# You won't be raped tonight...you're fucking welcome, bitch. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 1, 2013, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845 "2013-06-01T06:05:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 19
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/361 "2013-06-06T16:35:02Z")
Don’t mind the Turnip, panaccione. Take comfort that no matter what anyone tells you, you are not the board’s \*biggest \*dipshit. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/362 "2013-06-06T16:56:07Z")
This message board is not a bar?!? {Monocle falls off} ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/363 "2013-06-06T17:02:05Z")
Thanks Muffin. I appreciate that. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/364 "2013-06-06T17:03:34Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > Kind of like…a bar? I don’t know, are there bars that were established for the purpose of criticizing and insulting other patrons? I’ve never heard of one, but I suppose there could be. But if that’s the case then it probably wasn’t the best choice for a casual night out with the wife and friends, as the creep’s Travis Bickle impersonation (“You lookin’ at me?”) actually would have been perfectly appropriate in such a setting. It would be pretty stupid to go to the criticism and insults bar, start ranting about something, and then get all offended because the other patrons responded to this rant with criticism and insults instead of saying “Oh, you poor dear!” ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/365 "2013-06-06T17:16:03Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > I don’t know, are there bars that were established for the purpose of criticizing and insulting other patrons? I’ve never heard of one, but I suppose there could be. Would you go to such a bar? If not, why not? You’re here for the same reason, after all. > [@](#): > > It would be pretty stupid to go to the criticism and insults bar, start ranting about something, and then get all offended because the other patrons responded to this rant with criticism and insults instead of saying “Oh, you poor dear!” Yes, I did forget that this is a pit thread. I shouldn’t have expected better. Still, the problem is that people here are acting like assholes while criticizing someone for acting like an asshole. It’s still ironic. Coming here and being a dick while telling someone they are being a dick just doesn’t work. Being in a place where you can get away with it doesn’t change that. ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/366 "2013-06-06T17:23:08Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > Says you. > > I go to bars to blow off steam about, and to, arrogant people saying stupid shit. What are you going to do about it? Get up and go to another bar where people aren’t assholes. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/367 "2013-06-06T17:23:55Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Don’t mind the Turnip, panaccione. Take comfort that no matter what anyone tells you, you are not the board’s \*biggest \*dipshit. Charmingly self-deprecating as always, **Muffy** , but we both know you aren’t _that_ bad. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/368 "2013-06-06T17:35:40Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Isn’t it, though? It didn’t used to be this way. It used to be pleasant. Now it’s just a competition to see who can make the most snarky comment to the OP. I’m not even talking about this thread or me. It’s in IMHO, in GD especially, and even in MPSIMS. They’re just nasty, crusty old people. I’ve been around here for a little while now, and I can comfortably attest to the fact that this is horseshit. The board is as nice, or nicer (given enforced politeness due to new rules) than it ever was. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/369 "2013-06-06T17:38:02Z")
> [@saje](#): > > Get up and go to another bar where people aren’t assholes. Exactly. ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/370 "2013-06-06T17:44:35Z")
Exactly what? The OP didn’t do that, obviously. Are you saying that’s what he should have done? Or what you should be doing here and now? ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/371 "2013-06-06T18:11:59Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > Coming here and being a dick while telling someone they are being a dick just doesn’t work. If it doesn’t work then why do you keep doing it? ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/372 "2013-06-06T18:19:04Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > Kind of like…a bar? I’m pretty sure lance imagined dramatic reveal music playing (dunh DUNH DUNHHHHH!!!) when he posted this, as he cleverly turned the tables on everyone with this brilliant analogy. Too bad the analogy is stupid and so is lance. Very sad. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/373 "2013-06-06T19:30:50Z")
> [@saje](#): > > Exactly what? > > The OP didn’t do that, obviously. Are you saying that’s what he should have done? Or what you should be doing here and now? Or what you should be doing if you don’t like my posts. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/374 "2013-06-06T19:33:39Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > I’m pretty sure lance imagined dramatic reveal music playing (dunh DUNH DUNHHHHH!!!) when he posted this, as he cleverly turned the tables on everyone with this brilliant analogy. > > Too bad the analogy is stupid and so is lance. Very sad. Oh, wow, that completely ruins it. You said it’s stupid, so it’s stupid. I got myself into this by mistakenly coming to a pit thread, where being a childlike asshole is acceptable. I take responsibility for that, and now I’m going to leave the childlike assholes to themselves and leave you all to throw your sticks at each other instead. Bye. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/375 "2013-06-06T19:53:43Z")
Now you’ve gone and hurt his feelings. Proud of yourself, **Giraffe**? ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/376 "2013-06-06T19:54:18Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Now you’ve gone and hurt his feelings. Proud of yourself, **Giraffe**? A little, yeah. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/377 "2013-06-06T20:02:13Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > It’s pretty sad how nasty some of you are on here. Says you, dicknose. > [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > They’re just nasty, crusty old people. Well, they are old. And sometimes they forget to wipe so they get crusty and nasty. > [@colander](#): > > “You won’t be raped tonight… you’re fucking welcome, bitch.” > -Chessic Sense > > If you don’t think that’s a bit much, I guess I know to cross you off my garden party list. Too bad. I guess now I’ll have to spring for a professional clown. Garden parties are passe, like bars. > [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > Okay, so from what I’m learning on this thread, it’s perfectly okay to be an obnoxious dick. You shouldn’t do it in a bar, because it could lead to violence, but otherwise, being an obnoxious dick is just fine. There’s nothing intrinsically wrong with it. In fact, we should find a new phrase to replace the judgmental “obnoxious” and “dick.” “Total Fuckwad” is what you’re looking for. > **[Green Blackboards (And Other Anomalies) - Penny Arcade](https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/03/19/green-blackboards-and-other-anomalies)** > > Videogaming-related online strip by Mike Krahulik and Jerry Holkins. Includes news and commentary. ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/378 "2013-06-06T20:09:09Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > Or what you should be doing if you don’t like my posts. Since this is The Pit and not a bar, I’m enjoying the snark. Both the give and the take. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/379 "2013-06-06T20:22:57Z")
> [@lance\_strongarm](#): > > I got myself into this by mistakenly coming to a pit thread, where being a childlike asshole is acceptable. I take responsibility for that, and now I’m going to leave the childlike assholes to themselves and leave you all to throw your sticks at each other instead. Bye. See, we don’t really know you’re taking responsibility for it because we’re not there with you while you type. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/380 "2013-06-06T20:36:30Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > Says you, dicknose. Not just me. > [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Isn’t it, though? It didn’t used to be this way. It used to be pleasant. Now it’s just a competition to see who can make the most snarky comment to the OP. I’m not even talking about this thread or me. It’s in IMHO, in GD especially, and even in MPSIMS. They’re just nasty, crusty old people. > [@Measure\_for\_Measure](#): > > (20-20 hindsight stuff snipped) I endorse these sentiments. But _dicknose_ really? Come on, man. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845.md?page=18) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845.md?page=20)