# Your child - planned? \[edited title\] **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 2, 2011, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-planned-edited-title/580527 "2011-05-02T23:51:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-planned-edited-title/580527/21 "2011-05-03T02:22:33Z")
Unplanned, as were my three siblings. I don’t think I even know anyone who _was_ planned, except my nephew. ---
**Author:** ![YaraMateo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/58f4c7/32.png) [@YaraMateo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaraMateo)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-planned-edited-title/580527/22 "2011-05-03T02:34:39Z")
> [@Susie\_Derkins](#): > > Unplanned, as were my three siblings. I don’t think I even know anyone who _was_ planned, except my nephew. It depends on how you define planned. If planned means the couple wanted a child and was in a good place for them, many of my friends and coworkers fit planned child/children. However, if you’re taking planned to mean every time prior to impregnantion, it was the goal of their love making, then I don’t know anyone personally who fits this who didn’t have some type of fertile problem. Even then, that’s only one couple I know personally. ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-planned-edited-title/580527/23 "2011-05-03T02:38:46Z")
TheKid was unplanned and defied multiple forms of birth control. I was planned - adopted. ---
**Author:** ![kelly5078](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6f9a4e/32.png) [@kelly5078](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kelly5078)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-planned-edited-title/580527/24 "2011-05-03T04:39:52Z")
2 children, both planned. ---
**Author:** ![suranyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-planned-edited-title/580527/25 "2011-05-03T05:05:23Z")
One child, very much planned. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-planned-edited-title/580527/26 "2011-05-03T05:24:57Z")
One planned, one unplanned. 12 years apart. ---
**Author:** ![cherry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cherry)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-planned-edited-title/580527/27 "2011-05-03T05:40:48Z")
One child very much so planned with ivf. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-planned-edited-title/580527/28 "2011-05-03T06:06:40Z")
I’ve been pregnant three times, each time while using birth control. Two miscarriages, one live birth. So, unplanned all the way. Then I got snipped. Because I figured that I couldn’t count on miscarrying each time, and I certainly didn’t want any more kids. ---
**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-planned-edited-title/580527/29 "2011-05-03T06:18:32Z")
> [@YaraMateo](#): > > It depends on how you define planned. If planned means the couple wanted a child and was in a good place for them, many of my friends and coworkers fit planned child/children. However, if you’re taking planned to mean every time prior to impregnantion, it was the goal of their love making, … then the only one I know who did this is my sister. Three children, all conceived when they were supposed to be, all born within two or three days of their due dates, all within about three ounces of the same weight. No, I don’t know how she did it. (Well, except that that’s the way she does everything.) As for me, wanted three, have three. The timing was the only unplanned thing about them. So, in the spirit of the rest of the thread: First child-unplanned (earlier than intended) Second child-planned, miscarried (later than intended) Third child-planned (later than intended) Fourth child-unplanned (earlier than intended) ---
**Author:** ![Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ed655f/32.png) [@Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crown_Prince_of_Irony)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-planned-edited-title/580527/30 "2011-05-03T06:32:14Z")
[ul] [li]First one definitely planned (though I quit my job three days before we found out - I could have planned **that** part better . It all worked out really well, though.)[/li][li]Second one semi-planned (we’d felt that 2.5 years between kids was about right, so we weren’t **not** trying, and we just happened to get pregnant when Kid #1 was around 18 months)[/li][li]Third one, my wife planned (bio-clock ticking frantically, my wife wanted to try for a boy after having two girls; she kinda-sorta forgot to tell me she was trying, not that it was a big deal)[/li][li]Fourth one is due in two days - wife and I are constantly exhausted, we don’t have enough baby clothes since we can’t find time to go shopping, our other kids are at each others’ throats constantly, our house is already too small, we can’t agree on a name, and did I mention that we’re **exhausted**? Definitely unplanned.[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Girl\_From\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3da27b/32.png) [@Girl\_From\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girl_From_Mars)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-planned-edited-title/580527/31 "2011-05-03T07:57:12Z")
One and one on the way, both planned throughout IVF. ---
**Author:** ![Neeps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a183cd/32.png) [@Neeps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neeps)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-planned-edited-title/580527/32 "2011-05-03T10:39:16Z")
> [@Girl\_From\_Mars](#): > > One and one on the way, both planned throughout IVF. Woa! Did I miss the announcement? Congratulations on your success!! Fantastic news 😃 Like **GfM** , I have one, very, very much planned through IVF. Second one will be as planned as the first, I suspect. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-planned-edited-title/580527/33 "2011-05-03T10:50:37Z")
One on the way, planned like D-day. Fertility treatments, though not IVF. ---
**Author:** ![Girl\_From\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3da27b/32.png) [@Girl\_From\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girl_From_Mars)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-planned-edited-title/580527/34 "2011-05-03T11:24:06Z")
> [@Neeps](#): > > Woa! Did I miss the announcement? Congratulations on your success!! Fantastic news 😃 > > Like **GfM** , I have one, very, very much planned through IVF. Second one will be as planned as the first, I suspect. I only had my first beta yesterday, so haven’t had time come to terms yet - you know, never count your chickens… But thanks, perhaps it’s time I started getting excited! ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-planned-edited-title/580527/35 "2011-05-03T14:20:16Z")
I am currently pregnant with an unplanned child. I am having a c-section in part because I am having them tie my tubes while they are in there. My husband is perfectly happy only having one kid and I am _not_ doing this again so it is really the best option. No more surprise babies for us! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-planned-edited-title/580527/36 "2011-05-03T14:45:17Z")
Currently 16 weeks in on a very planned pregnancy. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-planned-edited-title/580527/37 "2011-05-03T15:08:45Z")
One child, planned. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-planned-edited-title/580527/38 "2011-05-03T15:08:49Z")
Well, the first pregnancy was unplanned, as a result of honeymoon activities, but it ended in a miscarriage. The second pregnancy was planned in that we were doing what we could to get pregnant again. This became kid number one. For the third pregnancy, we weren’t actively doing anything to _not_ get pregnant. This became kid number 2, 17 months later. The next pregnancy within 3 months of kid number 2 (and the fourth in less than 3 years) caught us completely off guard, but again we weren’t trying to avoid being pregnant. This also resulted in a miscarriage, after I had a vasectomy. But hey, two healthy kids: one of each. We did all right. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-planned-edited-title/580527/39 "2011-05-03T15:13:25Z")
Went through fertility treatments, to no avail. We were given a less than 1% chance of conceiving naturally. Started the adoption process. Surprise pregnancy 9 months after the fertility treatments failed. So, I’d call that “unplanned.” Hoped for, but totally unexpected. ---
**Author:** ![PeskiPiksi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e495f1/32.png) [@PeskiPiksi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PeskiPiksi)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-planned-edited-title/580527/40 "2011-05-03T15:24:37Z")
First kid was planned. I’m not sure what to call second kid. We knew we wanted two, but we weren’t planning on having them so close together. So let’s just say he was in the plans, but arrived ahead of schedule. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-planned-edited-title/580527.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-planned-edited-title/580527.md?page=3)