Pay off my Mom’s/Stepdad’s place and the In-law’s place. Take everyone to Disneyworld, then me and the husband go on a two year long tour of Europe. Buy myself a Vincent Black Shadow, and whatever The Highwayman wants (even though he just got a new bike ;)).
And I want a trebuchet. For launching old cars. Which I will fill with loosely-covered half-full cans of paint.
A house in LA, a house in the PNW, one in New England, one in Florida, and one in Colorado. Maybe a place in Alaska, too, and a mouldering old palazzo in Venice. Oh and a log mansion by Yosemite. All must have The Perfect Kitchen and accomodate up to 15 people.
Or, as the full name will be: The Trofim Lysenko Foundation for Western Studies.
I’d originally concieved this, in the 80’s as a way to slip scholarships to friends and people who interested me. While giving out backhanded compliments. If you don’t know, Trofim Lysenko was the Soviet scientist under Stalin who came up with a communist theory of biology. There are claims that his theories, with Stalin’s secret police enforcing their acceptance, kept Soviet biological science a long way behind western science.
So, what I’d do is hire a lawyer, and have him contact the Russian embassy. Then set up the foundation to give out at least two full-boat scholarships each year to one American and one Russian student. All funds would, of course, be given in amounts that at least look like they were some kind of round number of roubles. And I’d set it up so I had the freedom to give as many scholarships as I wanted for whatever reasons I wanted.
But I really do want to see the essays I’d get in response to: “Why I feel that I have the ability to expand upon Lysenko’s legacy.”
The big crazy thing I’d like to do is send out invitations, reserve enough rooms at a Vegas resort for a weekend, and charter a few planes for the first, last, and only all-expenses paid* world Dopefest. Any paid member who wants to come just has to show up at their local airport at the agreed on time.
Ivylad and I both sign the back of the ticket. Then, we consult with our accountant to see what would be best, a lump sum payment or annuities.
Pay off all the bills. I would donate some money to the local no-kill animal shelter and set up a scholarship fund to get incoming high schoolers out of our abysmal county public high schools and into a local private school. One boy and one girl, good grades, etc.
Set up college funds for the kidlets and the nieces and nephews.
I would probably continue to work for the next six months to a year. No sudden lifestyle changes and all that.
Pay off my dad’s RV, or buy him the honking big one he wants next.
Of course, this will all be done anonymously under our LLC. I want no one to know we’ve won. After all, we could have won the lottery already…it’s not like you would ever know.
I would consume most conspicuously but donate a lot to charity too.
I’d take trips to see all the people I keep saying I’ll come visit when I have the money. And bring them nice presents, like cars or something, when I arrived.
I’d have the houses of various poor relatives fixed or rebuilt.
I’d set up college funds for all my little cousins.
–Set up an organization that helps deserving single women start their own companies.
–Give money to all the local schools for art and music programs and to pay teachers what they deserve.
–Give money to the police department so they can hire the number of officers they need to re-establish some law and order here. I want them to be so bored that grafitti is a high priority.
–Create an organization that will help the huge number of homeless people here by evaluating the cause of the homelessness and offering the appropriate treatment, whether it be medical treatment, psychological treatment, job training, small loans to get them started or commitment to an institution where they can receive proper care.
–Create an environmental movement in Hawaii through education, advertising and activism to reduce the litter and toxic dumping and to protect/recover the natural beauty of the islands, waterways and surrounding ocean.
–Then, with all my little companies up and running under competent management, I would selfishly buy a luxury 35’ sportfishing boat and take tourists on day trips to catch mahi mahi, billfish, and other large fascinating creatures of the sea for all the rest of the days of my life.
Mostly I would do sensible things, but on the “crazy” side, I’d take my extended family (brothers, nieces, and their respective spouses and children) on a big annual vacation to Disney World or Hawaii or New Zealand or wherever.
And I’d probably become the next Marlins Man and attend all the big sporting events around the world. I’d be less flashy about it though; I’d much rather be rich and unknown than rich and famous.
On the ‘crazy’ side, I’d by every single mainline-release Star Wars Lego set that I don’t own. Yes, even that discontinued one - it’d be, like, a dozen more sets! (Okay, so I’m pretty deep into that craziness even without the lotto money.)
In the new house I’d get, I’d have a sweet projector. Hmm, I wonder how much a theater-quality 3D projector costs, one that uses unpowered lenticular glasses rather than the powered ones. (And do they make one low-powered enough to be used in a reasonably small room without setting the opposite wall on fire?)
