-your-spouse-what-do-you-do/553603/14 "2010-09-13T16:34:13Z")
Gotta go with the cook whatever hits his fancy. He usually will mention something I haven’t made in a while and so I whip that up with a batch of his favorite cookies, pick up a can of honey roasted peanuts, see if there are any CD’s out for his favorite bands that he doesn’t already have, etc. I haven’t been able to think of anything “big” to do for him, so I just overwhelm him with the little things. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-do-something-really-nice-for-your-spouse-what-do-you-do/553603/15 "2010-09-13T16:39:52Z")
Steak and a… backrub. Okay, I’dctually take her Ikea or the like. She’s a decorating freak. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-do-something-really-nice-for-your-spouse-what-do-you-do/553603/16 "2010-09-13T17:07:39Z")
> [@voguevixen](#): > > I hate to say it, but I’d just make him a meatloaf. He really really really likes meatloaf, but I seldom make it because I find it labor intensive. We have steak all the time because it’s easy, so it’s not a big deal. My husband likes meatloaf too. I’ll make meatloaf, or lasagna, or pot roast. In fact, I made pot roast over the weekend, and he went into rhapsodies about it. I season flour, dredge the roast, and then brown it thoroughly on the stovetop. Then I add a mix of wine and beef broth, and add onions, celery, and carrots which I have peeled and cut up. Sometimes I add a turnip, too. Then it all goes in the oven. I have some broth and beef left over, so tonight I’m going to make a roux and cut up some more veggies and cook them in the broth, add the cut up beef, and then thicken the broth. Possibly I’ll make biscuits or cornbread or garlic bread. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-do-something-really-nice-for-your-spouse-what-do-you-do/553603/17 "2010-09-13T17:26:47Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > (Making a derogatory reference here about the inevitable “steak and a blowjob” responses isn’t going to stop anyone from making such references, is it?) Why are you disregaring this? That is the answer. Seriously, ask any guy. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-do-something-really-nice-for-your-spouse-what-do-you-do/553603/18 "2010-09-13T17:27:47Z")
> [@otternell](#): > > I haven’t been able to think of anything “big” to do for him, so I just overwhelm him with the little things. I am leaning towards this. There is a batch of cookies in the oven right now with his name on them. (Figuratively speaking.) To address one other point, yes, MrWhatsit is amazing just by virtue of being my partner, blah blah etc. However, sometimes he rises above and beyond, and I want to show my appreciation. Trust me when I say that I cannot express the depth of my sheer and utter delight for those of you who have relationships in which every single moment of every single day is already filled with maximum displays of appreciation between you and your partner. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-do-something-really-nice-for-your-spouse-what-do-you-do/553603/19 "2010-09-13T17:29:29Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > > [@MsWhatsit](#): > > > > (Making a derogatory reference here about the inevitable “steak and a blowjob” responses isn’t going to stop anyone from making such references, is it?) > > Why are you disregaring this? That is the answer. Seriously, ask any guy. Because I said I wanted to do something special and extraordinary, not something that he can have any time he wants it anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-do-something-really-nice-for-your-spouse-what-do-you-do/553603/20 "2010-09-13T17:30:03Z")
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