# "You Will Receive 11 Equal Payments" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 21, 2008, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-receive-11-equal-payments/460821 "2008-08-21T17:58:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-receive-11-equal-payments/460821/1 "2008-08-21T17:58:16Z")
This is so fucking stupid. Is anybody else a customer of Duke Energy? On their website for “Budget Billing” it says the following: > [@Duke Energy](#): > > Our records indicate that you are currently enrolled in the Quarterly Budget Billing Plan. Your monthly Budget Billing installment amount is $133.00. If you need further assistance, please e-mail or call our Customer Service Department toll-free at 1-800-521-2232. > > Budget Billing Program Options: > > Annual Plan > $159… You will receive 11 equal payments and 1 month true-up. > > Quarterly Plan > $133 … You will receive 3 equal payments and a recalculation for the next three equal payments. > > If you want to remove yourself from the Budget Billing Program, please click here > > For specific information related to your account, click on either Usage History or Billing History and receive up to 24 months of detailed information. > > Please Note: If you are a new customer, or if you have a new residence with no usage history, we will estimate your energy usage based upon the size of your residence and the number of people in your household. We recommend that you select the Quarterly Budget Billing plan option so that your monthly installment amount is automatically recalculated every three months on the Budget Billing Plan. So I wrote them to point out that I hadn’t received a payment yet this year. Now, I expected them to say “Oh, gee, you’re right, we’ll change the wording.” No. Instead, the stupid fucks keep arguing that “You will receive payments” somehow _actually_ means “You will make payments.” It’s like those idiots who use both a cent sign and a decimal on the outdoor advertising - .10/ea for something that’s clearly supposed to be ten cents, not a tenth of a cent. I’m always tempted to call them on it, but the dime doesn’t justify pulling over. Seems like there ought to be some kind of penalty for abuse of English in these circumstances. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-receive-11-equal-payments/460821/2 "2008-08-21T18:03:55Z")
I’m a little short. Could you borrow me .10 cents? ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-receive-11-equal-payments/460821/3 "2008-08-21T18:11:14Z")
AAAAAAAAArrrgh!!! :: pulling out hair :: ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-receive-11-equal-payments/460821/4 "2008-08-21T18:21:40Z")
You should have kept talking to them like an Abott & Costello “Who’s on First?” routine. "“It say’s here you are going to be sending me payments?” “Yes.” “And what should I do with these payments?” “Send us your payment.” “So you send me a payment, then I send you a payment?” “Yes.” “Well, how about you just keep the payment in the first place then I don’t even need to send it back to you?” “But we need your payment.” “But you already have my payment.” “No, we need you to end it to us.” “But not until you send it to me first?” “Exactly.” ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-receive-11-equal-payments/460821/5 "2008-08-21T18:30:26Z")
😛 Their latest missive reads: “Thank you for your email. The statement saying you will receive 3 equal payments, means you will have 3 equal payments due of $133.00.” To which I replied: " ‘Receiving payments’ means money will be received. Not owed. Receiving and owing are two entirely different words. In football, for example, the Receiver is the one who _catches_ the ball. And there is no mention on your website of anything ‘due’. Not ‘due’, ‘do’, ‘dew’, or the even more nonsensical (but potentially melodic) ‘dooby-dooby-do.’ " Who says SAHMs don’t have any fun? ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-receive-11-equal-payments/460821/6 "2008-08-21T18:39:56Z")
Why don’t they just call them what they are, billing statements, bills, payment notices, invoices? ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-receive-11-equal-payments/460821/7 "2008-08-21T18:41:54Z")
Probably using a feel-good marketing approach. "Let’s not use unhappy words like ‘pay up you deadbeats.’ " ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-receive-11-equal-payments/460821/8 "2008-08-21T18:45:02Z")
You might try contacting the local newspaper, as they may want to write it up and at least shame the company. Or perhaps bring it to the attention of the company’s marketing department. In my very limited experience with marketing folks, they are sensitive to use of the English language. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-receive-11-equal-payments/460821/9 "2008-08-21T19:19:57Z")
[QUOTE=Hampshire] Why don’t they just call them what they are, billing statements, bills, payment notices, invoices? [/QUOTE] Because nobody likes getting bills. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-receive-11-equal-payments/460821/10 "2008-08-21T19:26:41Z")
Go to Target and be a “guest” instead of a customer. ---
**Author:** ![samm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@samm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samm)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-receive-11-equal-payments/460821/11 "2008-08-21T20:12:05Z")
We should all call them from around the country, asking to sign up for their service and start receiving payments. I know I could sure use some payments right now! ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2008, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-receive-11-equal-payments/460821/12 "2008-08-22T12:43:29Z")
In a somewhat similar vein, misuse of English, I hate restaurants where the wait staff come by toward the end of the main course and say “May I offer you some dessert?” If I say yes, they expect me to pay for it. If I offer something to someone I don’t expect to be paid. ---
**Author:** ![Long\_Time\_Lurker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/2bfe46/32.png) [@Long\_Time\_Lurker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Long_Time_Lurker)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2008, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-receive-11-equal-payments/460821/13 "2008-08-22T20:13:59Z")
[QUOTE=GaryM] In a somewhat similar vein, misuse of English, I hate restaurants where the wait staff come by toward the end of the main course and say “May I offer you some dessert?” If I say yes, they expect me to pay for it. If I offer something to someone I don’t expect to be paid. [/QUOTE] This does not strike me as a misuse. Why must an offer equate to a gift? ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2008, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-receive-11-equal-payments/460821/14 "2008-08-22T20:33:14Z")
They finally changed it today. I received an email saying the IT Dept needed to fix it. T’yeah, right - blame IT. Hardly seems fair. ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2008, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-receive-11-equal-payments/460821/15 "2008-08-22T20:35:39Z")
[QUOTE=Dewey Finn] You might try contacting the local newspaper [/QUOTE] Somebody says this in every thread about any kind of perceived wrongdoing at the hands of a company, but nobody ever does anything about it, or if they do, the newspaper doesn’t give a damn, so really, what’s the point? Has anyone ever, even once in the history of the SDMB, convinced a local newspaper to do a feature about some shit they ranted about in the Pit? Anyone? _crickets chirp_ ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2008, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-receive-11-equal-payments/460821/16 "2008-08-22T20:46:10Z")
[QUOTE=GaryM] In a somewhat similar vein, misuse of English, I hate restaurants where the wait staff come by toward the end of the main course and say “May I offer you some dessert?” If I say yes, they expect me to pay for it. If I offer something to someone I don’t expect to be paid. [/QUOTE] The standard terminology of contract law is “offer and acceptance”, i.e., party A offers something and party B accepts it. If a judge were ever to parse the waiter’s, “May I offer you some dessert?”, the judge would translate that as “I am offering, as an agent of the restaurant, one or more of the desserts on our menu, at the prices listed on the menu, and subject to the other terms and conditions listed on the menu.” So it’s still an offer, and it seems unreasonable to interpret it as an offer to supply free of charge. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2008, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-receive-11-equal-payments/460821/17 "2008-08-22T20:49:02Z")
[QUOTE=neutron star] Somebody says this in every thread about any kind of perceived wrongdoing at the hands of a company, but nobody ever does anything about it, or if they do, the newspaper doesn’t give a damn, so really, what’s the point? Has anyone ever, even once in the history of the SDMB, convinced a local newspaper to do a feature about some shit they ranted about in the Pit? Anyone? _crickets chirp_ [/QUOTE] In my 10 years of retail I couldn’t tell you how many time customers who thought they were wronged would threaten to call the local newspaper or television station. My usual response… “Cool!” Unfortunately not once have I been on TV or in the newspaper. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2008, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-receive-11-equal-payments/460821/18 "2008-08-22T20:51:38Z")
[QUOTE=neutron star] Somebody says this in every thread about any kind of perceived wrongdoing at the hands of a company, but nobody ever does anything about it, or if they do, the newspaper doesn’t give a damn, so really, what’s the point? Has anyone ever, even once in the history of the SDMB, convinced a local newspaper to do a feature about some shit they ranted about in the Pit? Anyone? _crickets chirp_ [/QUOTE] Heh, this is actually probably a good point. You should start a thread about it (but probably not in the Pit… perhaps in IMHO?) ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2008, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-receive-11-equal-payments/460821/19 "2008-08-22T20:57:18Z")
[QUOTE=Fear Itself] Because nobody likes getting bills. [/QUOTE] Now _that’s_ a true statement. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2008, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-receive-11-equal-payments/460821/20 "2008-08-22T21:08:25Z")
[QUOTE=neutron star] Has anyone ever, even once in the history of the SDMB, convinced a local newspaper to do a feature about some shit they ranted about in the Pit? Anyone? _crickets chirp_ [/QUOTE] Convinced, no. Gotten a promise to publicize photos the next time I catch an RTS driver using their cell while driving? Yes. Guess who carries a digital camera now, whenever he uses the bus? ETA: Of course, the promise is worth the paper it’s written on. If this happens during the full fledged election season, no one will give a shit. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-will-receive-11-equal-payments/460821.md?page=2)