# Your Boyfriend Shoots You In the Stomach, So What Do You Do? Agree to Marry Him! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 21, 2004, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-boyfriend-shoots-you-in-the-stomach-so-what-do-you-do-agree-to-marry-him/281072 "2004-12-21T23:18:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-boyfriend-shoots-you-in-the-stomach-so-what-do-you-do-agree-to-marry-him/281072/1 "2004-12-21T23:18:50Z")
You stupid, stupid git!! A young woman in my city was having trouble driving her boyfriend’s Hummer and flattened two tires. His response was to haul her out of the car, swear at her, then shoot her in the stomach. She stumbled into the CoGos where this happened saying, “Please help me, sir. I don’t want to die.” Since this happened, she has gotten engaged to the man who shot her. Here’s a [link to the full story.](http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/04356/430037.stm) Sorry, lass. I hate to break it to you, but the way you’re going, you _are_ going to die, and not of old age. He made you get out of the car, berated you, and shot you. This is not a good man. This is a man, who, in my opinion, should have “Do Not Date” tattoed on his forehead in large prominent letters. It would also suit my sense of justice if that Hummer he’s driving is the last one he ever gets. He’s pleaded guilty to the charges and will be going to jail for up to 17 years. From what I’ve read, this isn’t likely to improve his disposition. From what I’ve read of such men, he’s probably already blaming you for it, although I must admit there is some reason for that. He shot you! He pulled out a gun and shot you! You’ve already been terrified you’re going to die because of that. Are you really so desperate and lonely you’re willing to have that happen again?! It can’t be that he’s wonderful. Call me picky, but if a man shoots me or any girlfriend of his during an altercation, not matter how great the provocation, he doesn’t qualify as “wonderful” in my book. Pond scum’s more like it, but pond scum serves a useful purpose. I’m sorry, but if a man physically abuses you in any way, and shooting certainly qualifies as abusing you, you don’t marry him. Instead, you put him far out of your life until and unless he learns to control his temper. Oh yes, a word to you, young idiot who’s to quick with a gun and your temper. You had something going for you. You’re apparently a talented boxer, “a former International Boxing Federation lightweight champion”. You could have had fame and respect. Instead, you’re just another punk kid with more brawn than brains. You’ve thrown away a shot at a dream a bunch of other people would love to have a chance at. You could have had the city at your feet. (OK, maybe not in a year when the Steelers have a shot at the Super Bowl.) Instead, you are going to jail. Instead, a bunch of people like me, who think it might have been cool to have a boxing champion from Pittsburgh are only going to look at you with contempt. I meant it when I said may that precious Hummer of yours be the last one you get. You tried to kill a woman you presumably love. She deserves better than that. The lowest wretch on this planet deserves better than that, even you. I understand being angry and maybe even, dare I say it, a bit scared. I know the bridge this happened on. I understand being so furious you can’t see straight. That does not and will never in my book excuse pulling out a gun and shooting anyone, whether you love them or not. Sorry, lad, you’re too stupid to date. Lass, please, do yourself a favor, break the engagement, and leave this guy in the long forgotten past. Better a broken heart than broken bones, and you may be lucky to get off with only broken bones. Do you really want to risk your life on the possibility of him changing? That’s what you’re doing now. I’m a news junkie, addicted to my morning paper. I’ve been known to buy it at the CoGos you stumbled into, bleeding and terrified you’d die. I don’t want to read about your death at this guy’s hands. And now, if you’ll excuse me, one of the nice guys in this city is due here soon. We’re getting together with a bunch of other nice people, people for whom deliberately hurting someone you love is unthinkable and shooting them goes against everything they know. I’d like to introduce you to them. As I said, you can do better. With deep regret, CJ ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-boyfriend-shoots-you-in-the-stomach-so-what-do-you-do-agree-to-marry-him/281072/2 "2004-12-21T23:33:57Z")
“But… he _completes_ me! Two more holes and I’ll be a bowling ball!” ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-boyfriend-shoots-you-in-the-stomach-so-what-do-you-do-agree-to-marry-him/281072/3 "2004-12-21T23:35:22Z")
But she LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVES him!! And she would fight you tooth and nail if you ever tried to “rescue” her from him. Some people won’t _let_ you save them. Doesn’t make me any less white-hot infuriated when some insecure asshole can manage to convince a nice young woman that every horrible, humiliating, injury he gives her is her own fault. Grrrr… ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-boyfriend-shoots-you-in-the-stomach-so-what-do-you-do-agree-to-marry-him/281072/4 "2004-12-21T23:38:30Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > “But… he _completes_ me! Two more holes and I’ll be a bowling ball!” I thought women already _have_ three holes. :: d&r :: ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-boyfriend-shoots-you-in-the-stomach-so-what-do-you-do-agree-to-marry-him/281072/5 "2004-12-21T23:55:11Z")
> [@Siege](#): > > I’m sorry, but if a man physically abuses you in any way, and shooting certainly qualifies as abusing you, you don’t marry him. Sure you do! AND you have his child, too (as she did)! ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-boyfriend-shoots-you-in-the-stomach-so-what-do-you-do-agree-to-marry-him/281072/6 "2004-12-22T00:22:16Z")
She’s…ill. Very ill. It’s probably given the offal a big advantage in keeping her with him. Abusers pick out “weak” seeming partners, and those who are mentally ill (whether bi-polar, or depression or something else) aren’t able to make good decisions, so will just go by what the abuser says. They will use this against their partner “You’re crazy, so what you’re saying isn’t true, so just do what I say.” Not only is she beat down emotionally and spiritually, but she’s mentally ill in some way, and likely has no medical care for it, so no hope. Look at her face, she knows he’ll kill her, but can’t see any other option. It makes me sick. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![treis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-boyfriend-shoots-you-in-the-stomach-so-what-do-you-do-agree-to-marry-him/281072/7 "2004-12-22T01:02:27Z")
Look at it this way: Hes gone for the next 17 years if she marries him everything he has is hers. If she doesn’t she goes through a messy civil suit to possibly get some money from him. Just sayin is all. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-boyfriend-shoots-you-in-the-stomach-so-what-do-you-do-agree-to-marry-him/281072/8 "2004-12-22T02:39:44Z")
That’s not how a shotgun wedding’s supposed to work! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-boyfriend-shoots-you-in-the-stomach-so-what-do-you-do-agree-to-marry-him/281072/9 "2004-12-22T03:05:56Z")
> [@treis](#): > > Look at it this way: Hes gone for the next 17 years if she marries him everything he has is hers. If she doesn’t she goes through a messy civil suit to possibly get some money from him. Just sayin is all. Yep. That and he’ll be in jail for the first years of their marriage, so it may not last. ---
**Author:** ![35340](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/8baadc/32.png) [@35340](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/35340)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-boyfriend-shoots-you-in-the-stomach-so-what-do-you-do-agree-to-marry-him/281072/10 "2004-12-22T04:04:43Z")
> [@UrbanChic](#): > > That’s not how a shotgun wedding’s supposed to work! ahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa! ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-boyfriend-shoots-you-in-the-stomach-so-what-do-you-do-agree-to-marry-him/281072/11 "2004-12-22T06:55:24Z")
> [@Zabali\_Clawbane](#): > > Abusers pick out “weak” seeming partners, and those who are mentally ill (whether bi-polar, or depression or something else) aren’t able to make good decisions, so will just go by what the abuser says. I get what you’re really trying to say here, _but_… There are a lot of mentally ill people out there who _are_ strong and who _can_ make good decisions. Not everyone with a mental illness is so incapacitated by it that they are unable to care properly for themselves. That said, you’re right in that mentally ill people who are seriously compromised by their illnesses are the favorite prey of abusers, con men, and other scum. ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-boyfriend-shoots-you-in-the-stomach-so-what-do-you-do-agree-to-marry-him/281072/12 "2004-12-22T06:57:41Z")
But seriously now… I wish my boyfriend loved me enough to shoot _me_. She’s so lucky to have a guy who can show how much he cares. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-boyfriend-shoots-you-in-the-stomach-so-what-do-you-do-agree-to-marry-him/281072/13 "2004-12-22T07:08:12Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > I thought women already _have_ three holes. No, women have 12 bodily openings (and a 13th that closes soon after birth). 2 ears 2 eyes 2 nostrils 1 moutn 2 breast nipples 1 navel (normally closed) 1 urethra 1 vagina 1 anus Men have the same, except that the breast nipples are non-functional in most men. ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-boyfriend-shoots-you-in-the-stomach-so-what-do-you-do-agree-to-marry-him/281072/14 "2004-12-22T08:48:19Z")
A tangent, but has anyone heard Ashlee Simpson’s song “[La La](http://www.seeklyrics.com/lyrics/Ashlee-Simpson/La-La.html)”? It’s the same mindset the woman in the linked story displays. Here is the first phrase of the song, which is linked in this post. > [@](#): > > You can dress me up diamonds > You can dress me up in dirt > You can throw me like a line-man > I like it better when it hurts [Here](http://launch.yahoo.com/ar-304318---Ashlee-Simpson) is a link to her Launch page, which has the video. ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-boyfriend-shoots-you-in-the-stomach-so-what-do-you-do-agree-to-marry-him/281072/15 "2004-12-22T08:53:42Z")
> [@Q.N. Jones](#): > > There are a lot of mentally ill people out there who _are_ strong and who _can_ make good decisions. Not everyone with a mental illness is so incapacitated by it that they are unable to care properly for themselves. Aye, lots of people who are in abusive relationships do get out of them, I did. It is some of the dynamics involved, the abusive person wants someone to dominate, and if that someone starts out the relationship unsure of themselves because they are either young and have low self esteem, or because they are say, bi-polar, than it makes their “work” easier. It isn’t the fault of the person being abused, and many who are briefly snared do find the strength to get away. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-boyfriend-shoots-you-in-the-stomach-so-what-do-you-do-agree-to-marry-him/281072/16 "2004-12-22T09:25:48Z")
> [@Q.N. Jones](#): > > But seriously now… > > I wish my boyfriend loved me enough to shoot _me_. Seriously. What does that silly-assed cherub Cupid know about piercing people with projectile missiles? The puny potential energy of elastic solids? Please. You start with the explosive potential of chemical energy, and then _gutshoot_ the bitch. I mean, why settle for merely _smitten_ when you can get right down to some serious smiting? Bleargh. 'Scuze me, time to go purge. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-boyfriend-shoots-you-in-the-stomach-so-what-do-you-do-agree-to-marry-him/281072/17 "2004-12-22T13:39:56Z")
nitpick: > [@t-bonham@scc.net](#): > > No, women have 12 bodily openings (and a 13th that closes soon after birth). > […] > Men have the same, except that the breast nipples are non-functional in most men. I dunno about you, but most guys I’ve men most definitely do NOT have one of these orifices. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-boyfriend-shoots-you-in-the-stomach-so-what-do-you-do-agree-to-marry-him/281072/18 "2004-12-22T14:01:20Z")
Dear God. I thought **Phlosphr’s** co-worker had [popped up](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=290544) again. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-boyfriend-shoots-you-in-the-stomach-so-what-do-you-do-agree-to-marry-him/281072/19 "2004-12-22T14:10:35Z")
Well, he walked up to me and he asked me if I wanted to die. He looked kinda nice and so I said I might wanna try. When he cocked his forty-five, I never felt so in love and alive The gold in his teeth was shining bright And then he shot me He shot me in a place that I’ve never been shot before, Then he socked me in the jaw and said I was dirty old whore I knew that he was mine when he took all I had in my purse And that night he took me out to meet a doctor and nurse. Then he asked me to be his bride And always be right by his side. I felt so gut-shot I almost died Because he shot me. ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-boyfriend-shoots-you-in-the-stomach-so-what-do-you-do-agree-to-marry-him/281072/20 "2004-12-22T15:09:09Z")
HAHAHAHAHA!! Oh, Eve, that is the best laugh I’ve had in ages! Thank you! 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-boyfriend-shoots-you-in-the-stomach-so-what-do-you-do-agree-to-marry-him/281072.md?page=2)