# Your child really loves to do something he's really bad at **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 13, 2011, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-really-loves-to-do-something-hes-really-bad-at/602801 "2011-11-13T16:41:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-really-loves-to-do-something-hes-really-bad-at/602801/121 "2011-11-14T15:39:35Z")
> [@Vihaga](#): > > This is going to depend on what the parents’ goals are in enrolling their kids in the class. If most of the parents enrolled their kids for the kids to have fun and exercise rather than to try to make professional dancers out of them, the teacher is accomplishing the parents’ goals. > > It sounds like the teacher has a choice between hearing from an angry parent that their kid doesn’t realize he’s awful versus hearing from a dozen parents that are annoyed that a dance class for 6 year olds is being run like it’s important for anything other than fun. Why shouldn’t it be both? It is possible for his lessons to be fun AND teach him a real skill at the same time. If the teacher only treats it as a source of fun, without skill development, then it’s pointless. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-really-loves-to-do-something-hes-really-bad-at/602801/122 "2011-11-14T15:53:12Z")
I’m late to the party, but I had to laugh because the OP’s experience with dancing reminded me of my own with my son’s basketball skills. Going to his games makes me cringe. He still hasn’t gotten the idea that he can take the ball from kids on the other team - that’s the whole point! He’s also worried about it falling on his head so he runs away when it bounces off the backboard. But he absolutely adores playing, so I let him. And I sit on my seat, wincing inwardly as he runs the opposite direction or starts spinning around in circles on the court, happy just to be part of the group. Eventually he’ll either apply himself to the sport enough to at least focus or he’ll get bored and move on. At this point, though, it’s just too early to worry about it. Definitely grin and bear it. ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-really-loves-to-do-something-hes-really-bad-at/602801/123 "2011-11-14T17:38:38Z")
> [@ugly ripe tomato](#): > > Without all the scribbles that might possibly have been bunnies, or maybe rocket ships, I wouldn’t have a sideline as a pin-up artist (long story). This reminds me of _Le Petit Prince_ - where as a kid, the narrator drew an elephant in a snake, but everyone thought it was a hat, and when he drew a cutaway picture to show the elephant in the snake, he was advised by the grownups to dedicate himself to more useful pursuits. So he never learned to draw well (the reasoning/excuse given for the child-like drawings in the book) but he did learn things like geography, which enabled him to tell apart China and Arizona, which is really useful when you’re lost during the night…🆒 I think we all have _something_ in our lives that we gave up on when it got to be too hard, and I think most of us probably regret it. I know I do. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-really-loves-to-do-something-hes-really-bad-at/602801/124 "2011-11-14T17:50:57Z")
> [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > If the teacher only treats it as a source of fun, without skill development, then it’s pointless. So nothing’s allowed to just be for funsies? Not even when you’re 6? What a terribly sad world you live in. According to you a “good” teacher ensures that every child who is less than excellent is made to know clearly what failures and disapointments they are, and that doing things because they’re fun is “pointless.”. Wow. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-really-loves-to-do-something-hes-really-bad-at/602801/125 "2011-11-14T17:54:46Z")
> [@mnemosyne](#): > > …but he did learn things like geography, which enabled him to tell apart China and Arizona, which is really useful when you’re lost during the night…🆒 Well, hey, stagger blindly into a road sign that says “Tuscon 250 Miles” and you’re in Arizona. Bumble into a road sign that says “(something in Chinese) 250 km” and you’re in China. It’s important to know these things 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-really-loves-to-do-something-hes-really-bad-at/602801/126 "2011-11-14T17:55:01Z")
> [@](#): > > So nothing’s allowed to just be for funsies? Not even when you’re 6? > > What a terribly sad world you live in. > > According to you a “good” teacher ensures that every child who is less than excellent is made to know clearly what failures and disapointments they are, and that doing things because they’re fun is “pointless.”. Wow. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-really-loves-to-do-something-hes-really-bad-at/602801/127 "2011-11-14T18:01:34Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > Plus dance class is a good way to meet girls. 😉 Indeed–he has both a school “girlfriend” and a dance “girlfriend.” He has proposed to both of them. He will take the one who answers “yes” first. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-really-loves-to-do-something-hes-really-bad-at/602801/128 "2011-11-14T18:09:46Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > Congrats? What does this comment have to do with the subject at hand? he comes in here, says “hey, this is what I think, I’m not sure what I should do, I’ve considered x, y, and z. What do you all think?” and you respond as though he was talking about beating his kid with a stick. I mean, _therapy?_ ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-really-loves-to-do-something-hes-really-bad-at/602801/129 "2011-11-14T18:16:20Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > Indeed–he has both a school “girlfriend” and a dance “girlfriend.” He has proposed to both of them. He will take the one who answers “yes” first. Well, no wonder he’s sticking with dance class no matter what-the babes 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-really-loves-to-do-something-hes-really-bad-at/602801/130 "2011-11-14T18:59:06Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > \ > I loved coaching the kids, it was in the triumvirate of great things - sex, music, coaching. \ I had to re-read this a couple of times to understand what you were trying to say - you might want to find a different way to phrase that. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-really-loves-to-do-something-hes-really-bad-at/602801/131 "2011-11-14T19:06:13Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I had to re-read this a couple of times to understand what you were trying to say - you might want to find a different way to phrase that. 🙂 /insert Jerry Sandusky joke here… ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-really-loves-to-do-something-hes-really-bad-at/602801/132 "2011-11-14T19:50:31Z")
:dubious: Too soon. ---
**Author:** ![YourAdHere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/65b543/32.png) [@YourAdHere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YourAdHere)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-really-loves-to-do-something-hes-really-bad-at/602801/133 "2011-11-14T21:12:26Z")
Definitely encourage him to keep doing it. Through a weird series of events and twists and turns, I now spend my life doing something that at one point was the thing I sucked at most. Not only that, I now teach other people how to do it! Don’t worry though, I’m awesome at it now, although there is always much to learn Latin was always my favorite class, mainly bc of my teacher, but it was also the subject I sucked at most in high school. A large part of that was laziness bc languages take a lot of effort and time, and I wasn’t used to having to do a lot of work. After college (and I took it there too), I got hired to be a long term sub for a Latin class until they could find a teacher. I really loved the job, the kids and my boss liked me and said I did a good job teaching it, so I buckled down and spent hundreds, possibly thousands, of hours teaching myself Latin over months and years until I was good enough to pass the teacher licensure exam. I found that once i really tried as an adult, I COULD be good at it. I had always used the excuse “I’m not a languages person. I just can’t do languages.” In my case at least, that turned out to bs. I was just being lazy before. The Latin exam is pretty hard too. One of my coworkers majored in classics at BC and still failed it 3 times. I sucked at it then, but I’m awesome at it now. Never ever in a million years would anyone have guessed I’d be doing this. My parents and teacher suggested I drop it bc it was killing my gpa. The moral of the story is that you never know. The kid could suck now, but he could come back to it as an adult and be AMAZING. Plus he will have a huge headstart over someone just starting out as an adult. ---
**Author:** ![YourAdHere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/65b543/32.png) [@YourAdHere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YourAdHere)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-really-loves-to-do-something-hes-really-bad-at/602801/134 "2011-11-14T21:19:53Z")
And to add to that, I truly love my job, love the kids, love teaching Latin, and enjoy learning more about it myself. I definitely want to do this for the rest of my life. However at the time I was in high school, NO ONE would’ve EVER predicted this. Don’t discourage him! He’ll get enough of that from his peers and own self consciousness later. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-really-loves-to-do-something-hes-really-bad-at/602801/135 "2011-11-14T22:10:28Z")
> [@YourAdHere](#): > > And to add to that, I truly love my job, love the kids, love teaching Latin, and enjoy learning more about it myself. I definitely want to do this for the rest of my life. However at the time I was in high school, NO ONE would’ve EVER predicted this. > Don’t discourage him! He’ll get enough of that from his peers and own self consciousness later. My daughter has wanted to be a Latin teacher since last year, 7th grade. She is passionate about it! I have to bite my tongue, because I can’t imagine there are tons of positions still for Latin teachers, but her enthusiasm is infectious, I love Latin myself, she’s only in 8th grade so she’ll probably change her mind anyway. Your post, however, gives me great hope that if she does keep loving it, it’s path she could pursue! ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2011, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-really-loves-to-do-something-hes-really-bad-at/602801/136 "2011-11-15T00:52:54Z")
> [@ugly ripe tomato](#): > > Well, no wonder he’s sticking with dance class no matter what-the babes 😃 Every time I take my 8 year old to ballet practice, I see the 2-3 teenage guys dancing with the 20 teenage girls, and I grind my teeth at how smart those guys are compared to me at that age. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Lowry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Sam\_Lowry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Lowry)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2011, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-really-loves-to-do-something-hes-really-bad-at/602801/137 "2011-11-15T01:07:37Z")
I realize I’m a little late with this, but I just wanted to say that you also can’t base decisions on whether you think your kid will be made fun of. Partly because that’s no way to live, but also because it’s often impossible predicting what kids will make fun of. He might keep dancing and never get better and no one ever cares. Or he could start playing soccer and get pretty good at it, but be made fun of because he’s not as good as other players, or because soccer isn’t as cool as some other activity, or for any number of other reasons. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2011, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-really-loves-to-do-something-hes-really-bad-at/602801/138 "2011-11-15T02:24:47Z")
Seven years from now we will be warmly welcoming new Doper **Billy Elliot**. ---
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2011, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-really-loves-to-do-something-hes-really-bad-at/602801/139 "2011-11-15T07:34:59Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > Raise your hand, please, if you think I’m proposing that I tell the kid something to the effect of “Hey, you suck at this, so we’re not going to let you do it anymore.” True story…please, do PM me if you want confirmation. My son took up Irish dace at age 15. He took a ton of shit from his friends for doing it. He’s now an Army Sgt in Afghanistan, and his wife is a dark-haired fair-skinned Irish beauty. That he met in dance class. Does this story mean anything to you, or your son? Dunno, but lemme tell you…there’s more future in those classes than you might think. ---
**Author:** ![Sr\_Siete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Sr\_Siete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sr_Siete)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2011, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-really-loves-to-do-something-hes-really-bad-at/602801/140 "2011-11-15T08:05:16Z")
I think that, just like with anything else, we should just allow Will Smith to [settle the argument](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPEdwaLQLag&feature=related). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-really-loves-to-do-something-hes-really-bad-at/602801.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-really-loves-to-do-something-hes-really-bad-at/602801.md?page=8)