# You'll shoot your eye out! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 15, 2008, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271 "2008-12-15T18:52:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/1 "2008-12-15T18:52:47Z")
Randy lay there like a slug. It was his only defense. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/2 "2008-12-15T18:54:57Z")
Aunt Clara had for years labored under the delusion that I was not only perpetually 4 years old, but also a girl. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/3 "2008-12-15T18:56:21Z")
Fra-GEE-lay… must be Italian. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/4 "2008-12-15T18:58:02Z")
It’s… it’s… it’s indescribably beautiful! It reminds me of the Fourth of July! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/5 "2008-12-15T18:59:58Z")
I saw some grizzly bears near the About This Message Board forum. You’re looking at me as if I have lobsters crawling out of my ears. ---
**Author:** ![LH75](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lh75/32/4438_2.png) [@LH75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LH75)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/6 "2008-12-15T19:04:59Z")
It was…soap poisoning! ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/7 "2008-12-15T19:06:35Z")
Son of a _bitch!_ ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/8 "2008-12-15T19:08:33Z")
There was only one thing that could pull me away from the soft glow of electric sex in the window. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/9 "2008-12-15T19:08:43Z")
Some men are Baptists, others Catholics; my father was an Oldsmobile man. ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/10 "2008-12-15T19:11:15Z")
It’s a major award! ---
**Author:** ![Paranoid\_Randroid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paranoid_randroid/32/18_2.png) [@Paranoid\_Randroid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paranoid_Randroid)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/11 "2008-12-15T19:11:20Z")
I had a friend whose brother shot his eye out with a BB gun. No, really. Okay – not really _out_, so to speak, but he was thereafter quite blind in that eye. Real tragedy. This film mocks him. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/12 "2008-12-15T19:11:49Z")
Sigh. I am sitting less than six miles from [Ralphie’s house](http://www.achristmasstoryhouse.com/)right now. I want to go to Higbee’s. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/13 "2008-12-15T19:14:24Z")
Deck the halls with boughs of horry, fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra. … ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/14 "2008-12-15T19:16:11Z")
The heavenly aroma still hung in the house. But it was gone, all gone! No turkey! No turkey sandwiches! No turkey salad! No turkey gravy! Turkey Hash! Turkey a la King! Or gallons of turkey soup! Gone, ALL GONE! ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/15 "2008-12-15T19:17:45Z")
> [@Rebo](#): > > The heavenly aroma still hung in the house. But it was gone, all gone! No turkey! No turkey sandwiches! No turkey salad! No turkey gravy! Turkey Hash! Turkey a la King! Or gallons of turkey soup! Gone, ALL GONE! Bumpuses! ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/16 "2008-12-15T19:18:09Z")
Mundane noodle! ---
**Author:** ![rucciface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ba9def/32.png) [@rucciface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rucciface)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/17 "2008-12-15T19:18:43Z")
Daddy’s gonna kill Ralphie! ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/18 "2008-12-15T19:19:08Z")
“Be… sure… to… drink… your… Ovaltine…OVALTINE!? A crummy commercial!?” ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/19 "2008-12-15T19:25:34Z")
I almost shot my little brother’s eye out with a BB gun. I find this thread in very poor taste. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/20 "2008-12-15T19:29:03Z")
> [@UncleRojelio](#): > > I almost shot my little brother’s eye out with a BB gun. I find this thread in very poor taste. You do know this is a quote thread from _A Christmas Story_, right? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271.md?page=2)