# You won't be raped tonight...you're fucking welcome, bitch. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 1, 2013, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845 "2013-06-01T06:05:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/241 "2013-06-04T02:32:48Z")
> [@White SIFL](#): > > You forgot the part about you being a douche. > > 🙂 Forgot it? He’s _soaking_ in it. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/242 "2013-06-04T02:39:45Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > So the takeaways from this thread, for me, are clear. If the person is a friend who needs help, I should let someone else handle it, but if it’s a Doper who hates me and definitely doesn’t want my help, I should help anyway. Also, if a woman definitely wants someone to go away, maybe she can be wooed still, but if she actually goes home with a friend of mine, it’s offensive to say so. And finally, women can handle themselves but need my help, while rapists let you know they’re rapists upfront, being the gentlemen that they are. Oh, and rape doesn’t just happen to anyone, anywhere, and definitely not late at night after some alcohol is involved. > > That about sum it up? Yes, you’ve got it exactly right. And for my part, I’ve learned a lot from this thread as well. For example, if I have a minor dust up with someone, the best thing to do is start a message board thread simultaneously cussing out my would-be protectees, exaggerating the significance of my deeds and lavishing praise upon myself for being such a hero. And, since rape does happen, any time you tell a guy in a bar to stop bothering a woman, you can definitely take credit for having prevented him from raping her. It’s just common sense. ---
**Author:** ![Tracijo67](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@Tracijo67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracijo67)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/243 "2013-06-04T02:54:45Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Yes, you’ve got it exactly right. And for my part, I’ve learned a lot from this thread as well. For example, if I have a minor dust up with someone, the best thing to do is start a message board thread simultaneously cussing out my would-be protectees, exaggerating the significance of my deeds and lavishing praise upon myself for being such a hero. And, since rape does happen, any time you tell a guy in a bar to stop bothering a woman, you can definitely take credit for having prevented him from raping her. It’s just common sense. Not sure OP reads sarcasm laced with a hefty dose of irony. What bothered me about the thread title and the subsequent post was the confabulated five-alarm shrieking about RAPE! Even if I were to buy into the heroics, at most, what he saved her from was the unpleasantness that most generally polite people feel when they have to tell an obnoxious drunk to fuck the fuck off. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/244 "2013-06-04T03:20:19Z")
> [@Tracijo67](#): > > Not sure OP reads sarcasm laced with a hefty dose of irony. > > What bothered me about the thread title and the subsequent post was the confabulated five-alarm shrieking about RAPE! Even if I were to buy into the heroics, at most, what he saved her from was the unpleasantness that most generally polite people feel when they have to tell an obnoxious drunk to fuck the fuck off. Obviously, the only thing your post can be saying is that rape never happens ever. ---
**Author:** ![Tracijo67](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@Tracijo67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracijo67)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/245 "2013-06-04T04:11:30Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Obviously, the only thing your post can be saying is that rape never happens ever. Not to me, no. I do the responsible thing and rent several big lugs to protect me when I’m out and about in public with crowds of people all around. ---
**Author:** ![Quint](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/76d3ee/32.png) [@Quint](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quint)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/246 "2013-06-04T04:24:18Z")
In the early 90s for a brief period I read a bunch of Robert Parker’s “Spenser” detective novels. The OP was like a little slice of one of those novels, with Chessic as Spenser, Marine as Hawk, and Wife as Susan. I may just have to go back and reread some of them, I like that kind of macho crap! Chessic, you could write a series of Novels about your “male part” character and his buddy Marine and the scrapes and troubles they get into, and how Wife doesn’t like it and gets bent out of shape but then realizes that for her man protecting the sheep is what he does and, really, she wouldn’t have it any other way. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/247 "2013-06-04T04:34:11Z")
Chessic Sense, after re-evaluating the situation and getting feedback, do you think there’s anything you should have done differently or do you think you did the best you could? ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/248 "2013-06-04T05:29:28Z")
The code of the Male Part does not allow for backing down from from previously held positions. ---
**Author:** ![WisdomofLife](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/34f0e0/32.png) [@WisdomofLife](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WisdomofLife)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/249 "2013-06-04T10:25:08Z")
If OP’s story is true, OP has serious issues with his wife and they need to have marriage counseling. Hope the best of luck to them in resolving their problems. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/250 "2013-06-04T10:40:13Z")
I don’t know if whipping his wife with his dick would be sufficient marriage counselling. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/251 "2013-06-04T11:46:50Z")
> [@Quint](#): > > In the early 90s for a brief period I read a bunch of Robert Parker’s “Spenser” detective novels. The OP was like a little slice of one of those novels, with Chessic as Spenser, Marine as Hawk, and Wife as Susan. I may just have to go back and reread some of them, I like that kind of macho crap! Chessic, you could write a series of Novels about your “male part” character and his buddy Marine and the scrapes and troubles they get into, and how Wife doesn’t like it and gets bent out of shape but then realizes that for her man protecting the sheep is what he does and, really, she wouldn’t have it any other way. I always thought Spencer for Hire was a male prostitute. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/252 "2013-06-04T14:19:14Z")
> [@White SIFL](#): > > No one, not one poster, in this thread has painted the douche as anything but a douche, a massive one. This conversation isn’t about that. Ah, but what you’re forgetting is that this is the heart of the dispute between the wife/friend and the poster! The wife and friend viewed the guy as not a threat that required any intervention from him. (By douche, I meant threat). > [@](#): > > It’s about how the OP was being irresponsible in that situation in his dealings with said douche. Someone behaving badly in public doesn’t excuse bad behavior in return. > > I don’t blame the OP for his actions (he was drunk) but let’s not make his actions into some noble deed. Also, his whole ‘man part’ bs is silly, and his need for glory debases all of it anyway. But again, whether his actions were a noble deed or not was the crux of the dispute. You can’t dismiss that. He thought he was doing the right thing based on his judgment of the douchebag. She judged the douchebag differently. It’s not about how he handled it, it’s about his judgement vs. hers about the problem in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/253 "2013-06-04T14:24:41Z")
> [@Tracijo67](#): > > I don’t get the danger part. Sure would appreciate the help if I’m in a deserted place. Can fend for myself in a packed bar with a bouncer. Macho posturing is annoying at best. OP, it sure reads to me like the desire to protect ‘helpless’ barfly was secondary to your desire to figuratively whip out those rulers and commence to measurin’. I’d have been annoyed too, that your actions turned an annoying situation into a potentially dangerous one. Are you saying that it’s never possible for a person in a bar to be a threat to another person in a bar? Because violence happens in bars, you know. Maybe the douche wasn’t the threat that the OP thought he was. Maybe his actions in response to the threat he saw weren’t appropriate. Those are possibilities. Sure, maybe this was just about macho posturing. But you can’t declare that there couldn’t have been a threat, or that the bouncer would have handled it. People are attacked in bars all the time, even ones that aren’t “deserted.” And you can’t know for sure whether the threat was real, because you weren’t there. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/254 "2013-06-04T14:29:31Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Yes, you’ve got it exactly right. And for my part, I’ve learned a lot from this thread as well. For example, if I have a minor dust up with someone, the best thing to do is start a message board thread simultaneously cussing out my would-be protectees, exaggerating the significance of my deeds and lavishing praise upon myself for being such a hero. And, since rape does happen, any time you tell a guy in a bar to stop bothering a woman, you can definitely take credit for having prevented him from raping her. It’s just common sense. You have no idea if he is exaggerating. You weren’t there. None of us can judge anything about this incident because we only have one side of the story, and we didn’t witness it for ourselves. It’s possible that Chessic way overestimated the threat of violence from this aggressive drunk guy. It’s possible his wife and friend way underestimated the threat. It’s possible Chessic handled it wrong and made things worse. But we don’t know. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/255 "2013-06-04T14:51:46Z")
> [@Tracijo67](#): > > Not to me, no. I do the responsible thing and rent several big lugs to protect me when I’m out and about in public with crowds of people all around. Is the Rent-a-Lug store anywhere near the Rent-a-Cop shop? ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/256 "2013-06-04T15:43:44Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > You have no idea if he is exaggerating. You weren’t there. Ah yes, but I did read the thread title, where he fully and completely exaggerates the significance of his deeds. I’ve also read the OP and his posts throughout the thread, where he does the same thing. He didn’t just tell an obnoxious guy to back down, he risked bodily injury/death to keep someone who couldn’t be more violent away from his companions. Again, it’s not about what actually went down in the bar. Personally, I think he could have handled it better based on his account, but I don’t think he did anything really wrong. Some loudmouth was being a dick, OP and his friend got into a thing with him, loudmouth’s friend dragged him away. Empty threats were thrown around. Where the OP went wrong is how he has chosen to portray these events to others. That’s what we’re giving him shit for. The fact that no one can know what this guy might have done under other circumstances is exactly why he’s getting shit. > [@](#): > > None of us can judge anything about this incident because we only have one side of the story, and we didn’t witness it for ourselves. Oh, for fuck’s sake. You are the worst. ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/257 "2013-06-04T15:52:47Z")
> [@Quint](#): > > Chessic, you could write a series of Novels about your “male part” character and his buddy Marine and the scrapes and troubles they get into, and how Wife doesn’t like it and gets bent out of shape but then realizes that for her man protecting the sheep is what he does and, really, she wouldn’t have it any other way. “We approached the express lane and I knew immediately there was going to be trouble. With 15 items already on the belt and 3 more in her basket, this little old lady was giving the finger to the entire “15 Items or Less” system, and she knew it. I asked my buddy the Marine to watch my back, I was diving into this head first and it wasn’t going to be pretty…” ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/258 "2013-06-04T15:56:06Z")
That move would actually make you most popular poster here on the Dope. ---
**Author:** ![RobDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@RobDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobDog)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/259 "2013-06-04T16:02:43Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > That move would actually make you most popular poster here on the Dope. Yeah, but only if after dealing with the old lady, he changes the sign from “15 items or less” to “15 items or fewer”. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/260 "2013-06-04T16:07:49Z")
> [@Quint](#): > > In the early 90s for a brief period I read a bunch of Robert Parker’s “Spenser” detective novels. The OP was like a little slice of one of those novels, with Chessic as Spenser, Marine as Hawk, and Wife as Susan. I may just have to go back and reread some of them, I like that kind of macho crap! Chessic, you could write a series of Novels about your “male part” character and his buddy Marine and the scrapes and troubles they get into, and how Wife doesn’t like it and gets bent out of shape but then realizes that for her man protecting the sheep is what he does and, really, she wouldn’t have it any other way. I would totally read those books. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845.md?page=14)