# You won't be raped tonight...you're fucking welcome, bitch. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 1, 2013, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845 "2013-06-01T06:05:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/221 "2013-06-03T18:48:59Z")
There’s also the possibility the women were drunk off their asses and didn’t realize what was really going down and the OP was only moderately drunk. He may have been “drunk” when composing that post, but besides coming off a bit pissed off and a few poor word choices, that was a fairly well written post. He sure wasn’t drunk drunk when he wrote that. ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/222 "2013-06-03T18:50:56Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > Yes, it started that way from the very beginning. My point still stands though. If you take the politics out, and ignore his own statements about it, it’s easier to judge. If you take politics out and ignore his statements, then we might as well start a whole new thread because it’s now a different topic and argument. > [@](#): > > But to him, the threat was so obvious that he thought there was no need to ask. If someone’s an obvious threat, I’m not going to ask anyone else if they agree before responding. He must have seriously misjudged the threat - quite possibly because he was drunk, and a male jerk - but I’m just saying it’s possible for a situation to occur where you don’t need to ask. Yes, in general it might be possible. But not in the situation under discussion here. And what’s obviously dangerous to one person may be another’s keep-an-eye-on-it PITA moment. > [@](#): > > Yes. I’m only speculating here, and trying to get inside his head a little. Enjoy 😉 ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/223 "2013-06-03T18:52:40Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > “Because I have to play the male role right now.” Haaaaa!!! That has been quoted to death in this thread. OP is never gonna live that down. He actually said “male part,” which… maybe I’m alone in this, but the first thing that comes to _my_ mind… ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/224 "2013-06-03T18:56:15Z")
Dude, just come out of the closet already 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/225 "2013-06-03T19:01:18Z")
VT’s homoerotic leanings aside, he makes a good point. OP made it clear from the start that he was ready to be the dick for the night. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/226 "2013-06-03T19:09:47Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > He may have been “drunk” when composing that post, but besides coming off a bit pissed off and a few poor word choices, that was a fairly well written post. He sure wasn’t drunk drunk when he wrote that. You don’t even want to know how many posts I’ve written for the dope when I was stinking drunk. It’s not hard, you just have to keep as laserlike a focus as possible on each individual word, use the backspace incessantly and take a number of breaks and/or shots as the situation calls for. ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/227 "2013-06-03T19:16:23Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > But to him, the threat was so obvious that he thought there was no need to ask. If someone’s an obvious threat, I’m not going to ask anyone else if they agree before responding. He must have seriously misjudged the threat - quite possibly because he was drunk, and a male jerk - but I’m just saying it’s possible for a situation to occur where you don’t need to ask. But his reaction to the “obvious threat” is to: a) Make sure his Marine buddy had his back… and b) Affix his steely eyed glare at the offending party, assuming that the guy would not be able to ignore the manly challenge. He didn’t go get the bouncer until: after > [@the OP](#): > > a slew of taunts and invitations to ‘go outside.’ He keeps saying he’s a ‘dangerous’ and ‘crazy’ man, which to be honest, got my heart racing. At this point, I’m thinking I might be in some serious trouble here. Not only did his “gaze of doom” plan fail, his buddy had to bail him out: > [@the OP](#): > > Marine [his buddy] sees this whole thing and takes over on my end, freeing me to quickly talk to Douchebag’s friend and the bouncer. Now, I wasn’t there, and I’m not his lawyer, etc., etc., but he does paint himself up to look like he had realized too late that he had bit off more than he could chew… ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/228 "2013-06-03T19:22:59Z")
> [@saje](#): > > If you take politics out and ignore his statements, then we might as well start a whole new thread because it’s now a different topic and argument. Nah, we still have “was the douchebag a threat?” > [@](#): > > And what’s obviously dangerous to one person may be another’s keep-an-eye-on-it PITA moment. Exactly my point. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/229 "2013-06-03T19:27:03Z")
> [@mlees](#): > > But his reaction to the “obvious threat” is to: > > a) Make sure his Marine buddy had his back… > > and b) Affix his steely eyed glare at the offending party, assuming that the guy would not be able to ignore the manly challenge. Yes, but that was only after the guy said “WTF you looking at” etc. But yeah, he failed to defuse the situation. And looking at it again, he yammered on about “playing the male part” to “shoo away creeps” as opposed to protecting from violence. Still, the fact that he just turns to the guy and gets the “WTF you looking at” comment makes me think the douche really was being a douche. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/230 "2013-06-03T19:27:52Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > It was a self-designation of one of history’s most fascinating men, who has been of considerable interest to me (on both amateur and professional planes) for many years. > > Sir Richard Francis Burton. What about the astral and the ethereal? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/231 "2013-06-03T20:05:43Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > “Because I have to play the male role right now.” Haaaaa!!! That has been quoted to death in this thread. OP is never gonna live that down. Last time I played the male role I was 18 years old and I came to in a linen closet with my mouth fulla uncooked macaroni and a missing toenail. Bitches. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/232 "2013-06-03T20:10:18Z")
Mine was a porta potty and uncooked Ramen noodles and a mullet hair cut… ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/233 "2013-06-03T22:58:52Z")
You guys took too long. I would have taken the entire group outside straight to the cars after his first pass. If the weirdo follows and gives trouble outside, hit him at some crucial nerve ending, like the kisser, the eyes, groin, etc. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/234 "2013-06-03T23:36:57Z")
> [@the\_diego](#): > > You guys took too long. I would have taken the entire group outside straight to the cars after his first pass. If the weirdo follows and gives trouble outside, hit him at some crucial nerve ending, like the kisser, the eyes, groin, etc. What crucial nerve ending is located in “the kisser”? . . . ETA: I have some post baccalaureate work in biochem, but apparently I missed something in neurophysiology. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/235 "2013-06-04T00:33:36Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > You won’t be raped tonight…you’re fucking welcome, bitch. Some folks go to bars where a variety of house brews are served. Some folks go to bars where good bands play. But then there’s you, Chessic, who goes to bars where women are raped. I didn’t know that women were routinely raped in bars. I don’t doubt that it has happened on rare occasion, but to my pedestrian way of thinking, most bar owners prefer to offer something other than rape to attract patrons, and most rapists prefer to rape somewhere other than in a public bar. That you managed to sniff out such an environment for your and your wife’s pleasure is a tribute to your manliness. Or perhaps the fact is that no one was going to rape anyone at that bar, and you were using the women as an excuse for your puffery. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/236 "2013-06-04T00:53:35Z")
> [@the\_diego](#): > > You guys took too long. I would have taken the entire group outside straight to the cars after his first pass. If the weirdo follows and gives trouble outside, hit him at some crucial nerve ending, like the kisser, the eyes, groin, etc. Your strategy is inefficient. I would never even have taken anyone in my group inside to begin with. I would just wait in the bar parking lot and stake out the entrance until I was sure everything was safe. Then I would throw smoke bombs through the bar windows and pre-emptively murder everyone in the building with knives! Probably better kill the witnesses, too: better safe than sorry! Also, I’d probably bring like an entire case of strawberry-kiwi Boone’s Farm. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/237 "2013-06-04T01:47:32Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > Yes, but that was only after the guy said “WTF you looking at” etc. > > But yeah, he failed to defuse the situation. And looking at it again, he yammered on about “playing the male part” to “shoo away creeps” as opposed to protecting from violence. Still, the fact that he just turns to the guy and gets the “WTF you looking at” comment makes me think the douche really was being a douche. No one, not one poster, in this thread has painted the douche as anything but a douche, a massive one. This conversation isn’t about that. It’s about how the OP was being irresponsible in that situation in his dealings with said douche. Someone behaving badly in public doesn’t excuse bad behavior in return. I don’t blame the OP for his actions (he was drunk) but let’s not make his actions into some noble deed. Also, his whole ‘man part’ bs is silly, and his need for glory debases all of it anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/238 "2013-06-04T02:15:08Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > This whole threads kind of funny because instead of just dropping it, **Chessic Sense** is still looking for a fight. What?! Are you _kidding me_? I’m having a blast! I hope this thread goes on forever! I love these little dust-ups. I could go for a little more ‘comprehending my posts,’ but the wit more than makes up for it. > [@White SIFL](#): > > If you’ve been harping about it here I can only imagine what you were like in person. You don’t think maybe she said that just to shut you up? More ‘making stuff up to have more ammunition.’ You’re assuming facts not in evidence and wildly conjecturing. “Yeah, that’s it. She said it to shut him up. That’s the ticket.” > [@TriPolar](#): > > Well Chessic, it’s obvious that you made at least 3 mistakes. > > First, you expected some recognition for your actions. I approve of what you did, but there was no point in expecting any appreciation. > > Second, you mentioned this lack of appreciation to your wife. I assume that in time you will learn not to do that again. > > Third, you posted about it here on the Dope. 1. For the umpteenth time, including the OP, I simply expected to _not be mocked_ for my actions. 2. Nu uh. Did not. 3. I’m getting what I came for. > [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > It’s a hard call. I don’t believe in the whole “defend a woman” crap - let them argue all they want, with anyone they want. But when there’s a real threat of imminent violence, I’m going to be ready to step in–and that’s to defend anyone, male or female. But that’s me. Absolutely. I’d defend you, too, if you were getting unwelcome attention from a violent douchebag. > [@shiftless](#): > > I tended bar for a few years in a dive bar on the edge of town. This drama played out in various forms almost every single night This ‘what’ did ‘what’ in various forms? How often? This drama played out every singe night? You mean, a drama like in a theater? With roles and lines and stuff? Every single night, like it’s a common thing? Wow, could you imagine being _in_ one of those situations? You might be so familiar with it that you even know why you’re in the part you’re in. Heck, you might even be typecast! > [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > Perhaps he could have just talked to the guy nicely, but he didn’t know the guy. Maybe he thought that would just escalate things. I already answered this when people were suggesting I just ask Barfly if she needed help. Hell, one guy suggested I say it _so the other guy could hear_! Rookie mistake! That’s how you get your ass kicked for real. > [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > Thanks. > > I also see there that the author says he was still drunk when he posted the OP - which explains alot. “Still” drunk? I should hope so! It was posted a half hour after the fact! And I love how people are talking so much about my apparent sexism and disrespect of women, when you’ve got this stuff right under your nose… > [@Muffin](#): > > Some folks go to bars where a variety of house brews are served. Some folks go to bars where good bands play. But then there’s you, Chessic, who goes to bars where women are raped. Y’here that, you stupid hussy? You got raped because you went to the wrong bar! It’s your fault, you whore. Won’t be making that mistake again, now will ya, tramp? > [@bobkitty](#): > > I think the most offensive thing about this thread is the throwaway line that included the OP’s assumption that Barfly and/or her roommate screwed the Marine after they left the bar to show their gratitude for his manly assistance. Hehe, I know right? Women having sex. So offensive. What a disgusting harlot, amirite? So the takeaways from this thread, for me, are clear. If the person is a friend who needs help, I should let someone else handle it, but if it’s a Doper who hates me and definitely doesn’t want my help, I should help anyway. Also, if a woman definitely wants someone to go away, maybe she can be wooed still, but if she actually goes home with a friend of mine, it’s offensive to say so. And finally, women can handle themselves but need my help, while rapists let you know they’re rapists upfront, being the gentlemen that they are. Oh, and rape doesn’t just happen to anyone, anywhere, and definitely not late at night after some alcohol is involved. That about sum it up? ---
**Author:** ![Tracijo67](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@Tracijo67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracijo67)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/239 "2013-06-04T02:18:56Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > Judging from the OP, which of course is only one side of the story, it was perfectly normal to assume that the guy was a threat of violence, and perfectly normal to assume a woman (or man) would want protection from it. > > If I’m ever in a similar situation (as described in the OP at least) I’m going to go ahead and assume my wife would want me to be aware and ready to protect her without having to ask her first. I’d be an ass for not doing so. And it’s not the least bit sexist either. I’d do the same for a male friend, or anyone who was more vulnerable than me, and I’d expect it from anyone in a position to help me, even a female. > > Again, take the sexual politics out of this and it is more clear. I don’t get the danger part. Sure would appreciate the help if I’m in a deserted place. Can fend for myself in a packed bar with a bouncer. Macho posturing is annoying at best. OP, it sure reads to me like the desire to protect ‘helpless’ barfly was secondary to your desire to figuratively whip out those rulers and commence to measurin’. I’d have been annoyed too, that your actions turned an annoying situation into a potentially dangerous one. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/240 "2013-06-04T02:29:02Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > That about sum it up? You forgot the part about you being a douche. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845.md?page=13)