# You won't be raped tonight...you're fucking welcome, bitch. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 1, 2013, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845 "2013-06-01T06:05:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 17
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/321 "2013-06-05T23:29:11Z")
It’s pretty sad how nasty some of you are on here. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/322 "2013-06-05T23:40:30Z")
> [@colander](#): > > I think the fact that you are much, much dumber than you yourself realize that you are is probably a very relevant factor in explaining why it is that you so often post stuff that is lame and wrong. > > PS. You are _ **extremely** _ dumb. Okay, I’m dumb. Got something about the topic to say, or are we still on the playground? Let me know. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/323 "2013-06-05T23:41:40Z")
> [@miss\_elizabeth](#): > > No, you’re here to annoy. Right. I’m the one annoying, while you and the rest are high-minded adults. Enough already. If I annoy you, ignore me. I don’t care if having an opinion that you don’t like annoys you. If that’s it, you shouldn’t be here. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/324 "2013-06-05T23:43:13Z")
Wow, this thread sure got ironic fast, didn’t it? Wouldn’t want to be aggressive and escalate things and throw insults around, would we? That’s how bar fights start, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/325 "2013-06-06T00:00:39Z")
If we were in a bar, yeah. But we’re not, so there is no irony. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/326 "2013-06-06T00:09:15Z")
Well, it is kind of stupid in its own way. At least that much is ironic. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/327 "2013-06-06T00:35:13Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > Okay, I’m dumb. I agree! See, now we’re getting somewhere! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/328 "2013-06-06T00:45:07Z")
> [@colander](#): > > > [@lance strongarm](#): > > > > Okay, I’m dumb. > > I agree! See, now we’re getting somewhere! 🙂 Okay, that was pretty funny. 😃 As for the thread, I stand by what **drewtwo99** said. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/329 "2013-06-06T00:46:00Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > It’s pretty sad how nasty some of you are on here. Isn’t it, though? It didn’t used to be this way. It used to be pleasant. Now it’s just a competition to see who can make the most snarky comment to the OP. I’m not even talking about this thread or me. It’s in IMHO, in GD especially, and even in MPSIMS. They’re just nasty, crusty old people. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/330 "2013-06-06T00:48:33Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > If posturing, peacocking, and going full drama-king before demanding extra credit for overreaching is the right thing, yep, that’s what he did. Funny, nowhere in the OP was posturing, peacocking and going full drama-king mentioned. You must have read a different post. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/331 "2013-06-06T01:01:22Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > Funny, nowhere in the OP was posturing, peacocking and going full drama-king mentioned. You must have read a different post. “You won’t be raped tonight… you’re fucking welcome, bitch.” -Chessic Sense If you don’t think that’s a bit much, I guess I know to cross you off my garden party list. Too bad. I guess now I’ll have to spring for a professional clown. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/332 "2013-06-06T01:52:45Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > It’s pretty sad how nasty some of you are on here. I’m openly sobbing over here, snot coming out of my nose and everything. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/333 "2013-06-06T02:05:16Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > But I… > > Never mind. You are stupid. Here, [have a cookie](http://www.pyromosh.org/images/bbs/have_a_cookie.gif). I want a cookie for reading this entire mess of a thread! The best thing I take from this is that our diminutive hero is still doing the same formula with his threads: Post about some crazy thing to look smart/tough/awesome –\>usually throw his wife in there in some stupid way to make her look bad —\> everybody reminding him how dumb he is —\> he returns with more info —\> people still say he’s stupid –\> he comes back to tell us his wife read it all and she agrees with him and we’re all stupid and they just laugh and laugh at us. Somehow I find his never changing schtick to be oddly comforting. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/334 "2013-06-06T02:12:07Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > I want a cookie for reading this entire mess of a thread! > > The best thing I take from this is that our diminutive hero is still doing the same formula with his threads: > > Post about some crazy thing to look smart/tough/awesome –\>usually throw his wife in there in some stupid way to make her look bad —\> everybody reminding him how dumb he is —\> he returns with more info —\> people still say he’s stupid –\> he comes back to tell us his wife read it all and she agrees with him and we’re all stupid and they just laugh and laugh at us. > > Somehow I find his never changing schtick to be oddly comforting. What I want to know is if his wife ever ended up letting him [pay her an allowance to quit her job and do household chores.](http://xn--boards-oi0c.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15566276&postcount=1) ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/335 "2013-06-06T02:19:26Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > I’m openly sobbing over here, snot coming out of my nose and everything. Good one. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/336 "2013-06-06T02:53:55Z")
> [@colander](#): > > What I want to know is if his wife ever ended up letting him [pay her an allowance to quit her job and do household chores.](http://xn--boards-oi0c.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15566276&postcount=1) Don’t you worry one bit. He asked her about the post he made about the topic and told them what dopers said and (as usual) they [laughed and laughed](http://xn--boards-vta81gt77r.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15568568&postcount=38) so they worked it out. ETA: on preview the coding wasn’t working and now I’ve gotten some nonsense message that it’s not working because the server was upgraded. I’d try to fix it but I’m too shocked to read that the server was upgraded to continue. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/337 "2013-06-06T03:36:35Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > Funny, nowhere in the OP was posturing, peacocking and going full drama-king mentioned. You must have read a different post. I’m new-ish around here but I’m getting a feel for it. Still, I can’t decide if this is a whoosh. ---
**Author:** ![splatterpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3be4f8/32.png) [@splatterpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/splatterpunk)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/338 "2013-06-06T04:03:38Z")
> [@White SIFL](#): > > I’m new-ish around here but I’m getting a feel for it. Still, I can’t decide if this is a whoosh. It is not. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/339 "2013-06-06T04:23:50Z")
> [@White SIFL](#): > > I’m new-ish around here but I’m getting a feel for it. Still, I can’t decide if this is a whoosh. Well, if it helps you decide, we are talking about a man who thought it would be a good idea to share [this action-style photo portrait of himself and his family](http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.nouilles.info/illustrations/sdmb_portraits/6642.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.nouilles.info/sdpix/6642.html&h=690&w=536&sz=418&tbnid=Yibkc_cWSOg4qM:&tbnh=90&tbnw=70&zoom=1&usg=__UxuiwEShxYSTqNy9cHyIgua0T78=&docid=tWeoViAceRhFNM&sa=X&ei=sQ2wUebiI-T7iwL_j4GgAQ&ved=0CEQQ9QEwBQ&dur=2534) with the entire internet. Probably not something Ambrose Bierce would have done. Also, see [this,](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=16161938&postcount=1) which as far as I can tell was not meant sarcastically. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/340 "2013-06-06T04:36:18Z")
That moment when David Lee Roth tells the photographer “Naw, man, that’s too much.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845.md?page=16) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845.md?page=18)