# You want to join my band of post-apocalyptic survivors, prove your worth! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 29, 2007, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-join-my-band-of-post-apocalyptic-survivors-prove-your-worth/389966 "2007-01-29T14:33:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Aserrann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/82dd89/32.png) [@Aserrann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aserrann)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2007, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-join-my-band-of-post-apocalyptic-survivors-prove-your-worth/389966/41 "2007-01-29T22:17:14Z")
Hmm… I have some skill at medieval weapons (swords, polearms, etc…) and fencing. However… I’m a pacifist… so… maybe I can train others? Bullets have to run out sometime. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2007, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-join-my-band-of-post-apocalyptic-survivors-prove-your-worth/389966/42 "2007-01-29T22:48:29Z")
Another hunter/fisherman/brewer. I know how to gut & clean as well as how to cook what I gut & clean, and I have the equipment to do it all. I’m OK with electrical stuff, better with mechanical/carpentry stuff. I know basic BSA skills (a lot comes back when your kid is in it) and I know some edible local plants. I have full and current out-door camping/survival gear, bags, tents, clothes, boots, tarps, related misc equipment, including hand-cranked generator, hand-cranked lantern, and hand-cranked flashlights, hand-crank radios, rechargeable 2-ways, flints, knives, etc I have the tools to do the electrical/mechanical carpentry work, and I have some how-to manuals for things I’m rusty at. Full workbench of nails, screws nuts & bolts that I’ve stripped off appliances/stuff I’ve thrown out over the years. I have 3 toolboxes that I could fill if I had to move 'em. I’m a good enough shot to keep my stuff too. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2007, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-join-my-band-of-post-apocalyptic-survivors-prove-your-worth/389966/43 "2007-01-29T23:10:58Z")
[QUOTE=spoke-] Now who’s going to help me pimp my road warrior ride? I’d like a cow-catcher on the front, and an armored turret with a mounted crossbow. [/QUOTE] **Argent Towers,** at your service! ---
**Author:** ![JustAnotherGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/58f4c7/32.png) [@JustAnotherGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustAnotherGeek)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2007, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-join-my-band-of-post-apocalyptic-survivors-prove-your-worth/389966/44 "2007-01-29T23:33:06Z")
[puts **spoke-** on _the list_] ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2007, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-join-my-band-of-post-apocalyptic-survivors-prove-your-worth/389966/45 "2007-01-29T23:40:18Z")
Ah…such faith. My first act as Maximum Proconsul is to appoint **Oakminster** as Supreme Viceroy. He can be Jackson to my Lee, Colingwood to my Nelson (only, you know, without either of us getting kilt in the process). Don’t worry…[Cincinnatus](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cincinatus) will be my inspiration. Or was that Incitatus? Anyway, we shall secure a defensible area against the mutants, winning over the survivors with our cunning, mercy and fashion sense. And Uzis. **Sunrazor** , **jjimm** and **Bear\_Nenno** can design the propaganda campaign and cool post-apocalyptic outfits. **JustAnotherGeek** is hereby appointed Lance Triumphant, field commander of our Forces of Goodness and Rightness. First order of business…brew more beer. Conquering a radioactive wasteland is thirsty business! ---
**Author:** ![boytyperanma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4491bb/32.png) [@boytyperanma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boytyperanma)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-join-my-band-of-post-apocalyptic-survivors-prove-your-worth/389966/46 "2007-01-30T00:11:30Z")
I’m very mechanicaly inclined. I’m good with most trades, carpentry, cabinetry, plumbing, electrical, roofing, automechanics etc. I drill wells and get water from them for a living. I have very good outdoor skills and can survive for a while on my own. Ive been told I’m a heartless bastered a couple times I’m sure that can prove usefull. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-join-my-band-of-post-apocalyptic-survivors-prove-your-worth/389966/47 "2007-01-30T00:11:32Z")
I can play guitar (assuming there are any intact). Without any access to recorded music, I would think that live music will again come to the forefront. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-join-my-band-of-post-apocalyptic-survivors-prove-your-worth/389966/48 "2007-01-30T00:14:42Z")
[QUOTE=silenus] First order of business…brew more beer. Conquering a radioactive wasteland is thirsty business! [/QUOTE] **SO SAY WE ALL!** ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-join-my-band-of-post-apocalyptic-survivors-prove-your-worth/389966/49 "2007-01-30T00:24:40Z")
First, I’m female and of childbearing age. As long as I can give the kids to someone else to actually raise, I’m ok with having them. Then, hell, I’m a librarian. I can find information (sure, it’d be in books, but it would still be there) and I can classify and catalog the hell out of anything that comes along. Otherwise, me? Fairly useless. But, hey, I’m a delight to be around! ---
**Author:** ![Sal\_Ammoniac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Sal\_Ammoniac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sal_Ammoniac)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-join-my-band-of-post-apocalyptic-survivors-prove-your-worth/389966/50 "2007-01-30T01:15:43Z")
Will you be needing any healthcare business analysts? No? Well, then, how about someone who can type upwards of 60 words a minute? No? How about if I volunteer to answer the phones: “Post-apocalyptic band, this is Sal speaking, how may I help you?” No? Um, telemarketing? No? Let’s see, I know a little Esperanto… Drat. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-join-my-band-of-post-apocalyptic-survivors-prove-your-worth/389966/51 "2007-01-30T01:37:41Z")
My blow jobs are legendary. And if one of my burly bandmates will fetch some firewood and some matches, I can build a rip roaring fire. ---
**Author:** ![threnodyangelfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@threnodyangelfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threnodyangelfire)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-join-my-band-of-post-apocalyptic-survivors-prove-your-worth/389966/52 "2007-01-30T01:43:48Z")
I am an awesome fishergal as well as a good cook. I can whip up a meal out of just about anything. I’m also a gal of reproductive age. I did once try to grow a vegetable garden without success though. That was scary for all involved. I can also train parrots. Can you imagine an army of attack parrots??? ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-join-my-band-of-post-apocalyptic-survivors-prove-your-worth/389966/53 "2007-01-30T01:47:05Z")
[QUOTE=PunditLisa] My blow jobs are legendary. And if one of my burly bandmates will fetch some firewood and some matches, I can build a rip roaring fire. [/QUOTE] You can be on my team. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-join-my-band-of-post-apocalyptic-survivors-prove-your-worth/389966/54 "2007-01-30T01:56:39Z")
**PunditLisa** must be in our roving band. I suspect we’ll have no problems reaching a consensus on this matter. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-join-my-band-of-post-apocalyptic-survivors-prove-your-worth/389966/55 "2007-01-30T01:57:53Z")
**So say we all!** ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-join-my-band-of-post-apocalyptic-survivors-prove-your-worth/389966/56 "2007-01-30T02:14:37Z")
hm…legendary, huh? Sorry, my mind is wandering… ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-join-my-band-of-post-apocalyptic-survivors-prove-your-worth/389966/57 "2007-01-30T02:33:43Z")
Re: Women of reproductive age: [QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever] hm…legendary, huh? Sorry, my mind is wandering… [/QUOTE] Looks like we won’t have any difficulty keeping the solar-heated houses warm even when it’s cloudy… 😃 (They can capture and store heat from _any_ source, really.) ---
**Author:** ![Sofaspud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8491ac/32.png) [@Sofaspud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofaspud)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-join-my-band-of-post-apocalyptic-survivors-prove-your-worth/389966/58 "2007-01-30T03:01:06Z")
- I know how to make (and have practiced making) concrete. Great stuff for keeping those stone-age marauders out of your personal space, damming streams or mighty rivers, and other useful activities. - I can throw axes, knives, spikes, and other bladed/pointy objects with a high degree of accuracy. I teach this skill for six weeks every summer, and upon request all year round (it’s FUN!). - Fish love me, and will throw themselves upon my hook with suicidal glee. Other fishermen give me dark looks when I catch my limit and leave while they’re still waiting for a bite. - I have learned, but not mastered, the principles of blacksmithing. At the very least, I can pump the bellows correctly. - I have raised chickens, rabbits, and goats. I know how to butcher all of them. I can also castrate and butcher a hog, but I have only the most basic of ideas on keeping one alive (ie, I can hurl slop and rake muck, but that’s about it). - I am a decent shot with a rifle, but absolutely amazing when it comes to split-second snap shots with a pistol (and not bad at clay pigeons with a shotgun). Therefore, I think I’d be better suited as a guard than as a hunter for our theoretical community. I have tested this skill against a human target with a paintball pistol, and against bobbing targets with a 9mm. - I am large and have been told by more than a few people that I look like a rapist. Thus, I think I’d make a good bodyguard-slash-intimidating-enforcer-type. I like wearing shades, so this isn’t a bad thing for me. - I can start fires by rubbing two dry Boy Scouts together. If that doesn’t work, I can also recognize flint and I assume that there will be plenty of scrap steel (or iron, or iron pyrite, or…) lying around after the Apocalypse. I routinely light my BBQ in this fashion. - I have stitched my own wounds. 'nuff said. - I can pick locks. It would probably be faster to just smash the windows on the abandoned store that houses our much-needed supplies, but assuming it hasn’t been looted already and is otherwise secure, this may come in handy. - I can whittle cooking and eating utensils out of scrap wood. My favorite example of this is still hanging on my wall - a spatula I created to replace the one I’d forgotten when going camping. The eggs-over-easy were perfect. - I can follow directions… completely. Unfortunately, I do not know how to brew beer, I am not a female (nor do I have the Legendary Blowjob talent), and I do not have access to my own personal stockpile of firearms (though hand-crafted bladed weapons might be in the offing), so it may be a moot point. I might be better off as dinner. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-join-my-band-of-post-apocalyptic-survivors-prove-your-worth/389966/59 "2007-01-30T03:10:06Z")
No problem. We have plenty of brewers, **PunditLisa** has already been accepted by acclamation, I have enough firearms to equip the Peruvian Army, and blades are fun. How would you like a job as Imperial Bodyguard? Sort of a post-apocalyptic Varangian? ---
**Author:** ![sinjin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@sinjin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sinjin)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-join-my-band-of-post-apocalyptic-survivors-prove-your-worth/389966/60 "2007-01-30T03:18:58Z")
Based on my recent experience with power outages in the freezing cold I came to the conclusion that I would be amongst the first volunteers to be eaten at the Donner party of 81. So, I guess my contribution to the band of post-a’s would be my chubby pink body. Bon apitete. I can also do calculus. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-join-my-band-of-post-apocalyptic-survivors-prove-your-worth/389966.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-want-to-join-my-band-of-post-apocalyptic-survivors-prove-your-worth/389966.md?page=4)