# You'll shoot your eye out! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 15, 2008, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271 "2008-12-15T18:52:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/41 "2008-12-15T21:12:42Z")
What brought you to this loooowly state? NOT A FINGER! ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/42 "2008-12-15T21:16:58Z")
I told you not to use Lifeboy! > [@BurnMeUp](#): > > NOT A FINGER! I believe that’s spelled “NATTA FINGA”. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/43 "2008-12-15T21:18:08Z")
Leez helc e! Y yung is oozen oo a oost! Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/44 "2008-12-15T21:19:20Z")
Was there no end to this conspiracy of irrational prejudice against Red Ryder and his peacemaker? ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/45 "2008-12-15T21:24:35Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Good thing it had a compass in the stock. And this thing which tells time! ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/46 "2008-12-15T21:37:10Z")
Oh no! It’s OLD BLUE! ---
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/47 "2008-12-15T21:37:55Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > What has a piquant aftertaste? Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuddddggge? Only I didn’t say Fudge. I said **THE** word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/48 "2008-12-15T21:49:06Z")
> [@brewha](#): > > Only I didn’t say Fudge. I said **THE** word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words The F dash dash dash word. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/49 "2008-12-15T21:54:51Z")
> [@chacoguy420](#): > > …with a piquant aftertaste… My personal preference was for Lux. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/50 "2008-12-15T21:57:02Z")
What is the name of the Lone Ranger’s cousin’s horse? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/51 "2008-12-15T22:10:00Z")
What’d I do, Ma? What’d I do? _What’d I do, Ma? What’d I do?_ Rarely is blatant child abuse so entertaining. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/52 "2008-12-15T22:10:51Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > What is the name of the Lone Ranger’s cousin’s horse? Victor! ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/53 "2008-12-15T22:11:10Z")
With as much dignity as he could muster, the Old Man gathered up the sad remains of his shattered Major Award. Later that night, alone in the backyard, he buried it next to the garage. Now I could never be sure, but I thought that I heard the sound of “Taps” being played. Gently. ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/54 "2008-12-15T22:45:33Z")
Waaah! I can’t put my arms down! ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/55 "2008-12-15T22:55:40Z")
C plus? C plus? Muahahahahahahahahaha! ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/56 "2008-12-15T23:15:49Z")
HO…HO…HO. (Which is supposed to be all caps, dang it…) ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/57 "2008-12-15T23:24:55Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > HO…HO…HO. > > (Which is supposed to be all caps, dang it…) When Ralphie crawls back up the slide, spews out his request, Santa tells him he’ll shoot his eye out…that was classic. When Santa puts his foot on Ralphie’s forehead and pushes him off with “HO…HO…HO!” it was epic. ---
**Author:** ![rolandgunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cdc98d/32.png) [@rolandgunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rolandgunslinger)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/58 "2008-12-15T23:57:14Z")
“Oh boy a Zeppelin” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/59 "2008-12-16T00:02:15Z")
> [@lobotomyboy63](#): > > When Ralphie crawls back up the slide, spews out his request, Santa tells him he’ll shoot his eye out…that was classic. When Santa puts his foot on Ralphie’s forehead and pushes him off with “HO…HO…HO!” it was epic. Randy lying in the pile of cotton at the bottom of the slide was… What’s bigger than epic? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/60 "2008-12-16T00:22:37Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Randy lying in the pile of cotton at the bottom of the slide was… What’s bigger than epic? Cosmic. It’s… it’s _smiling_ at me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271.md?page=4)