# You won't be raped tonight...you're fucking welcome, bitch. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 1, 2013, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845 "2013-06-01T06:05:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/81 "2013-06-01T19:01:36Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > Sounds like someone is a bit sensitive about the amount of time they do spend in bars. Sensitive? I unabashedly love bars and am on my way to one right now. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/82 "2013-06-01T19:04:35Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > The novel, or the webcomic? _sigh_. You kids these days. It was a self-designation of one of history’s most fascinating men, who has been of considerable interest to me (on both amateur and professional planes) for many years. Sir Richard Francis Burton. I could put that in my profile, I guess, if anyone ever looks at those things. ---
**Author:** ![Tee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Tee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tee)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/83 "2013-06-01T19:05:58Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > Not an Amateur Barbarian, if you know the source of the term. My first thought was GEICO Caveman and I’m leaving before you go and ruin that whole illusion. Dammit, too late. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/84 "2013-06-01T19:07:52Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > I love making new acquaintances but have this -\>\<- much tolerance for social chit-chat. Get right out of town. This is a very shocking development. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/85 "2013-06-01T19:13:01Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > Not an Amateur Barbarian, if you know the source of the term. Wait, you think Burton didn’t socialize in dark, noisy rooms while drinking? Or, hell, anytime, anywhere, with anyone. Burton was one of the all-time great socializers. How do you think he got the material for so many books? ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/86 "2013-06-01T19:19:14Z")
Not to mention inspiration for Beetlejuice. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/87 "2013-06-01T19:22:43Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Sensitive? I unabashedly love bars and am on my way to one right now. Me too! MeanOldLady, we gotta hang sometime! You’d love my bar! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/88 "2013-06-01T20:38:38Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > Wait, you think Burton didn’t socialize in dark, noisy rooms while drinking? Or, hell, anytime, anywhere, with anyone. Burton was one of the all-time great socializers. How do you think he got the material for so many books? You need to read one of the updated biographies, and skip Rice’s. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/89 "2013-06-01T20:52:51Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > You need to read one of the updated biographies, and skip Rice’s. I’ve read I. Burton, Brodie, and Farwell. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/90 "2013-06-01T21:20:25Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > I’ve read I. Burton, Brodie, and Farwell. All outdated, and Brodie, for all her contributions, just kind of ends up in silly land with her retro-Freudian take. I’ll make it short: Burton was not a socializer; he was a social-abuser. It’s hard to find a case where he was accepted by a social group and remained part of it very long; it’s easy to find cases where he went out of his way to piss people off rather than bow to anything like social graces. He was a self-isolate, an outside observer - a barbarian at civilized tables, but he softened his awareness of it by claiming he was an amateur one. That he was the intellectual superior man of his day was never softened by any humility or ability to ‘play nice.’ He paid the price for it, over and over, until the end. I think you must be thinking of Farwell’s description of him drinking with his Indian Army comrades while forgetting how that turned out. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/91 "2013-06-01T21:25:32Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > I’m not knocking it for those who like it… Well, that right there is a lie, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/92 "2013-06-01T21:37:17Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Well, that right there is a lie, isn’t it? No, I’ve asked the question from a skeptical viewpoint. I can’t believe what a sore spot it seems to be to wonder if barhopping is an activity from another era. I think the reaction speaks volumes, but I sincerely and wholeheartedly withdraw any chronological value judgment that offended anyone. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/93 "2013-06-01T22:05:12Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > No, I’ve asked the question from a skeptical viewpoint. I can’t believe what a sore spot it seems to be to wonder if barhopping is an activity from another era. I think the reaction speaks volumes, but I sincerely and wholeheartedly withdraw any chronological value judgment that offended anyone. Given that you couldn’t restrain yourself from slipping another dig in with your “apology,” I’m going to go ahead and stick with the sentiment in my previous post. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/94 "2013-06-01T22:08:31Z")
Because of course, anyone who enjoys going to a bar is a total alcoholic, doncha know? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2013, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/95 "2013-06-01T22:33:24Z")
Also, going to a bar really isn’t the same thing as barhopping. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2013, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/96 "2013-06-02T00:33:05Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > \ I can’t believe what a sore spot it seems to be to wonder if barhopping is an activity from another era. I think the reaction speaks volumes, but I sincerely and wholeheartedly withdraw any chronological value judgment that offended anyone. You keep bringing up ‘sensitivity’ and ‘sore spots’; but truly, I peeped your sore spot way back in post 65… > [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > 'Kay, 'kay, bars are the sacred watering holes of the svelte and savvy. I just never had much use for them, myself. I think I’ve “sat in a bar” for about two hours in my lifetime. > > But then,\*\* I don’t have the deep conditioning that having a finger of bourbon all by myselfies makes me some kind of degenerate. I wonder how much connection there is between the triangle of socializing-drinking-“drinking alone is baaaaad\*\*.” Bolding, mine. There, you bizarrely shoe horned in the idea that drinking alone is bad. That is not the normal, healthy takeaway from a discussion about how folks like to drink in bars with friends. You introduced that bit of straw into the discussion. I figure you are the one with the sore spots. Your boy Sir Richard Francis Burton may indeed be the type who was ‘a barbarian at a civilized man’s table’ but he sat at the table nevertheless. And guess what? Lots of people who go to bars to drink have their own ideas about why they are there, how they are interacting, etc. Many people consider themselves observers and social scientists. Many people like to be around other people and knock back a few, all the while, collecting character traits and mannerisms for that novel they are writing or planning to write. In other words, it is possible that plenty of the people who are in bars, drinking up, socializing with friends…are indeed Amateur Barbarians! They have cromulent reasons for socializing and chit chatting over drinks in bars, so you shouldn’t be so surprised after all. Now, you are over there having two fingers of bourbon, I’m over here having a double shot of tequila, we are chit chatting and socializing on this message board. You know what that means? You are no longer drinking alone, AB. [No more.](http://i.imgur.com/LkKGInA.gif?1) ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2013, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/97 "2013-06-02T01:00:37Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Now, you are over there having two fingers of bourbon, I’m over here having a double shot of tequila, we are chit chatting and socializing on this message board. You know what that means? Somebody is gonna get laid? Well, technically speaking two people. Sorta. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2013, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/98 "2013-06-02T01:18:19Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Hey, you wanna get a drink sometime?. You probably live too far away. Otherwise, I would. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2013, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/99 "2013-06-02T02:13:12Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > Hey, you sound like a sexist douche to me, and I’m a _guy_. > > And yes, I feel perfectly justified in saying the vast, vast majority of rapes do not occur in a bar, in the open, with the victim’s friends sitting right goddamned next to them and a bouncer and bartender in attendance. But maybe I’m as crazy as a woman! Oh? And I suppose _you_ like getting hit on verbally and then groped after repeatedly telling the scumbag no? Hell, I don’t even like an unexpected groping from my _husband_. What exactly would you call some jackass grabbing a handful of asscheeks and possibly tits, I personally call it sexual assault. Just because penis didn’t get shoved in anywhere does not make it _not_ sexual abuse. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2013, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/100 "2013-06-02T03:44:54Z")
Damn, y’all, argue with **Amateur Barbarian** ’s nonsense in another thread! The actual OP has enough nonsense to carry the thread. Say, **Chessic Sense** , I see you have (deliberately) ignored the following exchange. In all sincerity, would you mind reading these two replies and honestly give them a ponder? They _really_ have a damn good observation: > [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > I promise you, **even sven** , if we ever end up in the same bar in DC, perhaps at a Dopefest or something, I will do absolutely nothing to help you in any way. With anything. No matter what. You have my honest-to-God word on that. > [@even\_sven](#): > > Well, that’s certainly a classy way to manage a difference of opinion. > [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > And also an awesome way to illustrate it’s not about his manly pride. Oh no, he’s just a chivalrous white knight, saving women from peril, who does what he must with no desire to be praised. What a tool. And additionally, > [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > It’s not about maleness, it’s about _putting me down_ for being male. It’s about making jokes about testosterone. It’s about mocking my ‘male ego’. It’s about comparing us to animals. _That’s_ the problem here. How can you say this with a straight face when _you_ were the one who described your actions in the bar as “playing the male part”? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845.md?page=6)