# Your attempts at witty lines that bombed **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 22, 2012, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-attempts-at-witty-lines-that-bombed/632250 "2012-08-22T04:24:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-attempts-at-witty-lines-that-bombed/632250/61 "2012-08-28T04:10:42Z")
Once long ago I had to send a message to someone fairly important here in Thailand. We weren’t quite friends but were certainly more than casual acquaintances. Since the message was sent on July 14, I added at the end: “Happy Bastille Day!” Unfortunately, I had not learned yet at that time that Thais generally have no sense of irony, and their sense of humor is pretty much limited to the slapstick. He got all hot and bothered, thinking I was suggesting he was a tyrant who needed taking down. Despite my explanation, he never got over that. ---
**Author:** ![Any\_Other\_Name](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f17d59/32.png) [@Any\_Other\_Name](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Any_Other_Name)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-attempts-at-witty-lines-that-bombed/632250/62 "2012-08-28T05:23:54Z")
> [@MyMack\_1](#): > > I don’t get it. It flew right over my head and just kept on sailing. Ha Ha sorry but it is Midnight. Maybe I’ll get in the morning! 😛 Mel Brooks in Spaceballs. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-attempts-at-witty-lines-that-bombed/632250/63 "2012-08-28T22:36:53Z")
Me, trying to get a friend who seems hesitant to sign a petition: Come on, it’s not like we’re asking for your first born son. THEN I remember her first born son was the victim of a murder/suicide by his father. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-attempts-at-witty-lines-that-bombed/632250/64 "2012-08-28T23:20:43Z")
I was rather proud of my retort in [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=453451), but no takers. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Great\_Cornholio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ed8c4c/32.png) [@The\_Great\_Cornholio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Cornholio)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-attempts-at-witty-lines-that-bombed/632250/65 "2012-08-28T23:31:20Z")
I work in Pro-Audio and I was picking up some equipment from a wholesaler. I needed a cassette player, the rep suggested a certain model and I looked at the spec. “Yep, this will be fine, I’ll take one please. Brilliant, it’s even got DOBLY!” Silence. Tumbleweed blows through room. “Erm, OK, I’ll add one to the order. And it’s Dolby.” “Yeah, but it sounds better in Dobly, dunnit?” (said in Nigel Tuffnel voice) “Erm, OK. Dolby” And that was that. Eighteen years later, I still cringe that I chose a person who deals with pro musicians day in and day out, yet misses completely a Spinal Tap gag. Worse than that, I didn’t try to explain it to him, I just walked out, leaving him under the impression I think Dolby is DOBLY. ---
**Author:** ![AaronX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7bcc69/32.png) [@AaronX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AaronX)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2012, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-attempts-at-witty-lines-that-bombed/632250/66 "2012-08-30T01:35:25Z")
“That’s my secret, Captain - I’m always angsty.” -The Incredible Sulk ---
**Author:** ![MyMack\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MyMack\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyMack_1)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-attempts-at-witty-lines-that-bombed/632250/67 "2012-08-31T03:22:02Z")
> [@Any\_Other\_Name](#): > > Mel Brooks in Spaceballs. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Springtime_for_Spacers)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-attempts-at-witty-lines-that-bombed/632250/68 "2012-08-31T03:49:04Z")
Two things of note: I went to an all girls school, so I wasn’t au fait with young men’s insecurities and I find it hard to resist a straight line. A couple of weeks into uni and this guy made a feeble quip (probably much like some of the ones in this thread) and followed up with “That’s just my little joke” “I bet it is a little joke!” I zinged back. Well I wasn’t to know he had a rather small penis… ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-attempts-at-witty-lines-that-bombed/632250/69 "2012-08-31T12:54:40Z")
> [@Wargamer](#): > > Two co-workers who were marries to each other and I were in the snack room one day discussing an upcoming basketball game between UNC and Duke (bitter rivals). I’m a UNC grad and he was a Duke fan. Assuming she would be a Duke fan also, I made some comment about whether she would be pulling for Duke, and she said no, that she went to UNC as well. > > So, feeling witty, I said, ‘Ah so you two are in a mixed marriage then?’ About two seconds before it registered on me that in fact, he was black and she was white. Fortunately, they were more amused at my faux pas than offended. Yeah, but in RTP, a Blue Devil/Tarheel marriage is more mixed (and certainly less likely) than black/white. I don’t know how my dad, a tarheel, ever got over the fact that Duke hospital saved his life. ---
**Author:** ![Cold\_April](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Cold\_April](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cold_April)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-attempts-at-witty-lines-that-bombed/632250/70 "2012-08-31T23:22:28Z")
A formal meeting at the school I used to work at, discussing speakers for an event. Someone mentioned they had managed to line up a marine to speak to the kids. Someone asks ‘Oh, where did you get him?’ I say, in suggestive, nudge-nudge wink-wink tones ‘Yeah, where DO you get a marine from?’ Horrified silence. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2012, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-attempts-at-witty-lines-that-bombed/632250/71 "2012-09-06T19:58:30Z")
When actor Terrence Mann originated the role of Chauvelin in the Frank Wildhorn musical The Scarlet Pimpernel, I went around proclaiming “Terrence Mann finally gets to play one.” Very few people figured it out. Mann’s previous roles had been Rum Tug Tugger and The Beast of Beauty &. He was finally playing _a man_. ---
**Author:** ![Questioning\_Zion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/58956e/32.png) [@Questioning\_Zion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Questioning_Zion)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2012, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-attempts-at-witty-lines-that-bombed/632250/72 "2012-09-09T22:18:49Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > One time I was drunk in a bar chatting w/ a fellow that was part of a group tour we were on. So we knew him, but not well. We did know he was Jewish as this was on Rosh Hashanah and we had all been discussing the holiday. My wife is Jewish but I am not. > > I don’t remember how it led up to it, but I was trying to make a point about how I always seem to put my foot in my mouth w/ my jokes. So I mocked myself by saying “Hey, did you hear the one about the HOLOCAUST?” > > The guy didn’t really get the angle I was going for and thought I was actually making light of the Holocaust, even though I was really pointing out how terrible I am at making jokes. Seems I proved my point rather well, I guess (though I still don’t think he should have gotten as angry at me as he did). Only Jews can make fun of the 'caust. And her name is Sara Silverman. ---
**Author:** ![Questioning\_Zion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/58956e/32.png) [@Questioning\_Zion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Questioning_Zion)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2012, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-attempts-at-witty-lines-that-bombed/632250/73 "2012-09-09T22:21:06Z")
> [@The\_Great\_Cornholio](#): > > I work in Pro-Audio and I was picking up some equipment from a wholesaler. I needed a cassette player, the rep suggested a certain model and I looked at the spec. > > “Yep, this will be fine, I’ll take one please. Brilliant, it’s even got DOBLY!” > > Silence. Tumbleweed blows through room. > > “Erm, OK, I’ll add one to the order. And it’s Dolby.” > > “Yeah, but it sounds better in Dobly, dunnit?” (said in Nigel Tuffnel voice) > > “Erm, OK. Dolby” > > And that was that. Eighteen years later, I still cringe that I chose a person who deals with pro musicians day in and day out, yet misses completely a Spinal Tap gag. Worse than that, I didn’t try to explain it to him, I just walked out, leaving him under the impression I think Dolby is DOBLY. I often reference things being able to “go to 11”. Nada. Cue the crickets… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-attempts-at-witty-lines-that-bombed/632250.md?page=3)