# Your chance to change history! (pick a battle hypothetical) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 30, 2018, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-chance-to-change-history-pick-a-battle-hypothetical/807834 "2018-01-30T21:18:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-chance-to-change-history-pick-a-battle-hypothetical/807834/1 "2018-01-30T21:18:33Z")
So it turns out that you’re Marty McFly to a new Doc Brown style acquaintance. Though unlike the good doctor this time-traveling mad inventor has no qualms about changing history, though he does have a very twisted sense of humour. For reasons of plot you are going to be sent back to an historical era of your choice to try to turn the tide of whatever battle you decide. You will appear on whatever battlefield you choose on the side of your choice and in a random location in your ‘allied’ lines with whatever weapons and equipment you can personally carry _(sorry, no De Lorean, you just appear and disappear without fuss, someone would need to be looking at your location to see you arrive)_ after 24 hours elapse you will be automatically brought back to the present, hopefully alive and in one piece, all equipment, even if no longer in your possession will also be returned. So what historic battle would you like to change, and how would you go about it? 🙂 A to Z as people tend to skip blocks of text (A) Choose an historic battle to be transported to, when you arrive it will just be about to commence or will be in progress (B) Choose whatever weapons and equipment you want to take with you (C) You will arrive at a random location on your chosen side of your chosen battle, ie for something like the Battle of Hastings its fairly self-contained, the Battle of the Bulge is much more sprawling (D) After 24 hours you and your equipment are automatically returned (E) Your entrance and exit is the very opposite of dramatic (F) Your purpose is to change history by winning, or at least influencing, the battle, the time-travel has no other purpose, ie you can’t leave a note for your future self to invest in Microsoft for example or try to become your own grandparent _ie if you decide to kill Hitler, and lets face it every time-traveler tries this at least once, you would have to set the time/space coordinates for an ongoing or just commencing First World War battle in which he participated,_\* but you will appear at a random location on the allied lines which could be some distance from Hitlers location. \*\*apart from when the battle eventually came to him, I don’t think he got close to any Second World War battles, did he? ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-chance-to-change-history-pick-a-battle-hypothetical/807834/2 "2018-01-30T21:38:28Z")
I would take a tank and a selection of rocket launchers to the Battle of Milvian Bridge, to be used to blow up Constantine and as many of his forces as possible after he had his epiphany and adorned his army with the signs of Chi-Rho. (In addition to doing further damage, the tank would be used to make my escape and try and survive for the remainder of the 24 hours.) Odds are pretty good that would completely alter or eliminate modern Christianity, since Constantine and his battlefield conversion were integral to it gaining popular acceptance - having him get _blown up_ by a deus ex machina instead would flip that acceptance right around. While I balk at speculating how that would alter the world in general, it ought to be interesting! ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-chance-to-change-history-pick-a-battle-hypothetical/807834/3 "2018-01-30T21:51:13Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > I would take a tank and a selection of rocket launchers to the Battle of Milvian Bridge, to be used to blow up Constantine and as many of his forces as possible after he had his epiphany and adorned his army with the signs of Chi-Rho. (In addition to doing further damage, the tank would be used to make my escape and try and survive for the remainder of the 24 hours.) > > Odds are pretty good that would completely alter or eliminate modern Christianity, since Constantine and his battlefield conversion were integral to it gaining popular acceptance - having him get _blown up_ by a deus ex machina instead would flip that acceptance right around. While I balk at speculating how that would alter the world in general, it ought to be interesting! Sorry, only what can be carried on your person, the time travel machine can only fit a human with some extra equipment (I did miss specifying this in the A to Z admittedly but its in the other text) 🙂 It might be more difficult to change the battle as you suggest but still possible I assume? ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-chance-to-change-history-pick-a-battle-hypothetical/807834/4 "2018-01-30T22:11:33Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > I would take a tank and a selection of rocket launchers to the Battle of Milvian Bridge, to be used to blow up Constantine and as many of his forces as possible after he had his epiphany and adorned his army with the signs of Chi-Rho. (In addition to doing further damage, the tank would be used to make my escape and try and survive for the remainder of the 24 hours.) > > Odds are pretty good that would completely alter or eliminate modern Christianity, since Constantine and his battlefield conversion were integral to it gaining popular acceptance - having him get _blown up_ by a deus ex machina instead would flip that acceptance right around. While I balk at speculating how that would alter the world in general, it ought to be interesting! The world was far more barbaric pre Christianity. Roman circuses are but one example. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-chance-to-change-history-pick-a-battle-hypothetical/807834/5 "2018-01-30T22:12:33Z")
> [@Atomic\_Alex](#): > > Sorry, only what can be carried on your person, the time travel machine can only fit a human with some extra equipment (I did miss specifying this in the A to Z admittedly but its in the other text) 🙂 > > It might be more difficult to change the battle as you suggest but still possible I assume? Well, the real problem in that case is that I’ve never fired a rocket launcher (or rifle, or pistol, or bb gun) before. Can I send a trained commando in my place? A single well-placed rocket to turn Constantine into tomato paste might be itself sufficient, honestly, but the more people packing the marked shields that get taken out the more likely it’ll work. So maybe load him up with machine guns too. Alternatively it might be best to send as little equipment as possible in him in order to avoid him being determined to be the source of the ‘divine punishment’ and subsequently demonstrated to be mortal. To that end having extra stuff on him that draws attention to him might be counterproductive - it might interfere with his ability to get away unnoticed. But the rocket launcher is necessary - a simple death by bullet won’t have nearly the stamp of divinity as gibs would. (And in reference to your screen name, the reason I didn’t propose sending a suitcase nuke is because I need to ensure there are survivors to report that Constantine marked his army with a christian symbol and paid the price for hewing to false gods.) ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-chance-to-change-history-pick-a-battle-hypothetical/807834/6 "2018-01-30T22:14:29Z")
I would travel to Constantinople 1453 with as many biological weapons as possible and decimate the Ottomans. The history of the Balkans would be far less bloody. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-chance-to-change-history-pick-a-battle-hypothetical/807834/7 "2018-01-30T22:15:07Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > The world was far more barbaric pre Christianity. Roman circuses are but one example. The world was more barbaric in general, all over, but has mostly grown out if it, even in areas where Christianity held little or no sway. Regardless, I don’t promise better, I promise _different_. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-chance-to-change-history-pick-a-battle-hypothetical/807834/8 "2018-01-30T22:17:13Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > The world was more barbaric in general, all over, but has mostly grown out if it, even in areas where Christianity held little or no sway. Regardless, I don’t promise better, I promise _different_. This is nonsense. The most barbaric century was the 20th. And the most barbaric regimes were not religious. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-chance-to-change-history-pick-a-battle-hypothetical/807834/9 "2018-01-30T22:19:10Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > This is nonsense. The most barbaric century was the 20th. And the most barbaric regimes were not religious. Um, yeaaah. Have fun with that. ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-chance-to-change-history-pick-a-battle-hypothetical/807834/10 "2018-01-30T22:21:59Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > Well, the real problem in that case is that I’ve never fired a rocket launcher (or rifle, or pistol, or bb gun) before. Can I send a trained commando in my place? Hhhhmmmm I’m going to say it has to be someone you actually know, so if you know any actual commando’s then sure, or just someone good with guns (and, apparently, rocket launchers) Also I don’t really approve of your choice but I have to give credit for your thinking 😉 (also the thought of backpack nukes did cross my mind but I forgot to mention it, well it does cause problems with deployment anyway!) ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-chance-to-change-history-pick-a-battle-hypothetical/807834/11 "2018-01-30T22:24:08Z")
Along **begbert** ’s lines… I choose the Battle of Badr (624CE). Load me down with a number of special warhead RPGs and a launcher. The warheads will be loaded with weaponized smallpox along with some other nasty things, all of which are highly contagious, spore up and last forever, and to which I have been fully immunized. Let’s see how Islam develops when everybody who is anybody is wiped out before it has a chance to spread. It would still exist, but in what form? ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-chance-to-change-history-pick-a-battle-hypothetical/807834/12 "2018-01-30T22:28:04Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > Um, yeaaah. Have fun with that. How may I count the ways: Nazi Germany USSR Maoist China Khmer Rouge Ottoman Turks Rwanda Former Yugoslavia Imperial Japan Modern drug violence in Mexico ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-chance-to-change-history-pick-a-battle-hypothetical/807834/13 "2018-01-30T22:30:00Z")
> [@Atomic\_Alex](#): > > Hhhhmmmm I’m going to say it has to be someone you actually know, so if you know any actual commando’s then sure, or just someone good with guns (and, apparently, rocket launchers) Well, damn. The only person I really know who has military experience is my uncle, who is probably too old, may never have fired a rocket, and who I’d feel bad about sending to his probable death. (Seriously, 24 hours is a long time. Anybody who goes on such a trip -to a war zone- is dead meat. Especially if they don’t know the local language.) Next you’re going to tell me I have to supply my own equipment! > [@Atomic\_Alex](#): > > Also I don’t really approve of your choice but I have to give credit for your thinking 😉 Hey, if I’m going to arbitrarily stir the pot of history, I’m going to use the biggest paddle I can think of. Plus what has Christianity done for me lately? Pshaw! ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-chance-to-change-history-pick-a-battle-hypothetical/807834/14 "2018-01-30T22:46:45Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > I would take a tank and a selection of rocket launchers to the Battle of Milvian Bridge, to be used to blow up Constantine and as many of his forces as possible after he had his epiphany and adorned his army with the signs of Chi-Rho. (In addition to doing further damage, the tank would be used to make my escape and try and survive for the remainder of the 24 hours.) > > Odds are pretty good that would completely alter or eliminate modern Christianity, since Constantine and his battlefield conversion were integral to it gaining popular acceptance - having him get _blown up_ by a deus ex machina instead would flip that acceptance right around. While I balk at speculating how that would alter the world in general, it ought to be interesting! > [@begbert2](#): > > Well, damn. The only person I really know who has military experience is my uncle, who is probably too old, may never have fired a rocket, and who I’d feel bad about sending to his probable death. (Seriously, 24 hours is a long time. Anybody who goes on such a trip -to a war zone- is dead meat. Especially if they don’t know the local language.) What if you send him 22 hours before the battle starts? He just has to cool his heels for most of one day, then emerge when it’s time to show everybody what’s what. ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-chance-to-change-history-pick-a-battle-hypothetical/807834/15 "2018-01-30T22:49:24Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > Next you’re going to tell me I have to supply my own equipment! Actually…well no, lets just say mad-inventor friend is also a weapon hobbyist 😉 > [@begbert2](#): > > Hey, if I’m going to arbitrarily stir the pot of history, I’m going to use the biggest paddle I can think of. Plus what has Christianity done for me lately? Pshaw! And Silenus has just wiped out Islam…I think I should have put a ‘No WMD’s’ rider in my OP… > [@kaylasdad99](#): > > What if you send him 22 hours before the battle starts? He just has to cool his heels for most of one day, then emerge when it’s time to show everybody what’s what. Well that’s why I added the ‘just as the battle starts or during’ part, so the person sent doesn’t have time to prepare the ground (and also probably has to fight for their life as well as try to accomplish their goal) Also no matter how many times I do these things and try to cover all bases it never really happens! ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-chance-to-change-history-pick-a-battle-hypothetical/807834/16 "2018-01-30T22:53:31Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Along **begbert** ’s lines… > > I choose the Battle of Badr (624CE). Load me down with a number of special warhead RPGs and a launcher. I’ll take the [Davy Crockett](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Davy_Crockett_(nuclear_device)). ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-chance-to-change-history-pick-a-battle-hypothetical/807834/17 "2018-01-30T23:08:09Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > I’ll take the [Davy Crockett](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Davy_Crockett_(nuclear_device)). Not man-portable I believe? ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-chance-to-change-history-pick-a-battle-hypothetical/807834/18 "2018-01-30T23:08:26Z")
> [@Atomic\_Alex](#): > > Actually…well no, lets just say mad-inventor friend is also a weapon hobbyist 😉 Phew! Okay, so what kind of body armor has mad-inventor friend stocked? It’s going to get nasty out there. Or could I maybe bring a drone? One strapped to the weight limit with high-powered explosives, and controlled by a controller that even an idiot can use? My arrival is supposed to be inconspicuous so I should be able to get clear of the fighting before unleashing it from its period-appropriate carrying case… > [@Atomic\_Alex](#): > > And Silenus has just wiped out Islam…I think I should have put a ‘No WMD’s’ rider in my OP… Hey now, I thought I was quite conservative with the weaponry I requested. Thought it would be interesting to do my damage with a scalpel rather than a hammer. (Also it crosses my mind that unleashing uncontrolled weaponized smallpox in 624CE may have a teeny bit larger of an effect than merely killing the people present at the battle. Not that I’m in a good position to criticize for unintended consequences mind you…) > [@Atomic\_Alex](#): > > Well that’s why I added the ‘just as the battle starts or during’ part, so the person sent doesn’t have time to prepare the ground (and also probably has to fight for their life as well as try to accomplish their goal) Yeah, it’s clearly a suicide mission, unless you happen to be Rambo or can bring some really effective body armor (read: a tank) to protect yourself. > [@Atomic\_Alex](#): > > Also no matter how many times I do these things and try to cover all bases it never really happens! Meh, it’s all in good fun. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-chance-to-change-history-pick-a-battle-hypothetical/807834/19 "2018-01-30T23:31:43Z")
I’d go back to the [Battle of the Granicus](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_the_Granicus), and shoot Alexander in the face. Dude was the biggest mass murderer in history until Genghis Khan showed up. We have this idea that the Greeks and Hellenic civilization were much better than the tyranny of the Persians. Bullshit. Alexander destroyed the lives of millions of people, and all for nothing, and his generals carved empires out of the ruins. What an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-chance-to-change-history-pick-a-battle-hypothetical/807834/20 "2018-01-31T01:22:19Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > The world was far more barbaric pre Christianity. Roman circuses are but one example. And it stayed that way or got worse. Think the 100 years war and the inquisition, as well as all the pogroms thanks to Christianity. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-chance-to-change-history-pick-a-battle-hypothetical/807834.md?page=2)