# Your child, switched at birth. Switch back? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 10, 2015, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-switched-at-birth-switch-back/712309 "2015-02-10T17:55:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2015, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-switched-at-birth-switch-back/712309/1 "2015-02-10T17:55:23Z")
[Two families in France have won a big settlement from the hospital that switched their newborn baby girls… twenty years ago. The girls grew up with each other’s biological parents.](http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-31350550) > [@BBC](#): > > …an auxiliary nurse unwittingly switched them. > > Although both mothers expressed doubts at the time about their babies, because of their different skin tone and hair length, they were sent home anyway. > > Ten years later, still plagued by doubts, Ms Serrano and her husband had tests which proved neither of them was the biological parent of their daughter, Manon. > > After an investigation, the two families made contact with each other and eventually took the case to court, but **there was never any question of reversing the swap**. Presumably, everyone involved had settled into the familial identity they left the hospital with,\* and didn’t want to send the 10-year-old daughters they knew away and ‘adopt’ strangers instead… even if the strangers were actually their own biological children. - Not exactly– > [@AP](#): > > Three years [after birth], Manon’s hair grew curly and her skin olive-toned - unlike either parent. Her father separated from Sophie Serrano after village rumors spread about the young girl being “the postman’s daughter.” In 2004, DNA tests showed that Manon was the daughter of neither of them. So the error in this case caused some corollary damage; no doubt this contributed to the ruling for the settlement. But consider just the matter of kids being in the ‘wrong’ families. Baby switcheroos _seem_ to keep happening occasionally, at least often enough that the possibility is a meme and [a source of “angst and terror” (per comments)](http://abcnews.go.com/US/baby-switched-minneapolis-hospital-breastfed-wrong-mom/story?id=17897247). Everyone takes it as given that a baby switch _discovered promptly_ is to be corrected, and even then it is a great trauma (especially if one infant is breastfed by another’s mother, apparently). So where’s the boundary between the Minnesotan situation in the second link, and the French one in the first? How old could the child _you_ were handed be, for the discovery of _no biological relationship_ to require a switch-back, in your mind? ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2015, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-switched-at-birth-switch-back/712309/2 "2015-02-10T22:07:10Z")
Once the kid is a year and a half old, roughly, they’re sufficiently aware of their environment to make such a switch traumatizing. Before that, everything is traumatizing! 😉 It’s a nice excuse for the two families to become friends, and visit each other a lot…but only if they both agree. The minute the lawyers come visiting, the deal’s off. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2015, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-switched-at-birth-switch-back/712309/3 "2015-02-10T23:03:22Z")
10 months old is when babies usually first start to cling to their parents and resist all the people who want to hold the baby. Before that, they recognize their parents, but don’t show trauma at being separated from them. So if the idea is not to traumatize the child at all, then 10 or 11 months would be the cutoff. However, there’s something called infant amnesia, meaning that the parts of the brain (IIRC, the hippocampus in particular) are not well-developed enough to make long-term memories. There’s an earliest age at which people can remember things, and it’s about 32 months (not quite three years), and for some people, long-term memories don’t begin until ever later, because brain development in an individual thing. So, you probably won’t cause permanent trauma, however much the child seems to be upset in the moment, by moving a 1-year-old. If your primary concern is not traumatizing the child, you probably need a cutoff of, to be on the safe side, 2 & 1/2 years. Then, there are the parents’ wishes. If both sets of parents don’t wish to switch 6-month-olds, don’t switch them. But if one set of parents wants to switch 5-year-olds, and one does not, the probability of a switch causing trauma should cast the tie-breaker (albeit, I feel sorry for the kid whose parents wanted to switch her). ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2015, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-switched-at-birth-switch-back/712309/4 "2015-02-11T00:17:08Z")
Settle down next door to the other family. Try to work together. ---
**Author:** ![Marion\_Wormer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d07c76/32.png) [@Marion\_Wormer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marion_Wormer)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2015, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-switched-at-birth-switch-back/712309/5 "2015-02-11T00:37:56Z")
I read a case about two girls switched at birth. When the families realized what had happened both families wanted to keep the same girl. Let’s call her ‘the pretty one’. Neither family was interested in fighting for the other girl ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2015, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-switched-at-birth-switch-back/712309/6 "2015-02-11T01:01:33Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > Settle down next door to the other family. > Try to work together. Yeah, seems to me that the best solution would be to become best friends with the other family and share as much as possible. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2015, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-switched-at-birth-switch-back/712309/7 "2015-02-11T01:02:42Z")
Years ago I read about a case in California, where two boys had been switched. It was discovered when they were about twelve or thirteen. The two families kept the one they’d always had, and agreed to become socially acquainted. I also remember a TV movie about two girls in Australia who’d been switched, They were seven or eight. The one family, which was very well to do, wanted their bio daughter back, but also didn’t want to give up the girl they’d raised! ---
**Author:** ![Omega\_Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7c8e57/32.png) [@Omega\_Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omega_Glory)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2015, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-switched-at-birth-switch-back/712309/8 "2015-02-11T01:59:02Z")
I’d probably want to keep the kid I had and visit with the other one. > [@Baker](#): > > I also remember a TV movie about two girls in Australia who’d been switched, They were seven or eight. The one family, which was very well to do, wanted their bio daughter back, but also didn’t want to give up the girl they’d raised! I remember a real case where one woman ended up with a child who was supposed to be adopted out. Her biological son was given to the people who’d agreed to adopt the other child. The people who adopted the wrong child were abusive, and the other woman got custody of both boys. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2015, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-switched-at-birth-switch-back/712309/9 "2015-02-11T02:03:47Z")
> [@Marion\_Wormer](#): > > I read a case about two girls switched at birth. When the families realized what had happened both families wanted to keep the same girl. Let’s call her ‘the pretty one’. Neither family was interested in fighting for the other girl Yikes!:eek: ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2015, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-switched-at-birth-switch-back/712309/10 "2015-02-11T02:38:36Z")
There was a similar case on Brazilian TV. One of the families was poor, but white. The other was mixed and more affluent. They worked it out amongst themselves, and decided on spending the weekends with their own biological children. The affluent family helped the poorer one send their child to a good school, same as their legal child. The TV show built the poor family a nice home for sharing their story on TV. ---
**Author:** ![Gestalt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/90ced4/32.png) [@Gestalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gestalt)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2015, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-switched-at-birth-switch-back/712309/11 "2015-02-11T03:15:10Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#): > > Baby switcheroos _seem_ to keep happening occasionally, at least often enough that the possibility is a meme and [a source of “angst and terror” (per comments)](http://abcnews.go.com/US/baby-switched-minneapolis-hospital-breastfed-wrong-mom/story?id=17897247). Anyone else think this woman might be over-reacting? She “couldn’t stop crying” because somebody else breast-fed her baby once. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2015, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-switched-at-birth-switch-back/712309/12 "2015-02-11T03:35:40Z")
I don’t get the need to have a biological connection to family, so I wouldn’t want to switch at any point after we came home from the hospital, really. So…two days? But in the interest of the other family, including my biological child’s relationship with them, I would switch if they asked up to 9 or 10 months old. After that, there’d have to be a pretty compelling reason, one that I can’t actually think of at the moment. After 3? I’m going to fight that in court. I would really hope that we could all get along and raise them more or less communally, if at all possible. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2015, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-switched-at-birth-switch-back/712309/13 "2015-02-11T06:33:38Z")
The 1999 movie “[Switched at Birth](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Switched_at_Birth_%28film%29)” is about 2 American girls switched at birth. It seemed one family was going to have only 1 child so when this baby was born with a birth defect, a nurse at the hospital switched her with a healthy baby girl another family who had 5 other children. The family with numerous kids raised the girl but she died at about age 9. When they did the autopsy they discovered she wasnt theirs and that is what set up the movie which had all these lawyers involved. In the end they got visitation rights and eventually the girl moved in with them. It turned out it was the grandmother who was working in the hospital as a volunteer nurse who did the switch. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2015, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-switched-at-birth-switch-back/712309/14 "2015-02-13T03:11:56Z")
> [@Marion\_Wormer](#): > > I read a case about two girls switched at birth. When the families realized what had happened both families wanted to keep the same girl. Let’s call her ‘the pretty one’. Neither family was interested in fighting for the other girl There was a pretty big case where two girls had been switched and one had died. The “parents” (and I use the term loosely for these assholes) who had been raising the dead girl then sued to try and get the other girl back. I don’t exactly recall how it ended, but I think they (quite sadly) won. Fucking courts. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Sensitive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/58956e/32.png) [@Darth\_Sensitive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Sensitive)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2015, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-switched-at-birth-switch-back/712309/15 "2015-02-13T03:52:13Z")
Man, what if one of the kids had a major disability that put her into another culture? ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2015, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-switched-at-birth-switch-back/712309/16 "2015-02-13T04:09:44Z")
Being deaf doesn’t necessarily make one Deaf, and is there any reason you went so sly in that response? ---
**Author:** ![Kinthalis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kinthalis/32/16084_2.png) [@Kinthalis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kinthalis)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2015, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-switched-at-birth-switch-back/712309/17 "2015-02-13T15:56:26Z")
My son is just over a year old. No way in hell could I let him go, regardless of his biological origins. He’s my son, now, and I love him more than life. I don’t think I could make the switch at any point really, after maybe the first few days. And even then it would probably be heart breaking. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2015, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-switched-at-birth-switch-back/712309/18 "2015-02-13T16:03:03Z")
I had a friend who was switched at birth. Luckily, they caught that within a few weeks, and were switched back to their biological families. The families grew up as neighbors for some years after that, and they even went to school together. Eventually my friend’s family moved away. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2015, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-switched-at-birth-switch-back/712309/19 "2015-02-13T18:53:19Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > There was a pretty big case where two girls had been switched and one had died. The “parents” (and I use the term loosely for these assholes) who had been raising the dead girl then sued to try and get the other girl back. I don’t exactly recall how it ended, but I think they (quite sadly) won. Fucking courts. That’s a lot of conclusions to draw based on very little substance, especially when the whole story was provided in the link in **Urbanredneck** ’s post about 9 hours before yours. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Sensitive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/58956e/32.png) [@Darth\_Sensitive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Sensitive)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2015, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-switched-at-birth-switch-back/712309/20 "2015-02-14T02:00:24Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Being deaf doesn’t necessarily make one Deaf, and is there any reason you went so sly in that response? Because I was disappointed to find this thread wasn’t about the ABC Family show. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-child-switched-at-birth-switch-back/712309.md?page=2)