# Young women and possessiveness over "Nerd/Geek" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 2, 2014, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-women-and-possessiveness-over-nerd-geek/680369 "2014-02-02T19:29:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2014, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-women-and-possessiveness-over-nerd-geek/680369/241 "2014-02-26T17:49:36Z")
Teacher perspective is very different than student. One thing that has become obvious to me on the other side of the desk is that many of the same “geeks” who feel they are unfairly ostracized for not being athletic or attractive are absolutely scathing about people who are less intelligent than they. And I don’t just mean they will make fun of the dumb jock, as a way to compensate. Everyone thinks it’s terrible to go through high school brilliant and awkward and ugly. But it’s AWFUL to go through school stupid and awkward and ugly. And just as there are kids on the positive extreme, there are kids on the negative. ---
**Author:** ![Deeg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/deeg/32/2955_2.png) [@Deeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Deeg)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2014, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-women-and-possessiveness-over-nerd-geek/680369/242 "2014-02-26T17:54:33Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Honestly, I sometimes wonder if some of these people were treated badly because they are horrible people. Absolutely. Geeks as a group are no less horrible than jocks or beauty queens or band members. Anybody who immediately believes that an attractive woman can’t be a geek is already showing themselves to be lacking. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2014, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-women-and-possessiveness-over-nerd-geek/680369/243 "2014-02-26T17:57:57Z")
> [@Deeg](#): > > I’m going to agree with Jophiel that attractive girls (and likewise, athletic boys) don’t suffer _for their geekiness_ in HS as much as the unattractive/nonathletic boys. But then girls (attractive or not) have to deal with a whole different problem that boy geeks generally don’t have: sexual harassment. Yeah, I’m not saying that any given person doesn’t have their own issues to deal with. Just that an attractive girl will probably have it easier finding some form of acceptance than an unattractive guy in high school (assuming both share the pursuits). Granted that acceptance might come with its own issues since guys are mainly wanting to get into your pants, etc but the perspective of the unattractive guy is probably still “Insincere acceptance \> Milk thrown at your head” I agree though that quantifying and trying to directly compare it all is pointless. I guess my main point before was just that I don’t remember any pretty girls from high school who didn’t fit in somewhere. Maybe they weren’t all cheerleaders but they had their circles with the skaters or art/drama people or goths or something. I can’t speak for whatever fulfillment they were lacking in their hearts but the only girls fully on the outside were unattractive. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2014, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-women-and-possessiveness-over-nerd-geek/680369/244 "2014-02-26T18:00:12Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > Only speaking for my own observations but the cute drama girl was still plenty popular among the drama students. The cute goth girl still got plenty of attention and smoked cigarettes behind the bleachers and called the sci-fi nerds weirdo losers. The pretty girl who was into art still had it much better than the pimply dweeb who drew wizards and dragons in his notebook. Maybe they all had their personal trials and lamented how the cheerleaders didn’t talk to them or how Rich Preppy Guy didn’t notice them but there’s not many situations in high school where being an attractive female wasn’t a benefit over being unattractive. But you can’t look at a grown adult and guess what kind of teenager they were. I look nothing like I did as a teenager. In some ways, I’m much “cuter” now than I was back then because I have more self-confidence and a sense of style. I also have the disposable income to wear “nicer” clothes. I also don’t have the glasses, braces, or acne like I did twenty years ago. I’m sure after 30 minutes of knowing me, most people would be able to guess that I was geeky kid. But you wouldn’t be able to guess if you just saw me standing around in a convention. Anyway, even when I was an ugly teenager, I was attractive enough to boys. But being visually attractive doesn’t tell you anything about personality. Guys would flirt with me until I opened up my mouth and tried talked to them about “stuff”. Then they’d back away from me, screaming, “YOURE A WEIRDO!! OMG!!” That was a load of fun. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2014, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-women-and-possessiveness-over-nerd-geek/680369/245 "2014-02-26T18:12:39Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > I agree though that quantifying and trying to directly compare it all is pointless. I guess my main point before was just that I don’t remember any pretty girls from high school who didn’t fit in somewhere. Maybe they weren’t all cheerleaders but they had their circles with the skaters or art/drama people or goths or something. I can’t speak for whatever fulfillment they were lacking in their hearts but the only girls fully on the outside were unattractive. I will tell you that from my point of view, being popular makes a girl pretty at least as much as being pretty makes a girl popular. There is an objective component in attractiveness, of course, but if Suzie has been one of the popular clique since 3rd grade, everyone will see her as pretty even if she’s average at best: likewise, if Suzie has been the weird girl since 3rd grade, people will still be “Ugh, gross” even if she’s solidly attractive by high school. ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2014, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-women-and-possessiveness-over-nerd-geek/680369/246 "2014-02-26T18:31:52Z")
> [@MandaJo](#): > > I will tell you that from my point of view, being popular makes a girl pretty at least as much as being pretty makes a girl popular. There is an objective component in attractiveness, of course, but if Suzie has been one of the popular clique since 3rd grade, everyone will see her as pretty even if she’s average at best: likewise, if Suzie has been the weird girl since 3rd grade, people will still be “Ugh, gross” even if she’s solidly attractive by high school. +1 on this. On top of that, the way a girl dresses, wears makeup, projects confidence, all plays into it. Just like with adults, it’s not always about a great set of physical attributes. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2014, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-women-and-possessiveness-over-nerd-geek/680369/247 "2014-02-26T18:39:56Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > But you can’t look at a grown adult and guess what kind of teenager they were. No argument. I was just responding to **Dangerosa** ’s comments about cute girls in drama being shunned by cheerleaders, etc. > [@MandaJo](#): > > if Suzie has been one of the popular clique since 3rd grade, everyone will see her as pretty even if she’s average at best: likewise, if Suzie has been the weird girl since 3rd grade, people will still be “Ugh, gross” even if she’s solidly attractive by high school. I remember there being more of a seismic shift between elementary and middle school and again into high school. But I disagree with the second part – I could go through my old yearbook and still give a pretty good idea where folks placed in “high school society” and I don’t think you’d find any pretty girls where I said they were pariahs. I’m a sample size of one though; maybe your school had pretty girls who picked their nose in the hallways and smelled like milk behind the radiator. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2014, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-women-and-possessiveness-over-nerd-geek/680369/248 "2014-02-26T19:28:04Z")
Today’s [Dork Tower](http://www.dorktower.com/2014/02/26/sick-burrrrrrrn-dork-tower-26-02-14/)is relevant to this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Macca26](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/13edae/32.png) [@Macca26](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macca26)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2014, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-women-and-possessiveness-over-nerd-geek/680369/249 "2014-02-26T19:44:22Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > I disagree: the people using it think it’s nonsense, too. > > Wait, no: you’re right, obviously they don’t. Why is this something worth saying, again? > Sure. But it’s an othering term that: > > 1. Isn’t solely used against jerkish people; and > 2. Is almost entirely used against women. > > You’ve seemed to defend it on grounds that ignore both points. > I totally agree that cosplayers are geeks. Someone who writes captions about how someone dresses up as stupid shows nobody cares about? Probably also a geek, if they recognize the shows. A terrible, terrible human being if that’s how they get their jollies, but geekish nonetheless. Note how I criticize them without making it about their geekishness, because their geekishness IS NOT THE POINT. What I’m trying to get at is the OP asked the question, “why the heck do some people really get up in arms about ‘fake geeks’?” To continue belaboring the point that it doesn’t make sense that they’re being jerks and using illogical terms such as “fake geek” to me means you’ve missed the point of the answer. Q: Why are some people jerks and yell mean things like “fake geek”? A: Because they are emotional, insecure, fallible human beings. Question answered. They’re human, they do stupid jerkish things based on emotions, that’s what humans do. To sit there going “but that’s stupid!” misses the point. Nobody here disagrees that it’s a stupid and jerkish thing to call somebody a “fake geek”, so if your plan is to point out to them how stupid they’re being and change their response, go. Go out and spread the word to places where these people actually are. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2014, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-women-and-possessiveness-over-nerd-geek/680369/250 "2014-02-26T21:40:54Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > From my conversations with my friends who are into the nerd/geek subculture\*, it seems the “We had to put up with years of shit from people who didnt understand us or made fun of us, and people think they can just co-opt parts of our culture because it’s a bit cool now???” thing has a lot to do with it. (They direct this dislike at anyone being a “fake geek”, male or female, though). > … > I’ve seen a few accusations of misogny thrown around in the thread but I would suggest it’s not so much that as partly a concern at yet another Man Thing being turned into “chick stuff”. Whether or not that’s a valid concern is probably a separate issue but I will note there’s not a huge number of “places” guys can occupy with other guys to talk about Guy Stuff. I suspect for a lot of the people railing against “fake geek girls”, it’s about possibly seeing their interest/hobby compromised to make way for the (perceived) sensibilities of a bunch of strange girls\*\* who will probably try and make everything pink and sparkly or something. This “explanation” aggravates me so much (not you specifically, **Martini** , but this argument I’ve heard a million times before). Geeky stuff is NOT “Man Stuff”. It’s _never BEEN_ “Man Stuff”. The only reason geek guys think it’s Man Stuff is that they’ve intentionally ostracized, excluded and mocked geek girls their entire goddamned geek lives! If you’re openly hostile and rejecting of any girl or woman who has shared interests, no fucking shit you aren’t going to see geek girls around: you’ve made it clear they aren’t welcome here, so they go somewhere else (like hanging out with fellow geek girls, like my high school group did\*). - Although I had avoided this shit back in high school because I went to an all-girls school. REALLY made for an unpleasant surprise when I went to an engineering-dominant university that was super nerdy and (excluding the architecture students, because they literally spent 98% of their time in only the architecture building) had a male:female ratio of about 7:1. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2014, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-women-and-possessiveness-over-nerd-geek/680369/251 "2014-02-26T23:34:59Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > This “explanation” aggravates me so much (not you specifically, **Martini** , but this argument I’ve heard a million times before). > > Geeky stuff is NOT “Man Stuff”. It’s _never BEEN_ “Man Stuff”. The only reason geek guys think it’s Man Stuff is that they’ve intentionally ostracized, excluded and mocked geek girls their entire goddamned geek lives! Going back to my high school days, the number of females in our area interested in the “geek” stuff my friends and I were into was… zero. Obviously I can’t speak for every geek/nerd in all of New Zealand, but my friends and I would have _loved_ women to be interested in what we were doing. But they weren’t, alas. From our perspective, Dungeons and Dragons etc _was_ guy stuff because women weren’t interested in it, just as make-up and fashion were “chick stuff” because (straight) guys weren’t interested in it (This was New Zealand in the 1990s, by the way). Anyway, as we got older it basically had to be a choice between “Geeky Stuff” and “Having a Life Which Involved Interacting With Women” (as a senior high school student in the late '90s, that was how it worked, basically) I and my best mate went with the latter and went on to get girlfriends and jobs, get married and live in our own places etc, which meant we didn’t have time for the Geeky Stuff as much anymore, event though we still retained a fondness for it. Although I’ve drifted out of touch with most of the people I went to high school with, there’s at least one about whom I would be surprised to find out that he _doesn’t_ have a neckbeard, is still living with his parents and otherwise embodying a significant number of traits emboded by The Comic Book Guy on _The Simpsons_. I can also see him paradoxally raging against “fake” geek girls impurifying his beloved geekdom with their feelings and lady things with frilly bits and shit\*\*, whilst at the same time lamenting how he can’t meet women. I’d be interested to hear what non-geeky females thought/think about female geeks at some point too. I know this board skews slightly geeky/nerdy because it involves computers and the internet etc, but while the perceptions of male nerds by other guys is well documented, we don’t hear about how things are for women who love geeky stuff around women who don’t. A _Little Britain_ reference, because I seem to inhabit this bizarre alternate universe where hardly anyone no-one else has seen the same TV programmes as me ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2014, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-women-and-possessiveness-over-nerd-geek/680369/252 "2014-02-27T00:41:07Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > This “explanation” aggravates me so much (not you specifically, **Martini** , but this argument I’ve heard a million times before). > > Geeky stuff is NOT “Man Stuff”. It’s _never BEEN_ “Man Stuff”. The only reason geek guys think it’s Man Stuff is that they’ve intentionally ostracized, excluded and mocked geek girls their entire goddamned geek lives! Is there any field of interest that you’d call “man stuff?” Because while I agree that there should be no litmus test for geekdom, no quizzing to ensure that convention attendees know each Green Lantern or which planets have pod races (yes, of COURSE Tatooine – where ELSE?) I don’t agree that the discussion should insist on pretending that these genres are equally attractive to both men and women. The fact of the matter is that more guys are drawn to these genres. I suppose you might argue that this is itself an expression of cultural bias, et cetera et cetera, but that’s beyond the ken of this observation. More women are drawn to shoe shopping. More men are drawn to football. More women are drawn to the romance novel genre. That’s not to say that all football fans are men, all shoe shoppers are women, and all fans of Danielle Steele are women – but the plain fact is that measurably, predictably, more women read Danielle Steele than men do. I hope no one will insist we ignore that. ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2014, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-women-and-possessiveness-over-nerd-geek/680369/253 "2014-02-27T00:58:32Z")
Maybe she is mainly objecting to it be labelled as “guy stuff” despite whatever the demographics say, since there’s nothing intrinsically male or female about geek culture. It’d be like labeling going to prison as “black people stuff” because of what the demographics say. Personally I don’t have a [big] problem with girls “femming” it up as long as they don’t touch the source material. As an analogy, going back to my misogynist/biased view on football fandom, I don’t have a problem with the NFL selling female-cut jerseys or even wearing pink gloves for breast cancer awareness as long as the game itself isn’t being altered specifically to align itself with more feminine sensibilities. Just the same, I don’t mind fanfic, cosplay, or whatever as long as I’m free to enjoy the source material on my terms. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2014, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-women-and-possessiveness-over-nerd-geek/680369/254 "2014-02-27T01:09:35Z")
> [@pancakes3](#): > > Maybe she is mainly objecting to it be labelled as “guy stuff” despite whatever the demographics say, since there’s nothing intrinsically male or female about geek culture. Sure – but if that’s the standard, then it’s a short list. Tampons are girl stuff, and a prostate-specific antigen test is guy stuff, but that’s about the scope of it, yes? ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2014, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-women-and-possessiveness-over-nerd-geek/680369/255 "2014-02-27T01:24:34Z")
Pretty much. I’m sure that using biological restrictions as the delineation serve as the standard for most feminists. Even biological proclivities: body hair, muscle mass, and voice registers can be argued. I thought this was what you had in mind when you invoked law-geek-law. We’re establishing and challenging premises to the point where arguments get whittled down to a compact, airtight definition! ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2014, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-women-and-possessiveness-over-nerd-geek/680369/256 "2014-02-27T01:30:32Z")
> [@pancakes3](#): > > Pretty much. I’m sure that using biological restrictions as the delineation serve as the standard for most feminists. Even biological proclivities: body hair, muscle mass, and voice registers can be argued. I thought this was what you had in mind when you invoked law-geek-law. We’re establishing and challenging premises to the point where arguments get whittled down to a compact, airtight definition! And I’m fine with that. I don’t know that it’s a particularly useful definition, though. I think it’s more useful for businesses, especially, to be cognizant of demographic appeal. But in terms of solid, defensible, bright-line standards, I agree you’ve drawn the only possible line. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2014, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-women-and-possessiveness-over-nerd-geek/680369/257 "2014-02-27T03:09:36Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > And I’m fine with that. > > I don’t know that it’s a particularly useful definition, though. I think it’s more useful for businesses, especially, to be cognizant of demographic appeal. But in terms of solid, defensible, bright-line standards, I agree you’ve drawn the only possible line. I’d go further and say that any other bright line is destructive. It serves no good purpose. As I’ve said, I often am interested in things that are stereotypically girlish. As a teenager, I was an avid baker who wore his hair long and who read all the time and liked to putter in the vegetable garden. Now I teach in an elementary school. Where my interests are gendered, they’re very often gendered female. (I also play violent computer games and Dungeons and Dragons, so I’m not claiming any sort of cross-gender purity here). It bugs the shit out of me on the very rare occasions when women have wanted to exclude me based on my gender. So yeah: when women sit around discussing their physical changes during pregnancy, I smile vaguely and fade out of the conversation a bit, because I don’t really have anything interesting to contribute to the conversation. But failing that, I expect women to respect my presence in conversations about my interests, even when it’s stereotyped against me. Likewise, no matter how skewed the D&D demographic is toward men, I’d be a total schmuck to suggest that it’s a guy’s hobby in any prescriptive fashion. Come to think of it, maybe that’s the issue: when something is described as a guy’s hobby, is the description prescriptivist or descriptivist? If the latter, it’s a matter that may be settled with objective fact. If the former, what a tool. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2014, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-women-and-possessiveness-over-nerd-geek/680369/258 "2014-02-27T21:21:01Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > So yeah: when women sit around discussing their physical changes during pregnancy, I smile vaguely and fade out of the conversation a bit, because I don’t really have anything interesting to contribute to the conversation. But failing that, I expect women to respect my presence in conversations about my interests, even when it’s stereotyped against me. Neither do my female friends who have been child free or only have adopted children. They sort of fade out when the conversation turns to “blood clots you passed following delivery.” ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2014, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-women-and-possessiveness-over-nerd-geek/680369/259 "2014-03-01T01:47:20Z")
Which is fine, because there are these rare HIGHLY SPECIFIC things that really are bounded by sex (and as you point out sometimes even more restrictive than that). Gaming? Not in the same category. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2014, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-women-and-possessiveness-over-nerd-geek/680369/260 "2014-03-01T03:02:08Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Which is fine, because there are these rare HIGHLY SPECIFIC things that really are bounded by sex (and as you point out sometimes even more restrictive than that). Gaming? Not in the same category. This is true, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to acknowledge Gaming (as opposed to casual/Facebook games) is a predominantly male hobby whilst (for example) baking cutesy cupcakes etc is predominantly a female hobby. There’s nothing inherently stopping a woman from getting right into gaming (and many do), just as there’s nothing stopping a man from making cute Pinterest-worthy cupcakes (and I’m sure some do). But people are going to cock their eyebrows at a heterosexual guy who enjoys making OMG Cupcakes! that look like Cookie Monster, just as they’re going to look askance at a heterosexual woman (especially if she’s attractive) who is really into the _Total War_ series. Windmills, in the vast majority of people’s experiences, do not generally work that way. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-women-and-possessiveness-over-nerd-geek/680369.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/young-women-and-possessiveness-over-nerd-geek/680369.md?page=14)