# You won't be raped tonight...you're fucking welcome, bitch. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 1, 2013, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845 "2013-06-01T06:05:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/301 "2013-06-05T16:53:16Z")
> [@fjs1fs](#): > > Bars have been “passe” since the 70s or even the 50s??? WTF???!!! Didn’t you get that Cheers was totally meta level ironic commentary? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/302 "2013-06-05T17:57:52Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > To expand on my previous response - yeah, nobody was at risk of being raped, we can say that with high confidence. His title was stupid. So you can tell if a claim is exaggerated without having been there. Very good. Because I don’t think anyone doubts the events unfolded as told. The exaggeration lies in the claims of heroic manliness, the grave physical danger that he placed himself in to “protect” people and “save their asses” from… rape? Or some other kind of violent attack or something. Nobody knows for sure. > [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Whoa, whoa, whoa…didn’t Giraffe tell us earlier that I was getting shit for my portrayal of events, not what I did? Looks like I’m catching shit for how I acted, not what I posted here. Hey, Giraffe, what gives? Different people are mocking you for different reasons. To know who’s mocking you for what, read their posts. Or not. You could also pretend that Troppus mocking you for peacocking somehow means Giraffe and others weren’t mocking your hilarious retelling, peppered with exaggeration and/or delusions of grandeur. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/303 "2013-06-05T18:07:51Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > So you can tell if a claim is exaggerated without having been there. No. You cannot. You can tell if a claim is possible or not. If not, then it’s not. If it is, then you can’t tell to what degree it is possible, or if it’s exaggerated. As an analogy - I can say with certainty, without seeing you, that you’re alive. It’s not possible that you’re dead. But if you tell me you’re near death, I can’t tell if you are exaggerating or not. So some things you can know pretty well based on the evidence you have, and some you can’t. In this case, we have enough evidence - the setting in the bar, who was there, etc. We can be pretty sure that Chessie’s account of where he was and who was there was accurate. It wasn’t a judgment call to say he was in a bar. Therefore, we can reasonably assume that, because they were in a bar with lots of people, it’s really really unlikely that anyone was in danger of being raped right there in the bar (though he COULD have meant that she was threatened with rape if he and the rest of his friends left, leaving her alone with the creep, I don’t know). However, whether the douche was a threat was a judgement call on his part, so we can’t be so sure because we weren’t there to use our own judgement and we don’t know him well enough to trust his judgement. See the difference? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/304 "2013-06-05T18:15:48Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Different people are mocking you for different reasons. To know who’s mocking you for what, read their posts. Or not. You could also pretend that Troppus mocking you for peacocking somehow means Giraffe and others weren’t mocking your hilarious retelling, peppered with exaggeration and/or delusions of grandeur. Mock Yeah Ing Yeah Bird Yeah Yeah Yeah Mockingbird now. . . ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/305 "2013-06-05T18:18:01Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > [A bunch of stupid stuff snipped here] But I… Never mind. You are stupid. Here, [have a cookie](http://www.pyromosh.org/images/bbs/have_a_cookie.gif). ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/306 "2013-06-05T18:36:25Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > But I… > > Never mind. You are stupid. Here, [have a cookie](http://www.pyromosh.org/images/bbs/have_a_cookie.gif). You can’t _know_ that he is actually stupid, he might just be pretending to be stupid for his own reasons. Unless you get him in person in a room with you and give him an IQ test after injecting him with sodium pentathol, there’s simply no way to be sure. It’s the same reason you almost never see criminal convictions: the odds of finding 12 jurors who all personally witnessed the crime are astronomically low. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/307 "2013-06-05T18:42:57Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Never mind. You are stupid. I have a vague memory of a past thread in which **lance** argued some really dumb, nitpicky, wishy-washy pseudo-devil’s-advocate position for a really stupidly long time for no apparent reason. I don’t remember now what it was about, but it was an early and unambiguous sign that attempting to debate with him is a pointless exercise to be avoided at all costs. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/308 "2013-06-05T19:14:21Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > I have a vague memory of a past thread in which **lance** argued some really dumb, nitpicky, wishy-washy pseudo-devil’s-advocate position for a really stupidly long time for no apparent reason. I don’t remember now what it was about, but it was an early and unambiguous sign that attempting to debate with him is a pointless exercise to be avoided at all costs. Prove it! ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/309 "2013-06-05T19:47:27Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > I have a vague memory of a past thread in which **lance** argued some really dumb, nitpicky, wishy-washy pseudo-devil’s-advocate position for a really stupidly long time for no apparent reason. I don’t remember now what it was about, but it was an early and unambiguous sign that attempting to debate with him is a pointless exercise to be avoided at all costs. [Hush Up, Lance Armstrong](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=664358) (warning: strong language) ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/310 "2013-06-05T19:58:49Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > … I think you are taking their comments way too personally and seriously. You tried to do a nice thing for them, and no good deed goes unpunished, but don’t get bitter about it forever, please. That being said, I don’t think you were being sexist. I think you were being a good friend. Pretty much this. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/311 "2013-06-05T20:56:53Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > I think you’re proving the point that people can be assholes, even when they (presumably) aren’t drunk in bars. Unpossible. You were being a complete asshole all those times you cheated and blood-doped and everyone knows you were drunk as fuck. Asshole. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/312 "2013-06-05T21:13:22Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > [Hush Up, Lance Armstrong](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=664358) (warning: strong language) Ah, yes. “I’m fine with gay marriage, but everybody please stop picking on the poor bigots!” and its companion piece, “I shall argue myself blue-faced that throwing peanuts at black people isn’t always racist, and then concede that it probably was after all.” Now it’s all coming back like a bad clam platter. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/313 "2013-06-05T21:27:16Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > No. You cannot. You can tell if a claim is possible or not. If not, then it’s not. If it is, then you can’t tell to what degree it is possible, or if it’s exaggerated. > > As an analogy - I can say with certainty, without seeing you, that you’re alive. It’s not possible that you’re dead. But if you tell me you’re near death, I can’t tell if you are exaggerating or not. > > So some things you can know pretty well based on the evidence you have, and some you can’t. > > In this case, we have enough evidence - the setting in the bar, who was there, etc. We can be pretty sure that Chessie’s account of where he was and who was there was accurate. It wasn’t a judgment call to say he was in a bar. Therefore, we can reasonably assume that, because they were in a bar with lots of people, it’s really really unlikely that anyone was in danger of being raped right there in the bar (though he COULD have meant that she was threatened with rape if he and the rest of his friends left, leaving her alone with the creep, I don’t know). > > However, whether the douche was a threat was a judgement call on his part, so we can’t be so sure because we weren’t there to use our own judgement and we don’t know him well enough to trust his judgement. > > See the difference? Yknow what’s funny? You clearly believe your points are tooooootally awesome and super advanced, _blowing_ people’s minds. Way deep and SO much more insightful than the petty arguments others have put forth. In reality, you sound like a pretentious or stoned (or both!) college student who has just discovered [an _extremely basic_ overview of epistemology and metaphysics](http://m.wisegeek.com/what-is-the-relationship-between-epistemology-and-metaphysics.htm) in their Intro to Philosophy course. Your fatuous argument applies to _literally every messageboard thread in existence_. It’s taken as a given by anyone posting so you’re arguing against a point no one is making. It’s obvious that anyone’s opinion is prefaced with an unwritten “obviously I am not omniscient and I have only the information provided by the OP along with my own related/similar knowledge and experiences…” ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/314 "2013-06-05T22:52:01Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > Unpossible. You were being a complete asshole all those times you cheated and blood-doped and everyone knows you were drunk as fuck. Asshole. That was my evil twin. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/315 "2013-06-05T22:53:14Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > Yknow what’s funny? You clearly believe your points are tooooootally awesome and super advanced, _blowing_ people’s minds. Way deep and SO much more insightful than the petty arguments others have put forth. My view of myself, or your view of me, is completely irrelevant to whether my points are right or wrong. > [@](#): > > In reality, you sound like a pretentious or stoned (or both!) college student who has just discovered [an _extremely basic_ overview of epistemology and metaphysics](http://m.wisegeek.com/what-is-the-relationship-between-epistemology-and-metaphysics.htm) in their Intro to Philosophy course. > > Your fatuous argument applies to _literally every messageboard thread in existence_. It’s taken as a given by anyone posting so you’re arguing against a point no one is making. It’s obvious that anyone’s opinion is prefaced with an unwritten “obviously I am not omniscient and I have only the information provided by the OP along with my own related/similar knowledge and experiences…” Okay. Now, can we get back on topic? ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/316 "2013-06-05T22:54:15Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > [Hush Up, Lance Armstrong](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=664358) (warning: strong language) I’m not here to play stupid games like that. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/317 "2013-06-05T22:55:18Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > I have a vague memory of a past thread in which **lance** argued some really dumb, nitpicky, wishy-washy pseudo-devil’s-advocate position for a really stupidly long time for no apparent reason. I don’t remember now what it was about, but it was an early and unambiguous sign that attempting to debate with him is a pointless exercise to be avoided at all costs. Then avoid it. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/318 "2013-06-05T22:56:22Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > But I… > > Never mind. You are stupid. Here, [have a cookie](http://www.pyromosh.org/images/bbs/have_a_cookie.gif). I’m not here for childish games or insults. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/319 "2013-06-05T23:13:12Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > My view of myself, or your view of me, is completely irrelevant to whether my points are right or wrong. I think the fact that you are much, much dumber than you yourself realize that you are is probably a very relevant factor in explaining why it is that you so often post stuff that is lame and wrong. PS. You are _ **extremely** _ dumb. ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/320 "2013-06-05T23:23:57Z")
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