# You! Yes, you, you psychotic hosebeast! You're FIRED!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 29, 2005, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-yes-you-you-psychotic-hosebeast-youre-fired/337631 "2005-12-29T21:24:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-yes-you-you-psychotic-hosebeast-youre-fired/337631/141 "2006-01-03T19:05:47Z")
Ah, she decided to go the old “I’m the lynchpin in the operation, you’ll be sorry” route. Excellent. That’s one of my favorites. BTW, your HR person sounds top notch. IMHO, lunch should be _mandated_, and everyone should chip in to treat you and Mike. I know I would. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-yes-you-you-psychotic-hosebeast-youre-fired/337631/142 "2006-01-03T19:06:38Z")
After reading the Joan termination, I very much fear that **Mama Tiger** ’s prediction will not come to pass. > [@Mama Tiger](#): > > One would hope that everyone has to grow up, and this may be Maureen’s point. It may take getting fired for her to begin to see that she brought it on herself. Then again, she may remain dangerously clueless and blame everyone else for what happened; but this might actually shock her into taking a look at her own behavior. I foresee a lot of surreptitious phone calls to former co-workers, trying to find out how badly the place is falling apart. I think you did everything by the book, you gave her lots of chances, and now she will be someone else’s headache. ---
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-yes-you-you-psychotic-hosebeast-youre-fired/337631/143 "2006-01-03T19:08:47Z")
**WOW!** ::lights cyber ciggie and leans back on pillows:: ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-yes-you-you-psychotic-hosebeast-youre-fired/337631/144 "2006-01-03T19:08:59Z")
> [@Khadaji](#): > > On a more serious note though, I know how hard it is to fire someone, even if they deserve it. Always know that it isn’t your fault and you owed it to the company and your team to make sure that someone like this was let go. Someone here once said his father told him, “Remember, you didn’t fire them. They fired themselves. You just filled out the paperwork.” I’d love some feedback from the other employees. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-yes-you-you-psychotic-hosebeast-youre-fired/337631/145 "2006-01-03T19:09:02Z")
> [@Khadaji](#): > > Wow. Totally bad for **Joan**. Never ever tell people that they can’t work without you or that they will be sorry they will miss you. You just look that more pathetic. > > Good story **Maureen**. On a more serious note though, I know how hard it is to fire someone, even if they deserve it. Always know that it isn’t your fault and you owed it to the company and your team to make sure that someone like this was let go. That should have said: Totally bad for_m_ **Joan** ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-yes-you-you-psychotic-hosebeast-youre-fired/337631/146 "2006-01-03T19:14:22Z")
Joan needs some meds. ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-yes-you-you-psychotic-hosebeast-youre-fired/337631/147 "2006-01-03T19:16:35Z")
Holy. Shit. 1. Thank you for all the time you’ve spent detailing the situation; it’s provided countless of us with hours of entertainment (and anticipation!) 2. You and Mike deserve medals for not cracking up, pointing and laughing, or resorting to “shut the fuck up, you psychotic bitch!” 3. Despite how easy the decision really was, this was no doubt a difficult thing to do, and were it me I would have been up most of last night fretting about how it was going to go. Good for you for stepping up to the plate and doing a top-notch, professional job. 4. I’m shocked, shocked I tell you, that she didn’t accuse you of giving Mike blowjobs as well. 😛 5. Were I one of your employees, I would have forced everyone else to give you a standing ovation. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-yes-you-you-psychotic-hosebeast-youre-fired/337631/148 "2006-01-03T19:22:15Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > Okay. Tylenol and **cherry pepsi** have helped re-establish normalcy. Bolding Mine. Cherry Pepsi is not normal. You need help. 😛 > [@](#): > > Any misgivings I had about terminating this person were allayed _immediately_ upon her walking into my office and saying “okay, who got their panties in a twist over something I said this time?” > > “Mike, what’s going on here! I don’t believe this! I’ve been with the company longer than _she_ has, she can’t fire me, she doesn’t even know how to run a department! This is ridiculous! Nothing I’ve said or done warrants my being fired, you have to listen to my side first. You have to make her let me stay, I deserve probation at the very worst, you know all this, you better tell her RIGHT NOW it’s a mistake, and I want her on report for trying to do this!!” > > “I’ve worked for this company for 12 YEARS! It’s my life! I give so much to this place and never ever think about taking as much as I give. I’m here for everyone, and no one appreciates how much I do for this department!” (then to me) “You’re _jealous!_ You’re jealous that I’m better at this than you are and you’ve tried to make me out to be the scapegoat for all the ways you’ve screwed up. I don’t want to hear anything else from you. This is your fault. I’m done with you.” > > “I have given good and loyal service to this company and I don’t deserve to be brushed off this way. Explain how this is fair.” > > She turned and gave me a death look, and I went down the list of items over the past year which have led to the termination of her employment. > > “You’ll see. Without me here, you’ll be lucky to still have this department functioning in six months. When you call me begging me to come back, I’m not going to do it, though. I’ve been shafted by this company enough!” She stood up. I stood. She asked where I was going. “Well, Joan, I need to collect your card key from you, as well as your parking pass.” > > You would think I had just butchered an infant in front of her. FULL ON screech mode. > “ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF STEALING?? ARE YOU SAYING I’M GOING TO COME BACK SOME TIME AND STEAL SOMETHING FROM THE OFFICE? WHILE YOU’RE AT IT WHY DON’T YOU STAND OVER MY SHOULDER AND MAKE SURE I DON’T STEAL ANYTHING?” > > She then went around to each. and every. other. employee and tearfully told them how sad she was that she wouldn’t be around to help them anymore, and gave out her email address. Then she left. I consider these to be the classic steps of a being fired meltdown. I had already thought that these were the things you were bound to hear this morning. Of course, you already knew that too. I’ve heard and seen 'em all. The tearfully going around to former co-workers bit was a wonderful drama queen finishing touch. I’m sure she played it up well. _SNIFF_ I miss Joan already. _SNIFF_ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-yes-you-you-psychotic-hosebeast-youre-fired/337631/149 "2006-01-03T19:24:49Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > "ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF STEALING?? Evidently, she didn’t listen to the reasons for her termination. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-yes-you-you-psychotic-hosebeast-youre-fired/337631/150 "2006-01-03T19:27:20Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Someone here once said his father told him, “Remember, you didn’t fire them. They fired themselves. You just filled out the paperwork.” > > I’d love some feedback from the other employees. Mike said something very similar. He told me “you’d be amazed at how many people know they’re in line for termination. In most cases, you aren’t telling them anything they didn’t see coming.” We’ve ordered Italian (it just seemed fitting, somehow…). **ETF** , I have not seen everyone this happy at the same time since they all got their Christmas bonuses. It’s totally worth it to see morale take such a huge boost. ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-yes-you-you-psychotic-hosebeast-youre-fired/337631/151 "2006-01-03T19:27:56Z")
> [@Winston Smith](#): > > A bit anti-climactic, don’t you think? Honestly. She didn’t drive into the pole again? Or shit on your desk? Nothing but yelling and crying? > > I’m terribly disappointed. 😉 She has to run home for her AK first… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-yes-you-you-psychotic-hosebeast-youre-fired/337631/152 "2006-01-03T19:28:38Z")
I forgot to add a couple of things. First, Mike is a class act. I need me a Mike around here. Good for him! Second, fess up **Maureen**! Were you not thinking the whole time what a great story this was gonna be to tell? Were you mentally composing your post the whole time? How did you keep from cracking up during her ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF STEALING! hissy fit? Good for you for keeping your cool and being professional. I know that had to be hard especially knowing there were untold teeming millions of us just waiting for this. ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-yes-you-you-psychotic-hosebeast-youre-fired/337631/153 "2006-01-03T19:31:19Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > **ETF** , I have not seen everyone this happy at the same time since they all got their Christmas bonuses. It’s totally worth it to see morale take such a huge boost. I gather she didn’t come home to an expected inbox full of sympathetic emails from her former coworkers. 😃 Adam ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-yes-you-you-psychotic-hosebeast-youre-fired/337631/154 "2006-01-03T19:31:41Z")
Bravo! And you kept your cool – that had to be hard. I admire your ability to relate how it went down. I can never remember what people say in tense situations, even if it’s just minutes later. If this had been me, I’d have said “We fired her and she got mad and tossed her pass at me”, cuz that’s all I’d remember. Like **Ivylass** said, Joan will probably be contacting co-workers to check on the aftermath. Any thoughts on how that will be handled? Will you and/or Mike be meeting with them to explain what happened, or to arrange for someone to handle Joan’s job? It’s gonna be so nice, the first time you can say to a caller, “I’m sorry, Joan’s no longer with the company, but we have a non-psychotic hosebeast who can help you with that.” ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-yes-you-you-psychotic-hosebeast-youre-fired/337631/155 "2006-01-03T19:34:08Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > . . . I went down the list of items over the past year which have led to the termination of her employment. Just because I’m nosey, besides the radio incident and this one, what were the other items? Did she have any reaction to each item as you read it off? Enjoy your well-deserved lunch! ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-yes-you-you-psychotic-hosebeast-youre-fired/337631/156 "2006-01-03T19:34:46Z")
Y’know, **Swampy** , I absolutely did think “I can’t wait to see the reaction this is going to get…” more than once during that interminable 35 minutes. But while I have a good poker face, it ain’t THAT good. I had to force myself to stop thinking about it because it was making me grin. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-yes-you-you-psychotic-hosebeast-youre-fired/337631/157 "2006-01-03T19:40:55Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > We’ve ordered Italian (it just seemed fitting, somehow…). My money was on Joan’s favorite - Mexican. Honestly, I doubt she saw this coming. Dissing programmers and implying an RN were small potatoes with her behavior. Honestly, when they don’t can you for calling the spouses of fellow employees to tell them about non-existant affairs, you are in “job for life” territory. This one was a blip on the impropriety radar. Besides, she seems to be a person who is firmly entitled. Entitled to her job, entitled to someone else’s boombox, entitled to have only food she likes at lunch… ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-yes-you-you-psychotic-hosebeast-youre-fired/337631/158 "2006-01-03T19:41:48Z")
As psycho as she was, I do think it would be a good idea to have a department meeting and air it out. It’s the best way to quash the rumor mill and prevent the story she will be most assuredly selling to her former orkers to gain a foothold. I hope you remembered to do something Donald Trump-like to your hair this morning. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-yes-you-you-psychotic-hosebeast-youre-fired/337631/159 "2006-01-03T19:46:03Z")
Since this lady has so generously provided her email address, perhaps it might be in order for **Maureen** to speak to IT about having emails from that address to anyone other than the Legal and HR depts bounced or dropped or redirected to the HR dept? :devilish grin: **Maureen** , I raise a glass (of red Burgundy) to you for a classy and professional act. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-yes-you-you-psychotic-hosebeast-youre-fired/337631/160 "2006-01-03T19:51:12Z")
Well done, **Maureen**. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-yes-you-you-psychotic-hosebeast-youre-fired/337631.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-yes-you-you-psychotic-hosebeast-youre-fired/337631.md?page=9)