# You won't be raped tonight...you're fucking welcome, bitch. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 1, 2013, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845 "2013-06-01T06:05:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/161 "2013-06-03T00:10:59Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > The right thing to do (helping someone in need/in distress) doesn’t _stop_ being the right thing to do \*\*because you don’t like that person. > \*\* > The fact you said you would not help a poster **you dislike** is disturbing. The clarifications for emphasis(“…to help you in any way. With anything. No matter what. You have my honest-to-God word on that.”) make it even more so. Do you see what I’m saying? Ah. Let me clarify the bolded part. That’s not the reason. The reason is that her posts throughout the years make it clear that she is _actively hostile_ to the idea of a man helping her out. If **Der Trihs** had a flat tire, I’d stop to help because it’s the right thing to do. If **even sven** had a flat tire, I’d assume if I stopped to help, she’d mace me and call me a chauvinist pig. Add that to the fact that there’s not a topic under the sun that we agree upon, and she’s a social minefield I dare not tread upon. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/162 "2013-06-03T00:13:07Z")
Not better, dude. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/163 "2013-06-03T00:13:11Z")
> [@colander](#): > > Why, I wonder, are you so sure that _their_ assessment of the situation was the one in error? It is a most curious mystery! Because they were being defensive due to their own short comings dealing with burly men and thus responded with “we coulda dealt with it ourselves” Right babe. How’s that? ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/164 "2013-06-03T00:19:19Z")
> [@colander](#): > > At least two of the people who _were_ there to read the “vibes” of the situation stated immediately after the fact that they felt **Chessic** ’s self-admittedly drunken actions were unnecessary. One of those people was the person supposedly being harassed, and the other person was \ ***Chessic** ’s own wife, \* who presumably is not in the regular practice of giving him shit for no obvious reason. > > Why, I wonder, are you so sure that _their_ assessment of the situation was the one in error? It is a most curious mystery! “The person supposedly being harassed” was thankful for my intervention, but not the violent brinkmanship on her behalf. We’ve covered this already. _ **Chessic** ’s own wife_ was upset because she didn’t want to see me mess up my pretty face. Not a half hour later, she saw the light after understanding what had happened. You won’t be satisfied until you can review the security footage for yourself, but since you have a habit of [not believing what you don’t want to believe](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=16342021&postcount=38), I see no point in furthering this. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/165 "2013-06-03T00:21:39Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > If **Der Trihs** had a flat tire, I’d stop to help because it’s the right thing to do. If **even sven** had a flat tire, I’d assume if I stopped to help, she’d mace me and call me a chauvinist pig.. I LOLed. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/166 "2013-06-03T00:37:55Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > So here’s a hearty FUCK YOU to you two. To the woman you thought you were protecting and to your wife? That’s quite the big dick you are swinging at them. The sooner you crawl back up your own asshole the better, with your drunken antisocial behaviour when out at the bar and your internet tough guy routine. You are an embarrassment to your sex. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/167 "2013-06-03T00:46:19Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Well, it’s confirmed. You haven’t read the thread. I’ve repeatedly said several things directly contradicting your post. You’re not even in the ballpark here. You clearly haven’t read a damn thing I’ve posted, and now you’re just arguing with a character in your head. Are you sure _you’ve_ read this thread? Because you’re the one who started it off by calling your friend a bitch and saying things like: > [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > So here’s a hearty FUCK YOU to you two. I don’t remember the bartender being withing punching range. I don’t remember the bartender standing between you and the drunk Douchebag. Next time I’ll just mind my own fucking business. Next time some drunk is ten seconds away from just groping you at the bar, I’ll just shyly stare into my drink. Next time, I guarantee you, I’ll refrain from putting myself in overt physical danger to protect you, because obviously it’s unappreciated. Next time someone is threatening to assault you in the parking lot, I’ll be sure to look the other way, because as the saying does, all that is necessary for things to turn out fine is that good men do nothing, You sounded awfully pleased about the prospect of these women being assaulted. > [@](#): > > You’re just making shit up at this point. Quote where I said “I look forward to watching you be assaulted.” Find it or STFU. I didn’t claim those were your exact words, but given the topic and title of this thread I’m not sure what other sort of harm you could have been wishing upon **even sven** in this post, which I did already quote: > [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > I promise you, **even sven** , if we ever end up in the same bar in DC, perhaps at a Dopefest or something, I will do absolutely nothing to help you in any way. With anything. No matter what. You have my honest-to-God word on that. I first offered my take on this back in [post #125](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=16344348&postcount=125). While you were quick to explain that it was **even sven** who you had it in for personally and not just some random Doper, I note that you have not offered any other explanation for this hypothetical unpleasantness that is supposed to befall her at a bar where you just so happen to be present. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/168 "2013-06-03T00:47:42Z")
Yeah. Because when someone really pisses you off you naturally think “that was a moderately suboptimum behavior. It caused an small but nearly imperceptible decrease in my happiness”. Replying to Muffin. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/169 "2013-06-03T01:08:34Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > “The person supposedly being harassed” was thankful for my intervention, but not the violent brinkmanship on her behalf. We’ve covered this already. > > _ **Chessic** ’s own wife_ was upset because she didn’t want to see me mess up my pretty face. Not a half hour later, she saw the light after understanding what had happened. On Monday, I guess she’ll have to tell her co-workers that she fell down the stairs again. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/170 "2013-06-03T01:18:20Z")
Damn, **colander**. That’s kind of low. But hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/171 "2013-06-03T01:21:05Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > And yeah, you are wrong about him being overtly violent. He offered to fight me. He said he’s a dangerous man, a crazy man. He’d break me. He’d leave me to die. He’d kill me, etc. You don’t get any more violent than that. :dubious: I actually do think it’s possible to be more violent than that, since he wasn’t actually violent at all. Sure, he ran his mouth, as drunk loudmouths in bars are wont to do, but he didn’t actually lay a hand on anyone, did he? Which is not to say that you shouldn’t have told him to leave your friends alone, or kept an eye on your friends until they were safely on their way home, or told the bouncer to kick the jackass out of the bar. But let’s not make this into more than it was. You had a tense situation that you handled pretty well, although probably more aggressively than was necessary, but all in all things ended up OK. Had you mentioned it as an anecdote in a relevant thread, I expect you’d have gotten nothing but kudos. But this thread? Not so impressive. You come across like a self-congratulatory, blowhard douchebag throughout. I suspect you’re somewhat unbearable to be around in real life. ---
**Author:** ![Tee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Tee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tee)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/172 "2013-06-03T01:54:56Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > That’s what happens when you start waving your vagina around on the internet. She should have known better. I LOLed at this. And this: > [@billfish678](#): > > Women. They don’t need no stinkin help. Till they do. > > Woe be the person that doesn’t find that finite point of transition in an infinitely large range of conditions. You men, always knowing the exact limits of your capabilities. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a6a055/32.png) [@Tequila\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Party)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/173 "2013-06-03T01:54:58Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Here’s a point of view I think is worth pondering. If you know somebody that at some point in time you would EXPECT that person to help you out in a bind and would be extremely pissed off if they did not when the shit hits the fan, then you need to quit the bitchin when they do help you just because they didn’t time it right or do it in method you think was wrong. Especially when it turns out okay. And you are just Monday night quarterbacking. > > **Women. They don’t need no stinkin help. Till they do.** > > Woe be the person that doesn’t find that finite point of transition in an infinitely large range of conditions. Men. They don’t need a clue by four upside the head. Until they do. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/174 "2013-06-03T01:56:49Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > I suspect you’re somewhat unbearable to be around in real life. Aren’t all Dopers and that’s why they are here? 🙂 Besides the banned ones that are even worse 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/175 "2013-06-03T02:45:23Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Ah. Let me clarify the bolded part. That’s not the reason. The reason is that her posts throughout the years make it clear that she is _actively hostile_ to the idea of a man helping her out. > > If **Der Trihs** had a flat tire, I’d stop to help because it’s the right thing to do. If **even sven** had a flat tire, I’d assume if I stopped to help, she’d mace me and call me a chauvinist pig. > > Add that to the fact that there’s not a topic under the sun that we agree upon, and she’s a social minefield I dare not tread upon. You’re still skipping a step - are you going to ask her if she wants help? 'Cause if you pull over, elbow her out of the way, and start jacking her car up without even knowing if she _wants_ your help, macing you would be an entirely appropriate response. If, on the other hand, you pulled over, rolled down your window, and asked her politely if she’d like a hand, I’m betting she’d respond with either a polite “no thanks, I’m fine” or a grateful, “yes, thanks so much!” Either response would be perfectly reasonable, and neither one makes you any more or less of a man. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/176 "2013-06-03T02:49:18Z")
> [@Enginerd](#): > > …Either response would be perfectly reasonable, and neither one makes you any more or less of a man. Ah, he never claimed to be a man. He said he played the man _role_. Acting! ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/177 "2013-06-03T03:42:26Z")
This whole threads kind of funny because instead of just dropping it, **Chessic Sense** is still looking for a fight. ---
**Author:** ![Crazyhorse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazyhorse/32/31_2.png) [@Crazyhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazyhorse)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/178 "2013-06-03T04:45:15Z")
Meanwhile, somewhere on another message board: > [@](#): > > … So the other night my roomie and I stopped in at a bar to have a couple of drinks and relax. We are both working overtime for the next entire month. We barely get a chance to say hi as it is, much less get out for an evening, and we had been really looking forward to this all week. > > But no sooner did we even sit down and order our drinks than this local douchebag who’s always in there comes in with his wife and walks right over to our table! We tried to pretend we were just leaving but it was too late, he was already taking chairs from other tables and ordering us a second round we didn’t want - we were trapped. Ugh. > > Well if that wasn’t bad enough it turned out that this creepy guy who had been giving us the horn dog eye since we sat down was actually his old friend (of course - how could I not have guessed…) who had been waiting there to meet them. > > Both of them instantly got stiffies over my roomie while this guys poor wife just gets angrier and angrier - it was just embarrassing for everyone. > > They hovered around us the entire night flexing their muscles and making vulgar attempts to hit on us. He kept asking us shit like if we needed him and his marine buddy to “stick around and protect us from all these guys who would just love a chance to jump our fine asses” - eeewww! I was searching for some reason, any reason, we could get up and politely leave without offending these creeps but I was totally frozen. I just couldn’t come up with anything. > > Finally these two guys who had been quietly watching all this came over to try to help us out. Thanks to them we were able to escape what was becoming a really uncomfortable and maybe even dangerous situation. They agreed with the bartender and bouncer that the safest thing to do would be to allow these tough guys to play the heroes and ‘save’ us from them so that we could make our hasty escape in all the commotion. > > They agreed to come over and act like drunks trying to hit on us. This would allow these two clowns to put on their best Steven Seagal faces and stare them down - or whatever macho head games they had been hoping to play all night and then before anything got too heated that would give the bouncer a good excuse to come over and ask everyone to break it up and call it a night - THANK GOD for these two gutsy guys. They were seriously willing to sit down at a table and stare down some guy and his marine friend, at great peril to themselves, just so we would be able to quietly sneak out during the distraction they created. I don’t know who you two heroes were, but if you ever find this message - THANK YOU! ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/179 "2013-06-03T05:13:40Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Ah, he never claimed to be a man. He said he played the man _role_. Acting! Genius! > [@Giraffe](#): > > I actually do think it’s possible to be more violent than that, since he wasn’t actually violent at all. No. This is factually incorrect. Saying “I am a crazy person! I am liable to do anything! Grrrr!” is literally the most violent thing it is possible for a human being to do. It is physically and biologically impossible to be more violent than that. I mean, if you weren’t liable to do _anything_, then you obviously wouldn’t _say that in a bar_. Come on, man. Use your head. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2013, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845/180 "2013-06-03T06:18:30Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > _ **Chessic** ’s own wife_ was upset because she didn’t want to see me mess up my pretty face. Not a half hour later, she saw the light after understanding what had happened. If you’ve been harping about it here I can only imagine what you were like in person. You don’t think maybe she said that just to shut you up? Look, being a guy in those situations is not fun. We’ve all had to do it. But you will just not stop with the silly ‘I played my man-part’ part. Clean your drawers and get on with your life. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-wont-be-raped-tonight-youre-fucking-welcome-bitch/659845.md?page=10)