# You won't be raped tonight...you're fucking welcome, bitch. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 1, 2013, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845 "2013-06-01T06:05:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![AlienVessels](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@AlienVessels](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlienVessels)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2013, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/141 "2013-06-02T18:51:54Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > I wasn’t talking about the generalized idea of berating someone even when they asked for help but the specific story **Chef Troy** was relating. Why was it ironic? Because you imply that you cannot imagine any other response from Danae than the one described in the scenario when it is a trivial task. People, even friends, can be weird sometimes. You can always second guess the behavior of ANY actor in a potentially dangerous situation. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2013, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/142 "2013-06-02T19:00:31Z")
> [@AlienVessels](#): > > Because you imply that you cannot imagine any other response from Danae than the one described in the scenario when it is a trivial task. People, even friends, can be weird sometimes. > > You can always second guess the behavior of ANY actor in a potentially dangerous situation. That wasn’t meant to be implied at all. I was comparing the point he was making (about the women in the OP complaining for being helped) with Danae complaining. The difference many folks are making is that perhaps they complained because they weren’t being asked. In Chef’s scenario she did ask, so the argument for why she’d complain wasn’t there. ---
**Author:** ![Tee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Tee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tee)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2013, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/143 "2013-06-02T19:22:50Z")
> [@Zoe](#): > > You are the one who said it was about being a male. No one put you down for being a male. Your assumptions about roles seem to me to put women down. > > Your “male ego” needs a little mocking when you haven’t grasped _yet_ that females are empowered too. > > Mind your own business unless you are asked to intervene. Problem is, if a tanked-up jerk appears and makes unwelcome advances on someone, to any degree, you’ve assigned that someone complete responsibility for handling it. I dislike that premise, and recommending that people sit on their asses watching other people trying not to be bothered, until expressly invited to do something, is beyond my comprehension and probably my own ability. I usually have pointy shoes and a 37-lb. purse on hand if needed and would put both to good use for anyone if the need arose, but truth be told, there are probably more useful specimens of humanity to be found in and around the bar for these occasions. I don’t feel diminished by this. > [@even sven](#): > > Again, if there is a risk of someone getting raped, the right thing to do is get the hell out of there. You get in a car or a cab and get to a safe place, away from the “violent and dangerous” person. If need be, you find a bouncer or police officer to keep an eye out while you get to someplace secure. This is not foolproof. Staying with a group is good. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2013, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/144 "2013-06-02T19:52:43Z")
> [@Martin\_Hyde](#): > > I only really have a problem with OP’s rhetoric, not his actions. I’ll forgive his original post on that mark just because he was drunk, but he’s mostly reinforced it with later posts. Talking about the “male part” makes you sound lame … > But yeah, drop all the weird stuff about “being a man” and rape and all you did was hang around to make sure nothing went south, nothing wrong with that. I think this is much like the point I was trying to make. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2013, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/145 "2013-06-02T20:05:50Z")
> [@Tee](#): > > Problem is, if a tanked-up jerk appears and makes unwelcome advances on someone, to any degree, you’ve assigned that someone complete responsibility for handling it. I dislike that premise, and recommending that people sit on their asses watching other people trying not to be bothered, until expressly invited to do something, is beyond my comprehension and probably my own ability. I usually have pointy shoes and a 37-lb. purse on hand if needed and would put both to good use for anyone if the need arose, but truth be told, there are probably more useful specimens of humanity to be found in and around the bar for these occasions. I don’t feel diminished by this. > . The issue is, I think, that sometimes individuals become overly invested in playing the “male part” and can step in and potentially escalate a situation in the name of being protective. They may then expect to be “rewarded” (as the OP speculates his friend was) and certainly expect to be thanked/praised. There may well be times when someone making it clear that they are not afraid to escalate a situation does, in fact, defuse things. However, I think it has to be acknowledged that there are other situations where the escalation seems gratuitous and unnecessarily risky, and those situations–when you are expected to feel grateful and rescued, and instead you feel as if your actual safety was neglected in favor of someone else’s indulgent self-aggrandizing–are very frustrating. You simply can’t win. ---
**Author:** ![AlienVessels](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@AlienVessels](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlienVessels)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2013, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/146 "2013-06-02T20:17:22Z")
> [@MandaJo](#): > > The issue is, I think, that sometimes individuals become overly invested in playing the “male part” and can step in and potentially escalate a situation in the name of being protective. They may then expect to be “rewarded” (as the OP speculates his friend was) and certainly expect to be thanked/praised. There may well be times when someone making it clear that they are not afraid to escalate a situation does, in fact, defuse things. However, I think it has to be acknowledged that there are other situations where the escalation seems gratuitous and unnecessarily risky, and those situations–when you are expected to feel grateful and rescued, and instead you feel as if your actual safety was neglected in favor of someone else’s indulgent self-aggrandizing–are very frustrating. You simply can’t win. So where do you draw the line? In current society the default seems to be “don’t get involved” but oh the gnashing of teeth about an uncaring society. Yes, there’s risk, but most of the time a threat display met with a threat display works. There are a lot more wolves than sheepdogs, but by all means try to train the sheep to be the sheepdogs. (And no, you people that will insist on drawing the wrong conclusion, I don’t mean that.) There’s a huge difference between not getting thanked and getting criticized. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2013, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/147 "2013-06-02T20:26:15Z")
> [@AlienVessels](#): > > Yes, there’s risk, but most of the time a threat display met with a threat display works.. Simply not true. Especially, in this day and age and even in this exact scenario. The counter threat was not effective and actually somewhat dangerous. More often than not you have the option to walk away. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2013, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/148 "2013-06-02T21:06:40Z")
> [@White SIFL](#): > > How you’ve managed not to get beaten to a pulp all these years is a mystery to me. Tough guy? > > Or maybe… Internet tough guy? Practice. Soldiers don’t have tea parties, y’know. > [@Martin\_Hyde](#): > > I only really have a problem with OP’s rhetoric, not his actions. I’ll forgive his original post on that mark just because he was drunk, but he’s mostly reinforced it with later posts. Talking about the “male part” makes you sound lame, and it is seriously unlikely anyone was in danger of getting raped at that point in the evening. > > That being said, the only _actions_ OP took, were to wait by the bar where he had previously been waiting. He didn’t _do_ anything, before the aggressor confronted him verbally–so OP really didn’t start anything. As an extremely grizzled veteran of bars, I can tell you that in 999/1000 times a person confronting someone with the phrase “What are you looking at?” Is an asshole and is the one who is starting the fight. The guy being accosted is almost never the one starting anything. > > Once someone like that confronts you it’s entirely valid to try to brush him back, because sometimes just backing off just tells him he can push you even more to try and show off for whoever he’s showing off for–in the real world you don’t always have the option to just walk away and I’ve seen this play out dozens of times. > > As for people who said he should have asked the woman if she needed help, that’s actually more intrusive than what he did. For one, the aggressor was right next to her talking to her, if he had interceded in their conversation to ask her anything that would have immediately started the shouting match and possibly lead to an altercation. Additionally, it’s also denying the woman the ability to talk through it on her own–something he still allowed for by simply remaining at his bar stool where he had been all night. > > But yeah, drop all the weird stuff about “being a man” and rape and all you did was hang around to make sure nothing went south, nothing wrong with that. Thank you! I feel like you’re the only one in this thread that actually read and understood the chronology of events that occurred. Quiz time, folks! Did the bartender throw the guy out? _No!_ Did the bouncer throw the guy out? _No!_ Did Marine throw the guy out? _No!_ Did I throw the guy out? _No!_ Was I invited to intervene? _Yes!_ Did the women have a problem with me intervening? _No!_ Did they appreciate my intervention? _Yes!_ Did they criticize me later for intervening? _No!_ Did I start the confrontation? _No!_ Did I escalate the confrontation? _No!_ Were they all walked to their cars later? _Yes!_ It’s not that hard of a story to follow along with. I don’t understand why we’re over 100 posts in and people are still saying ridiculous things like “Maybe she didn’t want your help.” We covered this ages ago. Just pay attention! > [@Lamia](#): > > You mean the posts where he looks forward to the fateful day when women who have failed to show him proper respect will be assaulted? You can’t possibly still think I meant that literally, even at the time of writing. It’s clearly facetious even in the original post. > [@](#): > > a Doper who dared to disagree with him _in the Pit_. No, it wasn’t just “a Doper,” it was specifically **even sven** , the poster whose contribution I value the least. That goes for just about any thread on any topic. > [@](#): > > Not that he’d be the one to do it, perish the thought! What’s that supposed to mean? Hmm? > [@](#): > > it wasn’t necessary for the men to put themselves in harm’s way in order to get the three women home safely. It sounds like this was what the wife and friend were upset about – the prospect of unnecessary violence Right, they thought the violence was unnecessary, completely oblivious to the fact that violence, or at least the threat of violence, was crucial to ending the situation. That’s the language Douchebag speaks. “Woman says no? Keep trying. Guy says take a hike? Threaten him and keep trying. Oh, guy says take a hike or he’ll kick my ass? Better go, then.” > [@](#): > > they could have talked to the bartender or the bouncer or the creep’s friend as soon as they realized the creep wasn’t just going to leave the women alone. #1, he started it. Just how much time do you think I had? #2, I didn’t even know the dishwasher/bouncer was even in the room until two or three minutes into it. #3, why would I push the responsibility onto someone no more capable that me? The Douchebag picked a fight with me, not the bartender. What’s it got to do with her? You guys keep saying “talk to the bartender, talk to the bouncer, talk to whoever,” but all I keep hearing is “make it someone else’s problem.” And no, I’m not going to do that. Not ever. > [@MandaJo](#): > > You have a flat tire. Oh shit. You pull off, get out of the car, and go around to the back to get out your jack… If you say “oh yeah, you saved my ass”, you kind of feel like you are joining him in insulting your own competence–you can’t change a tire?–and approving of his crazy showboat technique, which you don’t. You REALLY don’t want to encourage him to do that again. But you don’t want to take him to task for it, because he really didn’t have to stop at all, and you appreciate the thought, if not the action. Aaaaand stop right there. The analogy is broken. I don’t know how many times I have to say it, but she didn’t “get her jack” and she can’t “change a tire.” This has been CONFIRMED already, so don’t keep questioning it. So yeah, they did think I was going to “set your car on fire.” That’s the whole point. I didn’t set your car on fire, did I? And you’re back on the road again, aren’t you? And you wouldn’t be if I’d left you alone, now would you? > [@panaccione](#): > > I can agree with most of what you said except for this part. Mr. Sense could have left it at “excuse me” and then remained silent or laughed it off. Or he could have said, “Hey calm down buddy.” Instead, he chose to escalate the situation which is pretty typical. > > It seems that the perpetrator in this story was aggressive, but not overtly violent. I could be wrong and im not trying to make excuses. Rookie mistake. Remaining silent or laughing it off is the type of response that gets you hit. It tells the other guy that he can threaten you without any risk. You can’t let that happen or you’ve lost control of the situation. And yeah, you are wrong about him being overtly violent. He offered to fight me. He said he’s a dangerous man, a crazy man. He’d break me. He’d leave me to die. He’d kill me, etc. You don’t get any more violent than that. > [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > The woman was seeking help and security wasn’t forthcoming. You then stepped in and helped in a situation in which she was clearly asking for help. Right, which is identical to my story. > [@Lamia](#): > > From the OP it sounds like the creep did not become agitated and begin threatening violence until after the macho staring contest occurred, so this did have the result of escalating the situation even if that was not **Chessic Sense** ’s intent. You have it wrong, then. He got agitated at my presence. I was facing away from him, just listening, and turned maybe 45 degrees toward him, so still mainly looking away. That’s when the “The fuck you lookin’ at?” came in. And so it’s begun. You can’t let it slide or worse will come. You can’t overtly challenge him back or then he _has to_ fight you to save face. So you give him a chance to back out with a neutral response of “Excuse me?!:mad:” He can either quit now with a simple “Bah!” or “Whatever” or keep going. If you’d just read the script, you’d know all this already. Here’s a copy. Your lines are under “The male friend.” **Chef Troy** ’s read the script: > [@](#): > > Knowing my part to play (and yes, I understand the OP’s characterization of it as a piece of theater, even if some of you don’t seem to) ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2013, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/149 "2013-06-02T21:21:29Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > How exactly are we supposed to do that? Telepathy? The creep’s breathing down her neck, practically sitting in her chair. She’s leaning against me. You can’t _miss_ a signal like that. > . Lean over to her, and in a voice loud enough for the creepy dude to hear you _ask her_ - it would give him a clue that you are casually grouped with her, she is not there alone and looking for company, and she can say a resounding _yes_ back to you. You do not need to be subtle, if she had wanted to be left alone with the creep, she can say _yes_ and it would let the creep know that yes indeed her _no_ was actually a _yes_. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2013, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/150 "2013-06-02T21:40:27Z")
Here’s a point of view I think is worth pondering. If you know somebody that at some point in time you would EXPECT that person to help you out in a bind and would be extremely pissed off if they did not when the shit hits the fan, then you need to quit the bitchin when they do help you just because they didn’t time it right or do it in method you think was wrong. Especially when it turns out okay. And you are just Monday night quarterbacking. Women. They don’t need no stinkin help. Till they do. Woe be the person that doesn’t find that finite point of transition in an infinitely large range of conditions. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2013, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/151 "2013-06-02T21:49:32Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > #1, he started it. Just how much time do you think I had? #2, I didn’t even know the dishwasher/bouncer was even in the room until two or three minutes into it. #3, why would I push the responsibility onto someone no more capable that me? The Douchebag picked a fight with me, not the bartender. What’s it got to do with her? You guys keep saying “talk to the bartender, talk to the bouncer, talk to whoever,” but all I keep hearing is “make it someone else’s problem.” And no, I’m not going to do that. Not ever. What do you think bouncers are there for? That’s their job. The responsibility is already there. Recently, I went to a bar and got punched in the head. You know what I did? I walked away and told the bouncer and they threw him out. I didn’t threaten him or fight back because that would just be stupid. > [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Rookie mistake. Remaining silent or laughing it off is the type of response that gets you hit. It tells the other guy that he can threaten you without any risk. You can’t let that happen or you’ve lost control of the situation. > > And yeah, you are wrong about him being overtly violent. He offered to fight me. He said he’s a dangerous man, a crazy man. He’d break me. He’d leave me to die. He’d kill me, etc. You don’t get any more violent than that. Non-sense. There’s a thousand different ways you could have handled that situation differently. You could have said, “hey buddy calm down. We’re not looking for trouble.” Or, you could have said, “I’m watching the game.” There’s nothing in those responses that says he can threaten you without any risk. Instead, it says I’m not really scared of you because I can remain calm under a direct threat. I just don’t want to fight. Instead, you let him get to you and just reacted. That’s when you actually lost control of the situation. Whether you want to admit it or not you did escalate the situation. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2013, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/152 "2013-06-02T21:49:51Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > . > > I promise you, **even sven** , if we ever end up in the same bar in DC, perhaps at a Dopefest or something, I will do absolutely nothing to help you in any way. With anything. No matter what. You have my honest-to-God word on that. It is super, _super_ gross and creepy for you to drag a potential real-life social situation into this. And silly, too. I’m imagining you sitting there at a Dopefest shooting some Manson lamps at **sven** , just _hoping_ against _hope_ that she’ll need to open a door while her hands are full or something, so you can give her a knowing smirk, and then, oh boy, she’ll have been showed. She’ll have been _so_ showed. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2013, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/153 "2013-06-02T22:43:09Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Thank you! I feel like you’re the only one in this thread that actually read and understood the chronology of events that occurred. > > Quiz time, folks! > Did the bartender throw the guy out? _No!_ > Did the bouncer throw the guy out? _No!_ > Did Marine throw the guy out? _No!_ > Did I throw the guy out? _No!_ > Was I invited to intervene? _Yes!_ > Did the women have a problem with me intervening? _No!_ > Did they appreciate my intervention? _Yes!_ > Did they criticize me later for intervening? _No!_ > Did I start the confrontation? _No!_ > Did I escalate the confrontation? _No!_ > Were they all walked to their cars later? _Yes!_ If all this is true, why did you start this thread? Because your OP doesn’t say anything about being invited to intervene, and your lengthy rant about the ungrateful bitches who deserve to be raped for their bad attitudes certainly suggested that the women had a problem with you intervening, did not appreciate your intervention, and criticized you later. > [@](#): > > You can’t possibly still think I meant that literally, even at the time of writing. It’s clearly facetious even in the original post. So what exactly was the literal meaning of your gloating over the prospect of bitches who disrespected you being raped? > [@](#): > > No, it wasn’t just “a Doper,” it was specifically **even sven** , the poster whose contribution I value the least. That goes for just about any thread on any topic. Ah, so your justification for posting about how you look forward to watching her be assaulted is that you don’t value her contributions to the board. Well, that certainly does shed some more light on your character. > [@](#): > > What’s that supposed to mean? Hmm? It means that I am not impressed by your boasts about bravely rescuing women from rapists because you have also shared with us your fantasies about watching women – including the ones you “saved” – being raped by someone else as punishment for their lack of respect towards you. > [@](#): > > You have it wrong, then. He got agitated at my presence. In the OP you said he didn’t become agitated and start threatening violence until after you decided it was necessary to “play the male part”. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2013, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/154 "2013-06-02T23:28:25Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > And silly, too. I’m imagining you sitting there at a Dopefest shooting some Manson lamps at **sven** , just _hoping_ against _hope_ that she’ll need to open a door while her hands are full or something, so you can give her a knowing smirk, and then, oh boy, she’ll have been showed. She’ll have been _so_ showed. That’s what happens when you start waving your vagina around on the internet. She should have known better. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2013, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/155 "2013-06-02T23:30:46Z")
All day today I was worried I was going to get raped tonight, but then I read this thread title and was so relieved. Thank you so much, Chessic Sense, though calling me a bitch was unnecessary. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2013, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/156 "2013-06-02T23:36:53Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > No. No they don’t. One can make a comfortable life for themselves by listening to everything **even sven** has ever said and doing the exact opposite. **woodstock** ’s reply is non sequitur and uses disparaging terms like “white knight” as if white knights were bad things. So yeah, I would mind rereading them, and I’m certainly not going to ponder them one second longer. 😕 I think you misunderstood their (combined) point. Here’s the deal: I get that you dislike **even sven** , at least how she represents herself and the advice/interpretations she gives in her posts. That’s cool; there’s nothing intrinsically wrong about that\*. So saying > [@](#): > > I have to say, out of all the posters on the entire SDMB, I don’t think there’s a single one with a worse record for being right or giving good advice than your record. Isn’t the problem. What people have found objectionable/disturbing/very telling is this part: > [@](#): > > I promise you, even sven, if we ever end up in the same bar in DC, perhaps at a Dopefest or something, I will do absolutely nothing to help you in any way. With anything. No matter what. You have my honest-to-God word on that. **If your motivations for helping someone really _were_ altruistic, as you claim, it wouldn’t occur to you to say something like this** , let alone not understand the issue people have with it. The right thing to do (helping someone in need/in distress) doesn’t _stop_ being the right thing to do because you don’t like that person. There was a co-worker at my previous job whom I literally despised. But if he was in trouble/needed help, I wouldn’t hesitate to do all I could for help, like I would for family or friends. The fact you said you would not help a poster you dislike is disturbing. The clarifications for emphasis(“…to help you in any way. With anything. No matter what. You have my honest-to-God word on that.”) make it even more so. Do you see what I’m saying? That was the main point of my post, but I’ll quickly reply to: > [@](#): > > You think I should be OK with someone making fun of me for saving their ass? Or are you still failing to understand that I _did_, in fact, save their ass? The failure to understand is yours, my friend. You have NO way of knowing for sure what would/could have happened if you hadn’t acted as you did. Yes, I’ll agree that it’s absolutely possible that you prevented a horrible attack/assault. But I don’t agree it’s certain that an assault would have taken place without your actions. It might have or might not. - I _personally_ completely disagree with you because I think **even sven** rocks, but every Doper is gonna have posters they dislike for whatever reasons just like in the real world. It’s not a big deal. I have some good friends who have other good friends I cannot STAND … doesn’t mean I think my friend is horrible for liking him/her. We just generally don’t ALL hang out together. No biggie. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2013, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/157 "2013-06-02T23:49:54Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > . But I don’t agree it’s certain that an assault would have taken place without your actions. It might have or might not. . That’s true. But all the folks that think he didn’t need to do anything because nothing happened need to lay off too. Because it could have gone down badly if he had NOT done something (probably not rape, but some gropping and or slapping/fisticuffs/shenanigans). Nobody here knows the alternate timeline and more importantly nobody was there to read the real “vibes” going down, not to mention all the other minor details that can’t be captured with a relatively small amount of text. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2013, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/158 "2013-06-02T23:57:30Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > If all this is true, why did you start this thread? Because your OP doesn’t say anything about being invited to intervene, and your lengthy rant about the ungrateful bitches who deserve to be raped for their bad attitudes certainly suggested that the women had a problem with you intervening, did not appreciate your intervention, and criticized you later. Well, it’s confirmed. You haven’t read the thread. I’ve repeatedly said several things directly contradicting your post. You’re not even in the ballpark here. You clearly haven’t read a damn thing I’ve posted, and now you’re just arguing with a character in your head. > [@](#): > > So what exactly was the literal meaning of your gloating over the prospect of bitches who disrespected you being raped? I’m honestly stunned by your lack of comprehension. Not once did I say _anything close_ to gloating about rape of any sort. What I specifically said is that next time someone heads down that road, I’ll mind my own business, which is of course a lie. I’ll stop it again and listen to you bitch about it again, and every time thereafter. > [@](#): > > Ah, so your justification for posting about how you look forward to watching her be assaulted You’re just making shit up at this point. Quote where I said “I look forward to watching you be assaulted.” Find it or STFU. > [@](#): > > you have also shared with us your fantasies about watching women – including the ones you “saved” – being raped by someone else as punishment for their lack of respect towards you. Seriously, you’re just inventing things. Again, quote it or STFU. Otherwise, apologize. > [@](#): > > In the OP you said he didn’t become agitated and start threatening violence until after you decided it was necessary to “play the male part”. Yeah? So? What’s that have to do with the creepy guy? _Nothing._ I mean, really, are you even sure you’re posting in the right thread? > [@Bob Ducca](#): > > All day today I was worried I was going to get raped tonight, but then I read this thread title and was so relieved. Thank you so much, Chessic Sense, though calling me a bitch was unnecessary. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/159 "2013-06-03T00:01:00Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > The failure to understand is yours, my friend. You have NO way of knowing for sure what would/could have happened if you hadn’t acted as you did. Yes, I’ll agree that it’s absolutely possible that you prevented a horrible attack/assault. But I don’t agree it’s certain that an assault would have taken place without your actions. It might have or might not. Hell, what if **Chessic Sense** and co. had ended up getting their own asses kicked? ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/160 "2013-06-03T00:09:16Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Nobody here knows the alternate timeline and more importantly nobody was there to read the real “vibes” going down, not to mention all the other minor details that can’t be captured with a relatively small amount of text. At least two of the people who _were_ there to read the “vibes” of the situation stated immediately after the fact that they felt **Chessic** ’s self-admittedly drunken actions were unnecessary. One of those people was the person supposedly being harassed, and the other person was \ ***Chessic** ’s own wife, \* who presumably is not in the regular practice of giving him shit for no obvious reason. Why, I wonder, are you so sure that _their_ assessment of the situation was the one in error? It is a most curious mystery! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845.md?page=9)