# You will now tell us where you have hidden zee documents! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 25, 2017, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-now-tell-us-where-you-have-hidden-zee-documents/785221 "2017-04-25T16:20:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ThatNJGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3e96dc/32.png) [@ThatNJGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThatNJGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-now-tell-us-where-you-have-hidden-zee-documents/785221/1 "2017-04-25T16:20:07Z")
For as far back as I can remember I and others in my family circle have long said this line jokingly to each other, sometimes the whole thing, sometime just part of it, but for the life of me I cannot recall where I first heard it. I assumed a relative, but where did they learn the line? I always assumed it was a movie quote, yet a google search for the phrase yields no quality results. Does anyone here know where the line is from, book, movie, TV, etc., etc.? _ **"You will now tell us where you have hidden zee documents!"** _ or _ **"But where are zee documents"** _ ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-now-tell-us-where-you-have-hidden-zee-documents/785221/2 "2017-04-25T16:23:26Z")
I can’t recall any movie where I heard either line as you give it, but there’s no shortage of stories where such hidden documents are crucial to the plot Edgar Allen Poe’s _The Purloined Letter_ Arthur Conan Doyle’s _A Scandal in Bohemia_ and _The Case of Charles Augustus Milverton_ The movie **Casablanca** ---
**Author:** ![ThatNJGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3e96dc/32.png) [@ThatNJGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThatNJGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-now-tell-us-where-you-have-hidden-zee-documents/785221/3 "2017-04-25T16:34:05Z")
True, true, true and true and while I appreciate the reply, still no closer to answering the mystery. One possible clue is that it’s always performed with a German accent which goes over big around here since we are in fact German by descent. Surely we didn’t invent the line. Only Mom and Uncle john were writers, but poets, not novelists, so that rules them out. Another clue, my cousin Charles says he remembers hearing it at a family gathering 20 odd years ago. So it’s old, it’s got legs. But where did it come from? ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-now-tell-us-where-you-have-hidden-zee-documents/785221/4 "2017-04-25T16:44:15Z")
Since the OP is looking for a quote from a book, movie, etc, let’s move this to Cafe Society. Colibri General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-now-tell-us-where-you-have-hidden-zee-documents/785221/5 "2017-04-25T16:54:32Z")
I dunno about hidden documents but there was a Cheech and Chong sketch that went something like: Ve vant you to zign zis paper! No, no, I’ll never sign! (Much back and forth and beatings ensue) Okay! Okay! I’ll sign. What does it say? Is zayz zat ve dit not harm you! ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-now-tell-us-where-you-have-hidden-zee-documents/785221/6 "2017-04-25T16:59:48Z")
Is this along the lines of “vee haf vays off makink you talk”? I always thought that was just generic bad guy talk and was meant to mock the Nazis. Or is that specific sentence about zee documents the part that you’re wondering about? I’ve never heard that particular phrase but both it and the example I gave make me think of [Colonel Klink](http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/hhwikia/images/d/d0/Colonel_Klink_2.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20130424135640) from Hogan’s Heroes. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-now-tell-us-where-you-have-hidden-zee-documents/785221/7 "2017-04-25T17:00:09Z")
This is a complete WAG, but could it be from _Get Smart_ (perhaps spoken by Siegfried)? ---
**Author:** ![ThatNJGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3e96dc/32.png) [@ThatNJGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThatNJGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-now-tell-us-where-you-have-hidden-zee-documents/785221/8 "2017-04-25T17:03:29Z")
LoL…funny as all get out, but the reference is still missing the key phrase “where are zee documents” that part is definitely the lock of the phrase. ---
**Author:** ![ThatNJGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3e96dc/32.png) [@ThatNJGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThatNJGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-now-tell-us-where-you-have-hidden-zee-documents/785221/9 "2017-04-25T17:10:19Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > …both it and the example I gave make me think of [Colonel Klink](http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/hhwikia/images/d/d0/Colonel_Klink_2.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20130424135640) from Hogan’s Heroes. Hogans Heroes was big around my house too. I’ve watched and re-watched all the episodes, but still haven’t heard it mentioned there. Same thing with Get Smart. Most often the shows ask for “zee papers”, not “zee documents”. I just hit up aunt Amile and she assures me that she heard it too, but also doesn’t know where it all began. She’s got about 15 years on me and was often my babysitter. She recalls her brother’s saying it. Uncle John refutes that by saying he never said it and doesn’t recall hearing it. BUT he’s alone because everyone else I’ve asked so far remembers it. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-now-tell-us-where-you-have-hidden-zee-documents/785221/10 "2017-04-25T17:25:12Z")
> [@DesertDog](#): > > I dunno about hidden documents but there was a Cheech and Chong sketch that went something like: > > Ve vant you to zign zis paper! > > No, no, I’ll never sign! > > (Much back and forth and beatings ensue) > > Okay! Okay! I’ll sign. What does it say? > > Is zayz zat ve dit not harm you! My recollection is this: **German:** Vee are killing zee girl tonight. [Old Man whimpers] **German:** Did you hear me old man? Vee are killing zee girl tonight. [Old man whimpers] **German:** Vould you like a Zigarette, old man? How about zees one? [Sizzling sound, old man cries out] **TV Viewer:** Ooh! He stuck it in his _eye_, man! **German:** Old man, all vee are asking is zat you sign see papers. **Old Man:** I vill not sign zee papers. [Sounds of Old Man being beaten] **German:** Sign zee papers! **Old Man:** Vat do zee papers say? **German:** Zey are merely a statement zat you haff not been mistreated vhile you haff been here. **Old Man:** I cannot sign zee papers. **German:** Und _vhy_ cannot you sign zee papers? **Old Man:** Because you haff broken both of my hands! [TV Viewer:] Oh, man. Is this movie a _bummer!_ Old Man, all vee are asking ---
**Author:** ![Cayuga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Cayuga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cayuga)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-now-tell-us-where-you-have-hidden-zee-documents/785221/11 "2017-04-25T17:59:06Z")
I signed in to post an agreement with **WOOKINPANUB** that it’s generic Nazi-villain talk. With my friends, the equivalent saying was “You vill sign zee papers!” Then I found out from **Johnny L.A.** that ours really did spring from an actual source. So maybe **ThatNJGuy** ’s did, too. The things you learn hanging around here. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-now-tell-us-where-you-have-hidden-zee-documents/785221/12 "2017-04-25T18:03:00Z")
I had a roommate in college who frequently used the “sign ze papers, old man!” line. I always wondered where that came from. Given that he was something of a stoner, the Cheech & Chong thing makes sense. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-now-tell-us-where-you-have-hidden-zee-documents/785221/13 "2017-04-25T18:12:27Z")
On re-read, I’ve remembered something I left out. > [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > My recollection is this: > > **German:** Vee are killing zee girl tonight. > > [Old Man whimpers] > > **German:** Did you hear me old man? Vee are killing zee girl tonight. > > [Old man whimpers] > > **German:** Vould you like a Zigarette, old man? How about zees one? **German:** Vee are killing zee girl tonight. [Old Man whimpers] **German:** Did you hear me old man? Vee are killing zee girl tonight. [Old man whimpers] **German:** You can _save_ her! Just sign see papers! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-now-tell-us-where-you-have-hidden-zee-documents/785221/14 "2017-04-25T18:16:02Z")
Aw, heck. I’ll just look up the track. [Tortured Old Man](https://music.amazon.com/albums/B00122OTV6?do=playfull&ref=pm_ws_dp_ald_tlw_pe_1_trk1&trackAsin=B00122S4DU) ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-now-tell-us-where-you-have-hidden-zee-documents/785221/15 "2017-04-25T19:03:19Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > I had a roommate in college who frequently used the “sign ze papers, old man!” line. I always wondered where that came from. Given that he was something of a stoner, the Cheech & Chong thing makes sense. I still use that line. Usually when some cute young thing hands me a credit card slip to sign. I crack me up. ---
**Author:** ![JeffB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeffb/32/188_2.png) [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2017, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-now-tell-us-where-you-have-hidden-zee-documents/785221/16 "2017-04-25T20:38:14Z")
> [@ThatNJGuy](#): > > For as far back as I can remember I and others in my family circle have long said this line jokingly to each other, sometimes the whole thing, sometime just part of it, but for the life of me I cannot recall where I first heard it. I assumed a relative, but where did they learn the line? I always assumed it was a movie quote, yet a google search for the phrase yields no quality results. Does anyone here know where the line is from, book, movie, TV, etc., etc.? > > _ **“You will now tell us where you have hidden zee documents!”** _ or _ **“But where are zee documents”** _ Any chance that you, or one of your family, ever went by the name **VVinter** on the ars technica forum? See the fifth entry in the [Give me random short phrases](https://arstechnica.com/civis/viewtopic.php?f=23&t=402937&start=40) thread. ---
**Author:** ![bunyupp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@bunyupp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bunyupp)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-now-tell-us-where-you-have-hidden-zee-documents/785221/17 "2017-04-26T01:44:40Z")
Cheech and Chong got the routine from the movie [Invisible Agent](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0034902/). ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2017, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-now-tell-us-where-you-have-hidden-zee-documents/785221/18 "2017-04-26T10:29:43Z")
> [@ThatNJGuy](#): > > _ **“You will now tell us where you have hidden zee documents!”** _ or _ **“But where are zee documents”** _ This sounds like Allo Allo. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-now-tell-us-where-you-have-hidden-zee-documents/785221/19 "2017-04-27T02:24:59Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > This sounds like Allo Allo. Yes. Spelling would probably be: \*\* ze documents \*\* ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-now-tell-us-where-you-have-hidden-zee-documents/785221/20 "2017-04-27T02:31:05Z")
All right, I put them in Sam’s piano. :dubious: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-now-tell-us-where-you-have-hidden-zee-documents/785221.md?page=2)