# Young Chinese are 'too fat and masturbate too much to pass army fitness tests' **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 24, 2017, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-chinese-are-too-fat-and-masturbate-too-much-to-pass-army-fitness-tests/794563 "2017-08-24T15:59:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![simple\_homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@simple\_homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simple_homer)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2017, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-chinese-are-too-fat-and-masturbate-too-much-to-pass-army-fitness-tests/794563/1 "2017-08-24T15:59:38Z")
> **[Young Chinese are 'too fat and masturbate too much' to join army](https://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/young-chinese-are-too-fat-and-masturbate-too-much-to-pass-army-fitness-tests-a3617881.html)** > > A rising number of young Chinese people are failing fitness tests required to join the army because they are too fat and masturbate too much, state media has proclaimed. A rising number of young Chinese people are failing fitness tests required to join the army because they are too fat and masturbate too much, state media has proclaimed. The high rejection rate has triggered concerns that there are not enough youths in good physical condition to fill the ranks of the Chinese army. A poor diet and frequent masturbation, leading to abnormally large testicular veins, are believed to be behind falling fitness levels, according to a report published in state-run military newspaper the People’s Liberation Army Daily. Authorities also think the constant use of smartphones and drinking water with too high a mineral content are to blame. In one city, 56.9 per cent of potential recruits were rejected after failing fitness tests. One in five was simply deemed too fat. The report claimed 8 per cent of male candidates suffered from enlarged testicular veins. “This is related to sitting too long on computer games, excessive masturbation and too little physical activity,” it said. Some 46 per cent were rejected for failing the vision test, with the excessive use of electronic gadgets such as smartphones and tablets blamed. The newspaper report added that the number of additives in junk food and fizzy drinks, as well as high mineral content in water, was damaging candidates’ livers and gallbladders. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2017, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-chinese-are-too-fat-and-masturbate-too-much-to-pass-army-fitness-tests/794563/2 "2017-08-24T16:08:04Z")
> [@](#): > > The report claimed 8 per cent of male candidates suffered from enlarged testicular veins. “This is related to sitting too long on computer games, excessive masturbation and too little physical activity,” it said. Is this the new “don’t do it – you’ll go blind!” ? According to websites I checked, the cause of Enlarge Testicular Veins ( = _Varicocele_) is unknown: > [@](#): > > The cause is unknown, but is thought to result from abnormalities of the veins inside the testicles, leading to a backup of blood that cannot flow, which in turn causes swelling.[4][7] There are three main theories as to the anatomical cause; the first has to do with the geometry of the veins, wherein the vein on the left side connects to the larger outflowing vein at a right angle, which tends to fail; the second is that valves that are supposed to prevent backflow fail (venous insufficiency); the third is that pressure in upstream arteries creates a “nutcracker” syndrome.[7] > > Tobacco smoking and mutations in the gene expressing glutathione S-transferase Mu 1 both put men at risk for infertility; these factors may also exacerbate the risk that varicocele will affect fertility.[7] > **[Varicocele](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Varicocele)** > > A varicocele is, in a male person, an abnormal enlargement of the pampiniform venous plexus in the scrotum; in a female person, it is an abnormal painful swelling to the embryologically identical pampiniform venous plexus; it is more commonly called pelvic compression syndrome. In the male varicocele, this plexus of veins drains blood from the testicles back to the heart. The vessels originate in the abdomen and course down through the inguinal canal as part of the spermatic cord on their way to... Nothing about computer games or jerking off. The report reads like it was written by Old Guys disgusted with Today’s Youth. Next they’ll be telling them to Get Off the Lawn ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2017, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-chinese-are-too-fat-and-masturbate-too-much-to-pass-army-fitness-tests/794563/3 "2017-08-24T16:43:35Z")
This feels like one of those articles that, a couple weeks later, has a “You remember that article? Turns out it wasn’t true” follow-up. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2017, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-chinese-are-too-fat-and-masturbate-too-much-to-pass-army-fitness-tests/794563/4 "2017-08-24T16:48:18Z")
They might be fat, but their right-hand grip strength was _amazing_. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2017, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-chinese-are-too-fat-and-masturbate-too-much-to-pass-army-fitness-tests/794563/5 "2017-08-24T16:51:54Z")
How much is “too much”? Asking for a friend. Need answer fast. ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2017, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-chinese-are-too-fat-and-masturbate-too-much-to-pass-army-fitness-tests/794563/6 "2017-08-24T17:01:56Z")
> [@UncleRojelio](#): > > How much is “too much”? > > Asking for a friend. > > Need answer fast. Anything after you get your PLA rejection letter is considered excessive. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2017, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-chinese-are-too-fat-and-masturbate-too-much-to-pass-army-fitness-tests/794563/7 "2017-08-24T17:48:55Z")
That must be one hell of a test that it can detect excessive masturbation! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2017, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-chinese-are-too-fat-and-masturbate-too-much-to-pass-army-fitness-tests/794563/8 "2017-08-24T17:57:30Z")
I can just see some Chinese grandfather saying “Back in my day, you had to shoot yourself in the foot to avoid the draft.” ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2017, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-chinese-are-too-fat-and-masturbate-too-much-to-pass-army-fitness-tests/794563/9 "2017-08-24T18:13:29Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I can just see some Chinese grandfather saying “Back in my day, you had to shoot yourself in the foot to avoid the draft.” …but now it doesn’t matter _where_ you shoot it. ---
**Author:** ![74westy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/74westy/32/3950_2.png) [@74westy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/74westy)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2017, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-chinese-are-too-fat-and-masturbate-too-much-to-pass-army-fitness-tests/794563/10 "2017-08-24T18:48:16Z")
Thanks. Now every time I close my eyes I see thousands and thousands of fat, young Chinese guys masturbating. ---
**Author:** ![Driver8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5a626/32.png) [@Driver8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Driver8)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2017, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-chinese-are-too-fat-and-masturbate-too-much-to-pass-army-fitness-tests/794563/11 "2017-08-24T18:50:46Z")
> [@74westy](#): > > Thanks. Now every time I close my eyes I see thousands and thousands of fat, young Chinese guys masturbating. Could be worse. Could be every time you open your eyes. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2017, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-chinese-are-too-fat-and-masturbate-too-much-to-pass-army-fitness-tests/794563/12 "2017-08-24T19:17:03Z")
Never mind Wrong thread. I’m having trouble seeing my screen due to these huge testicular veins constantly in the way. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2017, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-chinese-are-too-fat-and-masturbate-too-much-to-pass-army-fitness-tests/794563/13 "2017-08-24T19:42:44Z")
4F From Five Finger Fap Frequently? ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2017, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-chinese-are-too-fat-and-masturbate-too-much-to-pass-army-fitness-tests/794563/14 "2017-08-24T20:03:19Z")
This seems like a super predictable outcome of a one-kid, prefer male offspring national reproductive strategy. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2017, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-chinese-are-too-fat-and-masturbate-too-much-to-pass-army-fitness-tests/794563/15 "2017-08-24T20:10:05Z")
> [@74westy](#): > > Thanks. Now every time I close my eyes I see thousands and thousands of fat, young Chinese guys masturbating. I think you are underestimating by several orders of magnitude. Did I make it better? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2017, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-chinese-are-too-fat-and-masturbate-too-much-to-pass-army-fitness-tests/794563/16 "2017-08-24T20:10:53Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > That must be one hell of a test that it can detect excessive masturbation! Test couldn’t be easier! The first step is to leave recruits alone in room with a computer and a box of Kleenex … ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2017, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-chinese-are-too-fat-and-masturbate-too-much-to-pass-army-fitness-tests/794563/17 "2017-08-24T20:13:29Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > I think you are underestimating by several orders of magnitude. > > Did I make it better? 😃 Could be worse - if they were accepted into the army, they’d learn to masturbate in formation. Left-right, left-right … ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2017, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-chinese-are-too-fat-and-masturbate-too-much-to-pass-army-fitness-tests/794563/18 "2017-08-24T20:14:50Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > Could be worse - if they were accepted into the army, they’d learn to masturbate in formation. Left-right, left-right … …Wait for iiiiiiiiit… ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2017, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-chinese-are-too-fat-and-masturbate-too-much-to-pass-army-fitness-tests/794563/19 "2017-08-24T20:25:37Z")
“Hup, 2,3,4”, _then_ "Attent-_shun!_? That is _not_ The Military Way. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2017, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-chinese-are-too-fat-and-masturbate-too-much-to-pass-army-fitness-tests/794563/20 "2017-08-24T21:03:35Z")
Thanks to this thread, I finally understand why last week’s blind date went so wrong. I knew it was going downhill when she muttered “well, I can see why you’re not in the Chinese Army…” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-chinese-are-too-fat-and-masturbate-too-much-to-pass-army-fitness-tests/794563.md?page=2)