# You won't be raped tonight...you're fucking welcome, bitch. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 1, 2013, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845 "2013-06-01T06:05:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Krav\_Manga](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/krav_manga/32/3153_2.png) [@Krav\_Manga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krav_Manga)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/181 "2013-06-03T11:25:11Z")
Bitch, we live in a world that has bars, and women in those bars have to be guarded by men with dicks. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Barfly? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Douchebag and you curse me. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know, that death staring another man, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives! You don’t want the truth, because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me in that bar. You need me in that bar. We use words like “honor”, “code”, “loyalty”. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a woman who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it! I would rather you just said “thank you”, and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you grow a dick and play the male part . Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to! ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/182 "2013-06-03T11:45:07Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > All day today I was worried I was going to get raped tonight, but then I read this thread title and was so relieved. Thank you so much, Chessic Sense, though calling me a bitch was unnecessary. En garde! 'Tis a new day. ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/183 "2013-06-03T13:15:56Z")
I think the most offensive thing about this thread is the throwaway line that included the OP’s assumption that Barfly and/or her roommate screwed the Marine after they left the bar to show their gratitude for his manly assistance. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/184 "2013-06-03T13:30:05Z")
> [@obfusciatrist](#): > > Did you hear that ladies? 70% of you are going to be raped! Which means it is probably going to be by a stranger in or right outside of a bar! So carry a manly man around with you to protect your honor. > > Good thing you’ve spent a decade us telling us a nonsensical statistic or we wouldn’t know this vital responsibility we have. Here’s the deal - nobody was about to be raped inside that bar. But someone could have been punched, or stabbed, or shot, in the bar or just outside. He shouldn’t have brought up rape, but he was probably justified in seeing danger of some kind. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/185 "2013-06-03T13:36:31Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > :dubious: > > I actually do think it’s possible to be more violent than that, since he wasn’t actually violent at all. Sure, he ran his mouth, as drunk loudmouths in bars are wont to do, but he didn’t actually lay a hand on anyone, did he? Which is not to say that you shouldn’t have told him to leave your friends alone, or kept an eye on your friends until they were safely on their way home, or told the bouncer to kick the jackass out of the bar. But let’s not make this into more than it was. You had a tense situation that you handled pretty well, although probably more aggressively than was necessary, but all in all things ended up OK. Had you mentioned it as an anecdote in a relevant thread, I expect you’d have gotten nothing but kudos. > > But this thread? Not so impressive. You come across like a self-congratulatory, blowhard douchebag throughout. I suspect you’re somewhat unbearable to be around in real life. But the reason he’s mad is because the women didn’t give him “nothing but kudos.” So he’s reacting to that. Take all the sexual politics out of this, and you have a guy who thought he was doing a good thing for someone else and was criticized for it (because of sexual politics). I don’t blame him for being mad about that, though I wouldn’t have posted like he did. Now, maybe he’s dead wrong. Maybe he read the situation wrong and overreacted. But his post isn’t about that, nor was his argument with his wife and friend. They should have taken the male-female thing out of it and just talked about whose reading of the situation was accurate, but of course it turned into a gender thing - which isn’t at all surprising. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/186 "2013-06-03T13:39:31Z")
Well Chessic, it’s obvious that you made at least 3 mistakes. First, you expected some recognition for your actions. I approve of what you did, but there was no point in expecting any appreciation. Second, you mentioned this lack of appreciation to your wife. I assume that in time you will learn not to do that again. Third, you posted about it here on the Dope. So next time, just be the strong silent type. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/187 "2013-06-03T13:45:30Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Well Chessic, it’s obvious that you made at least 3 mistakes. > > First, you expected some recognition for your actions. I approve of what you did, but there was no point in expecting any appreciation. But he got much more than lack of appreciation - he got anger from those he thought would appreciate it. If you approve of his actions, you should disapprove of that anger. > [@](#): > > Second, you mentioned this lack of appreciation to your wife. I assume that in time you will learn not to do that again. It’s not clear from his post, but it appears that the wife expressed DISapproval before he ever mentioned anything about wanting appreciation. > [@](#): > > Third, you posted about it here on the Dope. Yeah, now that was a huge mistake. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/188 "2013-06-03T13:46:40Z")
> [@bobkitty](#): > > I think the most offensive thing about this thread is the throwaway line that included the OP’s assumption that Barfly and/or her roommate screwed the Marine after they left the bar to show their gratitude for his manly assistance. I must have missed that. ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/189 "2013-06-03T13:49:25Z")
> [@bobkitty](#): > > I think the most offensive thing about this thread is the throwaway line that included the OP’s assumption that Barfly and/or her roommate screwed the Marine after they left the bar to show their gratitude for his manly assistance. Yep. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/190 "2013-06-03T14:07:48Z")
> [@Krav\_Manga](#): > > Bitch, we live in a world that has bars, and women in those bars have to be guarded by men with dicks. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Barfly? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Douchebag and you curse me. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know, that death staring another man, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives! You don’t want the truth, because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me in that bar. You need me in that bar. We use words like “honor”, “code”, “loyalty”. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a woman who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it! I would rather you just said “thank you”, and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you grow a dick and play the male part . Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to! Did you order the Code Red? ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/191 "2013-06-03T14:11:59Z")
> [@Krav\_Manga](#): > > Bitch, we live in a world that has bars, and women in those bars have to be guarded by men with dicks. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Barfly? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Douchebag and you curse me. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know, that death staring another man, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives! You don’t want the truth, because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me in that bar. You need me in that bar. We use words like “honor”, “code”, “loyalty”. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a woman who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it! I would rather you just said “thank you”, and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you grow a dick and play the male part . Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to! Clap clap clap. That was beautiful, man. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/192 "2013-06-03T14:14:55Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > Did you ask Roomie if she wanted you to go to bat for her? Thread should have ended with this question. ---
**Author:** ![Oliveritaly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oliveritaly/32/15233_2.png) [@Oliveritaly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oliveritaly)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/193 "2013-06-03T14:20:41Z")
> [@Krav\_Manga](#): > > Bitch, we live in a world that has bars, and women in those bars have to be guarded by men with dicks. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Barfly? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Douchebag and you curse me. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know, that death staring another man, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives! You don’t want the truth, because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me in that bar. You need me in that bar. We use words like “honor”, “code”, “loyalty”. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a woman who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it! I would rather you just said “thank you”, and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you grow a dick and play the male part . Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to! I’d like to buy you a drink for this … it brought a tear to my eye. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/194 "2013-06-03T14:20:49Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > But the reason he’s mad is because the women didn’t give him “nothing but kudos.” So he’s reacting to that. Which is not part of the man-code he has been prattling on about. A real man would have done what he thought needed to be done and done it with no thought to the adulation that was to be heaped upon him for his actions. His over-concern for not being thanked says a lot about what his motivations were. > [@](#): > > Now, maybe he’s dead wrong. Maybe he read the situation wrong and he over-reacted. If he over-reacted he was wrong and if he was wrong in his actions he was wrong to expect thanks. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/195 "2013-06-03T14:23:48Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > Did you ask Roomie if she wanted you to go to bat for her? > [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Thread should have ended with this question. Except that I asked it two posts earlier 😛 > [@saje](#): > > \*\*Did Barfly and Roommate ask for help? \*\* As a woman who hates conflict, I appreciate the gallantry. On the other hand, I’ve always thought that favors should be done just to do them, if you get thanks for it that’s great, but don’t expect to be thanked. Do the right thin for the sake of doing the right thing. > > There’s also the point that many people - women included - would rather fight their own battles. We have voices, we can ask Douche’s Friend and Bouncer and Bartender to get the Douche the hell away just as well as any guy. Posturing can backfire, as you’ve just learned. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/196 "2013-06-03T14:39:19Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > your lengthy rant about the ungrateful bitches who deserve to be raped for their bad attitudes But now you’re the one escalating. He said no such thing. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/197 "2013-06-03T14:42:43Z")
> [@White SIFL](#): > > Which is not part of the man-code he has been prattling on about. A real man would have done what he thought needed to be done and done it with no thought to the adulation that was to be heaped upon him for his actions. His over-concern for not being thanked says a lot about what his motivations were. But, as I just explained, his OP said absolutely nothing about expecting to be praised. He simply didn’t expect to be criticized. There is nothing in his post to indicate that he wanted praise - the idea that he should be thanked doesn’t come up until AFTER he was criticized. > [@](#): > > If he over-reacted he was wrong and if he was wrong in his actions he was wrong to expect thanks. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Of course, and that’s the core of this whole dispute - did he overreact or not? He thinks he judged the situation right; the women didn’t. Unfortunately, because of the male-female dynamic, a whole bunch of other crap is mixed in, both between him and his wife and friend, and between people on this board discussing it. He is at fault for that too. ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/198 "2013-06-03T14:43:50Z")
> [@Krav\_Manga](#): > > Bitch, we live in a world that has bars, and women in those bars have to be guarded by men with dicks. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Barfly? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Douchebag and you curse me. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know, that death staring another man, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives! You don’t want the truth, because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me in that bar. You need me in that bar. We use words like “honor”, “code”, “loyalty”. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a woman who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it! I would rather you just said “thank you”, and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you grow a dick and play the male part . Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to! Bravo. Freedom isn’t free. It’s bought with blood. And dicks. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/199 "2013-06-03T14:45:51Z")
> [@Krav\_Manga](#): > > You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know, that death staring another man, while tragic, probably saved lives. You know, sometimes I forget how easy I have it. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/200 "2013-06-03T14:47:37Z")
> [@saje](#): > > There’s also the point that many people - women included - would rather fight their own battles. We have voices, we can ask Douche’s Friend and Bouncer and Bartender to get the Douche the hell away just as well as any guy. Posturing can backfire, as you’ve just learned. There are, of course, two versions of what was happening. To the ladies, perhaps it was just a jerk that they could handle without male posturing. To the guys, it was a male about to get violent, at which point the ladies would not be just “fighting their own battles” because that would be literally fighting. It’s a hard call. I don’t believe in the whole “defend a woman” crap - let them argue all they want, with anyone they want. But when there’s a real threat of imminent violence, I’m going to be ready to step in–and that’s to defend anyone, male or female. But that’s me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845.md?page=11)