Eeeeyeah… after reading all these posts, I think I’ve decided that I will not be buying a lottery ticket. I don’t want all this stress in my life.
Can’t be - otherwise all those stories you hear of groups going in together on a bunch of tickets would not work.
Well, so far it’s been kind of underwhelming. I’m at work as usual and no one has really made a big deal about me winning.
I won $8!
Maaaaate!!! How are you!!!
+4 hours Find a nice old-style italian restau and order wine and pizza. Mentally plot out the following, and write them on a table napkin:
- your existing deposit accounts
- stock brokers
- Tbill brokers
- banks with trust banking operations
- latest models of Suzuki GSXR 600 and Harley Davidson heritage soft tail
+5-8
- If the banks are open, start inquiring about a trust account for the kid and the wife.
- write your resignation letter but schedule a really bad-ass send-off party (make sure the party is at least 10 days away.
+9-15 sleep
+16-20
- Call a contractor to modify your front lawn and garage to accommodate two new large bikes.
- Call the wife and invite her to dinner tell her you’ve decided to work freelance (freelance whatever) and you will either work from the house or on the road (ergo, new motorcycles)
- Talk to your brokers (both bonds and stocks.)
+21-24 (assume the check clears)
- finalize your stock and bond picks
- finalize the terms of the trust funds (make it simple-apple pie)
- dinner/supper with the wife (time is already confusing you) tell her the good news (all except your winning the jack pot.)
25-31 sleep
32-36
- write out checks for your motorcycle, stock and bond purchases
- sign the trust agreement with you as trustor (let the bank handle the details with the beneficiaries)
- prepare to engage your wife with whatever hint she drops (the car or trip she always dreamed about, etc.) tell her you’ll work it out real soon.
37-48
Free
Go large at McDonald’s, maybe even get an ice cream after!
Yeah, yeah, dream on, I know.
Hours 1-2: Tell family and friends.
Hours 3-47: Hire crack team of mercenaries to lay waste to my enemies.
Hour 48: Eat Häagen-Dazs.
Sounds like “no body, no lawsuit, and, I’ve still got 6, 998,000 dollars; less 1500 for cheap used pickup, 300 dollars to local crackhead, 30 for a quality shovel, and the remainder for gas, prices varying!”
Hmmm…good point.
Get lawyer.
Leave town.
Check out ebay.
Enroll in Eastern European dating site.
Experience shows that a huge amount of money makes people do things they would not normally do.
In particular, most relations of lottery winners:
-
pester you for money
-
tell other people, meaning you get loads of strangers pestering you for money
Many years ago I did get a decent sum (£23,000 or about $33,000) from a mortgage mis-selling claim. Given the claim went back 24 years, it was a surprise when it was approved.
The two things I did were: -
get investment advice
-
tell no-one
That worked out pretty well. 
I buy my tickets online so my notification would come in an email from OLG telling me I won and to check my online account.
Once I’d verified that it was not the usual free ticket, I would call the neighbours (I handle the account but we split on tickets) and since we are already booked to go away together this weekend we would continue with that plan and spend our time making plans, celebrating and overtipping our favorite waitress.
Rather confirming plans. How to spend our lottery winnings is a favorite hot tub conversation so we’re pretty set if it ever happens.
- I book the appointment with OLG to fill in forms and pick up the cheque, along with the car service to transport us so we don’t have to draw straws for who has to abstain from the celebration drink.
- C arranges for the financial planner and sets up our budget (there’s a reason he gets financial matters - Even if the win is huge he’s already planning budgets to keep the rest of us in line)
After the 48:
General overview of plan
- We take enough money to pay off all current debt which is mainly mortgages and to have some fun in the first year.
- C works with the financial planner to determine an income level from about 75% of the reminder of the winnings and we plan a payout schedule for that.
2a. Any withdrawl from the principal of the income investments requires 4 signatures. - We travel around the world to find a place for our dream vacation home. No purchases allowed for at least 6 months to ensure that we’ve done at least some research. Once we’ve narrowed down a location we take a few weeks to look at alternatives there and either buy or decide to wait.
- During this period watch the exchange rate closely and once it’s closer to par, convert our house budget to US$. Much more likely to be buying is US than Cdn.
If I won, I’d spend a few hours in shock, realising that my entire life was about to change. After that, I’d put the signed ticket into my fireproof safe, and pull out my rainy day fund.
And then I would blow most of it on a hell of a party. I’m pretty sure it’s against the board rules to discuss all of the illegal drugs and shenanigans that would be happening. I’d invite everyone I know, and a good time would be had by all. I would be the only one who knew that it was actually my goodbye party.
You see my circle of friends are, to put it politely, a pack of vultures and thieves. There’s no way I’d have any of that jackpot left if I stayed. There’s just too much need for me to do anything other than go broke trying to help. I would have to leave my entire life behind, and create a new one somewhere else with a different name after I claimed the ticket. After the party, I’d do the responsible stuff with lawyers and assembling a financial team to manage my new wealth before I claimed the ticket. Once my new identity was set up, I’d claim the ticket, then I would disappear.
Just how shitty an investment is a lottery ticket? I know, you’re much more likely to be struck by lightning than to win the top prize; but on the other hand if your chances of winning are miniscule, so is the ticket price compared to the jackpot. But on the other other hand, the odds being what they are, “in the long run” is so far in excess of a human lifetime that a statistical approach might have little meaning. But then of course there are the lesser prizes to consider. So overall, is the return on the lottery a modest fraction of the ticket cost, or is it an infinitesimally tiny fraction?
So suppose I find out tomorrow morning my Lotto Max ticket won. I’m $40 million richer.
The first thing I’d do is inform my wife, and we’d jump up and down happily. Then we get down to business.
I live near Toronto so I’d take a train into town and go to the prize claim center, which as it happens I’ve walked past (it’s in a big office building on the main floor.) I would claim the prize alone, as I have a very common and boring name. My spouse does not. You have to get there by noon on Saturdays so I would. The process takes hours, so I likely would not get home until later in the day.
Canada does not tax lottery winnings; you walk away with a cheque for the full amount. My bank has lots of branches open until 4 PM so I’d hopefully be able to go straight from the prize center to the bank. I would ask to speak to a manger privately and then process my deposit that way. Taking away a receipt of deposit, photocopied, I’d then go home via traina and we’d take the kids out to a nice dinner.
Sunday we’d prepare our letters of resignation but would not send them; that happens only when the cheque clears. We’d have fun with the kids but begin the process of planning out how to allocate some of the money to family.
There would be no party, no formal celebration with anyone but our family. No one would be told, and we’d hope the anonymity of my boring name would keep it from getting out. Only the few family members that get money would know and the #1 condition of receiving the money is telling no one where it came from.
Did anyone say hookers and blow yet? Not that I’d want to do that, but just checking… 
My first 48 hours would be consumed by meetings with lottery officials, financial advisors, attorneys, and accountants. Sorry to be so boring, but this stuff is getting squared away. Hookers and blow can wait.
Here’s your first wrinkle of realization about how much money you’ve got. How much of that money you’ve just deposited is backstopped by government guarantee if the bank fails? It’s nothing close to the full $40 million. It’s probably safe, but…
I’ve thought about this. My money will be invested post haste in a number of financial instruments. I should hope my bank could hold on for three weeks or so until everything is settled.
It’s always time for hookers and blow! 
First call would be to my buddy, “Hey, gimme the name/number of that lawyer you deal with who sets up trusts?” If it was a weekend there would be much internet [del]shopping[/del] browsing until I could talk to him. Second call would be to that lawyer & meet with him to establish financial planning - trust(s); etc. Then figure out the most anonymous way to collect; have the lawyer do it on behalf of the trust? Rent an apartment two counties away & “move” there before claiming? Finally meet with financial advisor team to determine how/where to place the funds. While I’m waiting for the return phone calls, start thinking about the color pattern for my new balloon.
Remember that SIPC (brokerage insurance) covers you if the brokerage goes under or at higher amounts that FDIC insurance on a bank account. Additionally, many brokerages have private, secondary insurance for many millions over & above SIPC coverage. Note that it will not cover loss due to fluctuation in market value of your investments, but given your wealth you’re main investment goal is probably protection of capital so a significant portion of assets would be in blue chip stocks & AAA bonds which should not lose much unless the broad market declines.