# You'll shoot your eye out! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 15, 2008, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271 "2008-12-15T18:52:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Dosipede](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dosipede](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dosipede)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/61 "2008-12-16T01:15:18Z")
Football? What’s a football? ---
**Author:** ![Incensed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Incensed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incensed)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/62 "2008-12-16T01:17:08Z")
Well it’s a leg…you know, like a statue. A statue? Yeah a statue… Yeah! A _statue._ Ralphie! My old man could change fuses quicker than a jackrabbit on a date-he bought 'em by the gross. Quick wiff of ozone and the lamp blazed forth in…(damn, what’s the rest? Internets fail me…) And one I stole from Wikiquote- My old man’s spare tires were only actually tires in the academic sense. They were round and had once been made of rubber. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/63 "2008-12-16T01:17:43Z")
> [@rolandgunslinger](#): > > “Oh boy a Zeppelin” Oh boy, that’s _mine!_ ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/64 "2008-12-16T01:26:26Z")
“I’m not color blind” I’m not color blind either" ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/65 "2008-12-16T01:29:00Z")
Skunked again! ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/66 "2008-12-16T01:38:25Z")
“Where’s Flick? Has anyone seen Flick?” Flick? Flick who? ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/67 "2008-12-16T03:47:08Z")
“This isn’t one of those trees where all the needles fall off, is it?” “Nah, that’s them balsams.” [sub]“Ralphie, shh, shh it’s your mother, your mother! Ralphie, it’s your mother, shhhhh…”[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/68 "2008-12-16T04:02:07Z")
Counter-signed by Pierre Andre! ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/69 "2008-12-16T04:05:04Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > The F dash dash dash word. I had heard that word at least ten times a day from my old man. He worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium; a master. ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/70 "2008-12-16T04:10:35Z")
> [@Rebo](#): > > Aunt Clara had for years labored under the delusion that I was not only perpetually 4 years old, but also a girl. He looks like a deranged Easter Bunny. He does not! He does too. He looks like a pink nightmare! ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/71 "2008-12-16T04:19:13Z")
It’s… A… CLINKER! ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/72 "2008-12-16T05:18:03Z")
My old man could change a fuse faster than a jackrabbit on a date. He bought them by the gross. ---
**Author:** ![Dosipede](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dosipede](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dosipede)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/73 "2008-12-16T06:48:44Z")
Sigh. _puts head down on desk_ ---
**Author:** ![Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d9b06d/32.png) [@Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boozahol_Squid_P.I)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/74 "2008-12-16T09:04:19Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > What is the name of the Lone Ranger’s cousin’s horse? Victor! It’s Victor! Everybody knows that! ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/75 "2008-12-17T01:11:48Z")
… It’s _staring_ at us! ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/76 "2008-12-17T12:55:09Z")
I like _The Wizard of Oz_…I like the Tin Man… ---
**Author:** ![Labtrash](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/labtrash/32/528_2.png) [@Labtrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labtrash)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/77 "2008-12-17T14:59:46Z")
My kid brother looked like a tick about to pop! ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Bongo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a9adbd/32.png) [@Winston\_Bongo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Bongo)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/78 "2008-12-17T15:44:50Z")
Uncle uncle uncle UNCLE! _UUUUUUNCLE!!!_ ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/79 "2008-12-17T16:50:02Z")
::sound of tire popping:: “Ah, blob!” ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youll-shoot-your-eye-out/477271/80 "2008-12-17T16:56:19Z")
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