# Young men and relationships

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-men-and-relationships/1014156>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [February 11, 2025, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-men-and-relationships/1014156 "2025-02-11T05:39:53Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Showing post:** 32

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**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\
**Post date:** [February 11, 2025, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-men-and-relationships/1014156/32 "2025-02-11T16:10:25Z")

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> [@Mijin](#):
>
> I would agree with that, but in 21st century america it’s toxic masculinity IMHO.

I don’t have much actual data, but that sure sounds right to me. From some middle-aged friends who’re into the gym culture, they tell me it seems like steroid use is nigh universal in everyone who lifts.

Which sure doesn’t improve their disposition vis-a-vis women. It just further bathes their brain in artificial “alphahood”.

  

> [@Odesio](#):
>
> Hasn’t this been an issue for Black women for many years now? I remember articles from years ago essentially saying the same thing about Black women. Compared to Black men, the women were more likely to have a college education, a higher income, and a different set of values, so these women were choosing not to marry rather than settle.

Agreed. A point I almost made upthread but decided to skip for brevity.

Here is a post of mine from 2020 that’s on-point:

> [@Sex Ratio question](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-ratio-question/918904/10):
>
> > [@Sex Ratio question](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sex-ratio-question/918904/9):
> >
> > There was an article too about black women in America. Significant numbers of young black males are incarcerated, that black women looking for a black partner have slim pickings - aggravated by the fact that the early 20’s males are most likely to be in jail. Worse yet are the prospects for educated black professional women.
> 
> Anecdote time.
> 
> I’m white, married, 60+, but in good shape with a youthful attitude. My dentist’s technical assistant / nurse person is black, not quite 40, well-spoken, & good looking. Over the years we’ve learned a bit about each other through chit-chat. She’s single, childless, looking for a guy, and deeply frustrated. We were discussing that one day and I said (and meant): “Were I single I’d gladly ask you out. As long as you could deal with having an old fogey for a BF.”
> 
> Her instant comment: “I’d gladly take you up on it; you beat the heck out of the garbagemen and ex-cons who respond to my Match profile.”
> 
> Ouch! I was at a loss for words at that one. She’s a capable and sweet person and is just one of millions in a similar boat. It paints a vivid and painful picture.

That entire thread is about sorta the same topic as this thread: desirable women outnumbering desirable men and the concomitant problem of undesirable leftover men.

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